Authors: Thrity Umrigar
Rusi Bilimoria glanced at his watch for the fifth time. Damn that woman, he thought. It was 7:15
P.M.
already and still she was not ready. After nearly thirty years, Coomi’s inability to be ready on time still rankled him. For years, he had lied to her about the time they were to leave for an engagement, deliberately telling her they had to leave at least half an hour sooner. At first, it had worked. But over time, Coomi had either gotten wise to his little trick or had slowed down even more, so that even this didn’t work anymore.
For instance, he’d told her earlier this morning that they had to leave the house that evening at 6:30 sharp. He didn’t want to be the last to arrive at Mehernosh Kanga’s wedding. The memory of a month ago, when old Kaizad had greeted them at the entrance of Cama Baug and boomed, “Well, if it isn’t Mr. and Mrs. Latecomer! I was just wondering if you went to the wrong wedding or what.
Chalo,
you are at least in time for dinner” still made him hot with embarrassment when he thought about it. To make matters worse, Coomi had turned to Kaizad and said, “So sorry, Kaizu. But you know how bad traffic is these days. And poor Rusi works so hard at his business and gets home so late. And then he has to shower just to get all that paper dust off him.” And Rusi had marveled at his wife’s audacity, how she had neatly transferred the blame onto him, ignoring the fact that he had been home at five o’clock and had been pacing the apartment in his gray suit and dark blue tie for an hour while Coomi was still deciding what piece of jewelry to wear with her light pink chiffon sari.
Truth be told, he didn’t even want to go to the wedding. It would be the same crowd, the women fixing their sharp gazes on Coomi and him, trying to figure out if they were on speaking terms that night, the men breathing on him with their hot, drunken breath. He dreaded the hunt for a taxi on the busy Bombay streets, the inevitable traffic jam near Grant Road, where the beggar children would swarm around the cab like locusts. He hated walking down the long, dark alley to the reception hall, past the lepers and the legless beggars on skateboards. The older he got, the less Rusi wanted to leave his home, except to go to his factory. The Bombay of his youth—or at least the Bombay of his memory—had given way to a fetid, crowded, overpowering city that insulted his senses. Stepping into the city was like stepping into a dirty sock, sour, sweaty, and putrid.
And more and more the city—its noise, violence, pollution, filth— was invading his home. Every day, the newspaper landed like a missile at his door.
ELDERLY WOMAN PROFESSOR BLUDGEONED TO DEATH,
the headlines screamed,
CHIEF MINISTER IMPLICATED IN FINANCIAL SCANDAL, ARMED GUNMEN FLEE AFTER BANK ROBBERY.
Leaning on the railing of his third-floor apartment’s balcony, Rusi surveyed the chaotic scene around him. Bicyclists weaved in and out of heavy traffic. The street department had once again dug up the sidewalk, so that it lay open like a mouth. Many of the balconies of the adjacent buildings had clothes hanging out to dry, so that denim jeans and white
kurtas
fluttered like flags in the wind. Involuntarily, Rusi smiled to himself, remembering how the unseemly sight had never failed to exasperate his mother. Khorshed Bilimoria had always raved about how uncooth it was to hang clothes out to dry in public, for the world to see. “Uncivilized
junglees,”
his mother used to mutter. “These people have no class at all.” It had been one of Khorshed’s many peeves. If she’d caught some insolent youth peeing against a public building of
a paan-
chewing
passerby spitting a stream of sticky red betel juice onto the sidewalk, Khorshed had not been above going after them, armed with a lecture about cleanliness being next to Godliness. Then she’d come home, muttering about how the country had gone to hell after the British left.
Today, you can’t even yell at someone for pissing or spitting near your apartment building, Rusi thought. They’re just as likely to turn around and spit on
you.
Or worse, they’ll come back with their
goonda
friends and create God knows what mischief. Mamma was lucky to have died when she did, may her soul rest in peace.
Thinking about the city of his birth made Rusi tired. He wondered if he and Coomi should just stay home tonight and send the wedding gift tomorrow. But his conscience pinched at him. Mehernosh’s father, Jimmy, was an old friend and a good neighbor. Besides, Mehernosh was a childhood friend of Rusi’s daughter, Binny, and had practically lived at the Bilimoria apartment when the kids were young. He had to be there.
