Blurring the Lines (14 page)

“I’m so sorry.” Chris pulled her in even more tightly. “Jonah is an amazing kid.”

“He is…” She sniffed a few more times and rested her head on his shoulder.

“You know that’s not me, right?”

“Chris. I still think that’s everybody. And you cannot ignore how similar everything is.”

“Not the ending, Corinne.” He breathed into her hair, wishing he didn’t have to leave. “I’m not going anywhere—at least my heart isn’t.”

He held her, trying to memorize how she felt against him. The warmth of her.

“How are you really? After rehab? Getting ready for tour?”

The worst part about him wanting her to be honest, was that he knew he had to be the same. “Better some days than others.”

He tensed waiting for her reaction.

“Tell me if that changes, okay? Tell me if you need me.”

He kissed the top of her head, kneading his hands across the back of her neck. “I need you.”

SIXTEEN

Corinne drove toward home from the yoga studio with her mind spinning. Every breath was a moment closer to Chris needing to go back to California. Even Max had called Corinne to say how much harder everyone had to work because Chris wasn’t there. How Lita was giving him hell, despite her excitement over Donovan agreeing to come on tour. As much as Corinne hated the thought, she had to get him back home. But the moment he left, everything would change. For months. For so long that maybe whatever they’d started would just slip away. But she knew this was part of his life. Chris had to go home so he could get ready to leave again.

They’d only been back from Oregon for a few days. She’d had so little time of being with him—especially considering she’d been sick for days after they came home.

Her phone buzzed in a text.

Heather: Dan good enough to head home. Will take us a few days, but I’ll see you soon!! I feel so out of touch!

Corinne: Love you friend! See you soon!

And in that moment she was selfishly grateful that Heather would be back not long after Chris had to leave.

Chris had done about thirty interviews that afternoon with radio stations all across the country, and Corinne felt the memory of the frenetic energy that came before a tour.

He gave her an apologetic frown over his phone and mouthed, “Last one.”

She nodded and went to the kitchen for cold water before flopping on the couch. She had an hour before Jonah came home and the evening routine would start. How the routine would play out spun through her head, and she realized how much a part of her life Chris had become.

Her gaze followed him as he shuffled around the small living room, sounding every bit the part of the famous guy excited to get out on the road and meet his fans and share his new music… And then their eyes connected and his smile was all the relaxed honesty of a regular guy that she was falling for way too fast. A guy who was leaving. Going home. Going on the road.

He tossed his phone onto the chair, sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap. “How
are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better.” She frowned. “You need to go.”

Chris frowned back and gave her a quick nod. “Soon. Sort of days ago… But tonight or tomorrow.”

Corinne rested her arms around his neck and brought them together for a kiss. The uncertainty of how things would be be
tween them once he went home raced through her mind, making her kiss feel more desperate. He answered back immediately, and she expected him to stop them. For one of them to slow down, but his mouth pressed harder against hers, driving up the way she needed to feel him. He slid off her top and she immediately reached for his shirt. She pushed off his shirt and he tugged down her pants. Every movement, hurried, frantic, desperate. Chris’ hands touched hers as they both pushed and pulled until every piece of clothing found the floor.

His kisses grew harder, as they tangled together, and he wrapped her legs around his waist, sending her body into a frenzy of kissing and holding and pulling and taking.

The energy didn’t stop and they didn’t stop until they were both out of breath and lying on the floor in front of the fire.

Chris chuckled as he rested his hands on his chest. “That was intense.”

Corinne rolled onto her stomach, propping her chin on his chest. She wanted to smile at this man who had softened her heart and made her feel love, and come into her life in such a wonderful way, but all she could think was,
he’s leaving and everything is going to change.

“You two could come, you know…,” Chris started. “On tour. It would be
—”

“No,” she answered immediately. “I’m never going to put Jonah in that position.”

With two sentences all the closeness and the delicious way her body completely dissipated.

“I get that, but I have to go back. I’m meeting up with Donovan again and we’re hiring tour techs and… There are interviews stacked up. Photo shoots because Lita said she’s sick of making sure I don’t look photo-shopped in when I am…”

Corinne remembered. She knew it was asinine for Chris to be up here in the month before a new album launch, but it didn’t make it less difficult to let him go. “I know how it is.”

