Body, Ink, and Soul (13 page)

''Tristan...'' His name sounded like a curse coming out of his mouth. ''It’s because of him, isn't it?'' He sounded hurt but I didn’t want him to.

''What I feel now, about you, what we have now. I never... I don't regret this at all, I want more, I loved it but let me figure this out, okay?''

''It’s you I want, Nix. I want to be the one you want and need too.'' He kissed my lips slowly, leaving me breathless with hunger. ''I'm yours already. Take me.''

I'm yours, too.
He wiped away the tears which had started rolling down my cheeks. I didn't know why I was so emotional. Maybe because as much as I wished I could have stayed away from Levi, I realized it was a lost cause. Or maybe because as much as I liked Tristan, he didn't stand a chance against the man who stood in front of me now.

''Kiss me... I want you to....'' He didn't give me the chance to finish the sentence, before his lips devoured mine. I pulled him closer to me, digging my nails into the skin at his waist. He moaned into my mouth, and I hoped I hadn't hurt him. All I wanted was to reach my bedroom, I wanted him, right now.

It was the first morning of living under the same roof and already we had broken all the rules. We were half dressed, making out on the kitchen counter. Moans and groans. Kisses and gentle bites.

His kisses calmed, he was trying to regain control. ''We need to eat, Rock Star.'' He pointed at the mountain of food on the table. ''We don't want to waste all that good food, do we?''

I shook my head breathlessly, and he helped me down from the counter. His hand landed on my behind, and I liked the heat of his palm against me. I picked up my top from the floor and put it back on, already missing the feel of his skin against mine. I was sad that our kissing session had ended so abruptly.

''Coffee?'' he offered.

''Yeah.'' I took the coffee cup from his outstretched hand. It was still warm and the smell was mouth-watering. Our eyes met and we both hesitated. I just wanted to kiss him again, but we had to stop this crazy lust between us. For now at least.

I sat at the wooden table and he placed a plate in front of me. It looked delicious, bacon with eggs and French toast. What else could I ask for? I mused about desiring an orange juice.

''Here, your orange juice. I pressed the oranges myself.''

He was no longer the guy I had to stay away from, he was an angel, he truly was and I needed him. The realization of how much I needed him came as a shock.

''You did all of this for me?''

''Yes, I did and I’ll do it every morning, unless you tell me to stop.'' He covered my hand, which was resting on the table, with his, and it eased the loneliness I felt at being physically apart from him. ''It might take you few days to make up your mind, but you’ll eventually see beyond the tattoos. I'm really a nice guy.''

''I know you are, Levi. I truly do.''

He smiled and it was worth a million bucks. He was beautiful, so beautiful that my heart skipped a beat. I was definitely falling for him. Hard and fast.

''Thank you for the breakfast, can we eat now?''

He nodded and we ate silently. We were sitting three feet apart and I could still feel the heat between us. This wasn't good, I needed to take things slowly, couldn’t let my desire overwhelm my common sense. Our feet were constantly touching and rubbing under the table and I couldn’t help but giggle nervously.

Breakfast was delicious and the thought of getting to eat like this every morning pleased me immensely. As soon as he was done, he angled his chair and slowly lifted my feet up onto his thigh, massaging them and my calves. He kept his amazing green eyes focused on mine, and his gentle touch was arousing me to a crazy level. His hands on my skin had already had that effect on me, and I reminded myself sternly that I needed to slow things down.

I finished the orange juice at last. He lowered my feet back to the floor and stood up, putting our plates in the sink, while I watched him surreptitiously. The colored drawings marked on his skin were impressive, and eyeing the designs, I realized there was nothing morbid or sinister about any of them. No skulls, no demons, every tattoo was pure and beautiful and it showed another side of him, one I hadn’t expected.

It was a side I was ready to get to know.

