Book of Sketches (11 page)
Authors: Jack Kerouac
SKETCHES NO. 3
SKETCH . . . .
THE CRUMMY
Cowboys of the Wild
American romantic West
& the Horsey Set are
hungup on horses’ asses —
American romantic West
& the Horsey Set are
hungup on horses’ asses —
Cows around an oil well pump
say — “Leave the oil in
our earth.” — Later ages
will wonder why Faustian
man extracted all kinds
of stuff from the earth,
dirt, mud, oil — Silly
pumps ass balling up &
down the ground for
nothing — oil for horror —
say — “Leave the oil in
our earth.” — Later ages
will wonder why Faustian
man extracted all kinds
of stuff from the earth,
dirt, mud, oil — Silly
pumps ass balling up &
down the ground for
nothing — oil for horror —
( — Dostoevsky’s moon — )
Aping nature is not art,
only a gospel will do —
only a gospel will do —
Tea — backtracking thru
the universe —
the universe —
Not only a derangement
of the senses but of
personal evaluations, moral
evaluations of yourself
— tea is suicidal —
of the senses but of
personal evaluations, moral
evaluations of yourself
— tea is suicidal —
I vant to be alone
—
since that repudiation of
a human wish Americans
have become adjusted to
their machines —
—
since that repudiation of
a human wish Americans
have become adjusted to
their machines —
Baby crying in gray morning
— moments meshing with
every note —
— moments meshing with
every note —
Pray to God for the
great reality (on
yr. knees in Italian
railyards near spectral
tenements)
The first thing that strikes
me about Dostoevsky in beginning
any of his books is
the nervous anguish that
seems to have preceded the
first page — the hero is
always the same, comes
to the first page out of
eternities of introspection,
anguish, gloom — just
as I do every day.
Hmm.
great reality (on
yr. knees in Italian
railyards near spectral
tenements)
me about Dostoevsky in beginning
any of his books is
the nervous anguish that
seems to have preceded the
first page — the hero is
always the same, comes
to the first page out of
eternities of introspection,
anguish, gloom — just
as I do every day.
Hmm.
The morning of me
liberation — Oct. 4, 1952
— I go live alone in
a 3rd St. room, leaving
Neal’s — for the 1st
time since 1942 —
(in Hartford) — All
set to write
On the
Road,
the big one
with Michael Levesque
— the only one —
have renounced everyone,
& myself dedicate to
sorrow, work, silence,
solitude, deep joys of
the early mist —
liberation — Oct. 4, 1952
— I go live alone in
a 3rd St. room, leaving
Neal’s — for the 1st
time since 1942 —
(in Hartford) — All
set to write
On the
Road,
the big one
with Michael Levesque
— the only one —
have renounced everyone,
& myself dedicate to
sorrow, work, silence,
solitude, deep joys of
the early mist —
Train 3-419 is waiting
outside Oakland yards
— it’s 7 30 AM —
fog — great clutter of
bedsprings & screens &
rusty fenders for walls
make a house of
ferruginous barrels loaded
with iron mucks — I
see whole interiors of
hotplates, grates of
old stoves, the arms
of antique washing machines,
tubes, buckets,
— two bos just
passed it, found an
interest in a piece on the
ground — Strange
bird flies overhead —
Saw 1000 ducks Milpitas —
outside Oakland yards
— it’s 7 30 AM —
fog — great clutter of
bedsprings & screens &
rusty fenders for walls
make a house of
ferruginous barrels loaded
with iron mucks — I
see whole interiors of
hotplates, grates of
old stoves, the arms
of antique washing machines,
tubes, buckets,
— two bos just
passed it, found an
interest in a piece on the
ground — Strange
bird flies overhead —
Saw 1000 ducks Milpitas —
Next to junk crib
is concrete blockhouse hut
with protruderant pole
with climbing ladder &
iron pipe — a smaller,
sloperoofed concrete house
with no meaning (hides
a dynamo?) — little
window — in chalk
“Nixon is broke” —
Armour & Co. loading
platform has yesterday’s
debris — a Filipino
fishes in blue barrel —
October & the railyards
again, & the great novel
in America —
The Cook is Grooking —
Jacky Robinson’s at
bat again —
is concrete blockhouse hut
with protruderant pole
with climbing ladder &
iron pipe — a smaller,
sloperoofed concrete house
with no meaning (hides
a dynamo?) — little
window — in chalk
“Nixon is broke” —
Armour & Co. loading
platform has yesterday’s
debris — a Filipino
fishes in blue barrel —
October & the railyards
again, & the great novel
in America —
The Cook is Grooking —
Jacky Robinson’s at
bat again —
OCT 4
Saturday morning in a Frisco
bar, October, it’s the
World Series as in 1947
when Michael LeVesque
was in Selma Calif.