“Come down, okay? For a long weekend, or a week, or forever.” He grinned widely. “Just anytime you want to. Shoot. I’ll fly you two down every weekend if you’d like. You can hole up in my house if the exposure is what you’re worried about. And I’m serious about coming on tour. Take a leave of absence from work. M
iranda looked into some incredible home-school programs, and we could learn about the places we go while we’re there.”

“I’ll think about it.” Corinne sighed because she couldn’t imagine trying to navigate that scene with Jonah. “Bringing Jonah into the chaos, even just at your house…
Especially after the paparazzi mess after Jaxen… I’m not…”

“Hey.” Chris lightly stroked her back, her arms. “I know. But I’ll be there to help, okay?”

Corinne nodded even as doubt started to push its way in. The reality was that they lived in two different states. Two different lives. Chris was leaving on tour. And everything was about to change.

“Don’t worry, Corinne. Don’t worry about me.” He lightly ran his finger across her cheek. “I know where I want to be.”

She leaned into him and kissed his chest. The mood had been broken, and his touches felt like a reminder of how temporary this all might have been. “We better get dressed and pick up Jonah.”

He chuckled again and sat up.

Corinne didn’t move, just wanted to enjoy these little moments before they didn’t have them anymore. He reached for his clothes, and she watched.

“I suck at goodbyes, Chris. So when you leave, just go, okay?”

His face softened and he turned toward her and kissed her lightly. “Okay. And I’ll see you again soon.”

Maybe months. Corinne stared at the floor her heart squeezing at the thought of it. “Soon.”

SEVENTEEN

Chris hated his house—every empty inch of it. He and Corinne had hung up two hours ago, near midnight, and he was still too restless even to sit. He walked around his bed and paused at the foot remembering the night she stayed there. He couldn’t sleep then either, but he was writing and she was asleep next to him. In that moment, memories spinning through his mind, he’d have traded almost anything to have her here.

Pushing through his bedroom door he headed down into the living room. He’d always hated this space. Too white. Too open. Too pretentious with the two-sided fireplace and bizarre art prints. What would Corinne do to it? How would she change things if she were to come stay?

Would she ever come stay?

He needed his music. Finally having a purpose loosened his shoulders, and he jogged down the stairs to the basement breathing in deeply at the bottom. This was where he’d heard her voice for the first time. He had to find a way to talk her into coming down before he left. Had to.

“Chris!” Lita called. “You down here?”

He raked his hands through his hair and grabbed a guitar, shoving the blanket behind his couch. “Here!” he called.

Lita stepped into the studio followed by Griffin. She shook her head with an amused smile. “Problem with your bedroom?”

“I’m practicing.” He tapped the guitar, even though he knew she probably saw through him.

“I call bullshit, but that’s fine. We ready?” She twisted, wearing another pair of sky-high shoes. “Should we send someone out for those damn scones you got me addicted to?”

“I can find someone,” Griffin started, but she silenced him with a kiss, making Chris miss Corinne even more.

“Stop,” she scolded with a smile. “Someone else can take care of it.”

“Okay.” Chris chuckled. “You guys are making me nauseous. Let’s get working.”

Griffin smiled and sat flipping open Lita’s guitar case before his own.

One thing Chris knew for sure was that Griff had talent and that charming, shy thing girls seemed to go crazy for. He’d probably end up being the star of the tour rather than any of the rest of them. And Chris was actually happy for him over it.

Now he just had to find a way to convince Corinne to drop her life and come with them—at least for a little while.

Corinne raced up her bumpy driveway, her truck lurching on each puddle hole. She skidded to a stop and stared at the back of her mother’s nearly pristine BMW. She hated when she got caught at work, but it didn’t happen often, and her mother was always ready to pick up Jonah and bring him home. They may have had their differences, but her mother loved her grandson.

She grasped the steering wheel and took a deep breath. “Okay, Corinne. It’s your mother. You haven’t needed help
from her in a long time.”
Partly because Chris has been here for the past month.
“And she’s family. Your mother. Go inside.”

She pushed open the door.

“We’ve just finished snack and homework.” Her mom stood.

“Thank you,” came out in a rush of breath. “My boss was sick today, and so I—”

“No need to explain.” Her mother gestured between them. “But I do need to get back to the city.”

