Bob The Zombie (5 page)

"I guess that's my way of saying 'holler at me if you ever need a hand'." I grinned and she chuckled, giving my hand
back over to me. It was kind of nice. Normally, I get a disgusted look, and if they give me the body part that detached, they fling it at me. That she was getting so comfortable with dead things tipped me off that something wasn't right. That she was so quick getting us out the door was another clue.

We left with her promises to call us trailing behind as we made our way through the creepy overgrown lot to Griff's Expedition.

"She seems real nice." He looked like there was something weighing on him.

"Yeah. She'
s great."

"You got a feeling we're not done with her yet?"

"Yup, got a feeling she is going to explore her newfound abilities and I am a tad worried about what she will do with them. I'd hate to find out she decided to recreate NOTLD with some folks she dislikes."

"NOTLD?"

"Night of the Living Dead?"

"Right. Yeah, that would suck. The last thing the Council wants is some necromancer going full bore nuts on the human world. I can see Von Karolinas having a shit-fit over this." Griff sighed and after rubbing his eyes he continued, "I don't want to see her killed, man. She's a sweet kid, just a little fresh on the magic. I'm sure as time goes on she'll mellow."

"Into what though? She's got serious power, G-man. We should tell Wilhelm immediately." Since I've mentioned him a couple times I should probably tell you that Wilhelm Von Karolinas is the head of the Vampire Council. They have full control over all supernatural beings. Their main concern is making sure that only the humans who need to know about us supers, are the ones in the know. Every hospital had a few folks in the know, so did every police department, old folks home, and school. The world leaders all knew, but they kept it quiet. Roughly 70% of the world populace was unaware of the things that go bump in the night, and we all wanted to keep it that way.

"I don't know, Bob, calling in Von Karolinas right now might be a mistake. It's possible she won't misuse her power at all. If we call him in, he's going to go all bad cop interrogation on her."

"He very well might, but what do you think he'll do to us if he finds out we knew about her and didn't tell him?"

"You're right. I hate it, but you are." Griff sighed, dug out his cellphone, and dialed the most powerful vampire in the world.

After he told Wilhelm about Christine, all I could hear from Griffin's end was a lot of uh-huhs. There was a final "Yes, sir," then Griff hung up the phone and leaned his head back, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"We have to go talk to her. Wilhelm is co
ming to visit her and we need to tell her what to expect." He sounded defeated. I nodded and opened my car door. Good thing we hadn't driven off and then called that little leech, he'd have made us come right back. I wasn't a fan of Von Karolinas, but the Council did a lot of good work and they really needed to know about all of this just in case Christine did pull a NOTLD.

As we walked up the dilapidated porch for the second time, I was sure to avoid the step that had nearly eaten my leg on the first go around. I was congratulating myself on that feat when the door flew open and Miss Whitaker stepped out and right into us. Her face flamed bright red and I knew that we had been right to call Wilhelm. As much as I hated that guy, the last thing we needed was a necromancer running around creating a ghoul army. Historically, those things never end well. The necromancer usually ends up dying in agony from the pain of calling so many ghouls. The looks of shock, embarrassment, and fear that flashed across her face was enough to let me know that my hunch was right and she was on her way to the graveyard to try and raise more ghouls.

"Oh, hi."

"Christine, we need to talk with you."

"I swear I wasn't going to..."

"It's not about what you were, or weren't, going to do just now. It's about the head of the Council coming to see you."

"What head of what council?" She stepped back, away from us.

"Wilhelm Von Karolinas is the head of the Vampire Council. They sort of run the supernatural community and control what is, and isn't, revealed to the world. He is coming to speak to you in a little bit."

"Why?" She looked angry. I decided to step in.

"He likes to welcome any new beings into the super wo
rld." He did, but not with a fruit basket, or anything like that. Nope, he welcomed them with a warning that he'd send them straight to hell if they ignored any of his rules.

"So, he's coming to welcome me?" She looked unsure.

"Yeah, and he'll give you a run down on how things work in the super community. There are so many rules and regulations that it is easy to break them when you don't know what they are." Griff was giving her an apologetic smile.

"Oh. I was just..." she gave up, threw her hands in the air, and sat down on one of the sturdier looking rockers on the porch.

"You were going to test your powers." I gently finished the sentence for her, "I understand. You just learned you hold the power to bring the dead back to life. I'm sure there were some family or friends you were off to visit." I couldn't blame her. I understood the desire to bring back what is lost.

