Bobby D. Lux - Dog Duty (10 page)

While Nitro wondered if that Jack Russell had told him the truth, I was in the Hart’s backyard with my eyes zeroed in up towards the sky. Stars can make excellent company in short doses. Their constant blank stares taunted me like they knew the world’s secrets and would love to tell them to me. I was just too far away. I wished that I was consumed on finding a way to track down Clay and Scamper. I wished that backyard had seen the last of Fritz. I wished that Nitro’s kennel was going to be mine again. I wished my leg didn’t scare me.

The truth was… Truth was… Those hips. Scarlet and her hips walked for miles and were no closer to getting out of my mind as when they began their jaunt hours ago. And not just those hips, that voice. Like a tipsy songbird caroling like no one was watching. Every note massaged the part of the spine that even the most limber of stretches will never reach. I tried to focus on Clay, but she kept creeping into the foreground.

Ernie had it on good word that we were being taken to the dog beach in the morning. He also advised that Saucy and Scarlet would be there. My plan was to see what she knew about Clay or if she knew anyone who did. I had to focus on that. She seemed like the type who knew a lot of dogs. But the more I pictured her in my mind, the more I wanted to talk to her about anything besides police work.

Maybe this would be okay after all, I thought. Maybe I was overreacting to losing my job; maybe it was time to reinvent myself. I could be a lover. I could be a playboy like Ricky in Internal Affairs. Scarlet wasn’t a potential informant, no, she was new start for me. A new Fritz who wasn’t consumed by the past. A Fritz uninterested in a quest to recapture something lost. I could be a dog who might be able to track down something new. Something I hadn’t had since the salad days of my career. A future. Hours passed and the stars held their ground. If I wasn’t going to sleep, no one was.

“Ernie,” I said, to the snoring heap out cold on his back leaning into the stucco with his arms extended over his head. “Ernie. Ernie. Get up. Hey.”

“I lost my collar,” Ernie said, half-awake, “I’m licensed, don’t worry.”

“Ernie.”

“Look it’s a public alley, anyone can rest here, pal.”

I bopped him a little with my paw. It took three bops until he saw my face staring down at him. His eyelids dribbled and he squirmed like a poked balloon until he eventually landed on most of his feet.  

“What’re you doing?” he said, yawning. “You don’t do that to someone who’s sleeping. You made me lick the wall.”

“You wouldn’t get up.”

“I know.
That’s the point. You look terrible. Have you slept?” I shook my head. “Aw, come on. Is something wrong? Stupid question, of course something’s wrong. Spill it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m gonna go get some water to get the taste of paint and dirt out of my mouth and when I return you’re gonna tell me what’s eating at you. If, at that point, you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m going back to bed and if you wake me up again, I’m gonna bark until they come out and scream at us because if I’m gonna be miserable, we all are.”

Ernie stumbled to his water bowl, took a few sips, started back, thought twice, got some food, a few more sips, and then sat down against the wall.

“You were saying?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“So?”

I didn’t know how to say it.

“Last call.”

I didn’t know if I even
wanted
to say it.

“Fine. If my eyes open again before-”

“Okay. Wait. Give me a second.”

“Fritz. Listen, clearly you’ve been up all night with whatever it is. The last thing you need is more time with it, so just spit it out. First thing that comes out. Open your mouth and let’s go already.”

“It’s just that… I think that… The thing is-”

Ernie slapped me.

“A. That’s for waking me up. B. I don’t want to hear an ill-prepared speech, and C. I’m still basically asleep, and oh my god, I just slapped a cop. Dogs have been put away for less. I mean, you have to understand that when a dog needs his sleep and he doesn’t get it that said dog who may or may not be me, otherwise yours truly, is prone to do something that he doesn’t mean and instantly regrets it and hopes that it’s something that can be forgotten about in no time. In fact, if I keep talking and you just stay still and don’t make a sound, I’ll never know if you’re even mad at me and I think that I actually prefer it that way-”

I slapped Ernie back.

“We’re even,” I said. Ernie nodded. “I need your help. You’re sure they’re taking us to the beach?”

“That’s what Saucy said. Her person was talking to our people so it seems to be the case. Usually that’s how it works.”

“What should I do?”

“You woke me up for that? Easy. You run, you get wet, you get dirty, you eat stuff buried in the sand, and then you get a bath when we get home. Was that really something that couldn’t wait?”

“I’m talking about with Scarlet.”

“I knew it. Me and Saucy saw the way you were looking at her. She does that to everyone, but unlike everyone else, she did it to you on purpose.”

“She didn’t do anything to me.”

“Oh yeah? You were saying that you haven’t slept yet. And why is that, Fritz?”

“It could be a lot of things. I’m still trying to relate to life here after my career was ripped from me by those dogs.”

“Okay. I’ll give you that, but you slept fine until last night. You sure it’s not something else, huh?”

Of course it was something else. I used to look down on guys who fawned over a female. Have some self-respect, am I right?

“Fine,” I said. “It’s her. It’s her, so what? I was going to only ask her about Clay because she claimed she knew something. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s lying to me, but I don’t care. I want to get my brain screwed back on, but I can’t shake her from it. Why does that happen?”

“Couldn’t tell you, my friend.”

“Well, what do you do with Saucy?”

“Saucy? What are you talking about?”

“Isn’t she your girlfriend?”

“No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no,” Ernie said, wagging his head so fast that his whole body convulsed and the tags on his collar jangled like a car alarm. “We’re just friends. Never even thought of her that way and if I know her, she’s never thought of me that way. But don’t worry, I can help. I know my way around a thing or two.”

“Good. Believe it or not, most females I’ve ever been around are ones I’ve arrested.”

