Bonds Of The Heart (19 page)

              “Erika, dear. How are you?” Maureen entered the room.

              “I’m doing all right.”

              “Have you been by to see your daddy?”

              “Yes, before we came here.”

              “I heard you were thinking of buying the old Miller place.”

              “Yes. My stuff is being shipped back this week. I’m staying with my mom until I can find a place. That one is at the top of my list. Easy access to get into D.C.”

              So is this house, Maureen mused to herself. “I’m so glad you’re back. Your mother has told everyone in town who will listen.”

              “That’s mom.” Erika fidgeted with the skirt of the aqua blue dress. She wanted to ask where Blake was. She wanted to know if he thought of her, remembered her. Or worse, if he'd forgotten about her.

              “Have you been by Blackie’s?”

             
Yes, a number of times since being back.
“No.”

              “Come with me, then. Robbie I’m just going to the garage with Erika. I’ll be right back.”

              “Okay, Grands! See this, Chris?” Robbie’s voice trailed off as he showed Chris all his ‘Gears of War’ gaming gear.

              Erika, glanced at Maureen, then at Chris, who just nodded and shooed her away as he went back to playing with Robbie. She thought Maureen was going to take her to Blackie’s. Instead, she brought her outside and opened the doors to Blake’s garage.

              When the doors opened, Erika took a step in retreat.

              Her Jeep. The one her father had given to her was sitting in the garage. Any dents caused in the accident had been knocked out. Mud and dirt washed away. All the windows had been replaced. Maureen took Erika’s hand in hers and placed something inside the center of her palm before closing her hand over it.

              “He worked on your Jeep nonstop since you left. He spent hours and sleepless nights just to get it to work again. For you, Erika. Go see him. I’m sure you’ll find him in one of the old fields.”

              Erika looked to Blake’s mother then to the Jeep and back again, nodded and approached the Jeep. Blake had cleaned out the inside of the Jeep as well. There was absolutely no sign that the Jeep had been in an accident. She got behind the wheel and placed the key in the ignition. When it purred to life she smiled at Maureen who nodded as Erika backed out of the garage, the driveway, and into the street in search of Blake.

***

              Blake gunned the engine and drove across the deserted field. He turned the wheel as red dirt spit from below the tires. Rocks tolled against metal. Red clouds of smoke billowed behind him, in front of him, all around him, swallowing him and his brother’s truck as it had done too many times before to count. He turned the wheel again. More rocks and dirt hit the underbelly of the truck. More dust and clouds.

              Today, he swore he’d find a way to drive Erika’s Jeep back to her in L.A. He wouldn’t leave no matter how much she pushed him away. He would explain everything to her and beg her forgiveness. If he had to, he’d get down on his knees. He wasn’t above groveling at this point.

              He would tell her he loved her, this time so she could hear it.

              The image of her wet, cold, bloody body still haunted his dreams. He couldn’t bring himself to see her at the hospital. He had sat in his truck in the parking lot but never went inside. The day she left Emberton, he was in this same field tearing up the dirt after seeing his brother’s grave. Turning the wheel again, he saw her Jeep turning into the field. 

             
And now I’m seeing things? 

              The Jeep came closer, a cloud of dirt following behind it. He braked hard, letting the smoke billow around the truck. When the Jeep pulled up in front of him, he watched Erika step out. She wore the same blue dress she had worn on their first date—the picnic. His breath caught in his throat. She was here. She waited in front of the Jeep. He opened the truck’s door and stepped out.

              Erika swallowed hard. She didn’t know what she would say to him if she found him. She hadn’t practiced anything on the flight home or anything over the past few hours being home. She was too nervous for what she wanted to tell him.

              “Blake—”

              He held up a hand to stop her from speaking. He quickly closed the gap between them but stood right in front of her. He didn’t touch her, he didn’t kiss her. Maybe he was still angry, she thought. He has every right to be angry. She could feel the tears pricking her eyes and did her best to blink them away.

              “You deserve an apology and an explanation.” His voice was low and gentle.

              “No, Blake. You don’t have to. I was—”

              “Yes, you do. And yes, I do.” He sighed again and knew it was time to open up. “Jared, my brother, died defending us. He was in the Marines and he paid the ultimate price.”

