Body (37 page)

“More,” I whisper.

“I’m sorry, Baby. What did you say?” He twirls his tongue in circular motion around my engorged clit. “Because I think you said you wanted more.” His tongue delves deep into my core stabbing in and out, his mouth fucking me where I want his cock.

“God yes, Chase,” I squeal and gyrate my hips against his face trying to get more pressure, more tongue, more of him, more, just more.

“Tell me what I want to hear, Gorgeous, and I’ll give you what you want,” he says with extreme confidence. I moan in answer. He’s not playing fair. He knows I’m going to cave.

He spreads my cheeks wide and swirls his tongue around my anus, stabbing at the puckered hole, making me squirm with pleasure. He wets the area fully and then replaces his tongue with the soft pad of his thumb, pressing into the tight muscle as it flowers open for him. “Has any man ever had your ass, Gillian?” he asks. I shake my head repeatedly lost to the dark feeling roaring through me. He grins. “That’s good, real good. I want to be the only man who has had you in every way possible.”

My hands come up of their own accord and cup my breasts. Pushing the bra down I twist and pull at the pebbled peaks. His words of ownership and taking me in a way I’ve only fantasized about have me out of my mind. Then it dawns on me. I’m choosing to let him control me, entrusting him with my body, mind, and soul. It’s liberating in the freedom that decision brings.

It’s my choice.

His thumb presses harder into my most private juncture and pushes pasts the tight ring of muscle. A burning sensation scalds me from the inside out but quickly dissipates into white hot pleasure. He pulls his thumb slowly out and presses it back in again. The feeling is intense, unusual, but so good I start to press against it, seeking deeper penetration.

“Damn, Baby, you’re stunning. I love fucking you. You make me so hard,” he says and licks his lips. His tongue comes back into play and twirls around my swollen clit, flicking and stabbing in perfect succession. Two fingers from his other hand push into me and hook up rubbing against the pleasure button deep within me. He’s penetrating my cunt and ass as he sucks and nibbles on my clit. Full. So full I’m about to burst. I push against his fingers and thumb shamelessly as he laps and licks at my clit. His mouth clamps over the over stimulated bud and sucks hard, pushing me into a blinding orgasm that has me screaming his name at the top of my lungs.

He’s relentless in stretching out my pleasure for as long as possible, his tongue continuing the torture of my clit roughly. I twine my fingers in his hair, grip his head and clamp my thighs around his head as my orgasm rolls from one into another unending burst of pleasure. He keeps up the pressure until he’s wrung two orgasms in a row out of me, leaving me in a boneless heap, spread eagle on his mattress, my bra twisted around my waist.

His gaze is predatory as he pulls off his shirt and pants looking down at me spread before him. “Now, tell me again that you’re not my woman,” he demands.

I close my eyes and accept my fate. “I can’t,” I say realizing there was never any other option. From the minute I met Chase he had me.

It dawned on me that I was daydreaming when I felt his fingertips trail along my face. His cock nudges my entrance and presses into me. He gives me one slow inch of his thick cock at a time. Almost teasing me with it. Then finally, he’s seating to the hilt. All the air leaves my body in a whoosh the moment his bare chest meets mine. Heart to heart.

“God, I love you,” spills from his lips when he’s imbedded completely. Tears spill down my cheeks. I open my eyes and see the truth shining through his. I’ve waited months to hear him utter those words again.

I wrap my legs around his waist, enfolding myself completely around this man I adore. “I love you, more.”

***

Our lovemaking makes us twenty minutes late for dinner with his cousin Craig and his wife Faith. Craig is tall, and more distinguished looking than his siblings, though he smiles as big and as often as Carson. His wife is an elegant brunette. Her full lips stretch into a genuine grin as she offers me the seat next to her.

We fall into easy conversation with the couple, laughing a great deal throughout the meal. I really like Craig and Faith. They are new parents and spend dinner filling us with hysterical tales about their nine month old son Caden. Stories that horrify Chase and amuse the hell out of me. I’ve always wanted children, so I soak up every detail of their experience with their son.

Chase’s phone rings throughout the entire dinner. Finally, I encourage him to take the call and settle the issue or he will continue to be distracted. He grins, knowing the accuracy of my words and kisses me on the temple as he excuses himself.

