Bookish (21 page)

The driver politely ignored me as I sobbed in the backseat all the way to the airport. At one point he handed me a box of tissues and I let it all out.

I didn’t know how I could fix this, and I didn’t know how Isaac would ever forgive me, but I knew I would fight to get him back and I would find a way to make this better.

Until then I would be broken, damaged, half a girl walking in a world devoid of color, her heart left in the hands of Isaac James.

Until then, I was nothing.

Chapter Twenty Five

The minute I walked through the front door, dropped my bags and collapsed, it all became real to me.

Isaac, Chloe, the ultimate betrayal and the ultimate rejection.

The look on Auntie Abby’s face let me know how bad it was. The flight attendants had given up trying to comfort me and finally left me in miserable silence for the long flight. The cab driver seemed to immediately regret his decision to pick me up as soon I started to sniffle, thinking about how happy we’d been when we’d left from this very terminal.

By the time I got home, I was ready to hide under my blankets and not see anyone for days.

Auntie Abby needed no explanation, she could tell by the look on my face that something bad had happened. She left my luggage near the front door and took me to the kitchen for a tea.

I sat slumped in the chair and remembered how Isaac had filled our lives with his big energy and kindness.

And his fine ass.

I sighed dramatically, unable to contain myself. The kettle whistled and Auntie Abby set out the teapot with a plate of cookies and sat down across from me.

“I’m not gonna pry, but I can guess that something bad happened. Not only are you home a few days early, but you look like you lost your left leg,” she said, pouring me a cup of hot liquid.

I took a cookie and nibbled it, felt a pang of grief stab through me and devoured the entire thing in one bite. I chased it down with another.

Finally I said, “He sent me home. He kicked me out and sent me home, my life is ruined.”

“What happened? Anyone could take one look at you two and see how much you loved each other. That kind of thing doesn’t just disappear overnight.”

The bell rang just then and I leapt up, praying Isaac had come to his senses. I rushed to the front, brushing my hair from my eyes, and threw the door open.

Chloe stood on my steps. “Aubrey, oh my god, I just heard what happened. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe it, you two seemed so perfect for each other.”

I felt a switch flip and I unleashed my anger on her. I screamed, “You fucking bitch! You posted that horrible article! You spread his secret to the world and you did it to break us up!”

She tried her best to look shocked, but her eyes glittered with smug triumph. She brought her hand to her chest and gasped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would die before I hurt you, and the blog was clearly written by you. Maybe you were sleepwalking, but how would I ever know about his tattoos? I read them for the first time a couple days ago, with the rest of the world.”

“Fuck you,” I said, my voice even and dark, “you are dead to me, Chloe. I know you must have read my phone that night you stayed over, dug through all my texts with Isaac for the juicy bits. I want you to go, and if you ever come near me again I will break every bone in your pathetic, lying body.”

I turned and tried to close the door. Chloe stuck her foot in it and wedged it open. “You have to listen to me,” she demanded, “Isaac wasn’t good for you. His fame was going to your head. If in fact I am guilty of anything, it’s that I loved you so much that I didn’t tell you what an egomaniac you’ve been lately. I think anyone who knows you can agree with that.”

She looked pointedly at Auntie Abby. I pulled away from the door, but obviously Auntie Abby clued into what was going on, at least the gist of it, because she slammed the door against Chloe’s foot as hard as she could.

“I suggest you get the fuck off my property,” Auntie Abby told Chloe, “Next time I find you here, I’m calling the cops. Understand?”

“Auntie Abby, how could you? I’m like part of your family,” Chloe wailed.

“That’s what makes this betrayal even worse, that you would use your jealousy to destroy the first thing that Aubrey has ever had just for herself. You’ve spent years with her, parading your men in front of her, using her as your captive audience to feed your ego. Well, never again, missy, if I see your face again, you’d better hope I do call the cops before I bust your head in. Now get off my porch!”

