Body & Soul (Ghost and the Goth Novels) (13 page)

I didn’t miss the indictment and jealousy all jammed in that one word.

“Did you try to claim Will?” I asked tightly.

She ignored me. “But no one ever said that the living chick was a talker like he is.” I could hear the frown in her voice as she tried to match pieces of gossip with the facts as she knew them. “Of course, nobody said you’d look like this either. All weird and…glowy in the middle.” Her tone held equal parts distaste and fascination.

Glowy? Did I look different to her, not like other living people? Whatever. I dismissed her words, though I recognized on some level that what she was saying was important somehow. But I wasn’t about to be distracted, not now.

I closed the distance between us, getting in her face, or where I imagined it would be. “Did you try to claim Will?” I bit each word off. A dim part of my mind, probably the part assigned to reason and logic, pointed out that if she had claimed him, she wouldn’t be here. But the majority of me just didn’t care.

She gave an exasperated sigh, which I felt against my cheek. “Yeah, but whatever. Like I said, it didn’t work.”

If I’d thought about it, I would have realized that keeping my mouth shut was the better option, but I was beyond that. A horrible surge of fear and fury overtook me. It didn’t matter that her attempt had failed. It might have worked. And then she, this girl who I didn’t even know, would have been linked to Will, taking my place. God only knew whether she would have protected him or helped him or just left him to flounder. Frankly, she seemed more concerned with herself than with anyone else. He needed someone to look out for him, not take advantage. And what about me? Would he have just left me behind? I was already alone, stuck in this body and not able to help him like I could before. If it had worked, if she had claimed him, would he have even thought twice? I didn’t know what she looked like, but she didn’t
sound
stepsister ugly.

And what if she tried again with him…and it worked? Then what? I would be replaced, and Will wouldn’t look to me for help anymore, wouldn’t look to me for anything. Wouldn’t smile at me, wouldn’t hold my hand. I’d be worse than useless to him; I might as well not exist.

A yawning chasm opened inside me, and this primal sense of possessiveness welled up, spilling over until I could hear the blood rushing past my ears, pulsing with my racing heartbeat, something I’d never experienced before. Not with Chris, not with anyone.

I reached into the haze, feeling my hand sink in and connect with what felt like a shoulder. Well, that was one question answered. Evidently, ghosts had physicality around me, just as they did around Will. I shoved the girl back a step. “Will is mine,” I said fiercely. “Got it? So leave him the hell alone.”

And that’s when the cold breeze, the one I’d been half expecting only moments ago, swept through the room, blowing my hair back and freezing her in place, like oil trapped in ice. I’m not sure which of us was more shocked. Especially because I couldn’t see her expression.

Holy shit.
Somehow, I was still Will’s spirit guide. I didn’t show up at his side at my time of death anymore, but it seemed my other capabilities were present and accounted for.

My first reaction was an internal leap of joy. I still had a purpose, and I didn’t have to be all self-sacrificing and try to convince Will to find a new spirit guide—
not
this chick—so he could be safe.

But that emotion wore off quickly, because, as usual, without Will actually present, my spirit-guide defense capabilities were limited both in duration and strength.

The blurry spot in front of me wavered and shimmered. Then she sucked in an audible breath. “You froze me!” She sounded horrified.

Get out, Alona. Get out now.
My overdeveloped sense of self-preservation, slightly rusty from not having been used much in the last month or so, kicked in with a vengeance.

I started to back up toward the door, my heart pounding. I’d blown it. She had had no idea who I was, and I’d just handed it to her. If she put the pieces together, all the consequences I’d ducked would be landing solidly back on my head. And now she was pissed, on top of it.

She followed me. “Will Killian’s spirit guide should be the only one with that power,” she said suspiciously, and I wished desperately that I could see her face. “But she’s gone. Unless she’s not.”

The ghost lunged forward suddenly, her outstretched arms flashing in the mist, and I stumbled out of her way, but my left foot tangled in the corner of Misty’s quilt. I felt my balance shift, and I knew I was going down.

My backside hit the ground with a teeth-jarring impact, and she was right there, standing over me. Her hand locked on to my arm, and in that second, I could see her clearly. Long red hair hung over her shoulder, a pink bikini top showed through her cutoff Señor Frog’s T-shirt. A spring-break bunny. One who should have been wearing a tankini or one-piece. Much more flattering to her modest, at best, chest.

