Body (9 page)

“God, what you do to me, Gillian. It’s never…let’s just say I’m not used to this.” He pulls completely away and walks to the other side of the bed and gets in. The rumpled sheets and imprint of his head in the pillow tell me he’s been sleeping next me. In my drug induced state, I hadn’t noticed. I frown, wishing I could remember the exact moment his body entered the bed next to mine.

“Not used to what?” I turn on my side, resting my head on the pillow and stare at him in the soft light. He’s lying on his back, breathing deeply. His white t-shirt stretches across his broad chest, accentuating the hills and valleys of a perfectly sculpted frame. I want to scrape my nails against the fabric to see how he would respond. He’s contemplative and brooding. Instead of touching him, I wait, keeping my distance.

“This attraction. It’s maddening.” He frowns as I stare.

Chase is panty-melting good-looking. Everything about him attracts me. From the tip of his dark hair, down his beautiful face, and over his broad chest, to the parts of him I haven’t yet been introduced to. I’m not sure what he is talking about, but my head is heavy and I’m losing the battle to keep my eyes open. I feel him turn towards me.

“Gillian, look at me,” he says sternly.

My eyes open and focus with a great deal of effort. I’m fading fast.

“I need you to remember these three things. Vanilla, emerald, and popsicle. You got that?” I nod. “No, say it,” he demands as I close incredibly heavy lids.

“Um, vanilla, emerald, and a popsicle,” I repeat like a good girl.

The next time I wake is to heat, a veritable inferno. A body surrounds me, large legs and arms enclosing me tightly. The room is bathed in black and strong arms hold me fast against a wide chest, preventing much movement. I can’t remember the last time I woke in a man’s arms. The feeling of being so sheltered, so secure is heart-melting. I can feel Chase’s breath quicken and his chest rise and fall against my cheek. If only I could bottle this feeling for eternity.

“Baby, what are the three things I asked you to remember?” Chase asks in a low, gravelly voice.

“Um, green, vanilla and popsicle.” I snuggle into his chest and start to drift. My head is so heavy it feels like a stack of bricks are holding it down.

He stiffens and pulls away, forcing me to lose my comfy spot. “Gillian, what are the three things in exact order, exactly as I said them?” His tone is harsh, demanding.

I try really hard to think back to what he told me. “Oh. Vanilla, emerald,
not
green, and popsicle.” I say confidently but still exhausted.

A huge breath leaves his chest, but the scowl I can barely see in the shadows of night still mars his lovely face. “Go to back to sleep.” He grips me protectively, and I rub against his side like a cat, stretching and finding just the right position before I start purring.

Gentle fingers glide along my arm, shoulder, neck, hairline and down along my hip and naked thigh, waking me once more. The caress is repeated over and over, sending dizzying bouts of lust through every limb. The sensation is wonderful and I roll completely onto my back, opening myself to him in the most vulnerable way. Chase’s large hand slips to my bare belly and covers the entire expanse. He’s huge compared to me.

An errant thumb lightly circles the edge of my panties. My breath puffs out in tiny frantic bursts of excitement. I feel the heat of his head at the base of my neck, his five o’clock shadow grating along the skin there. His teeth nibble at my chin in a line to my mouth. Once there, I take his lips into a feverish kiss, never having opened my eyes. His tongue demands entrance. I open for him. In this moment there’s nothing I want more than Chase, over me. On top of me. Completing me.

Chase drinks from the well of my mouth, biting into my bottom lip, then moving to its twin. I groan, needing, wanting more. Finally, his hand slides under my shirt to cup one full breast. I arch, pressing the heavy flesh into his strong hand, relishing the tingles that spread through my chest. I taste his minty breath as he moans his pleasure into my mouth. His fingers fondle the globe teasingly. Then utter relief splatters across my senses as he brings the cup of my bra down and grazes his thumb over an aching tip. Bliss.

“Oh, God,” spills from my throat, as if ripped directly from the heavens. It’s guttural and raw. Chase is doing this to me. Turning me into something else, someone I don’t recognize. He swallows my cry as if he’s eating it, all lips, teeth and tongue.