Rusi left the balcony and knocked on the bedroom door. “The first shift must be close to finishing dinner by now,” he said to the closed door. “At this rate, if we’re lucky, we’ll be in time for the third shift.”
“I would’ve been ready by now if you weren’t knocking on the door every two, three minutes,” came the shrill reply. “It’s like the All India Radio news bulletin every two minutes, telling me what time it is.”
You should leave, Rusi thought to himself in disgust as he headed back to the living room. If you were half a man, you would not say another word, just get a cab and go alone. Would serve her right, to sit at home one evening, all dressed up. Would cure her of her tardiness in one quick stroke.
But even while he thought about it, he knew he would not do it. For one thing, he knew that Coomi would never let him forget the incident, would bring it up and throw it in his face like a dirty plate every chance she got. Besides, all their neighbors and friends would be at the reception and he’d have to come up with some excuse to explain Coomi’s absence. And if he lied, told them she had the flu or something, they’d all know by noon the next day anyway. Because Coomi would be up early the next morning, visiting Dosamai, the old widow who lived on the second floor, telling her about her shock and fright at finding that Rusi had “abandoned” her, had left for no reason at all, without a warning or anything. Then the two women would speculate about Rusi’s strange behavior, not once mentioning the issue of Coomi’s tardiness, which was legendary among those who had ever made plans with Coomi. Dosamai had herself arrived at the same system of calculation that Rusi had, so that whenever the old woman wanted Coomi to escort her to her doctor’s office, she always told Coomi to be ready an hour ahead of the time they had to leave.
But Dosamai had decided years ago that it was not in her best interest to encourage harmony between Rusi and Coomi. After all, why would Coomi come and spend half the day with an elderly widow if she didn’t need someone to whom she could spill the bitterness from her heart, like water from an urn? And so it was that each day Coomi arrived at Dosamai’s apartment, carefully carrying her urn heart, which had filled up again overnight, and the old woman eagerly waited for that gush of bitterness and anger that announced Coomi’s arrival.
If Rusi had walked out, Coomi and Dosamai would spend happy hours the next morning sticking motives on him like postage stamps. Rusi could imagine their conversation, sure as if he were present.
“This is the utter limit,” Coomi would say. “How many more insults have I to bear in this lifetime? That man is making it hard for me to hold up my head in public. Just because he has no
abroo-ijjat,
he must think I don’t care about my reputation, either.”
“What can you do,
deekra?”
Dosamai would say in her most fatalistic voice. “Who knows what’s inside the heads of these menfolk?”
They would be silent for a minute. Then Dosamai would play her ace. “What time did he get to the wedding hall—can you call someone and find out? Maybe he stopped to see someone first. Met somebody or went somewhere he didn’t want you to know.”
Rusi could see it now: Coomi would be sitting in Dosamai’s dark living room, a pained expression on her face. “Dosamai, even if he is running around, what can I do? I cannot go around following him all over Bombay like a stray dog. To tell the truth, that thought has also crossed my mind.”
Dosamai would sit still for a moment. Then she would speak as slowly and gravely as any prophet ever did. “If this
dookh,
this suffering, is also in your
kismet, deekra,
you will have to bear it. What I say to you is go to the fire temple and light a
diva
for five days in a row and pray for good luck. And keep an eye on Rusi’s comings and goings. I’ve known that Rusi since he was born. He’s always had an eye for the womenfolk.”
“Rusi always did like women,” Coomi had murmured, unable to keep the huskiness out of her voice.
But Dosamai didn’t hear her. “I remember, ever since he was a little boy, he was always telling big, big stories,” she continued. “How he was going to drive an imported car and buy a house at Worli and God knows what all other nonsense. Once, I caught him talking like this to my little Zubin, filling my boy’s head with this foolish nonsense. Straightum-straight, I said to him,
‘Ae
you, Rusi. Your mummy may allow you to tell these foolish stories in your house. But my son is not interested in your Cadillac or your Buick cars. We are poor people, but my Zubin is a good student and he goes to school every day. I don’t want anyone filling his head with dreams of big houses or big cars. The house his old mother raised him in is good enough.’ “
“So what did Rusi say?”
“Say?” Dosamai cried. “What could he say? Walked away
chup-chaap,
without another word.”