              Erika swallowed hard. She watched the emotions crossed Blake’s face showing his agony. She tried to put him at ease again, “You don’t have to—”

              “He was stationed in Afghanistan. On a routine mission, his Humvee ran over an IED. It killed part of his unit and him. And your father. But you already know that. I was living in D.C. at the time I got the call from my mother. The officer and chaplain came to the door and Robbie answered it.”

              Erika suppressed a gasp with her hand. Robbie had opened the door to the news his father had died.

              “My parents were here with Robbie. It was hard for all of us, but most especially Robbie. I took it just as bad and drowned myself in my pain for about a month before my mom knocked some sense into me. Now I had to be there for Robbie. Robbie’s mom had passed away giving birth so all Robbie had was Jared and my parents. And when Jared was deployed he stayed with my parents. He still has nightmares over opening that door. They are getting better with time and support from me and my parents.

              “We held the funeral here. Robbie copes by playing video games. I cope by driving my brother’s truck.” He gestured to the old truck behind him and Erika could see his eyes dampen. “I miss my brother every damn day. I haven’t talked to anyone about him since the day we found out. I don’t know why, I can’t figure it out for the life of me, but I find it…Maybe it’s because you know what it’s like, I don’t know, it’s just easy to talk to you.” He ran a hand over his face, wiping his eyes. “That day in the meadow, our picnic, when I started talking about Jared, I don’t know why I just opened up like I did. When you told me about your father…I tried to stop myself. I fought with myself to control the urge to talk about it, to you. But I couldn’t. Then when you started asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer, I shut down, like I had with everyone else.” Blake took a deep breath.

              “If anyone knows how it feels, I’d say it was me but I’d be lying," Erika said. “Yes, I know the ache and maybe even some of the anger. But he was your brother and for me it was my dad. Each of us is going to handle things differently. If driving your brother’s truck is your way of coping, so be it. For me, I used to bury myself in work.” She shrugged.

              “Used to?”

              Erika shrugged.

              “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about all this. The only person.” He whispered when her eyes met his. “I couldn’t bring myself to go to the cemetery. I couldn’t until…”

              “Until?”

              “The day of your accident, after the night we spent…I went to the cemetery, to see my brother. I knew that if I could face him, I could face you. I could explain. I was rude to you. For that I’m sorry.”

              “Well at least that explains why you were so ill-mannered to me when we first met.” She smiled, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

              “I suppose it does. Erika, about the picture.” Erika opened her mouth to speak. “No, let me get this out. I didn’t know it was your dad. I had gotten those pictures a month before Jared’s death. I had stared at those damn pictures every night. But I never looked at anyone else except my brother. The night before the fair, for some damn reason, I looked at the guy standing next to Jared. I should have told you that night. I shouldn’t have waited. I made excuses, let my own issues get the best of me, and I was wrong.”

              “No, Blake. I was wrong. It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have blamed you. I should have listened. I was still hurting and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

              He reached out and took her hands. “I thought I had lost you when I found you at the river. I never want to lose you again. I love you, Erika. I don’t think I could stop loving you. I didn’t want you to leave to go back to California. I was going to ask you to stay. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. Well, me and Robbie.”

              Erika’s heart leapt. “You fixed my Jeep. My dad gave me that jeep. I never really appreciated it until I had lost him. I kept his dog tags on me from the moment we received them with his personal belongings. Losing them—”

              “Wait, one minute…” Remembering, Blake turned back to his brother’s truck and let Erika’s hands go.

              She watched him pull something from around the mirror of the truck where his brother’s dog tags were hung.

              Blake took her hand in his, palm up. He let the chain fall first as he placed her father’s dog tags in her hand. Her filled eyes spilled over with tears. She turned the dog tags over in her hand, closed her fingers, and brought them to her heart. She kissed them and put them around her neck.

              “You found them…” Her voice trembled.

              “You had them in your hand when I pulled you from the Jeep. When I saw that you dropped them
I went back for them.” He shrugged.

              “You risked your life for me, for these.”

              She took his hand. The sound of
‘I Drive Your Truck’
danced in the air and it reminded her of Blake and his brother.

              “I love you Blake. I should have told you before. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you.” She stepped forward and pressed her mouth lightly to his. “And Robbie.”