Boreal and John Grey Season 1 (54 page)

“The dreams are old memories,” Ella forged on, “from when he was little.”
Well, mostly
. “Stress makes the nightmares worse.” She thought about it. “Emotional pain plays a role.” She frowned. “Finn, when I met you, you said you left Blackwater because the Shades were after you. When did the attacks start?”

Finn shook his head on the pillow. “Maybe two months ago,” he rasped. “It was after...”

“After Norma left?” Ella saw him grimace.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“What does this mean?” Mike frowned.

“What it means, Mike... is that I need to work on the details,” Ella hedged. “I have to talk some things over with you.”

“Details, huh?”

“I’ll find a way to fix this. Give me some time.”

“Time’s the one thing we don’t have,” Mike said, his face twisted in sympathy. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

***

Finn lay still, staring at the ceiling. His hands were fisted in the covers. She wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything would turn out okay, but why lie? She still hadn’t figured out how to save him.
Clues, Ella
. She had so many clues. Now she only had to find the answer.

Only that.
Right
.

“Ella?” Mike stood at the door, waiting.

Just the thought of moving, of thinking, made her want to weep with exhaustion. “Coming.”

She didn’t look at the bed as she got up and stepped outside, didn’t want to see the uncertainty and questions in Finn’s eyes. She felt uncertain enough on her own.

“What’s going on?” Mike hissed when she drew him out into the corridor, toward the window where she’d talked with Sarah not too long ago. “Is what Sarah says true? Is Finn this John Grey creature?”

Ella winced. ‘Creature’ sounded bad. “Yes, and I need your help to find a way to stop him from opening Gates.” She paused. “Killing him is not a solution in my book, okay?”

Mike scowled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Look, I have the mother of all headaches, and this hasn’t been my best week so far. But don’t insult me by insinuating I would stoop down to killing my friends because of some magic mumbo-jumbo.”

Ella realized her jaw was hanging slack. “Magic mumbo-jumbo? You’re an oracle. You know what’s going to happen if the Gates stabilize.” Then his words sank in. Mike considered Finn his friend.

Damn elf had won some hearts over, despite his dark glares and monosyllabic answers. It made Ella want to smile. “He’s not doing it on purpose,” she whispered. “Opening the Gates.”

“I know.”

“You really mean it?”

“Dude, honestly?” Mike muttered. “Finn saved my life quite a few times. Scott’s, too. He doesn’t strike me as someone hell-bent on destroying our world.” He hesitated. “Although all the good intentions in the world won’t help unless you know a way to cancel his magic.”

Didn’t Ella know it. If only it was that easy.

“What have you got?” Mike asked. “Where do we start?”

“Pain,” Ella said. It had to be the focal point of everything. “Fear. Instability and danger.”

“Come again?” Mike blinked.

“These feelings seem connected to Finn’s magic.” Ella slid down the wall to sit on the floor. She thunked her head back — gently. Her headache didn’t need any encouragement. “They lurk in the memories from his childhood, and are affected by the stress of running from the Shades and the white animals, the threat of the elves invading, and Dave coming after him. It’s a vicious cycle.”

“Then break the cycle.”

“Yeah, great idea. But how?” She massaged her temples. “The elves knew it, centuries ago. They said they caused him pain to feed his magic. But they also wed him to King Sirurd’s daughter, the Stabilizer, to increase his power.” She moved her hands over her face, to hide it. “I thought sending Finn away from me might be the solution. Maybe if I didn’t stabilize his portals, we’d all be safe.” Her eyes stung.
Dammit
. “But Dave said there are more Stabilizers in the world, and besides, there’s no guarantee it would work.”

“If you can’t remove the Stabilizer, remove the pain.” Mike was looking outside, at the garden. He did sound like an oracle, mysterious and giving useless advice.

“Yeah. Any ideas on how?” She wanted to scream and pound the floor with her fists. “How do I remove pain so deeply rooted? How do I remove the memories of all that’s happened to him?”

Mike sat down next to her. His jeans were ripped at the knees. Fashion statement, no doubt, not the result of a fight with Shades.

How the hell had she gotten him involved in this mess when she’d vowed to keep him out of it? She eyed him between her fingers, considered his determined expression.