With his thumb, he pulls and pinches the tight peak, elongating it into a tender bit of flesh that’s tethered directly to the pleasure building in my core. I grip him hard, pulling him to me, sliding my hands under his shirt to scratch my nails down the fine skin of his muscular back. He takes the advantage and slides my shirt up, exposing my chest to his gluttonous eyes. His hands push the bra down to fully squeeze and grope both breasts greedily, flicking and tugging at each tip, driving me insane with lust. I pray that he never stops touching them. I’d willingly serve them up on a platter every day if he would promise me this nirvana regularly.

“Fuck, you have an incredible body!” he says as he pulls my right breast into his warm mouth. Sparks fly as the wet heat of his tongue sends ribbons of pleasure down to the ache between my legs. God, I wish he’d touch me there. His other hand plucks and pinches my nipple’s twin, adding to the mounting tension spiraling through me. Heat infuses my belly and I arc my hips against his straining erection, relishing the heavy growl that leaves his lips. As he worships my tits, I think I might actually come from him lavishing my breasts. He sucks and flicks the enlarged peak with the tip of his tongue until it glistens. He moves one hand up to my neck to settle at the nape. His thumb grazes my swollen cheek. I gasp as pain splinters in every direction, dampening my excitement.

“Shit, Baby, I’m sorry. Fuck!” He backs away, and I pull him with all my might. He’s a wall. An unmovable one with a mighty scowl marring his previously lust ridden features. I want to throw my hands in the air and flail my limbs in a full soap opera worthy tantrum. He cannot set me on fire without putting me out.

He sits back on his haunches, watching me seethe.

“Chase, no. No, it’s okay. Really, I’m fine.” I place soothing kisses everywhere I can reach as I scoot into his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist. With intent, I’ve placed my center directly against his raging erection. He slides his hands along my ass and grips me firmly, digging his rock solid cock against my clit.

I moan, head tilting back, baring my neck. “God, yes!” His hand slides lightly along the column. I feel the melancholy building in him as he reverently touches the five perfect crescent shaped indents marring the skin there. They’re likely coupled with bruises that would resemble a man’s hand, a physical reminder of the torment I underwent only hours ago.

I shiver, forcing myself not to recoil. More than anything, I
need
to let a man be close to me again. If not forever, at least for now, with
this
man. Damn, I promised myself I’d never be the victim again and here I am, covered in bruises, narrowly having escaped death by another abuser.

Chase lays me back against the bed, his soulful gaze filled with pain. “Gillian, I’m going to give you some relief, but we need to wait.” His words are meant to soothe. They only frustrate. I am not a porcelain doll. I can take whatever he dishes out and then some.

I look at him, confusion and desire thick in the air around us. Before I can respond, he slips his hand into my panties and plunges two fingers deep into my wet sex.

I cry out. Ecstasy invades every facet of my being. His long fingers press high and deep, sending waves of pleasure rippling through me. This is exactly what I wanted. Chase touching me. His thumb searches through my curls and finds the little bundle of nerves nestled there, sliding against it perfectly. He pumps his fingers in and out of me as he circles just the outside rim of my clit, driving me wild. My hips buck and reach up into the air while my hands spread across the mattress, searching for something to grab on to. Anything that will keep me grounded to this earth. I twist the bedding in my fingers as his free hand lifts my shirt, baring my breasts to his waiting mouth. He covers one nipple and flicks the tip, sending naughty little pin pricks to the center of my excitement.

“So good!” I gasp.

My head moves from side to side, frantically trying to hold onto this feeling. It’s overwhelming and unique, just like the man who’s giving it to me. His fingers hook delectably inside me, digging harshly into that effervescing spot deep within. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, his thumb presses in tight circles over my clit as his teeth bite down on my nipple.

Gone. Set off into orbit. Pleasure shoots through my core, light explodes behind my eyes, and the sound of thunder pounds in my ears. I scream his name as my body quakes and convulses in a blinding orgasm.

Chase continues plucking every one of my erogenous zones until there’s nothing left but the automatic shake and twitch of well used muscles.

He kisses me with languid slow sweeps of his tongue and lips, his fingers still lodged deep within me, almost as if he doesn’t want to leave my heat. I sigh as he gently pulls his hand from my panties. His eyes are so dark it’s like looking into a black hole. With his azure orbs laser focused on me, he brings his fingers to his mouth and leisurely licks them clean of my essence. A low purr resonates through my chest and out my lips. His eyebrow lifts into a perfect point as his tongue swirls around the long digits.