I was stunned, I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever seen Auntie Abby that angry. She slammed the door and turned to me, there was still a fire in her eyes. I started to cry, fat tears streaming down my cheeks, my nose instantly clogging and my hair falling in my face.

“Come on dear,” she said, “we’re going to get through this. When you’re ready, tell me what she did, but until then I’m here for you.”

We finished the tea and I ate too many cookies, but by the time I got into the shower and washed my tears away, I felt like life might be okay again, eventually.

***

Life might be okay eventually, but it wasn’t even remotely close to okay for the next few days. I unpublished the original blog post, I wanted to delete it but I’d hired somebody to hunt down the IP address of the person who wrote it. Unfortunately they hadn’t been able to find out much at all.

I stayed away from social media and all blogs and news sites, I just couldn’t take any news about Isaac.

I texted him a few more times until this morning when I’d finally gotten a reply. It wasn’t from Isaac though, it was from his sister Madeline. She’d written,
if you continue to insist on harassing my brother, you will be hearing from our solicitors.

It felt like a punch to the stomach, his family threatening me with legal action. If only I could talk to him, convince him somehow that it had all been a horrible mistake, that it wasn’t me who revealed his most personal secret to the world.

If only I had one more chance.

I was stupid, I broke my own rule and searched his name on my laptop. I’d removed Chloe’s permissions from my website and blog, and erased every trace of her from there.

Sitting cross legged on my bed, the compulsion hit me. I had to see him, to know he was still out there somewhere. I wondered if he’d gone into hiding or was grieving.

The first article that popped up was on TMZ. The headline declared, “Model Isaac James recovers from blog betrayal.” I clicked the link and it took me to a photo with Isaac strolling down some unknown street in Paris. He wasn’t alone, there was some exquisite, lithe blonde model on his arm. They were laughing, they were happy, he was happy.

Just days after he’d kicked me from his life, he’d moved on.

I read a little more, including the official word from the family’s representative confirming that he’d been adopted. They made me look like the asshole, blaming me for using Isaac to dig for information in order to get traffic to my little book blog.

They said they were considering legal action, but wouldn’t push it if I complied with their demands to remove the post and cut off all contact with Isaac.

I snapped my laptop shut, curled in a ball, and cried my eyes dry for the hundredth time since I left him.

How was life going to ever be okay when it was so full of misery and heartache?

Chapter Twenty Six

About a week after I got back, Auntie Abby had apparently had enough of my moping. I’d called off work for the last two days and hadn’t bothered to shower or change my pajamas. I was a mess.

She came into my room just before noon, opened the window and said, “Come on, time to get ready to go. We have an appointment at two.”

“For what?” I asked with all the enthusiasm of an angry badger.

“Getting your mother’s ring sized. I also need to drop off some of my other things to be cleaned.”

“Oh forget about it,” I said and shut my eyes, “I’ll never need a ring anyhow, what’s the point?”

“The point is that you are miserable, and I can’t stand it. You stink. What you need is a shower, a good greasy meal and some fresh air. So you have half an hour and we’re leaving.”

I grumbled and protested, but she’d have none of it of course. Reluctantly I got in the shower, dragged on some old comfy clothes and tied my hair in a loose knot at the back of my head.

I looked slightly better than a crazy cat lady, maybe a couple notches up from homeless crazy cat lady.

She was waiting for me at the front door, she paused dramatically in front of the door and said, “Are you ready for this? It’s pretty bright out there, are you going to turn to ash?”

I smiled and said, “Very funny. Keep it up and I’m heading back upstairs.”

“Fine, fine, I won’t say another word. Come one, we’re going to be late, it took you longer than I thought, must have been quite a crust of dirt to shower away.”

I glared at her and she said, “Okay, I swear that’s the last one!”

We were just a couple minutes late for our appointment, but the jewelry store was deserted when we got there. It seemed like it had seen better days and had been around for a while. It was in a rough area that had once been upscale. The owner either refused to move or didn’t have the means.

The jeweler was around Auntie Abby’s age and they seemed to know each other.