T
he warm water in the shower was running from my hair down my shoulders and over my body. I stood under the showerhead, remembering Levi’s kisses and what he’d said to me.
'I'm yours already. Take me.'
I feared him so badly before, everything he was, the tattoos, his job. I thought he was a typical bad boy. Bekka and Val had tried to tell me numerous time that I was wrong, but I’d never listened to them. When Val left, I started seeing him for who he truly was. Levi had a tough look about him, but his heart and personality were the complete opposite. He had made sure I was doing fine when Val left, more than once. All this time, I’d tried to ignore it, but now that I was finally seeing it, I wanted to be his and I wanted him to be mine. Talking to Tristan was a top priority, before I could move forward with Levi. I had to tell Tristan I wasn't looking for more and I wanted to end whatever we had. I had been wrong about Levi, so terribly wrong. Despite my desire to take things slowly, all I kept wishing was for him to join me in the shower, I wanted to continue what we’d started. Now I could admit to myself, I’d always known I couldn’t trust myself around him. As much as I’d tried to deny it I had always been attracted to him, right from the first time we met. After that kiss this morning, there would be no turning back. Levi was the one I wanted.

The idea of explaining the situation to Tristan was going to be awkward, he was everything I’d been taught to love by Mom. He seemed to be a really nice guy, and he was gorgeous, but my whole body ached for Levi. Everything had changed drastically in the last hour or so, and I could barely get through two seconds without thinking about him again. It was strange, but now it was clear in my head and I was comfortable with my decision.

I got dressed in a hurry as I wanted to see Levi again. His bedroom was next to mine and I couldn't hear any sound coming from inside, which left me wondering if maybe he was gone. I was silently praying he wasn't. I walked out of my room wearing a pair of cut-off denim shorts, which showed off my ink, and a black tank top. My hair was still wet and I wore no makeup.

''Levi?'' I called. The house remained silent, and I didn’t hear a sound coming out of his room.

I walked through to the kitchen, finding it empty and lastly checked the living room. Levi had dozed off on the couch, lying comfortably on his side, one arm tucked under his head. I leaned against the wall and quietly watched him for a few minutes. He looked so peaceful and I hesitated, but made the decision to join him. Living with him was going to be a challenge, while I didn’t want things to move too fast between us, I wanted to get to know him more. And I just couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be on the couch beside him.

I settled onto the couch, lying next to him and his arm slipped around my waist, holding me close. He didn't say a word, didn't even open his eyes, he just held me close and breathed deeply against my hair. I closed my eyes, resting my cheek against his chest and dozed off.

I hadn't felt this great in years, Levi was bringing something amazingly good into my life. I didn't know exactly what this was between us, but I knew I would figure it out in time.

I woke up a little over an hour later, still encircled by his arm. His breathing was deep and even, and I moved out of his embrace as slowly as I could so I wouldn’t wake him. I tiptoed into my room, sitting on the bed and grabbing my guitar. Feeling exceptionally relaxed and mellow, I started humming and my fingers moved instinctively over the guitar strings. Humming gradually morphed into words and my fingers created a peaceful melody on the guitar. Playing the instrument came naturally to me and so did singing. I didn't have to think about it, it was as easy as breathing and something I’d loved since childhood.

''Rock Star?'' I heard Levi’s voice, groggy from sleep.

I opened my eyes and a smile raised my lips. He was standing by the bed, his arms crossed. ''Hey!'', I greeted him huskily.

''You really can sing, you know that? Your voice is beautiful and you play guitar well.''

''I know... it's my thing, you know... yours is tattooing people... this is mine.''

''Why don't you have an album or play in town? You’re so talented, you could be the lead singer of a band or even go solo.''

''Levi, I know all that... but it’s not how I want to live my life.''

''Such a waste.'' He looked down at me and saw my expression, then ran a hand through his bed hair. ''I don't mean to upset you, but you’re really great. You really should exploit your talents. I know you don't want to right now, but if you ever change your mind, let me know. I know a few guys who could help.''

Again, he was offering me help, proving once again, he was always here for me. ''Thank you, Levi.''

''My name has never sounded better coming than when it comes out of your lips. It's very hot and so very distracting.'' Our eyes connected, and I wanted him to join me on the bed, had a fervent need to be closer to him. With Levi around, I decided, I couldn't think straight. He glanced at his watch. ''I've got to go to the shop. I have appointments to get ready for.''

''Oh.'' I couldn't hide my disappointment. ''I’ll see you tonight, I guess.”