Corinne nodded.

“I showed Grandma how to make the airplanes Chris showed me!” Jonah beamed.

It felt as if someone had punched her chest. It felt that way every time she made tea for one instead of two. He was still in California. Her eyes floated around her small house. It hadn’t felt empty before. It felt full of her and Jonah and promises of a different life. A safer one. But things had changed.

Her mother rested a hand on her arm. “You know I love you, Corinne.”

Corinne’s body relaxed. “I know.”

“I wish…” Her mother sighed. “I wish we operated more often on the same wavelength.”

Me, too.
Corinne pulled her mother into a hug. “Thanks again for the help.”

“You take care of yourself. Sometimes solutions to problems come from unexpected places.”

“What does that mean, Mom?”

Her mother chuckled as she stepped out the door. “It means that whatever has you feeling lost might have a fix you haven’t thought of yet.”

Right.

She watched her mom pull down the driveway and two minutes later, saw Heather’s car pull up the driveway next door.

Her heart jumped.

Heather was back!

“Jonah!” she called. “They’re back!”

He followed her out the door and ran through the trail coming onto Heather’s driveway just as she opened her car door.

The women grabbed each other in a hug, Corinne holding on as if her life depended on it. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Me, too.” Heather squeezed her and the kids flew out of the back door, shouting and high-fiving each other.

Dan leaned forward and gave Corinne a wave—his narrow face looking more sallow than she’d ever seen it. He turned slightly further, and she could see the mottled skin where he’d been burned. Her stomach tightened at the severity of his wounds.

“How is he?” Corinne asked quietly.

“Wheelchair or crutches. His arm is mangled, but it’s still there. Same with his leg. Could have been so much worse.”

Corinne pulled Heather into another hug. “I’m so glad you two have each other.”

Heather’s smile was filled with every kind of love as she looked over at her husband. “There’s nothing like it in the world.”

Nothing like it in the world.

For just a chance at that… For just the chance, she
should do anything, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that leap. Not yet. Not with her and Jonah and her carefully built life hanging in the balance.

EIGHTEEN

Chris slumped in his lounge chair listening to the final tracks of his album in the darkness, wishing he had a beer. A small pipe and a few hits of marijuana… Those amazing pills Max used to come by...

Had getting ready for tour always been this frustrating? He was damn proud of his album—it was everything he wanted it to be. But all the details...

He didn’t give a crap what he wore onstage. This was supposed to be his thing, his way. instead he was doing all the same BS photo shoots and fittings.
Fittings.
(Due to Lita perfectionism). He was going to wear jeans and t-shirts. At least the music sounded the way he wanted it to. Everyone had done their jobs well, especially considering how backwards the process had been.

His phone beeped in a text.

Iris: You doing okay?

He was fairly certain he had the best sponsor on the planet. The woman was close to psychic. Chris took a long slow breath in and out.

Chris: Hanging in.

Iris: You know to call anytime.

Chris: Thanks. You’re awesome.

His finger hovered over the button to call her but his house was clean of any pills or alcohol. He was determined. For himself. But also for Corinne and Jonah. The worst way to show her he was ready for something real, was to relapse.

His phone rang. Ten thirty, just like every night.

“Hey…” He closed his eyes and tried to pretend she was there. “I’m missing you.”

“Yeah.” She let out a long sigh. “I’m missing you too. Maybe…”

He held his breath.

“Maybe Jonah and I should come down sometime before—”

“Yes. Please.” He sat up. “Anytime. Now.”

“Okay.” She laughed. “I’ll look into tickets.”

“No, no, no.” He had to keep her from flying commercial. He’d had some photographers at the end of his driveway and they were occasionally in front of his house as well—all side-effects of the tour about to kick off. He wasn’t going to risk Corinne being seen or recognized or shown as attached to him in any way because he knew she’d hate it. The commercial airport wasn’t a good idea. “Let me charter something. I swear it’s a lot less extravagant than it sounds, and then neither of us will have to worry about airport traffic and all that.”

“That’s not what I—”

He lowered his voice. “Please, Corinne.
Please
let me do this. Please.”

“I can’t say no to that kind of pleading,” she whined, but he heard the laughter in her voice. “But even you flew commercial when you came.”