Holy crap. This was Spring Break Girl. She was exactly as Will had described her.

Her brown eyes widened, and I wondered if she could see me, too. Not Ally. Me, Alona.

“You didn’t disappear,” she accused. “You just found a better deal.”

I weighed my options. Continue lying, or fall back on the bravado that had served me plenty well in the past? She wanted something; that much was clear. And, as I knew all too well, people who wanted something, anything, were vulnerable to machinations that made them believe they might actually get it.

So, easy choice. Time to change it up. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but…well, as much of the truth as would help me.

I straightened up as best I could, ignoring the nervous fluttering of the heart in my borrowed body. Mind over matter. “Yeah, I did,” I said simply, calmly, as if this were no different than someone confronting me in the hall at school on something I’d reportedly said. Public, teary outbursts had been rare, but still something I’d grown to expect, on occasion. The person with the cooler head—me—always won. So that was it—I just had to stay calm.

I pried at her fingers on my arm. “You mind?”

She released me, ending my ability to see her clearly, and sank to the floor next to me, or at least, that’s what it looked like. The blurry space she occupied hovered above the floor in the vague shape of a person. “How did you do it?” she asked.

I ignored her. “Who are you?”

“Erin,” she said impatiently. “Did you kill someone?”

My mouth fell open. “What?”

“I thought about that. Like, maybe I could slip in as the other spirit was leaving, but since the only people we might actually be able to hurt would be ghost-talkers who would see us coming…” She heaved a disappointed sigh, as if she were talking about not being able to get concert tickets instead of, you know, murdering someone.

“No, I didn’t kill anyone!” I struggled to my feet. “What is wrong with you?” I demanded. So much for staying calm.

She rose with me, and I caught a glimpse of flashing dark eyes. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with any of us? We were cut off before our prime! Right before things started getting good. I want to feel the wind on my skin again. I want to go swimming in the ocean.”

“Yeah, because there’s a lot of that happening in
Illinois
,” I muttered.

She ignored me. “I want that first kiss with a new guy again. I want to dance and feel the music pulsing in my chest. I want to be alive and to know it, you know?” She sounded wistful.

I might have felt sorry for her except for the fact that she was obviously crazy with a capital
K
, and—unless I missed my guess—mad powerful. You couldn’t go around haunting people (for reasons I was still unclear about) and thinking about killing others without a serious store of energy to draw upon. Negative activities and thoughts like that would have caused a major drain and wiped out most spirits in the process, but not her, obviously.

“I want to be alive…like you,” she added, her voice taking on a darker edge.

This girl is going to kill me to get what she wants.
It couldn’t have been clearer than if she’d said it out loud. “We need Will. He has to be here,” I said, trying to sound as though I didn’t care, even though I could feel myself trembling. It was a stall tactic, yeah, but I didn’t want to be alone in this anymore. “There’s this whole ceremony and everything.…”

“He can’t do anything,” she said dismissively. “And even if he could, he’s a total straight-edge, believe it or not.” She snorted. “He knew about you and didn’t even tell me.” She sounded hurt.

I clamped down on the panic threatening to overtake me, and made another effort to sound reasonable. “Seriously, Will is the only one who can—”

“No, you’re going to show me how.” She grasped my arm, tighter than before. It hurt, and I flinched away from her. Which was a mistake. Something inside me shifted, and I felt loose in my own skin—well, my borrowed skin.

Erin inhaled sharply. I could see her again, thanks to her grip on me, so it was not hard to follow her gaze and figure out what she was looking at. She was staring at her hand on my forearm, her eyes almost buggy with surprise.

And with good cause. Her hand was sinking into my—no, Lily’s—flesh.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
A cold stab of fear shot through me. I knew where this was going.

I jerked back from her, but all that did was pull her with me, her hand now embedded in Lily’s arm. Just as mine had once been.

I reached up with my free hand and shoved her shoulder as the expression on her face changed from surprise to glowing delight. “You don’t understand,” I said through gritted teeth, struggling to put distance between us. “It’s a circuit. We need each other. I can’t survive without her, and she can’t live without me.” I vividly remembered Lily’s blue face and her gasping for air when the Order had tried to separate us. It had been one of the most horrible things I’d ever seen.

“So? Now she won’t be able to live without
me
,” Erin said, leaning into me, her jaw jutting out stubbornly.