“You’ve never had a lady friend or anything?”

“I’ve always been too busy with work.”

“I’m going to take care of you,” Ernie said. “Just go along with me and don’t wake Nipper.”

Ernie stretched his legs out and turned away from me. He took some deep breaths and wiggled his jaw loose. He pranced around me, puckering his lips and winking his eye.

“Hiya boys,” Ernie said, in his highest octave. “It’s me, Scarlet, you know, the prettiest dog, I do say, in the whole widest world of ours. Mmm-Hmmm, well hello there, Fritzie, you big piece of hunk.”

“Umm, hello?”

“Is that there a question or a declarative statement?”

“The latter.”

“Ladder? Honey, you don’t have to do any climbing to see me.”

“No. Not ladder. Latter. Lat-ter. There’s a difference. One means-”

“Sounds the same to me.”

“They’re two different words.”

“You calling me stupid?”

“No, Ernie.”

“Ernie? My lordy, let’s not talk about that rascal.”

“Fine,” I said, knowing this exercise would accomplish nothing.
I was never a fan of role-playing or simulations because they’re a waste of time. There’s no substitute for real life practical experience. That’s where you learned to react on your toes. But Ernie meant well.

“Now, I have it on excellent authority that there’s something you wanted to tell me? No one’s around baby cakes, let’s hear it.”

“Scarlet, I just wanted to tell you that-”

“You like the way my eyes reflect the splendor of the moonlight?”

“No. Hadn’t occurred to me.”

“The way I don’t even have one piece of fur that’s out of place?”

“I’m sorry. Most females I encounter are criminals.”

“So
, I’m a criminal?”

“No. Um, unless being so pretty is a crime, okay?”

“You dogs are all alike!”

“We’re done with this, Ernie.”

“I said don’t talk about him.”
Scarlet
slapped me again. Harder than Ernie did before. “That’ll teach you to treat a lady with some- Oh no, I did it again. I’m so sorry, Fritz.”

“Thanks for trying, Ernie,” I said, licking the inside of my mouth, “but it looks like I’m on my own.”

“Sorry. Can I go back to bed then? I don’t want to hit you again.”

“Go back to sleep,” I said.

Ernie dropped where he was and was snoring within moments. I went over against the wall, took a seat, and tried to calculate how much self-respect I just tossed by the wayside.

“Don’t change a thing,” Nipper said. “Hey, you want help, why don’t you go find a love doc, alright?”

“What’d you say, Nipper?” I said, as my ears shot up and I suddenly felt wide awake.

“What? I’m tired.
I don’t feel like arguing.”

“No. What did you just say? Please.”

“I said if you want help, why don’t you go to a love doc? You gonna make fun of my joke now. Go ahead.”

“I’m not going to make fun of you. The doc. Of course. Nipper, that’s it. You’re right. The dock. I gotta go to the dock! I don’t why I couldn’t remember. They said the dock. Nipper, can you hear me?”
He turned his body away from me. “I gotta find the dock. That’s the last thing they said. That’s where I find them.”

Who cared about sleeping? I was up on my feet patrolling the yard. I looked up at those last few remaining stars. Now I was doing the taunting. I figured out their little riddle and come the following night, they were going back to what they did best: watching over me as I slept. But for the rest of that spectacular night, I didn’t close my eyes. It was glorious.

The docks sliced out from the coastline above the horizon. The dog beach was relatively new to Grand City and had arrived fast on the heels of a news report which detailed the pollution levels of the local beach water. Code Orange. The water approached a hazardous level thanks to the waste and pollution from the port.

The residents were concerned about the effects on the children (what else is new) who swam too close to the bad water. In a packed chamber, the city council voted unanimously to dedicate a half-mile buffer zone of coast between the docks and the rest of Grand City State Beach. A week later, I was at the ribbon cutting ceremony for
Grand City Dog Beach
.

A volunteer now charge
s two dollars for parking plus another fifty cents per dog to visit the beach on the weekends. During the work week, there’s no charge beyond the parking. Dogs from neighboring cities are charged seventy-five cents. Locals rule.

The docks have always been the backdrop for most of the crime in Grand City. There’s the petty stuff that happens downtown and the squabbles in the gated neighborhoods, but the big stuff, the stuff they make movies about, those crimes are the lifeblood of the docks. To have a successful local importing and exporting industry, you need a bunch of men willing to work long
, tough hours in lousy conditions. You think the guys willing to take those jobs are going to listen to a suit and tie with a piece of paper from the local college that says
Business Management
? Not a chance. You needed even tougher guys from a different school to handle those types of workers.

The type of organizations needed to make the docks run smooth are the same types who strike deals with foreign companies to import the types of
goods
that don’t make it to the shelves at the mall. A lot of money came in and out of the docks. The police didn’t spend as much time out there as we should have. That’s where Clay was. That’s where I had to go. I couldn’t just make a run for it right then. Mrs. Hart would’ve seen me and after a few phone calls to Officer Hart, I’d be in custody. I needed a plan.

“Are you listening to me?” Scarle
t said, as we walked together down the sand a few hours later at the beach. The other dogs chased Frisbees (led by Ernie), dug holes (Ernie again), got yelled at for eating from the trash (take a wild guess), or were stuck on a leash and on a blanket with Mrs. Hart (Missy).

“Yeah,” I lied.

“That settles it then, sugar.”

Ahead of us, Ernie and Saucy took turns trying to bite the waves as they crashed into the shore. Ernie attempted a style that saw him take a running, barking sprint from the shore as the wave approached. He leapt as his feet hit the water, and fired off a crapshoot of bites. His head smacked the top of the wave, which sent him tail over skull. Then he ran back to Saucy and Nipper to explain that he meant to do it that way.