“I flew private on my way home.” He smiled, stood, and leaned on the balcony. “And anyway, you’re not supposed to say no when I plead.”

“Is that how it is?” she teased.

“If I always got my way, yes,” he teased back.

“This is weird,” she said quietly. “You
’re not here.”

He felt exactly what she meant. Even after that short time, being away from her made him feel like crucial parts of him were missing. “My offer still stands. For you to come all the way. I don’t want this to sound bad, but money is easy for me. I can take care of your house. We could come up with some cool home school program for Jonah. And you can practice yoga over me anytime you like.”

She laughed a little again. “You’re trying to soften me up by making me laugh.”

“Yep.” He ran a hand over his head again. “This is new for me, Corinne. I can’t remember ever feeling so...tight...just because I’m not near someone. I wanna fix that, but I want you to want to… This is sounding like a lot of wants.”

“And I’m trying to force myself to go slow.”

He knew her reasons, he just wished she could see inside his head or feel what he felt. “Okay. So, this weekend? Please?”

“Anytime on Friday,” Corinne answered. “Whatever’s easiest. Jonah can’t wait to see you.”

“Easy is for
Miranda to deal with.” He walked back toward the house feeling like he might actually sleep that night.

“You’re spoiled,” she accused.

“You would be too if you let me.” He thought about how amazing it would be to have her with him all the time. What he wanted to do for her, but hadn’t been able to.

“I’m letting you get me a private plane, which Jonah will love by the way. You’re not allowed to say you’re not spoiling me.”

“Fair enough. I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon.”

They hung up and all the things that they didn’t talk about suddenly weighed on him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d just felt lighter. Finally. But what was it going to be like while he was on tour? Nearly three months. He hated how rushed he’d always felt with Kincaid, but now he did want a show almost every night so he could get home sooner. Back to Corinne sooner. The other thing they didn’t discuss was how they were going to work once he got back. He loved his place, but he loved hers, but there was no way he could stay away from LA, and she was determined to be in Alpine Heights.

Sometimes it felt like they were in a no-win situation, but he was in too deep to do anything but push forward. His hands shook in nerves, and he nearly dialed Iris.

He jogged up the stairs to his room and sat on the bed staring out at the blackness of the ocean. He was just going to watch the water until he fell asleep. That’s all.

Four depressing half-written songs and two hours later, exhaustion finally won.

Corinne’s very few clothes were strewn over her bed next to her small, worn suitcase. Heather kept touching pieces of clothing and then setting them back down.

“I leave in minutes, and I’m not packed, H. This is an emergency.” Last time she hadn’t cared what she looked like. She had attempted to
not
fit in, but this time it was different.

“Yeah,” Heather teased. “Almost as dire as flying halfway around the world for a husband who—”

“Okay, okay.” Corinne laughed. “You win.”

“You just let your wardrobe fall into functional because that’s all you’ve needed.” Heather slid Corinne’s only decent pair of jeans into the bag.

“Yeah.” Corinne flopped on the bed, knowing she really had to get moving.

“How are you feeling about going?” Heather asked.

How did she? “I’m dying to see him again, but terrified for the same reason.”

“I get that.”

“Wait.” Corinne sat up. “I thought you were all thinking I should move forward.”

“That’s when you were afraid to.” Heather laughed lightly as she folded up another shirt. “Now that you
are
moving forward, I need to be the friend who tells you to be careful and look at all the sides.”

“Well, I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m…” Her chest squeezed. “He gets things about me, and… I understand him. I’m just… It’s new, and Jon
ah’s already involved because Chris snuck in as my friend, and…”

“Try to relax and enjoy your vacation, okay?” Heather said with her perfectly optimistic voice. “And give Christian Meyer a good squeeze for me.”

“I’m hoping to give him lots,” Corinne teased. That was the easy part with them. Everything else felt riddled with obstacles.

“Half of me wants to tell you to be careful, and the other half wants me to yell at you to scream caution into the wind and go for it. If I’d actually been around while he was here, my advice might carry some weight.” She tossed a couple shirts onto the small case.

“Well.” Corinne zipped up her suitcase, no longer caring what she did or didn’t have. “I feel the same, so this should be interesting.”

“It should be that,” Heather agreed. “And don’t forget…”

“Dirty details,” Corinne finished.

“Always.”