It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Like swapping out one battery for another? Either way, I didn’t want to find out like
this
.

I tugged at her arm, trying to pull her out, but she wouldn’t budge, and I could feel myself slipping aside. No, being shoved aside.

My breath caught in panic, but I shook my head. No freaking way was I giving up this easily.

“Get off of me,” I said, tugging at her arm even harder.

But Erin just laughed. “You’ve had your turn.”

Bitch.

Since I couldn’t pull her away, I did my best to keep her from moving closer. If I refused to retreat, she couldn’t take over, right? I tried to calm my thoughts and focus on my breathing, imagining the seamless bond holding Lily and me together. Her hands were my hands, her arms were my arms, her lungs were my—

There was a sudden lurch, and my vision—our vision?—skewed, went blurry.

Not like this, please, I begged whoever might be listening.

“Stop,” I panted, out of breath from the struggle. And only then did I realize I could feel my chest moving separately within Lily’s. We were coming apart.

“Oh, my God!” Misty stood in the doorway, her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with horror. “Are you okay?”

Of course she couldn’t see Erin; only my…Lily’s body on the floor, jerking back and forth as the two of us fought for control. I tried to answer, to tell her to call for help, but no words would come out.

No, please!

Erin grimaced and forced herself forward, leaning down, and there was an odd slipping feeling followed by a claustrophobic moment of blackness.

And then I was standing over Lily’s body on the ground with Misty kneeling next to her, shouting for Leanne. Erin was nowhere in sight.

A horrible chill rushed over me, my whole body quaking with it, and I couldn’t breathe. I had just enough time to look down and see a transparent version of myself in the white shirt and red gym shorts I’d wondered if I’d ever see again. Then darkness flickered at the edges of my vision before swelling up to consume everything in sight. And I was gone.

T
he outside of Misty’s house looked the same as it had an hour before. The yard and plants thriving almost to the point of being overgrown, Misty’s Jeep in the driveway, the house itself quiet and still.

For whatever reason, the tightness in my chest eased slightly at the sight, which was dumb because it wasn’t like there would be flames shooting through the roof or anything as a sign of a problem. Any trouble here was going to be on the inside. Deep on the inside.

I pulled into the driveway and parked. If Misty’s parents wanted to question me about being here, Alona’s presence would be enough of an excuse. I was her ride home, or I could be, in theory.

I left the car and jogged to the front door to knock. Standing there on the porch, waiting, waiting, and waiting for someone to answer, I could feel the tension creeping into my shoulders and up my neck as each precious second ticked away.

Misty yanked open the door just as I raised my hand to knock again.

She looked startled and then frowned. “It’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s me. Ally here?” I started forward without waiting for an answer, as though I were sure she was going to let me in.

And she did, stepping out of the way and gesturing down the hall. “Kitchen,” she said, her expression still troubled. She drew in a breath like she was about to say more, but then she just shook her head.

I wanted to ask her about it, could almost feel her wanting to say something else, but I couldn’t ignore the sense of urgency propelling me forward.

“Thanks.” I hurried past her, then stopped at the sound of a familiar voice laughing and talking. Ally’s voice.

She was okay. I let out a slow breath of relief. Maybe Erin hadn’t even been here. If she’d managed to figure out who and what Ally was, there was no way she could have forced her way into Lily’s body and recovered so quickly. Even as strong as Alona was, it had taken her hours just to be able to speak.

I started forward once more, feeling Misty’s frown at my back.

The kitchen was oversized with a huge eat-in area and a big granite island in the middle of it. Sitting at stools behind it, their feet dangling off the rungs, and giggling over something, Ally and Leanne Whitaker had their heads together over a bowl of what appeared to be ice cream with chunks of cookie dough on top.

I stopped again, startled. The last time I’d checked, Alona hadn’t been Leanne’s biggest fan.

A whisper came from behind me, and I turned, almost involuntarily, to see Misty a step or two behind me, frowning at the two of them.

“Oh, my God.” Leanne’s sneering voice was unmistakable. “What are
you
doing here?” she demanded, and I turned in time to see her drop her spoon into the bowl with a gooey clank.

Ally looked up from the bowl, and a variety of unreadable expressions passed over her face when she saw me. “He’s here for me,” she said simply. “Right?”

I nodded slowly. She didn’t
seem
angry anymore. “I’m her ride home,” I said.

