Bonded (22 page)

“Yeah, I know.”
His voice actually sounded regretful. He straightened and shoved
his hands in his pockets. “Look, I don’t want us to end things this
way, okay? I’m sorry I’ve always given you a hard time. Enforcers
and DCs just don’t get along, you know?”

Brandi nodded
slowly. There was some truth to that statement. Enforcers tended to
be more interested in getting the job done rather than looking for
the most unobtrusive method. They left messes behind and just
assumed her office would find a way to tidy things up. “Yeah, I
know. But you and I... We’ve had more than the usual number of
run-ins.”

Reno made a face
before nodding. “My fault. I purposely antagonize you
sometimes.”

She gave a brief
laugh not at all surprised by his admission though it made her feel
uncomfortably aware of her own past behaviour. Guilt ate at her for
her own part in their animosity though she knew it had been basic
survival. If she was angry with him, the hurt inside wasn’t so bad
and the mental wall was easier to maintain. However, she was
leaving now, so perhaps she could, just this once, make her own
confession.

Looking over his
shoulder, she scanned the room. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the
party. No one was looking their way.

“I...uh... do the
same thing to you.” She slid a sideways glance at him, their gazes
met and a smile slowly found its way onto her face. Reno Smith
actually looked sheepish! As her smile grew, so did his, and a
feeling of joy bloomed inside her. Too bad there hadn’t been more
opportunities to share smiles with him. His face transformed when
he was happy; the guarded, brooding look faded, a faint dimple
appeared near the corner of his mouth, and she could see the
laughter dancing in his eyes.

Perhaps it was the
fault of her studying his expression so intently, but after a
moment, he sobered and she mourned the loss of that happy look.

He cleared his
throat and inhaled deeply before speaking, as if gathering his
nerve. “The main thing I wanted to apologize for was the Langstaff
case. I was way out of line, implying you didn’t care about the boy
and his father.”

Brandi stared down
at the floor, absentmindedly noting the faded and scuffed tiles.
They looked tired and worn, which was sort of how she felt inside
these days. Langstaff. Was that when the job had started to suck
the life out of her? Probably.

It had been her
first hard-core case and his words that morning had cut her to the
quick. The hurt had stayed with her long after the fact. Now, years
later, she could acknowledge why he’d acted in that manner; his
actions had been driven by his own guilt and self-hatred. It hadn’t
been personal, but at the time it sure had felt that way.

“You were way out
of line at Langstaff, but I understand why. Most of the mess was
already cleaned up when I got there and I was still sick to my
stomach. You were there for the whole thing.” She lifted her hand,
hesitated, not sure if he’d accept the comfort she was offering,
before pressing her palm to his chest.

It was a simple
gesture yet the act felt intimate. Sound faded into the background
as she concentrated on their point of connection. The thin layer of
material that separated them seemed to melt away. She took a
shuddering breath and absorbed the feel of him. His chest was warm
and solid under her palm; the steady thumping of his heart matching
the beat of her own. Slowly, she moved her fingers in a gentle
caress and felt the surface rise and fall as he inhaled. She moved
her gaze up to the column of his throat and then to his face.

He was looking at
her hand, a half smile playing over the edges of his mouth before
he cleared his throat and looked away. Reluctantly, she let her
hand drop to her side, acknowledging his discomfort with gentler
emotions. It hurt that he kept himself closed off from her but she
tried not to take it personally. Over the years she’d seen enough
at Lycan Link to know Enforcers were expected to be hardened; she
couldn’t expect him to change who he was just for her.

“Are we good now?”
He flicked a glance at her and she nodded.

“Yeah, we’re
good.”

“So... Today was
your last day?” He rocked back and forth on his heels as he asked
the obvious question and Brandi wondered if he was reluctant to end
the conversation.

“Uh-huh. I’m going
away for a few days’ vacation—I haven’t been on one in years—and
then it’s down to sub-level three.” She paused and stared at his
face, taking in his strong jaw and nose, his blue eyes flecked with
grey and green. “I’ll miss you, Reno Smith.”

