BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (14 page)

Mr. Van-Marren was everyone's boss. He was chief executive of the bank and Janna, was his secretary.

"He is really, really starting to piss me off!"

"I understand, but ... he requested you, you need to meet with him, he's waiting in your lobby office."

Too angry to speak any further with her, Vivian turned, switching her computer to standby. Stood; went to her file cabinet, removed the file that kept his up to date transactions with his accounts. He was an investor with a major pharmaceutical company, as well an investor with a hospital equipment supplier and of course they handled all of his business there, he was for all intents and purposes, very wealthy.

Walking out of her office with his documents in hand, she ignored Janna's, "Sorry." called out to her as she made quick, determined steps for the elevator. On the way down, she felt her heart pounding and her temples throbbing so fed up with him. Never had she imagined that it would be this difficult to get him out of her life. Trying to control her temper, her breathing, her manner, she walked through the bank and straight for the office where, sure enough, he stood waiting, watching for her. Wasting no time she walked in, closed the door, and went directly behind the desk, taking her seat, she refused to look up at him until she was in position and ready. Finally, she looked up at him. He was sitting across the desk, gazing at her.

"Once more, here we are. Is this about your account?" She asked him calmly.

"You know that it's not."

She stared at him.

He gazed at her, waiting for her to say something more.

"You can't keep doing this. You cannot keep ... coming here, asking for me. Saying that its about your account, when you-..."

"I tried coming to your house, our home-..."

"That was not - our home-..."

"I helped you get it. It was ours and you-..."

"It's your wife's now."

"How could you have given that to her? When it was ours, yours-..."

"So you could continue to hold it over my head? Just show up and-..."

"Better there, than here! You leave me no choice! And I go through hell to find you again, and once more, you-..."

"Stop this! Will you stop!? Look at you! Will you look at yourself!? You don't - have to do this! You're an incredibly good looking man. You're successful. You can have anyone you want-..."

"I want you, I want you ... I - want - you! Please!"

Vivian stopped again staring at him. He was tearing up again, trying to stay under control. After all, from the lobby anyone could look in and see them. They could not hear their discussion, but they could see if they looked. She really felt sorry for him. Sorry for him because she had once loved him, loved him so much she had foregone everything she knew was right to hang onto something so wrong. She'd tried being mean to him, it hadn't worked, he'd come back still. So now, she would try and reason with him.

"Can't you ... see, that it's over? Can't you see that?" She asked gently, softly.

"You, you loved me! I know you loved me. How can you love someone as much as you loved me, as long as you loved me, and just ... stop ... just stop?"

"I didn't ... just - stop!" She spat out, tears gathering in her own eyes now. "I had to first, demean myself. Lower myself ... shame ... myself - first. I had to first, grow sick of looking at myself in the mirror, seeing what I'd become, first - before it dawned on me, that everything I've ever done to make myself a better person than what everyone said I would be, had all been flushed away, by being your mistress. Your quick stop, convenient shop, fuck ... that is what I became for you."

"I didn't mean, for things to turn out as they did ... don't you know that? I hadn't planned on us, being together. I didn't mean, to make you feel that way. I didn't mean, to bring you down. I'm in love with you, Vivian Cooke. Please, give me a chance to make it up to you." He was on the verge of begging on his knees, in his suit, in the bank, before any who looked to see it.

Vivian needed to distract him, "How did you get my number? How did you find out where I lived? Who gave you that information?"

"I can't tell you that. Did me little good. I went by there last night. The place is empty."

"I moved out ... again. What does that tell you?"

Laek Chan sat a moment gazing at her, not hearing her words, wanting to make love to her so badly his body ached with the need. He then thought about the white man, Jake.

"You can't be serious about this man, Jake ... you can't be. You hardly know him."

"Laek, I know ... that he loves me."

"I love you!"

"You weren't free to love me. You had no business loving me. We had no business loving each other. You need to focus on that, you need to talk to someone and ask advice and direction on how to move on. Because simply put, I am not, going to take you back. We ... you and I, will never, ever be again. It doesn't matter how much you show up here. Doesn't matter what you say, or how you say it. What we were in the past, none of that matters. It is - over. Please accept that."

"What if I kill myself!? Then what will you do?"

"Feel horrible. Maybe even cry. Then I'll get angry at you, call you a bunch of names, but ... time will pass. I'll get over it. I'll marry Jake, our plans un-interrupted will proceed, along with my life. Because life goes on. With you, alive or dead, life will go on."

"You - cold - hearted - bitch!"

Vivian sat a moment and stared at him, then stated softly, "I think, we've said enough, this is our-..."

"What if I took the gun in my jacket out ... pointed it at your beautiful face, pulled the trigger, blowing your brains out all over that back wall. Then put it in my mouth and did the same, then what?"

Vivian sat staring at him. Her heart pounding. Now ... she was scared. She stared at him, not realizing how wide her eyes had become. Her ears started popping and suddenly she thought about Jake. About that woman he was seeing, Doris. She wondered if what she was feeling right now, was the same as what he felt?

"No answer for that, huh? Quiet suddenly? Answer me? If I blew your brains out, would life ... just go on? Huh? Would it?"

Vivian gulped, wondering did he really have a gun. Her hands were on the desk in clear view, if she moved them to press the emergency security button, he would react. If he really had a gun, making that move would bring it out. Her head started throbbing. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. For once in her life, she was frightened beyond anything she had ever experienced, ever. Right then, she wanted Jake. She wanted him there, handling things. Because she was faced with something that brought it home to her, that no one is entirely in control of their lives, when they have to live them in relation to other people. Especially persons they've been intimate with. Her head was buzzing, she felt dizzy as if the bank and all her surroundings began to swirl about her.