“Except I’m not ready to go yet,” Ally said, looking away from me and scooping up another bite of ice cream. “You can leave, and I’ll find my own way home.”

I bristled at the arrogance in her tone. All right, so she was definitely still angry. Fair enough, so was I. And clearly she was fine, so I didn’t need to stick around. “Whatever.” I turned and started back toward the hall.

“Nice,” Leanne said, presumably to Ally, with an all-too-familiar cackle, a sound that sent me back to my most miserable days of high school.

Misty, who’d been standing in the doorway behind me, waited until I passed and then followed me out.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal anything,” I said over my shoulder, not bothering to hide the disgust in my voice.

She made an exasperated noise. “It’s not that,” she said.

“Yeah, right.” I kept going.

“Hey.” She caught my sleeve, and I turned, surprised.

Misty glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the kitchen before facing me with a worried expression. “Something happened,” she whispered quickly. “She’s pretending everything’s fine, but it was like a seizure or something.”

I froze. “What do you mean?”

She gave an impatient huff. “I mean, I left her upstairs to deal with, you know, the ghost.”

I nodded, waving my hand for her to hurry up and get to the point.

“And when I came back to see how it was going, she was on the floor,” she finished, her blue eyes wide in the dimly lit hall.

I relaxed a little. “Ally still has trouble with walking sometimes. The accident—”

“Dude, no. This wasn’t just a fall. She was…I don’t know, writhing on the floor or something.” Misty wrung her hands together, obviously upset.

I considered what it must have taken to convince her to come after me and try to tell me something was wrong, and dread seeped into my gut.

“Was she, uh, talking to someone before? I mean, someone you couldn’t see?”

She nodded rapidly. “She sent me out of the room, so I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I definitely heard her talking.”

So unless Alona had decided to put on a show for Misty’s benefit, there had been a ghost here. What were the odds it had been anyone other than Erin?

Not good.

And she’d done what? Attacked Alona? It wouldn’t have been impossible—Alona was definitely capable of provoking someone to the point of violence, particularly someone like Erin, who already seemed a little unhinged. But then where had Erin gone? Why wasn’t she still here pestering us? And why hadn’t Alona mentioned it?

Unless, of course, she couldn’t. I felt sick suddenly. If Erin had taken over Lily’s body and kicked Alona out, that would account for Misty’s seeing what had appeared to be a seizure—two spirits fighting over one body.

But if Erin had won that battle, how could she have recovered so quickly? That would have taken serious power, beyond what even Alona had demonstrated. Then again, I already knew Erin was no slouch in the power department—she could change her appearance on a whim. None of the other ghosts I’d ever met could do that, not even Mrs. Ruiz, who’d very thoroughly kicked my ass.

Plus, it occurred to me now, I had no idea how much Lily’s comatose state might have slowed Alona down when she took over. But Erin wouldn’t have had that issue.

So…was it possible she’d taken Lily’s body with fewer side effects? I definitely couldn’t rule it out. Ice coated my insides at the idea.

“All right, let’s keep this between us,” I said to Misty. “I’m going to try to get her to go home with me.” I had to know for sure who was occupying Lily’s body, and this was not the place for that conversation.

She nodded.

“She might not like that, but it’s important,” I added. The last thing I needed was Misty calling the police because I was trying to bodily remove someone from her home who did not want to go.

“Okay,” she said hesitantly.

I wished she sounded more confident, but I didn’t have time to convince her further.

I strode back into the kitchen with Misty at my heels.

Leanne groaned. “You again.”

I ignored her. “You know, I should just leave you here,” I said to Ally. “But I promised your mom I’d bring you home.” That was a big lie. Mrs. Turner wouldn’t even speak to me, let alone take promises from me. And Alona would know that and would call me on it…maybe.

I waited, holding my breath for her response.

But Ally didn’t even look up. “I said I’m fine.”

Which
could
mean it wasn’t Alona…or just that Alona was still mad at me and more concerned about what her friends thought than about what Mrs. Turner thought. It was in line with who she’d been when she was alive, the identity she might be attempting to reclaim in part now with her makeover.

I needed a litmus test, something that would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt who I was dealing with. The only test I could think of would draw on the secret of Alona’s messed-up home life and really piss her off, but I had to know.