Just when he is out of earshot, Faith pounces. “So you and Chase seem pretty serious.”

“Faith, really? You’ve met her once!” her husband admonishes. “I’m sorry, Gillian, she just can’t help it. She’s a matchmaker at heart,” Craig says in apology.

“I just want everyone to be as happy as I am with you, babe.” She bats her eyelashes and grins wickedly. He rolls his eyes clearly taken with his wife.

“I don’t mind, really, Craig. Chase and I are enjoying our time together, and we’re committed to one another,” I say and look off into the distance. Chase hovers by the bar. His hand rests on the elbow of a woman. Every so often he smiles and tips back his head in laughter. The woman turns around, and what I see floors me. She’s tall with a curvy body wrapped in a form fitting blue silk dress. One delicate looking hand pulls her long red hair over one shoulder. She looks a lot like me, as in, we could be sisters.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Craig says with a twinge of anger. “Excuse me,” Craig stands and stomps towards Chase and the mystery woman.

“Who is that, Faith?” I never take my eyes off Chase and this woman. He keeps touching her, clasping her elbow with one hand then moving a piece of hair away from her face. That simple act is far too intimate to be an acquaintance. Jealousy rears its ugly head, and I push it deep down in the dark recesses of my subconscious.

Faith bites her lip and I stare at her expecting an answer. “That’s Megan O’Brian.” She looks at the woman with disdain, shooting daggers across the restaurant.

“And why is she important? Chase seems to know her well.” I say quietly, trying to suppress the worry in my tone.

“Of course he knows her. That’s Megan,
the
Megan,” she emphasizes with quotes around the word “the Megan” as if that explains everything. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders. “His ex-fiancée, his first love…that Megan!” she clarifies, and I’m certain my skin goes white.

Faith scowls, watching the two interact. “I hate her. She almost wrecked our family,” she continues as she stares at Chase, Craig and “the Megan.” I still haven’t been able to form a response, stunned by her revelation. He was going to get married? Married to her. She finally tears her eyes away from the trio and focuses on me. Her face pales. “Oh shit. You didn’t know, did you?” Her eyes lower in embarrassment as I shake my head.

I stand and walk over to the group. Craig sees me and his eyes widen in shock. He retreats the second I arrive, saying something about needing to get back to Faith and settling the check. Chase doesn’t even look at me, his eyes still glued to the beauty before me. And she is just that, a true beauty. Her hair is a fiery red whereas mine is more a deep mahogany. Her doe eyes are a startling sky blue; mine are the color of emeralds. She has luscious lips as pink and full as a plum rose.

She licks them surreptitiously, but I notice her game. She’s overtly flirting with Chase. I tap his shoulder and she looks at me, sizing me up from head to toe. Chase turns his head and his eyes go wide, a full deer in the headlights, kid caught with a hand in a cookie jar look, along with every other euphemism for one who has been caught red handed.

“Um, Gillian, uh, this is Megan, um Megan O’Brian,” he stammers, the first time I have ever truly heard him at a loss for words.

I shake the woman’s hand though I’d rather punch her just for existing. “Pleased to meet you.” I slide my hand around Chase’s waist and snuggle in. His hand loops around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Chase has never mentioned you before,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant, but I’m anything but. I’m literally dying inside.

“He wouldn’t have. What we had together was--” She pauses and looks deep into Chase’s eyes. “It was, very special,” she finishes, breathless. I can feel Chase’s heartbeat pounding in his chest even though he locks me to his side. For some reason he’s still deeply affected by this woman.

“It was a long time ago,” he says sternly and she smiles coyly.

“That it was,” she says, biting her lips then twiddling with her hair. “I still remember everything,” she says again, trying to stir his memories. He bristles.

“Well, I’ll see you at my Uncle’s sixtieth birthday bash next week, then?” He backs up a step and turns us sideways.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She flicks her hair and turns. “See you then, handsome,” she says without even a nod in my direction.

I pull away from him and head back to the table quickly and grab my handbag. My movements are shaky and a bit frazzled. I try to hide the overwhelming emotion as best I can.

“We’ll see you next week, right Gillian?” Faith asks. “We’re flying in for Uncle Charles’ birthday extravaganza next weekend, right babe? She asks Craig and he nods.