He introduced himself as Mr. Spencer, but I could call him Robert, apparently he and Auntie Abby had gone to the same college back in the day. He measured my finger, started to look at Auntie Abby’s jewelry and I excused myself.

Small talk felt wooden and I couldn’t force myself to go through the motions. It almost hurt my head to fake it.

I wandered over to his display case of rings and pendants and scanned the products for anything that would catch my eye and distract me.

“Are you looking for anything in particular?”

I looked up and saw a young guy, cute, about my age. Normally, in my pre-Isaac days, I might have noticed him. Now, he could have been a shell of a human for all I registered the fact that he was young, male, and close to my age.

“No, I’m here with my aunt,” I replied and nodded towards them.

“I will admit, I was a little surprised to see a customer in here, it’s pretty dead most days.”

“I can see that. Have you thought about leaving the area? I have to admit, buying diamonds in a spot you might get robbed the minute you leave the shop is a little disconcerting.”

“Heh,” he laughed, “you just used the word disconcerting correctly in a sentence.”

“Um, yeah,” I replied.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that most girls these days seem to work on looking stupid, especially ones as attractive as you. It’s refreshing.”

I looked him up and down through narrowed eyes. I thought he was flirting with me. When he winked, I knew he was.

“Yeah, I’m not like most girls,” I said hastily, “I should see if my aunt is done.”

I scuttled across the shop like he’d lit my ass on fire. Flirting felt alien to me right now, the thought of it almost made me gag.

“You ready to wrap up here?” I asked.

The guy from the other side of the shop joined the owner and smiled at me. “We are,” Auntie Abby said, “have you met Drake? This is Robert’s nephew. He’s learning the trade so he can take over the business.”

“Yes, he is,” Robert said, “if he can ever make it to work on time.”

“I bike here,” Drake said and flashed me a smile, “traffic is tough. I have to make sure I make it here alive in the first place. Anyhow, pleased to meet you. Your name was…”

“Aubrey,” Auntie Abby answered for me.

“Yup, that’s me,” I said, “and we need to go.”

We left and drove home in silence. I had the sneaking suspicion that Auntie Abby had set the meeting up on purpose and it worried me that she would think I’d be interested in anyone for years to come.

***

It was time to face the world and, like a child throwing a tantrum, I just didn’t want to. I sat on the edge of my bed and went over every possible question I was going to face. Surely Sylvie had noticed the abrupt end of my vacation posts on Facebook and mentioned them to Marta. They both must have read the stories online.

I was scared that they would think I’d done it, that they would hate me for it.

I walked into the store barely put together. My hair was messy and I’d managed to apply a little makeup to my tear swollen eyes. I was a wreck, but I thought it might be good for me to get out of my little cocoon of misery and do something useful.

Marta was waiting for me by the till.

“I just want to get it out of the way before you start,” she said and my heart dropped. I braced for her firing me or blaming me or something equally terrible. “We read the articles online, and I can’t believe you would do such a thing.”

“It wasn’t me,” I replied, tears springing up behind my eyes.

“I know, dear,” she said, “that’s what I’m saying. I can’t believe you would ever do something like that.”

“It was probably that bitchy friend of yours, Chloe,” Sylvie said, popping out from behind a stack of books.

“It was,” I replied, “I never thought she could be capable of such deception.”

“Did Isaac end it right away, or did he give you a chance to explain?” Marta asked.

“His sister did it,” I said, “she blocked me from going back to our room. It was so humiliating.”

“That’s awful, why didn’t he have the balls to come see you himself? To look you in the eye and end it?” Sylvie demanded.

“I don’t know,” I replied. I know they wanted me to be upset about it all, to accuse Isaac of turning his back on me. Auntie Abby had hinted at it a couple times, but I couldn’t muster the strength to be mad. I just didn’t have it in me.

“Well, I hope he mans up enough that he speaks to you when he comes back, he owes you that,” Marta added.

I nodded and dove into my work. I just couldn’t discuss it right then and there.