“Come on, I’ll take you to get a burger on the way. And Sam was over last night. He left a couple beers in the fridge we could probably snag, if we stop by my house.” I kept my tone as light and normal-sounding as possible, which wasn’t very. Every word sounded clunky to my ears, like it screamed, “Lie!” But that didn’t matter because it wasn’t my reaction that I was looking for.

The real Alona would have glared at me with her lip curling in disgust at the suggestion. But this one…she perked up and looked at me with interest for the first time. “Beer?”

My heart sank. Erin. It had to be. No way was that Alona, not with her alcoholic mother. That was one thing Alona had never compromised on, no matter who was watching or listening. She did not drink.

But dead party girl Erin (her Señor Frog’s T-shirt was a big clue) wouldn’t have known that. And a beer probably did sound good to her after so many months or years of (dead) sobriety.

So, if Erin was occupying Lily’s body, where was Alona? Gone for good? I swallowed hard, pushing that thought away. I had to find out what had happened.

“Dude, why are you still here?” Leanne asked with a huff. “She said no.”

“Leanne,” Misty murmured from behind me. “Stay out of it.”

But it was too late. The damage was done. “No, thanks, I’m good here.” Erin returned her attention to the ice cream.

Panic surged in me, and I fought to keep my expression blank. The urge to cross the room and shake Erin for answers was overwhelming. But I had to keep calm. Freaking out on her was not an option, nor was leaving her here. She might take off for parts unknown, and then I’d never know what had happened.

Think, think.
I forced myself to look at things from Erin’s perspective. She had to be worried about people figuring out she wasn’t who she claimed to be, much as Alona had been. It was probably the main reason she didn’t want to leave with me. I could use that. “Okay, then call your mom and make sure it’s cool if you stay,” I said.

Erin shrugged and kept eating her ice cream. She knew that the more people who were involved, the greater the chance she’d mess up.

“What is he, your babysitter?” Leanne snorted.

“Fine, I’ll call her and tell her to come get you.” I pulled my phone out, and that got Erin’s attention. She glared at me.

“I’m just looking out for you.” I forced myself to project something resembling sincerity.

“All right. Let’s go.” She heaved a sigh and set her spoon down on the counter. “But a burger and beer first. You promised.” Easy to see where Erin’s priorities were. Not to mention, if she was at all worried about encountering Lily’s mom, making stops along the way would give her an opportunity to slip away from me before I could get her home.

She slipped down off the stool to the floor, where she swayed unsteadily, like the room was moving around her.

Out of habit, I lurched forward to catch her arm, expecting her to throw herself backward to avoid my help or glare at me.

But instead, she placed her arm through mine, leaning on me for balance, as if that was what we always did. Which, of course, would be what she’d have thought, based on what she’d seen yesterday at Malachi’s.

She waved at Leanne, who smiled with that hint of a smirk I’d seen countless times before upon encountering her in the hallway.

“See ya,
chica
. Don’t forget what we talked about.” Leanne pointed her spoon at Ally, who nodded.

I was afraid to ask what that was about. Erin and Leanne conspiring—the very idea was nightmare-inducing.

I led her toward the door to the hall, where she shocked the hell out of me by letting go and launching herself at Misty for a hug. Misty looked equally startled by the gesture. She hadn’t even had time to unfold her arms, and they were now pinned in between the two of them.

“Just know that Alona is in a better place, okay?” she said, her words muffled against the taller girl’s shoulder.

I froze. Had the light come for Alona when Erin had evicted her? Was that what she was saying? Or was this more of her playing the role of Ally, saying what she thought Ally the ghost-talker would say?

Misty looked at me over the top of Ally’s head, her face stunned and pale, albeit for different reasons. She nodded. “Yeah, okay,” she said, and cleared her throat.

Ally pulled back, reaching for my arm before I could offer it. Playing a role in this parody made me feel ill, but I had no choice but to follow through until I could get her out of here.

I led her down the hall to the front door and out onto the porch, where she carefully made her way down the steps, clutching my arm with one hand and the railing with the other. She was definitely not moving as smoothly as Alona had been, so there were side effects of her taking over this body.

“I’m starving,” she announced, when we reached the bottom. “Hurry up.”

“You were just eating ice cream,” I said tightly. With raw cookie dough on top, seemingly without a care in the world about fat grams or any of the other stuff Alona usually complained about. That should have been my first clue, I realized. Not to mention the fact she’d been sharing a bowl without freaking out about Leanne’s germs.