& the old railroad clerk
spoke to him in the
long dust of an
afternoon of sorrowful
farewell, when Mike’d
turned for one last goodbye
at Teresa in the
long grape row —
bar, October, it’s the
World Series as in 1947
when Michael LeVesque
was in Selma Calif.
& the old railroad clerk
spoke to him in the
long dust of an
afternoon of sorrowful
farewell, when Mike’d
turned for one last goodbye
at Teresa in the
long grape row —
I’m getting my kicks in
typical Jack Kerouac
way, refilling a tokay
25¢ shotglass from
my poorboy pocket bottle
in railroad-grime jacket
typical Jack Kerouac
way, refilling a tokay
25¢ shotglass from
my poorboy pocket bottle
in railroad-grime jacket
& writing & watching
W. S. while Negro &
Filipino cats sit in
bar watching game
without buying or
drinking anything at
all — Mike Levesque
is like that, the
Pilgrim of the Fellaheen
is a simple & joyful
fellow & no “innocent
boy” camper like Peter
Martin — but no
more words, now for
the scenes —
(She was born in Montreal
a simple-intentioned pure
heart, & remained so for
a lifetime thru histories, paranoias
& grief)
W. S. while Negro &
Filipino cats sit in
bar watching game
without buying or
drinking anything at
all — Mike Levesque
is like that, the
Pilgrim of the Fellaheen
is a simple & joyful
fellow & no “innocent
boy” camper like Peter
Martin — but no
more words, now for
the scenes —
(She was born in Montreal
a simple-intentioned pure
heart, & remained so for
a lifetime thru histories, paranoias
& grief)
You’ve got to put a
superstructure of love
on yr. life or you’ll
just be a skeleton in
the grave of yr.
mortal days, shuddering
naked against the main
nerve of yr. being,
unclothed for the
Raiment Halls of
Will, Severity of Purpose,
— God is a superaddition
to the frame of Man,
like the flesh & eyes —
Therefore unravel the
drama of yr. soul before
yr. eyes, be strong &
thoughtful, be not naked scared
superstructure of love
on yr. life or you’ll
just be a skeleton in
the grave of yr.
mortal days, shuddering
naked against the main
nerve of yr. being,
unclothed for the
Raiment Halls of
Will, Severity of Purpose,
— God is a superaddition
to the frame of Man,
like the flesh & eyes —
Therefore unravel the
drama of yr. soul before
yr. eyes, be strong &
thoughtful, be not naked scared
The personal legend of
Duluoz is for communication
on a later level —
Duluoz is for communication
on a later level —
When I walked in 20th Century Fox
office in 1949 I knew the
corruption of certain types &
the City; but now I see the
corruption of all America
& its broken head on an iron wheel
office in 1949 I knew the
corruption of certain types &
the City; but now I see the
corruption of all America
& its broken head on an iron wheel
Ah what’s happening in
the world! —
I woke up — 2 flies
were fucking on my forehead
It’s hypocrisy makes
these hills grim —
the world! —
were fucking on my forehead
these hills grim —
The
pue
of the sad Malley —
listen to the sad Malley —
the
phew
of the sad Malley —
song of the sad Malley —
(Mallet locomotive)
pue
of the sad Malley —
listen to the sad Malley —
the
phew
of the sad Malley —
song of the sad Malley —
(Mallet locomotive)
You have an inordinary
nack to inult me
every nime
This is the end of
the handball game
TO CARL SOLOBONE
nack to inult me
every nime
This is the end of
the handball game
TO CARL SOLOBONE
Watsonville, valley — the
sun is setting in a mysterious
orange flameball over the
flat green lettuce fields
interlined with brown dirt
rows & roads & rails — beyond
the milky haze of this
dusk is the sea, unseen, the
Pacific to the Land of the
Rising Sun — the grass is
like hay, full of ants
that go to sleep at sundown,
dry shrubs, dry cottonwoods,
weeds, tart spice ferns of
Spring are now fuel for
Autumn Seres, — little
weedflowers close their
blossoms as the dusk birdsongs
titter — a farm in the
dreaming vale below, white-
washed barn, flat reposant
chickencoops & toolsheds —
I hear the distant hiway
trucks — sitting on the
mat of earth on the westernmost
American hill facing