Before I can answer that I wasn’t invited to the event and that I hadn’t even heard about it until “the Megan,” which I’ve lovingly changed to “the Bitch,” enlightened me that she would see
my
boyfriend there.

“Of course she’ll be by my side. Then, now, and forever,” Chase answers smoothly. I’m certain that was in effort to calm my irrational emotions. He lays a hand on my lower back and even though it makes me feel better, I’m still seething.

Chase and I exit, a good two feet between our bodies at all times. I can hardly look at him for fear that I’ll cry. We take the limo back to his Penthouse in complete silence. The elephant looming over us restricts all the air in my body like a snake coiled tightly around me.

I storm into the bedroom and throw my purse on the bed. I whirl and he’s standing there, quietly watching me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Megan,” he offers.

I nod. “What else haven’t you told me? Are you actually married? Got a couple of kids I should know about too?” I ask, not holding back.

He shakes his head. “Look, Gillian, it was a long time ago. A lifetime ago.”

“Back there, the way you looked at her, it was like it was yesterday. You still love her.” My voice cracks.

Chase shakes his head. “No, I don’t love her. I loved the idea of her.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “Look, all you need to know is that Megan and I are not together and we never will be again. She hurt me too deeply.” He pulls off his blazer and tosses it into the armchair. The tie follows it but slips off the chair onto the floor.

“I saw the way you looked at her; sometimes I think that’s the way you look at me.” Tears fill my eyes but I don’t let them fall.

He comes over and pulls me into a tight embrace. “Gillian, I’m only going to say this once. Megan is history. She is not in my life, you are. You’re the only woman I want.” He looks into my eyes as the tears fall. “Do you trust me?” He asks the loaded question of the century.

“I want to,” I say quietly. More tears stream down my cheeks. He kisses them away.

“That’s good enough…for now.” He kisses me softly and it feels like a promise, and for now, it is enough.

Chapter 19

The next week I throw myself into work and much needed time with my girlfriends. The past few months have been life altering, wreaking havoc on emotions that I thought I buried long ago. When I cut ties with Justin, I avoided things and people that would put my thoughts and emotions into a state of flux. Unfortunately, there is no escaping Chase Davis, and, frankly, nothing could keep me from that man. He owns me in all the right ways. Even with his overbearing, possessive, demonstrative ways I still want him. Need him. Have to have him in my life, now and hopefully forever.

Years ago when I sat in group therapy I promised myself up and down I would never, could never, let a man control me. With Chase, there is no question. He doesn’t use his power to hurt me. He never touches me in anger. Does he use me? Yes he does. Often and in the most pleasurable ways. He uses my body and my love for comfort and joy, not as a punching bag to get his rocks off or make himself feel manlier.

The only problem is after New York, I’ve conjured up all kinds of bad thoughts and scenarios as to why he couldn’t possibly love me the same way I love him. It bothers me that he picks and chooses what information to share with me, never telling me how he feels. It’s as if he just assumes I know. After years of being told I was worthless, a whore, nothing but a fuck toy or the reverse, treated like a porcelain doll, leaves a girl a bit destroyed emotionally. Daily I wish he’d tell me what it is he feels. For me. For us.

“Earth to Gigi,” Bree says over her chai tea. My three cohorts, the sisters I’ve never had, the best friends a girl could ever dream of having, are all staring at me.

“I’m sorry guys; I just keep going over and over the trip in my head.” I shake my head and take a sip of heaven. The vanilla latte is frothed to perfection with the exact amount of syrupy goodness needed to soothe and warm my soul.

“I’d be too, if Tommy tried to replace his ex with me,” Maria drops the bomb everyone, including me, has been thinking since my return a few days ago.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I can’t be Megan’s substitute. We’ve been through so much over the past few months. I’ve told him I love him. He’s shared those words with me. When he was saying them, I believed him.” I cringe and rip at the napkin under my latte. “I can’t be a replacement for “the Bitch” can I?”

“Gigi, you’re not!” Kat plays devil’s advocate. “We’ve all seen the way he looks at you; he’s told you he loves you.” Her small smile is sweet and loving. Exactly what I expect from the positive one in the group. “Even Carson said he’s never seen Chase so happy, and he’s known him all of his life.” Her words make me feel the tiniest bit better. I place my hand on her arm and give it a reassuring squeeze.