She’d always thought of him as a little brother, ever since they’d become neighbors two years back, but the man she saw now was someone of great strength, taking disaster in his stride, and never unsure about the important stuff.

Like the people he cared about. What to be angry about and what to ignore. What to do. She was so lucky to be his friend. She lowered her hands from her face, reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

He patted her hand. “You’re important, you know. In all this.”

She scrunched up her face. “I know. Stabilizing and shit.”

“No, I don’t mean that.” He gave her an earnest look. “I mean for Finn. He doesn’t seem sad when he’s around you. He seems happy.”

Cheeks growing warm, Ella dropped her hand. “I’m glad.”

“And I’m serious. His magic seems to be wild right now. He cannot control it. When he’s in pain, he lashes out with it and opens Gates. What if you take away that pain by making him happy?” Mike shrugged. “Well, happier. If he feels happy and safe with you, his magic won’t work.”

“The times he sleeps next to me, he sleeps well, but then he has nightmares and...” She fisted her hands. “And then the Gates open all the way and let through all those animals. In his dreams, he’s not safe, or happy.”

“But you could change that.”

 “How can I change his dreams? They’re memories.”

“Memories aren’t set in stone. They’re malleable. Haven’t you followed any of the recent research on the topic?”

Now she was starting to feel like a scolded schoolgirl. She shook her head. “I thought I shared his dreams for a reason, but so far I can’t figure it out.”

Silence descended, thick and tense. Mike gaped at her.

Oh.
Oh
. “I didn’t tell you this, did I?”

“That you share Finn’s dreams?” Mike cursed softly. “People usually share bank accounts, a car, a house. Aren’t you overdoing it a little?”

Ella tried hard not to snort. The world was ending, Finn was recovering from a bullet in the chest, and she was about to go into hysterics. “You know everything I know. Any ideas?”

“You share Finn’s dreams. Wow...” Mike sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. He scratched at the dark stubble on his cheeks. “Well, I don’t think that the Shades trying to kill you, or Finn and you sharing dreams, is a coincidence.”

Oh good
. Ella groaned.

“The Shades said you’re a Stabilizer,” Mike said, “and obviously the elves believe, like you do, that your role is to make the Gates functional. But what if it’s not the Gates you’re supposed to be stabilizing but Finn’s dreams?

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Not at all.” Mike glanced at Finn’s door. “Fix his dreams, his memories, so that they don’t give him so much pain.”

Could Finn hear them talking? Ella swallowed hard. “I wish I could. And wouldn’t it be wrong, changing his memories? Won’t that be like robbing him of his past?”

“I don’t mean to erase them or take them away from him. But you can... mild them down.”

Ella thought about that. “I tried to be there for him when the bad stuff happens. But I can’t even talk to him in his dreams, or touch him.”

“Try harder?” Mike suggested.

Screw you, Mike
.

“Maybe you also need to feel safe,” Mike muttered. “You both need time together and... Oh my gosh, that’s so romantic. I’ve got it. You need to love him and make him forget all the pain.” He winked. “Some sex wouldn’t hurt.”

“Not sure it helped so far,” Ella muttered.

Mike raised both brows. “More and wilder sex, then?”

“Oh, shut up.” Her face flamed. “Let’s recap. You suggest I cuddle with Finn and make him feel safe.” And wouldn’t that be so freaking wonderful. “Also that I manage to become active in his dreams and change his memories to better ones, stopping his magic.” She sighed. “I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind a break from running for our lives, either. But how? It’s only a matter of time before Dave finds out we’re here. The information’s bound to leak out.”

She’d barely stopped talking when a thin buzzing reached her ears. Mike looked up.

Up
.

Oh shit
.

“Helicopters,” Ella breathed. “We got a leak already.” Either Sarah had freed herself, a member of the staff had discovered her, or Dave had found them all on his own. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the means.

Mike clenched his jaw and drew Sarah’s gun from his belt. “Let’s go face David Holborn.”

Us and what army?
Ella wanted to say but didn’t. It wasn’t funny.
Yeah, not funny at all
.