the unknown east all
pink now — Sweet dewy
breeze hints of sea —
The railroad cries the
roundroll — I sleep on
the ground under the
stars like an Indian,
baseball hat, brakeman’s
lantern & tucked in
Levis & workshoes &
jacket, arms folded to
the moon —
sun is setting in a mysterious
orange flameball over the
flat green lettuce fields
interlined with brown dirt
rows & roads & rails — beyond
the milky haze of this
dusk is the sea, unseen, the
Pacific to the Land of the
Rising Sun — the grass is
like hay, full of ants
that go to sleep at sundown,
dry shrubs, dry cottonwoods,
weeds, tart spice ferns of
Spring are now fuel for
Autumn Seres, — little
weedflowers close their
blossoms as the dusk birdsongs
titter — a farm in the
dreaming vale below, white-
washed barn, flat reposant
chickencoops & toolsheds —
I hear the distant hiway
trucks — sitting on the
mat of earth on the westernmost
American hill facing
the unknown east all
pink now — Sweet dewy
breeze hints of sea —
The railroad cries the
roundroll — I sleep on
the ground under the
stars like an Indian,
baseball hat, brakeman’s
lantern & tucked in
Levis & workshoes &
jacket, arms folded to
the moon —
a cow mourns below —
adios — now the sun
is bloodred, sinks behind
the mighty mountain trees
— the distant sad hiway
of little soundless cars —
the Salad Bowl of the
World sinks to dark, all
you need is a plane to
spray mayonnaise & chopped
scallions — eat a whole
valley raw — the figs
trees are shitting on the
ground, Mexican Motorists
pick walnuts from the
ground, the bums have
left a Tokay empty
under the avocado tree —
ripe California
adios — now the sun
is bloodred, sinks behind
the mighty mountain trees
— the distant sad hiway
of little soundless cars —
the Salad Bowl of the
World sinks to dark, all
you need is a plane to
spray mayonnaise & chopped
scallions — eat a whole
valley raw — the figs
trees are shitting on the
ground, Mexican Motorists
pick walnuts from the
ground, the bums have
left a Tokay empty
under the avocado tree —
ripe California
Where once I’d quake
at the thought of a
jawbreaking caboose hitting
in the slack, Wham! —
now, this morning, in
my bemused equicenter
I look up & see the
caboose crazy disheveled
blurred, as if I was seeing
it momentarily photographed
thru a trick mirror, &
feel no shock or wonder
nor hear a sound nor
move from my seat —
just
see
it as it
rocks to the bang
at the thought of a
jawbreaking caboose hitting
in the slack, Wham! —
now, this morning, in
my bemused equicenter
I look up & see the
caboose crazy disheveled
blurred, as if I was seeing
it momentarily photographed
thru a trick mirror, &
feel no shock or wonder
nor hear a sound nor
move from my seat —
just
see
it as it
rocks to the bang
Now that I understand
the railroad with my own
senses I see that Neal
was only jabbering about
the obvious again, & in his
unnecessarily involved &
confusing way — which has
to do with his sadism —
to
confuse
— unclear
& befrought with subtle
“lies” or “hiddens” —
“hidings” — concealings —
— from weird guilt —
The Bird of Chittenden
the railroad with my own
senses I see that Neal
was only jabbering about
the obvious again, & in his
unnecessarily involved &
confusing way — which has
to do with his sadism —
to
confuse
— unclear
& befrought with subtle
“lies” or “hiddens” —
“hidings” — concealings —
— from weird guilt —
OBRA PRIVATA
When you were a kid,
Duluoz, & the perfumed
aunts visiting & the
promise of quarters &
ice cream & lipstick
kisses & long afternoons
of gossip in the kitchen
as the sun gets red —
The Immortality &
Eternalness of all
that & everything that
ever happened to you
still waits for
that Obra Privata
pen, sorrow & faith —
(some of it in French!)
When you were a kid,
Duluoz, & the perfumed
aunts visiting & the
promise of quarters &
ice cream & lipstick
kisses & long afternoons
of gossip in the kitchen
as the sun gets red —
The Immortality &
Eternalness of all
that & everything that
ever happened to you
still waits for
that Obra Privata
pen, sorrow & faith —
(some of it in French!)