The words were out
before she could stop them and it felt like she was ripping her
heart out for some reason.

“And I’ll miss
you, Brandi Jones.” Reno reached out and brushed a curl from her
face then twisted a lock around his finger.

“Johansson.” She
corrected and he laughed, releasing the curl in favour of chucking
her under the chin.

“You’ll always be
Jones to me.”

“Smith and Jones,
go figure.” She shook her head and gave a light laugh at the
absurdity.

Unexpectedly, Reno
cupped her face. “You know, I like watching you laugh.” He skimmed
his thumb over her cheek and she unconsciously leaned into the
gesture enjoying the feel of his work-roughened palm. “A goodbye
kiss?”

Without waiting
for a reply, he dipped his head and caught her mouth with his. At
first their lips brushed slowly back and forth, then he pressed a
little closer. She parted her lips, inviting him in and he
accepted, sweeping his tongue over hers, tasting...teasing.

A shiver ran up
her spine and she leaned closer still, wrapping her arms around
him, absorbing his warmth, loving the feel of his long hard body.
Twice they’d made love and both times were indelibly imprinted on
her memory. The strength of his arms, the smoothness of his skin.
The play of muscles over his back as he moved within her, his
hair-roughened thighs lightly abrading her own.

Her stomach
quivered at the memory and she felt herself growing moist. Reno was
affected too; she could feel his arousal pressing against her belly
through their clothing. His hands roamed freely up and down her
back, finally coming to rest on her rear, firmly caressing her
flesh and drawing her closer. Memories of being with him flooded
her and the ache inside her grew.

The idea of being
with him again, just one last time, hovered in her mind. It would
be easy enough to do, to slip outside to her car, or find an empty
storage room. In her mind she played out the scene; his hard body
poised at her entrance, herself whimpering with anticipation. The
exquisite feeling of being stretched and filled... Then common
sense prevailed.

Being with him
once more would only prolong the agony. A clean break was best.
Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away and ended the kiss. His
exhalation skimmed over her face; cooler air slipped between their
bodies as they stepped back, emphasizing the fact that they were
now apart. She stared up at him, unsure of what to say. Words and
ideas seldom failed her, but in this situation they did.

“Umm...”

“Yeah...” He
shifted his feet.

“I guess...” They
spoke simultaneously, paused and each gave a nervous laugh. Reno
nodded for her to go first.

She licked her
lips. “I was just going to say that I... I guess I should get back
to the party.”

“That’s what I was
thinking, too.” He stared down at her as if trying to see her soul
and she searched his eyes equally hard. Was there any sign that he
cared, that he felt more than lust for a female with unusual red
hair? Did he feel any connection to her at all?

No. There was only
puzzlement, maybe loneliness and the barely suppressed wildness of
his wolf.

Her heart ached
and her wolf whined in denial that this was indeed the end, but it
had to be. Reaching up, she brushed her fingertips over his mouth
and she felt his lips move, pressing a small kiss to them. “Good
bye, Reno.”

“Bye, Brandi.” He
stepped back, turned, and walked away.

She watched his
retreating figure, drinking in the sure set of his shoulders and
his confident walk. He didn’t look back or pause even once.
Unbidden, tears welled in her eyes and she blinked to keep them
from falling. For years the man had haunted her dreams, sometimes
erotic, sometimes just homey scenarios; they’d given her a faint
hope that things would work out. Now, after three years she knew
she had to face reality. They weren’t meant to be.

“You okay?”

Brandi looked
around and saw Al leaning against the wall.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”
She sniffed and took a deep breath.

“You don’t look
it.”

She pasted a smile
on her face and spoke with an airiness she didn’t feel. “Well, I
am. Reno just apologized for being a pain in the ass all these
years. Can you imagine? Mr. High and Mighty Smith admitted he was
wrong.” She forced out a laugh and if Al heard the partial sob that
came out with it, he was too good of a friend to say so.

Al chuckled.
“Wonders will never cease. Now come on back to the party or Clancy
might stop the free nachos.”