My eyes widen and grow heavy with lust as my hips set up a slow dance, waiting patiently for more of what I know he can offer.

“You taste so good, Baby. I can’t wait to have you. Here, taste.” He kisses me deeply. I can taste myself on his tongue and there’s something incredibly erotic and forbidden about it. Everything about Chase seems erotic and forbidden. When we’re both breathless he leans over me, his weight held up by the strong muscles in his forearms. I stretch, pointing my toes and reaching above my head until I feel relaxed and sated.

“Good?” he asks. His sly grin and cocky tone only make me want to jump him.

Then it dawns on me that he didn’t get anything in return. He goes to pull away but I reach out and grasp the obvious erection tenting his boxer briefs. Holy shit he’s big. This is going to be so good. I lick my lips in barely contained anticipation and mentally prepare to be blown away. He stills my hand.

Confusion and hurt play havoc with my frayed emotions. “What about you?” My voice sounds almost like a child’s.

“That was for you, Baby. When you’re better, I
will
fuck you good and hard. That’s when I will make you mine. Until then, we wait.” His words sound brutally honest and shocking said aloud. I don’t think any of his many business cohorts would believe this well put together man had the sexual predilections of a porn star and mouth to go with it.

I nod, somewhat relieved. I want to please him, but my head is pounding, screaming for relief. I cringe and tremble as last night’s hell comes back to me in bright Technicolor. Unfortunately, even the big “O” can’t take away those memories. Just one more thing to add to my long list of issues.

I shake it off, and Chase cringes but kisses me before getting out of bed. He picks up the medicine bottle, opens it and shakes out a couple pills. “You’re in pain. I can see it all over your gorgeous face.”  He hands the small, white, oval pills to me.
Chase thinks I’m gorgeous.
The thought has me feeling shy and womanly.

“Thank you. Thank you for…everything.” I look away, avoiding his gaze. I don’t want him to see how vulnerable I am right now. Battered, sleep deprived, chock full of drugs and sated from the orgasm he just gave me. All of those things on top of knowing Chase thinks I’m gorgeous…it’s too much.

“Gillian, stop running from me. From this, whatever it is.” He gestures between us.

He waits for me to say something. I don’t think he’s going to move until I respond. I take a deep breath, adjust my shoulders and look deep into his eyes. “I’ll try.” It’s the best I can do. Allowing a man inside of my body is one thing, inside of my mind and heart, is something I promised I’d never do again. He must realize it’s what I can offer right now because he looks down briefly, tightens his jaw and nods. Chase leaves me sated and medicated on the rumpled sheets as he heads into the bathroom and starts the shower.

My cell phone rings somewhere across the room. The sound is like a jackhammer being inserted straight into my skull. I make the stupid mistake of jumping up to get it. The concussion sways me, and I almost tumble to the floor. I steady myself against the dresser and glance toward the bathroom to make sure Chase didn’t see me almost lose it again. The last thing I need is another man who thinks he can take care of me. Even if Chase helped me last night, I’ll be damned if I become this weak little victim in his eyes.

I find my phone on top of my clothes nestled in the sitting chair by the large window. In an unladylike fashion, I drop into the cushy arm chair and pull it to my ear.

“Hello,” my voice croaks, still raspy from last night.

“Gigi, thank God! I was starting to worry about you.” The sound of my best friend, Phillip’s, voice calms me. A huge smile splits my face, then I cringe at the tight skin pulling at my swollen cheek. I lean back in the chair to get comfortable as I spill my guts, glad that it’s him and not one of the girls.

“I had a rough night.” Like ripping off a Band-Aid, I figure it’s easier to just spit it out quick and painless. “Phil, I was mugged and landed in the hospital.” Tears pool as I hear him gasp. A few tears build, but I press my little fingers into the edges of my eyes to staunch the flow.

“Gigi, are you okay? Are you still in the hospital?” His voice is thick and gritty. “Do you need me to fly out and come get you?” Oh, how I love this man. He’s one of the good guys. A lightness fills me. I’m so very thankful.

“No, no, I’m fine. Really. I’m being taken care of.”
By Chase,
my mind adds wickedly, and I smile. “It was scary though. He held me at gunpoint.” A shiver spirals down my spine, and I stiffen it. This will
not
break me. I’ve been through worse.