MORE SKETCHES CALIFORNIA
Sexy young Wop mother
waiting train at Burlingame
in Gray West Void with
blond son, campy meets
her brunette sister in a
suit — a semi wino in
brown & white saddles &
beat pants passes them
smoking with that “Hey
Jack, I’m tired & shore
weary” expression — Big
waiting train at Burlingame
in Gray West Void with
blond son, campy meets
her brunette sister in a
suit — a semi wino in
brown & white saddles &
beat pants passes them
smoking with that “Hey
Jack, I’m tired & shore
weary” expression — Big
sad baggage boy pushes
trunks on orange truck,
crepesoles, buttondown sweater,
short hair, his mother’s
making chocolate pudding
for him right now, his Pa’s
puttering in the garage —
trunks on orange truck,
crepesoles, buttondown sweater,
short hair, his mother’s
making chocolate pudding
for him right now, his Pa’s
puttering in the garage —
Hundreds of cars parked
in concrete back of
Bridge & Dugan Carpet
Specialists — A big
yellow squash in the
weeds near the railroad
fence of a California
bungalow settlement
with same backs —
Pale green dobe oil
company buildings —
(ranch style) —
Bay Meadows, the
starting gate high
on the far turn above
the immense Bay
flats & wreckage
of cranes & poles —
blah — The Machine Plain —
in concrete back of
Bridge & Dugan Carpet
Specialists — A big
yellow squash in the
weeds near the railroad
fence of a California
bungalow settlement
with same backs —
Pale green dobe oil
company buildings —
(ranch style) —
Bay Meadows, the
starting gate high
on the far turn above
the immense Bay
flats & wreckage
of cranes & poles —
blah — The Machine Plain —
The California Okie
businessman with bushy
eyebrows & red face
clumpin along adjusting
his belt butt in mouth
newspapers sticking out
of shroud coat, in
first rain of year —
in Hillsdale — thousands
of cars everywhere half
of them new (now’s
time to buy jalopy)
Brown-grass hills, green
redwoods, alpine lodge
houses of 30’s Calif. —
Gray murk on palms —
Western Awning Co.
palegreen stucco —
businessman with bushy
eyebrows & red face
clumpin along adjusting
his belt butt in mouth
newspapers sticking out
of shroud coat, in
first rain of year —
in Hillsdale — thousands
of cars everywhere half
of them new (now’s
time to buy jalopy)
Brown-grass hills, green
redwoods, alpine lodge
houses of 30’s Calif. —
Gray murk on palms —
Western Awning Co.
palegreen stucco —
&
Dentist
in Spanish
style — Dullness of
Texaco station, “Marfak
Lubrication” “Motor Tune
Up” — attendant pissing
water on windshield —
Dentist
in Spanish
style — Dullness of
Texaco station, “Marfak
Lubrication” “Motor Tune
Up” — attendant pissing
water on windshield —
— Rain on the
parched Calif. brown
grass hills — the sea
beyond — Ha! —
What will be debris
by Europe track? —
here is oil cans, beer
cans, paper (brown),
oiled tie-piles, boards,
cartons, lumberyards,
junkyards, cellophane —
parched Calif. brown
grass hills — the sea
beyond — Ha! —
What will be debris
by Europe track? —
here is oil cans, beer
cans, paper (brown),
oiled tie-piles, boards,
cartons, lumberyards,
junkyards, cellophane —
The winter in Italy? —
April in Paris! —
January in Venice! —
Summer in England
& Scandinavia!
Fall in North Africa!
Winter in Baghdad!
— !! —
April in Paris! —
January in Venice! —
Summer in England
& Scandinavia!
Fall in North Africa!
Winter in Baghdad!
— !! —
CONSUMER CREDIT &
the new E. A. Mattison
Budget Finance Plan
Inc. is just a loan
to someone to finance,
manufacture, distribute &
sell a product, such as
home freezers — But this is
going in debt in order
to pay it off with
savings. You borrow
money, buy or invest, &
then save to pay off your
debt: leaves U.S. with
record savings & record
debts at same time.
Consumer credit is one
arm of machine reaching
out to help other, but
under conditions of debt.
the new E. A. Mattison
Budget Finance Plan
Inc. is just a loan
to someone to finance,
manufacture, distribute &
sell a product, such as
home freezers — But this is
going in debt in order
to pay it off with
savings. You borrow
money, buy or invest, &
then save to pay off your
debt: leaves U.S. with
record savings & record
debts at same time.
Consumer credit is one
arm of machine reaching
out to help other, but
under conditions of debt.