For a second, Coomi’s face softened at the memory of the restless, ambitious young man Rusi had been. Oh God, that was whom she had married—that thin, fierce man whose dreams had rattled around in his head like silver coins in a tin can. Who was this broken, cautious, grief-bent man she found herself married to these days?
Coomi still remembered an evening from the first year of their marriage, when she was pregnant with their daughter, Binny. She and Rusi had gone to Chowpatty Beach, sitting on the gritty brown sand as they watched the pepper red Bombay sun go down. Rusi had been in high spirits that evening, talking about how his new son—it had never occurred to him that he might have a daughter—was going to bring him good luck, how he’d work even harder now that he had a whole family to support, how he wanted at least five more children (Coomi had rolled her eyes in mock horror), how he would take his son to the factory with him as soon as the kid could walk, train him, groom him to take over the family business someday.
Saala,
he’d pull his boys out of school and make them join the business as soon as they learned some arithmetic. He’d laughed then. “You’ll see, Coomi,” he said, his face as bright as the moon that was beginning to peer at them through the trees. “I know you don’t believe me and that you think I’m telling these tall-tall stories, but I’ll show you how successful I can be. I may not have gone to the university, but I’ll still put all those college graduates to shame.”
The light of his ambition had dazzled her. It was so overpowering that it burned away her words, her protests. So it remained unsaid: that she would be as happy with a baby girl; that coming from a large family herself, she didn’t particularly want six children; that it didn’t matter to her how successful or rich he was, she’d rather have him home in time for dinner; that she would fight him tooth and nail if he ever encouraged one of her children not to finish school. What she actually said to him was, “I know, Rusi, I know. I know all your dreams will come true someday. I just wish you didn’t have to work so hard, darling.”
Later that evening, they had walked up to the food stalls on the beach and each had two plates of
panipoori.
As always, Rusi was incredibly generous with his money, urging her to eat more, wanting to walk over to Cream Centre for ice cream. But she wanted a
lassi
instead, and Rusi made sure that the
lassiwalla
washed her glass twice, wiped the edge of the glass with his handkerchief “for germs,” and only then was Coomi allowed to sip the frothy milk drink. While she drank, she eyed her dandified young husband in bemusement, thinking how different he was from the rough-tough men she had grown up around. Even then, in his white shirt and blue tie, he looked more like an energetic schoolboy than the businessman he was. It was the long, thin neck, she decided, that gave him his lost, innocent look. It was the cleanest, most vulnerable-looking neck she had ever seen, though she was at a loss to explain how a neck could so break your heart. And those eyes! They burned like coal in the gaunt cave of his face. All of him is in those eyes, she thought, all his hurts, all his losses, his father’s death, his fierce ambition, his burning desire to be somebody. To do something large.
Dosamai’s grave voice shook Coomi out of her reverie. “Don’t just sit there like a dumb statue, Coomi. You listen to old Dosa—watch that husband of yours like a hawk,” she said. “This is exactly the age when they get bad ideas, as soon as they are having too many white hairs to count. And enough wicked women are out there, only wanting a man to take them to nice-nice restaurants and to buy them new clothes and gold jewelry and whatnot.”
Dosamai warmed to her subject.
“Arre,
Coomi, I used to watch my dear Sorab so carefully, he used to tell me it was good training for him for when he was dead. He would say, ‘Dosa, all your staring and watching is building me up for the final hour. When I am dead and they finally lay me in the well in the Tower of Silence, naked as the day I was born, and I’ll see all those vultures staring at me, I’ll yell at them, “You black devils, you think your evil eye has the power to scare me?
Arre,
one look from my Dosa darling is more powerful than all your hungry looks put together.”
The two women laughed. After a few minutes, Coomi reluctantly got up to leave. “Don’t worry, Coomi,” Dosamai said. “I will make a few discreet inquiries about Rusi myself.”
If Rusi had indeed gone to the wedding without Coomi, Dosamai would have been true to her word. Those discreet inquiries meant the old woman getting on the phone and calling on her small but loyal army of woman warriors in the neighborhood. “Amy,” she would have said. “This is Dosamai speaking. Heard that Mehernosh’s wedding reception went well. Though why Jimmy must spend that much money on the flower decorations onstage, God only knows. Jimmy Kanga was always a big show-off,
na?
I say if people have money to waste, give it to charity, like the Parsi Panchayet Fund. Still, it is their business. Some people have money to burn.”