Smacking Al
lightly, she rolled her eyes. Honestly, the man was like a walking
stomach! “I’ll be there in a minute. I just need to go to the
ladies’ room.”

Once in the
relative quiet of the washroom, she slumped against the wall and
absorbed the coolness of the tile while trying to compose herself.
Desire was still pulsing through her body, her chest actually hurt
with heartbreak and her throat was tight with tears. Quite the way
to spend a night in her honour, right?

Releasing the
tight control she’d kept herself under, she allowed her emotions
free rein. A sob escaped her, followed by another and for a moment
she allowed herself the healing luxury of tears.

The encounter with
Reno had been totally unexpected and she wondered why he’d suddenly
felt the need to mend the rift between them. In a way, it almost
made her angry that he had. Just when she’d finally convinced
herself that he was a jerk, he had to turn around and do something
so unexpectedly nice, totally messing her up again in the
process.

She took a deep
breath and grabbed onto that anger, using it to stave off her
tears. The man wasn’t worth crying over. A few kind gestures
couldn’t erase all the years of animosity, could they?

Wiping her face,
she turned her sadness into a growl of frustration at her internal
turmoil; would she ever figure out her feelings for the man?

Lust? Any
red-blooded female would feel that way.

Respect? Yes,
though at times she was loathe to admit it. He was dedicated,
damned good at his job, and treated the refugees with kindness.

Exasperation?
Without a doubt. Every time they seemed to be getting closer, he’d
turn into a jerk. Did he purposely lead her on or did he sabotage
his relationship with her for some weird reason of his own?

And then of course
there was the blood bond she had with him. A persistent emptiness
existed within her, a longing for her other half that gnawed away
at her soul and left her completely exhausted. It had been almost
three years since she’d been able to really relax and let her guard
down without fear of Reno’s thoughts flooding her mind. Keeping up
a mental wall between them was slowly wearing her down to the point
where she wondered how long it would be before it affected her
ability to do her job.

A wave of self
pity threatened and she forced it back. It was her own choice to
exist this way. She’d had options and this had been the choice
she’d made. Part of her felt guilty that she’d never told Reno
about the bond, and in truth she’d only meant to wait a little
while, but weeks had turned into months and then into years. The
time just never seemed right. There was always another case or
people nearby. And knowing she was keeping such a secret from him
made her defensive around him. Sometimes she’d been such a bitch,
she’d inwardly cringed at her own words.

Well, it was too
late now. So what if she’d come to know Reno better, if he was even
more appealing to her now than he had been three years ago? They
weren’t meant to be. She’d move away, live her life as best she
could and hope that distance would improve her circumstances.

She licked her
lips and closed her eyes, savouring the remaining taste of Reno
that lingered there, the scent of him that clung to her clothes.
Faint reminders, but she’d hold on to them as long as possible.
After all, they’d have to sustain her for the rest of her life.

The bathroom door
swung open, the sound of music and conversation suddenly invading
her retreat.

“There you are!”
Jenny stood just inside the doorway, a hand on her hip. “We were
all wondering what had happened to the guest of honour.”

“Just taking a
breather.” With the ease of constant practise, Brandi pasted on a
happy mask and allowed herself to be led back to the party.

Chapter
14

Reno walked away
from Brandi and wondered why he felt like he was making the biggest
mistake of his life. Sure, she was easy on the eyes but lots of
females fell into that category. There was just something about
her...

“Reno. Over here.”
He looked up at the sound of his name. Captain Fielding was sitting
at a table and gesturing for him to come over.

“Captain.” Sliding
into the empty chair, he waited for the older man to speak.
Fielding was akin to their Alpha in the pseudo pack of his
department. No one was sure how old the man was. His hair was steel
grey and his face was lined but his strength and authority showed
no signs of faltering. Fielding was known as being fair and honest,
providing sound leadership and demanding respect. He also wasn’t
afraid to knock someone back in line when they needed it. Reno
smiled ruefully recalling that in the early days he’d been on the
receiving end of that discipline more than once.