Bone by Bone (6 page)

‘Oh,' she said. She'd never heard of it.

He typed something and then turned the screen around so she could see. It was a YouTube clip of two men in white robes and trousers trimmed with black, wearing black belts. They bowed before circling one another, wary as tigers. One lashed out with a high kick; the other deflected the blow with ease.

‘It's a two-thousand-year-old Korean martial art,' said Aaron. ‘It means “the way of the foot and the fist”.'

‘Oh,' said Laura again.

It looked deadly yet, at the same time, graceful. She could see that Aaron would be good at it; he appeared lithe yet strong and his focus seemed unshakable.

He didn't ask her why she'd asked or if she was interested in trying Taekwondo, and Laura was grateful. He clicked the video off and returned to his examination of her laptop. She should really get fit, she thought. Jacob would smirk when she told him. He'd been telling her to exercise since they'd met when she first moved here.
Easy for him
to say, she thought, since he was an ex-marine and already incredibly athletic. She'd ask his advice when she saw him tomorrow.

Aaron stood up and stretched. ‘Mind if I have another glass of wine and a cup of coffee?' he asked.

‘Oh, of course.' Laura poured him one of each. ‘How are you getting on?'

‘Nearly there,' he said. ‘Before I leave I'm going to install a remote device that will allow me to operate your laptop from my office. If you have any problems over the weekend or next week, I'll be able to access the hard drive and sort it out for you. If you're still having trouble, I'll have to wipe it and start from scratch, but I think it'll be fine.'

Laura was a little taken aback by his suggestion but Aaron didn't seem perturbed by the intrusiveness of such a program.

‘Don't worry,' he said, sitting back down and staring at the laptop. ‘Hopefully it'll just be a temporary measure to check you're not getting any glitches when I'm not here. I'll be working this weekend so feel free to call me any time if you need to.'

It had grown dark. The only light in the room was the small desk lamp, which cast a bubble of radiance around them. Laura, warmed and relaxed from the wine, felt slightly less shaky. The threat that Levi posed and the terrible thing that she had done started to diminish a little in her mind. She resolved to talk to Mrs Sibson again and find out who Levi's parents were. She would speak to them and apologize, but she'd make sure they understood how awful Levi's behaviour had been. And she would get fit and become strong. Horrendous as it was, pushing Levi would put an end to his bullying. Bullies were fundamentally cowards and she had stood up to him.

‘You're right by the nature reserve, aren't you?' said Aaron, interrupting her thoughts.

‘Yes,' she said. ‘The allotments are over there' – she waved in their general direction, now a black window into the night with a small, bright-white reflection in the corner from her desk lamp – ‘and the reserve is behind them. Why, are you interested in wildlife?'

Aaron shook his head. ‘It's the highest peak for miles around. On a clear night I go and sit on the hill.'

She looked at him quizzically. She hadn't thought that someone who was an expert in computer technology would have a romantic side to him.

‘It's the best place to see the stars in the city,' he explained.

‘Oh. You're into astronomy,' she said, smiling.

‘Correct. The pollution from street lights is minimized out there.' Aaron tilted his head to one side. He was staring out of the window, now spotted with drops of rain. ‘At this time of year it's easy to spot Jupiter.' His voice was deep, resonant, quiet. She had to concentrate to hear every word. ‘I'm hoping to see The Great Red Spot – it's a storm twice as wide as earth that's been raging for three hundred years.' He paused and smiled before saying, ‘Did you know Jupiter is made of what was left over after the sun was formed? It's a giant ball of gas with the largest ocean in the solar system – a sea of liquid hydrogen. Can you even begin to imagine what that might look like?' His eyes were shining. There was something beautiful about the cadence of his voice in this single, simple moment.

The front door opened and Vanessa and Autumn came in, accompanied by a blast of chill, fresh air and the sound of rainfall. Laura stood awkwardly and pushed her chair backwards. Autumn was staring up at her from the hall, but as soon as Laura smiled at her, she looked away. Autumn and her grandmother walked up the stairs towards them.

‘This is Aaron, Autumn, Vanessa. Autumn is my daughter and Vanessa, my mother. Aaron's fixing my computer,' she said. She could feel her cheeks burning.

Aaron shook hands with them both. ‘Fixed,' he said, and then turning to Laura, he added, ‘I'd prefer cash.'

‘Oh,' said Laura, suddenly embarrassed.