I don't think she fully understood the ramifications of her actions, and that was my fault for not being completely honest with her about my unlife sucking diseased monkey testes. "It's one thing to bring your family back to say goodbye, or clear any grievances so that you have no regrets, but bringing them back just because you can isn't cool. Trust me. My mom brought me back. Then she forced me to leave when I started rotting. I have eternity now. Eternity all by my lonesome. An eternity I didn't ask for, and never wanted. I'm not saying I'd rather be dead... well, I guess I kind of am. Once you bring someone back, your life is changed.
Theirs is changed as well. Do it to someone you love, and it's just a recipe for disaster." She had paled during my speech.

The mom thing seemed to have hit the target for her. It's not something I like to think about, and yet today I'd been forced to dwell on it. As much as I love my mother and as much as I know she loves me, I hate her for bringing me back. I always will. Not like a 'stalk and kill her' sort of hate her, more a 'seethe quietly until her death and rage about it to her spirit' hate.

"I'm sorry." She said it softly, but she looked me right in the eyes, hers looked rather haunted and sad.

"Who?" I asked,
stupidly realizing I sounded like a deranged owl.

"What?"

"Who were you going to bring back?" I clarified.

"My fiancé. He died last year."

"I am sorry for your loss, but believe me when I tell you that you don't want to bring him back. It won't fetch either of you any happiness."

"Thanks, Bob."

"If you ever want to talk, call me. I'll answer any questions you have, and do my damnedest to help you through this." I put a hand over hers and she didn't shrink away from my touch. Might not be much to you, but it meant a great deal to me. That's the one thing I hate most about being a zombie, very few people are willing to touch me, or be touched by me. In a world where touch equals comfort, I'm laying naked on a fiberglass insulation bed, covered in a killer bee blanket.

"Thank you. Thank you both so much." Tears streamed down her face and she gave me, then Griff, hugs.

"It's ok. We understand what you're going through. My bar is down on Trammel Street. It's called Martin's Bar. You're welcome there anytime. All sorts of supers meet there and have fun. It might be something you'd enjoy." Griff held her hand and looked right in her eyes as he spoke, waves of calm and love rolled off him. She visibly relaxed and the tears slowed, then stopped.

"Thank you." She swiped the
remaining trails of tears off her face and rubbed her eyes a moment.

"Anytime." I smiled at her and was rewarded with a kiss on my cheek. She gave
Griffin a kiss on his cheek, too, and we sat on the porch waiting for Wilhelm, talking about supernatural critters and what they are really like.

When Von Karolinas arrived,
Griffin and I said our goodbyes and left. This time when we left, I felt better about the whole thing. We climbed up in Griff's beast of an SUV and headed back to the bar to do some clean up. When we arrived, a man was unloading a Golden Tee arcade game from a van.

"What's this? I'm the owner of this bar." Griff walked right up to him.

"I got a call, some guy bought this, said I should send it to Griffin Martin with sincere apologies for the damage. It's from some dude named...Skag? Sign here." After squinting at it to read the name, he held a clipboard out to Griff who took it and read over the paperwork.

"Bring it in. We'll hook it up and then, if it works, I'll sign the delivery order." Yup, don't mess with the green man. He knows how to run a business.

The guy did exactly what Griff asked. Seconds later, when the game blared to life and worked, he signed the paperwork. The delivery man thanked us, took the ten bucks Griff held out to him and waved on his way out the door mumbling something about crazy 'Walking Dead' fans. I grinned and began playing virtual golf.

"It's nice they tried to replace the Donkey Kong machine, but Golden Tee? Really?" Griff sighed, shook his head, and went to the kitchen.

"Hey, it could be worse. They could have sent Jeopardy." I called after him. He didn't respond. I shrugged and went back to the game. I like Donkey Kong much better, but Golden Tee isn't so bad either. Patsy Cline's 'I Fall To Pieces' came on the jukebox and I grinned. I like to think of it as my song. So, there you have it. A peek into the unlife of me, Bob the Zombie, Clark Griswold's younger, more decayed cousin. Sure, sometimes it's fun. Mostly, being me is a pain in the rotting ass. I crack wise and do what I can for the people I care about, but the truth is, I didn't choose to be brought back. I would never have wanted to been and it hurts.

I guess what I'm saying is that nobody's life (or unlife) is easy and you never know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in their penny loafers. (Does anyone actually still wear those things?) While you're here, you might as well do all you can to make the folks around you happy. Life is too short to dwell on the misery and horror you see. If you take too much time wallowing in the bad, you'll miss out on all the good. Words of advice from a dead man, listen or don't, that's up to you. Meanwhile I'll be here, playing Golden Tee and working on the story of how I met Holly Andrews. I think it's a tale you'll enjoy. Until then, shamble on.

A mother of two, wife, and zoologist, Jaime spent thirteen years as a zookeeper until an illness hit her. When it caused her to have to retire from zookeeping for good she started writing full time. Since then, she has written four novels, three novellas, and scores of short stories.

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