"You know what? You're beautiful in your fear. You look so terrified. Look..." He lifted his suit jacket and sure enough, tucked into his waistband was a gun. He reached in, pulled it out gently. It was an automatic.

Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest, "Please..." Was all she could get her lips and the trapped air within her lungs to mutter, she was so frightened. Right then, her life rushed before her tearing eyes.

"You know ... what you're feeling right now ... is what I feel everyday. Not knowing what the next moment will bring for me ... since I ... lost you."

"Don't do this ... please ... don't do this." She beseeched gently, a tear rolling down her cheek and dropping off of her chin.

"Don't do what? I haven't done anything yet. We're just ... talking right?"

Vivian nodded, ever so slightly, her eyes on the gun.

"Do you know that right now, if I killed you, killed me ... for us, there would be no more stress. No more worries. No more pain. No more decisions. No struggles in life and wondering about tomorrow. And for everyone else, just like you said ... life would go on. Death, is not ... as bad as people make it out to be, not really. Do you know, that 250,000 Chinese commit suicide each year? Did you know that? We have the highest rate of all."

Vivian was fighting back sobbing, rapid tiny pants began shaking her from within as keening whimpers forced themselves up so that nothing she did could stop them.

"I asked you, did you know that?" He persisted.

"No - no ... I - I didn't know."

"Yeah ... so see, it cannot be, all that bad ... to die. You see when one dies, all things for that one, cease to be. Especially, all that causes one, to suffer and feel pain. If I were a fighter, to the Japanese I would be ready for
hara-kiri
now ... but as your lover, I would be committing,
shinjyuu.
Can you say that Vivian?
Come on, let me hear you say it?"

She started panting and sucking in choppy pockets of air, trying to breathe.

"Calm down, don't be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. Death, does not hurt; so many would not kill themselves if it were so. A man of dishonor, can regain a portion of his honor in taking his own life, or ... the lives of others, depending on the reason. To take the journey into death, is an act of bravery. Come on Vivian, be brave for me." He spoke to calm her.

Vivian was on the verge of screaming at the top of her lungs, but as doing so played in her mind, she also saw him pointing the gun at her and then pulling the trigger to shut her up. Screaming was not an option.

"Where's Vivian?" Dean asked Janna at her desk after going looking for Vivian in her office. He and Stephanie had spoken of having lunch with her, so they could, of course, dig into her personal affairs on what was happening with her and Jake.

"She's, unfortunately in the midst of a meeting with Dr. Chan." Janna informed him.

"That Dr. Laek Chan?"

"Yes." She answered.

"How long ago? Where? So I can go save her, I know she probably trying to get rid of his ass."

"Vivian's a big girl, she can take care of herself; she knows how to handle him just fine."

"Maybe so, but he gets on her nerves; she in the downstairs lobby office room?" He persisted.

Janna glanced up at him, sighed, "Yes, of course. You know, he does love her. I personally think she's better off with him, than the loser she's with now."

"Yeah right, if he was black, would he be a loser then? Your problem is, you don't appreciate her being with no white man, especially one like Jake. Big o'tall, stretch of a fine cowboy that he is, blonde hair, hazel blue eyes; wish you'd seen him first hm?" He taunted her.

"Thought you were looking for Vivian?" She retorted wishing to end their discussion.

"Em hm, thank you!" Dean did a snap of his fingers and a wave, turning from her going off to do just that. Find Vivian, as he knew she would want someone to step in and save her from the doctor. In the elevator on the way down, he shook his head thinking about Janna. He'd seen through her from the very beginning, acting like she was such a friend to Vivian. Maybe she was, he would give her that, but the moment Vivian brought the cowboy on the scene, all of Janna's true inner feelings had risen to the surface with subtle words and deeds to show her bigotry. He stepped from the elevator, it was close to lunch time. Started walking towards the office room where in the distance, he could see Vivian and Laek Chan talking. As he drew closer, he could of sworn that she was crying. Laek Chan's back was facing him so he could get up close to the glass and sure enough, he realized something was seriously wrong. She had to see him standing there but she wouldn't take her eyes off of Laek Chan. She was also shaking, giving off signs of erratic breathing as if hyperventilating.

Dean realized he had been right, she was very upset, he would need to step in and save her. Walking to the door, he did a courtesy rap, opened it, stuck his head in asking, "You okay Vivian?"

Laek looked at her, tucked the gun close to his chest and tapped above the trigger with his index finger. Vivian got the picture straight away and knew she had to get rid of Dean, otherwise their might be three people dead.

Trying to get control of herself, Vivian wiped her hands across her eyes. "Dean, it's okay, I'm a little upset, but its okay."

Laek then looked over his shoulder at Dean, "You heard the lady, this is a private meeting. Goodbye."

"Excuse me, sir, I'm talking to Vivian, not you."

"Dean please, not now. When I finish with business here, I'll meet you, in the green room."

Dean knew instantly, this wasn't just a tiff. She is was in serious trouble. Dean knew from bank, security training, that under unusual circumstances, certain code words were used to indicate an emergency.
White-accident, blue-bomb, red-fire, black-weather, Adam-missing child, orange-chemical, yellow-robbery and last, green-hostage. Dean knew from Vivian's demeanor and the fact that there was no "Green room" that this was quite probably a hostage situation.

Mindful of not alerting Laek Chan that he was aware of the situation, he said, "Okay, as long as you're all right." Closing the door behind him, he rushed for the nearest office and phone to alert security.