The jolt, from listening to him telling her about Jupiter's sea to asking for money, felt harsh. She realized she hadn't thought about how she would pay him and she didn't have any money in her wallet. Worse – since they were on such a tight budget and she'd never had to account for every pound so stringently before – she wasn't even sure how she'd manage to pay Aaron this month.

‘I've got it,' said Vanessa, touching her arm. She delved inside her handbag for her purse and Laura flushed as she realized her mother had noticed her agitation.

Autumn hasn't told her
, Laura thought, as she watched Vanessa.
Thank God.

The child slid past them and disappeared up the stairs, switching on lights as she went. Laura wanted to rush after her, but she felt compelled to stay as her mother handed Aaron some notes. They both walked him down the stairs to the hall.

After he'd put his coat on, Aaron said, ‘Actually, I'd prefer to go out the back. I'd like to go home through the nature reserve. It looks as if the rain is beginning to clear up.'

‘Of course,' said Laura, and led the way down to the kitchen. She opened the door and said, ‘I'll come with you. There's a key code on the gate. You need it to get out.'

‘Don't trouble yourself,' said Aaron. ‘You'll get cold. And you haven't got any shoes on.'

Laura hesitated and then said, ‘It's 2003.'

Aaron said, ‘The year Autumn was born? You should change that to something more secure. I'll make sure the gate's closed properly.'

He smiled at her and stepped out into the night. Laura, watching him vanish into the darkness, wondered if he'd call her, if perhaps he might come around and drink red wine and black coffee and talk to her about the planets.

Vanessa raised an eyebrow at her as Laura locked the kitchen door.

‘He's into astronomy,' she explained. ‘He wants to do a bit of star-gazing on his way home.'

They waited at the window until they heard the gate click shut and then Vanessa said, ‘Autumn's very tired, poor dear. Unsurprisingly. As must you be. There's pizza for you. We thought you would be starving by now.'

Laura, a little woozy from the wine, nodded.

‘Thanks, Mum,' she said and hugged her. It was the first time she'd called her mother Mum and not Vanessa since she was seven, she suddenly realized. She was glad her mother was here, she thought. If only she could stay until Monday – see Mrs Sibson with her, talk to Levi's parents. Take charge.

‘I'll just go and say goodnight to Autumn,' Laura said.

I'll tell her that it's all over now
, she thought.
I'll say: Levi won't dare bully you again.

AUTUMN

A
utumn lined her toys up in her bed as she had done every night since they'd moved into the new house: Little Bear; Big Bear; Ruby, a patchwork alligator; Jerome, a black boy doll complete with male genitalia wearing a pink dress; Stephanie, a rabbit with a missing ear; Hum Drum the elephant; and George, a lion with a mane that Autumn had brushed until only a few wisps remained. They looked back at her with their glassine eyes, a small, raggedy army assembled to protect her from all the creaks and moans and groans in this eerie house. They all used to be in her bed but, during the night, her mother would always remove them. This was the compromise: they were still tucked in but at the foot of the bed.

She'd asked her grandmother to read her a bedtime story and her mother had looked pained. Autumn hated it when she hurt her feelings, and then, even worse, her mum tried to pretend she hadn't. But the alternative had been to hurt Granny's feelings and Granny was only here for a little bit. She'd said she was
holding the fort
while her mum was working over the weekend, but she was only holding it for a short time. Really, thought Autumn, she felt guilty about not visiting them sooner. Granny was leaving on Sunday. Autumn counted to herself: two more sleeps, if you included tonight.

She looked around the room. It glowed with an alien blue light that didn't quite diminish the dark or light up the deepest recesses and shadows in her bedroom. It was from a clock her mum had bought her when she was two. It had stars on it and when it was the proper time to get up, it turned yellow and the stars became a sun with a smiley face. It had been supposed to make her stay in bed until morning but it hadn't worked, Mum had said.

Her dad hadn't approved of the clock because he said children shouldn't have lights in their bedroom.

It's bad for your eyes. And aren't you too old for that?

He'd set it to the dimmest possible background light, a weak blue that barely banished any shadows. That was before he moved into his new girlfriend's flat. In their new house Autumn had been frightened to even get out of bed and creep across the creaking floorboards. Once she'd wet the bed in the night because she was too scared to get up. She didn't know which was worse: the fear or the humiliation of weeing in her bed like a baby.