In other words,
Debt
(Neal’s big hassle) is the
form, financially, the Machine
creates to
enslave
the
individual to
It
— for
instance, Sinatra owes taxes,
back taxes, & is “forbidden”
to go to Europe, also
Dick Haymes — The
collusion of Debt, the
“Tax,” & “Insurance”
are tying people closer
Debt
(Neal’s big hassle) is the
form, financially, the Machine
creates to
enslave
the
individual to
It
— for
instance, Sinatra owes taxes,
back taxes, & is “forbidden”
to go to Europe, also
Dick Haymes — The
collusion of Debt, the
“Tax,” & “Insurance”
are tying people closer
& closer to the great
Wheel Rack —
Don’t accept “Loan”
or “Arm” of Machine —
it is a deceptive enslavement
— simple souls mistrust
offers of loan for no
idle reason —
Wheel Rack —
Don’t accept “Loan”
or “Arm” of Machine —
it is a deceptive enslavement
— simple souls mistrust
offers of loan for no
idle reason —
The traffic problem is
merely that cars by the
millions enslave us to
new city systems requiring
hours of driving to & from
needs, on “congested” arteries,
naturally — where once
you’d-a walked — These
are all conditions pointing
to the imminent cancerous
death of America, the
Final Cog in the Western
Civ. Machine — the
supreme end-result of
early Gothic Phallic forms
is the skyscraper & the
oil drill & powered
compressor & pistons of
great engines — the Machine
copulates, men aren’t
allowed to any more —
merely that cars by the
millions enslave us to
new city systems requiring
hours of driving to & from
needs, on “congested” arteries,
naturally — where once
you’d-a walked — These
are all conditions pointing
to the imminent cancerous
death of America, the
Final Cog in the Western
Civ. Machine — the
supreme end-result of
early Gothic Phallic forms
is the skyscraper & the
oil drill & powered
compressor & pistons of
great engines — the Machine
copulates, men aren’t
allowed to any more —
The flesh gets numb,
but the soul doesn’t.
N’s feeling for “Marylou” in
that pix — her sexual
pinched pretty face — he
doesnt realize about flesh
is numb — till she’d die,
I say — Candlelight in
a beat room
but the soul doesn’t.
N’s feeling for “Marylou” in
that pix — her sexual
pinched pretty face — he
doesnt realize about flesh
is numb — till she’d die,
I say — Candlelight in
a beat room
The rat of hunger
eats at your belly,
then dies &’s left
to bloat there —
eats at your belly,
then dies &’s left
to bloat there —
WATSONVILLE GRAYMORN,
a barbershop near park
is doing big business at 9:45
AM — gray overcast, raw,
cool — The park grass
clip’t to the sward — a
thin grayhaired fastwalking
lady in low heels hustling
towards Main St. of 5&10’s
(Woolworths), “City Drug
Store,” Ladies Shoes,
Stoesser 335 Building,
with Physician X Ray
Doctor windows above, &
“Roberts” Just Nice Things
(Store) — In the barber
shop a Brierly-like barber
in neat glasses & white frock
lowers little boy from
a barbershop near park
is doing big business at 9:45
AM — gray overcast, raw,
cool — The park grass
clip’t to the sward — a
thin grayhaired fastwalking
lady in low heels hustling
towards Main St. of 5&10’s
(Woolworths), “City Drug
Store,” Ladies Shoes,
Stoesser 335 Building,
with Physician X Ray
Doctor windows above, &
“Roberts” Just Nice Things
(Store) — In the barber
shop a Brierly-like barber
in neat glasses & white frock
lowers little boy from
littleboy chair — Name
of shop is “Virg’s” —
with an Anson Weeks
band ad in glittering window
& a few bottles of
hair lotion — Little boy
was with mother who
trots him pushing him
along across park in her
big ass gray slacks, bandana
& crepesoles —
little boy has wool cap
over new hair cut —
Trucks of supermarkets
& Oakland Towel Co.
& just pickups without
lettering grumble around
park — The palms
hang dull in bleak
of shop is “Virg’s” —
with an Anson Weeks
band ad in glittering window
& a few bottles of
hair lotion — Little boy
was with mother who
trots him pushing him
along across park in her
big ass gray slacks, bandana
& crepesoles —
little boy has wool cap
over new hair cut —
Trucks of supermarkets
& Oakland Towel Co.
& just pickups without
lettering grumble around
park — The palms
hang dull in bleak
green bug-specked Void
— California on a
gray day is like being
in a disagreeable room —
Here is lineup around
barbershop: “Sodas
Shakes Sundaes” in old
fashioned Watsonville
sidewalk roof corner but
not Western; solid &
Victorian, once respectably
whitewashed, with
bas
relief
drape regalcords
& a “Surgeon” goldpaint
flecking off a round
baywindow — “Athletic
Supplies” — Sharp’s Sporting
Goods next in same bldg.
— fancy fishingpoles
— California on a
gray day is like being
in a disagreeable room —
Here is lineup around
barbershop: “Sodas
Shakes Sundaes” in old
fashioned Watsonville
sidewalk roof corner but
not Western; solid &
Victorian, once respectably
whitewashed, with
bas
relief
drape regalcords
flecking off a round
baywindow — “Athletic
Supplies” — Sharp’s Sporting
Goods next in same bldg.
— fancy fishingpoles
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