''You can come with me if you want. Kyle will be there, too.''

‘‘Hmm... yeah... yeah I would love to. Give me few minutes to get ready.'' This was the first step towards getting to know him better. What better way could there be, than spending time with him in his own environment?

''Nix...'' He surprised me by using my name, I couldn't recall him doing it before. ''You look perfect like this. Don't change a thing.'' He took the guitar from my hand and placed it back on the stand, before he held his hand out to me in a silent offering, his eyes intent on mine. Would I take his hand this time?

I placed my hand into his and he smiled as we headed to the tattoo studio. I’d noticed more than once how he always wanted me to hold his hand. It seemed to be something important to him, something he enjoyed, or maybe it made him feel more secure.

His car was parked out front. He opened the passenger door and waited for me to settle in the seat before he closed it. He really was proving to be a gentleman.

''What was the first tattoo you got?'' I asked him as we drove down the street. He’d probably answered that question hundreds of times before, but I was intently curious about the answer.

''My first one... ‘No Regret’ on my chest. It marked the beginning of the new path I was ready to take in my life. As you know, I'm a lawyer, too. My father is one of the best lawyers in the state of Washington and I was always pushed in that direction. Following in my dad’s footstep seemed to be the way to go, but in my heart, I was an artist. I was into writing, drawing, you know... I had been working with Dad for two years when I decided to quit. I wasn't happy and he knew it. That day, I got my first tattoo. I had started tattooing with Kyle on the weekends. He’s like my brother, he taught me everything he knew.''

''How did your father react?''

''He wasn't happy but to be honest, I didn't expect him to be either. A few weeks after I started tattooing, Kyle and I opened our own shop and the business never stopped. Months ago, I moved to the East Coast, since I wanted to open a shop over there. I worked with very a talented artist and learned a lot. In the end, I decided it wouldn't be worth it. The economy isn’t really doing well right now. So I came back and found you standing behind the bar.''

I smiled. ''Yeah, I remember that day. You asked for a smile.''

''It wasn't the first time I saw you. I’d seen you a couple of times before, but I’d never talked to you before that night.'' He squeezed my hand.

''You irritated me as much as you fascinated me.'' It was the truth - that’s exactly how I’d felt about him. His smile from that first night still lingered in my mind.

''I still do.'' He laughed. ''You’ll get used to me, Rock Star.''

''I guess I will.'' I watched him as he concentrated on the traffic, admiring how handsome he was.

''Are you thinking of getting more ink done?'', Levi questioned when we stopped at a set of traffic lights.

I laughed out loud. ''Are you serious? Hell, no.''

''Why not?'' he asked, his tone serious.

I swallowed back the laughter, worried I might have offended him. ''My mom would kill me. She
will
kill me if she ever finds out about this one.'' I brushed my fingers across the tiny star.

''It’s your body, your life. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. So let me ask you again, are you thinking about having another tattoo?''

''Not, right now. The idea hasn't crossed my mind... yet.''

''It will.'' He kissed the top of my hand. ''It’s only a matter of time. Tattoos are addictive.''

He smiled again, and I sat quietly, considering what he’d said about the tattoo thing. I wasn't sure he was right about tattoos being addictive. While I hadn’t thought about getting another one, I wondered if I could work up the courage to do it a second time, knowing how Mom would react if she discovered them. No doubt she would freak out, but Levi was right. It was my body. Time would tell, but my little star made me feel more confident somehow. It was a new addition that I loved, and I thought it was giving me a little edge, making me feel sexy.

We drove in silence until we got at the shop. He released my hand, much to my disappointment, got out of the car and ran to my side to open my door. As soon as I was out the car, his hand reached for mine again and he hugged me tightly.

''I know you have things going on... just try to enjoy the day, okay?'' he demanded.

I knew what he was alluding to, without him saying the name. ''I’ll talk to him tonight, Levi... he isn't what I want, I know that now. '' His eyes connected with mine, as thought he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not, but I was certain. My body and soul needed him. It scared me to a certain extent, because it was so new and my feelings towards him had changed so drastically. Yet I knew Levi wanted to take care of me and I liked that about him. He was real and didn’t pretend to be someone else.