She'd found the instructions for the clock – Dad had kept a file in his office labelled
Autumn
, with boring paperwork about school, report cards, her red medical record book, and what he called
Odds and Ends
. He'd given it to her mum when he went and Autumn had found it in one of the boxes. Her mum hadn't even unpacked it. Autumn read the instructions through carefully first and then sat down with it and the clock in front of her and followed each step, like Dad did. She was pleased when she managed to increase the brightness of the clock and it was now as light as it could be. She'd replaced the instruction manual in the file. She was sure her Mum didn't even remember there was an
Autumn
folder.

She felt funny thinking about her dad. He loved her, she knew that, and she loved him, but it was a kind of sharp love that hurt inside. He didn't really understand her. He wanted her to be
more
. He wished she was bigger, somehow – but not taller or older. The ruts in his forehead grew deeper when he looked at her pictures and, although he always said they were nice, really he wanted her to go and play outside. Actually, she thought, he'd be a lot happier if she was a boy. A proper boy, not one like Caius, from her old class, who was thin and mild-mannered and had blond hair in mad corkscrews and read poetry books.

And now she hardly saw him and she felt bad for even thinking about loving him differently than other kids loved their dads. When they talked every Saturday on Skype it felt tricky. He always asked the same questions about school and friends, and he said the same thing whenever he said goodbye:
Be good for your mother
. Which showed a serious lack of imagination because she always was good for her mum.

She was trying not to think about what had happened today. After the slugs yesterday, and her mum talking to Mrs Sibson this morning, the rain on her way home had been like an extra, final punishment as she ran, shivering and slipping in the mud, clutching her portfolio under one arm. Until, that is, she saw Levi and his boys at the end of the metal bridge. He was smiling, the crooked, wicked smile that he reserved especially for her.

The boys that were with him banged sticks and their hands against the bars. Their voices warped and echoed within the cage and ricocheted across the humming railway lines. They were like the chimpanzees in London Zoo: loud and strong and out of control. She felt as if she had no bones, like a jellyfish, hooked from the sea. She walked slowly towards them, her ears ringing, but they ignored her. All except for Levi, who stood at the end, his hands in his pockets, smiling.

She walked past them and they stopped banging and shouting. The silence was far more frightening. Levi stopped smiling. They closed around her in a circle. One of them pushed her. Another one pulled her hood down. And then one snatched her portfolio. She cried out but they just laughed. They passed it between them and then to Levi. She ran towards him, trying to retrieve it, but he held it above his head and opened the zip, and her paintings cascaded out.

And then her mum had come – too late. They'd already torn all her pictures up and scattered them in handfuls of bleeding ink into the rain and tossed them across the grass. Her mum had shouted at him and the boys had backed off. She thought of her mum, white and shaking, her face wet with rain, her voice trembling, frightened and angry; and Levi, beautiful, glowing, smiling, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. And his horrid laugh. It had made her shiver.

She clutched Big Bear to her.

And then her mum had pushed him and he'd fallen, and when he looked up his eyes were funny and unfocused and his cheek was bleeding and all bruised. Autumn shuddered. She couldn't bear to think of what might have happened. What if her mum hadn't come and got her? What would happen now?

She'd tried not to dwell on it when she was out with Granny but she was worried. Her mum had looked terrible when they'd left: pale and hurt, as if she wanted some sort of reassurance, as if she wanted Autumn to tell her that it would all be okay. She couldn't do it, she couldn't think of the right words.

‘Let's choose a special pizza for Mum,' she'd said, and they'd ordered one with extra toppings, all of Mum's favourite food.

When they'd arrived home, she'd felt sick. She thought they might walk in and find Levi's parents talking to her mum. But she was sitting upstairs, half in her office, half on the landing, with a man. The one who'd come to fix her laptop. He didn't look like a computer repair man. He looked… Autumn struggled to describe him…
charming
, like a prince in a fairy story.

Her mum was clutching a glass of wine and leaning towards him as if he was the most fascinating person she'd met. It had shocked Autumn, this still tableau, lit with a single lamp, burning in the darkness of the house. And he was odd, this man, Aaron. He'd shaken her hand as if she were a grown-up, but he hadn't looked at her. He hadn't
seen
her.

She'd grown agitated and run up the stairs, turning on all the lights. She hoped he would go, this strange man with the blankness inside him, who seemed to have enchanted her mother. Would he become her mum's new boyfriend? Her mum had come up to say goodnight and she'd stroked her hair and told her that Levi would never bother her again.

It was wrong to push him
, she'd said, as she'd said several times before,
but I stood up to him. He won't hurt you now.

She was frightened of Levi, Autumn thought, but she still came to get me, she told him to stop bullying me in front of all those boys. Maybe it will be okay.

She hugged Big Bear more tightly.