Chapter Seven

Control

Finn was swinging his legs off the bed when Ella entered his room. “I want my knives,” he rasped.

“What are you doing?” She reached his side just as he was struggling to stand. “You must rest.” She pushed him back down until he sank on the mattress. His smell of spice was faint beneath the layers of antiseptic and blood.

“They’re here,” he whispered. “I can’t run. I want my knives.”

“You just need to rest, you’ll be fine—”

“I can’t run,” he repeated. He looked up, his eyes pleading with her to understand. “I’ll give myself up.”

“No.” It came out as a half shout, and she forced herself to take a calming breath. “No way. We have a plan.”

Hope flashed through his eyes, then he looked away. “A plan.” There was a new tension in his body, as if he wanted to believe her but didn’t dare.

He was right to be distrustful. It wasn’t as if it was a real plan, just the seeds of one.

“The knives. If you’re going to give yourself up, what do you want them for?”

“Neith gave them to me,” Finn whispered.

The only thing he had from his world and from his past. She watched the emotions play on his face, the fear, the sorrow, the acceptance of his fate.

And she’d be damned if she let go of him that easily. 

“Listen to me.” She sat by his side and took his hand, tangled her fingers with his. He stared down at them.

“I don’t want you hurt,” he whispered.

“Listen,” she said again and turned his hand over to see his chafed knuckles. “There’s a way to stop the Gates from opening. But you’ll have to trust me.”

“I trust you.” No hesitation.

She closed her eyes for a moment, because she was going to fall apart and couldn’t, not now. Then she cupped his cheek, traced the high cheekbone and the sharp angle of his jaw. “You must do as I say. Lie down and look harmless. Say nothing. Leave the talking to me.”

“Talking?” he muttered.

She grinned at his confused frown. “I said I have a plan, didn’t I?”

An idea was forming in her mind. If only she managed to get Dave to listen before shooting again, maybe there was a chance.

***

Ella had just pulled the sheet up to Finn’s chest when the door to the room burst open. Armed police spilled inside, guns pointed.

She forced herself not to go for a weapon but stand still and wait. Glancing at Finn, she found him glaring at the ceiling, arms by his sides. His idea of looking harmless.

Then Dave entered, flanked by two men bearing machine guns. His face was set in stony lines, but otherwise he looked the same he always had — the same three-day stubble, the same bags under his eyes, the same grey hair. The seam that marked him as a Guardian was invisible to her now. She felt no fury; only fear and stomach-burning nerves.

Outside she could hear Mike arguing loudly with someone; probably asking to come inside.

The men spread out, surrounding Finn’s bed, sighting down at him. Finn let out a small sigh and closed his eyes.

She forced herself not to move. Her chest felt about to explode.

“Ella.” Dave stopped but gave no signal to his men to start shooting. Not yet, anyway.

“You found us,” she said, keeping her voice steady. “Good. We need to talk.”

He cocked his head to the side.
So human-like
. “Do we now?”

“You haven’t tried to kill me.”

“That could be remedied,” he said.

“Really?” She folded her arms over her chest. “Why are you trying to keep me alive, Dave?”

“You’re the strongest Stabilizer. If another John Grey comes, you’ll be connected to him as well. You can find him for us.”

“As soon as you kill Finn, another John Grey will be born to take his place. And now the elves know what to look for. They’ll find him since he’s a baby, protect him, manipulate him, and control him. They’ll raise him, Dave. In twenty years they’ll be back and there will be no stopping them. Is this what you want?”

Dave frowned. “What are you driving at?”

The room swam in her eyes. She drew a long breath. “I’m saying you’re making a huge mistake. Finn’s on our side, and for as long as he lives, there won’t be another. If he can control his magic, then the Gates will be safe, closed.”

“He’s out of control.”

“There’s a way to counteract his magic. Wouldn’t you rather take that chance and keep the Gates safe, than start the guessing game again, hoping the elves will make the same mistake and deliver the next John Grey to us?” She shook her head and instantly regretted it.
So dizzy
. “That would make them very stupid, though, and somehow I don’t think that’s true. I think this time they’ll keep John Grey so well guarded we won’t even know what hit us until they’re here, owning our world.”

Dave flinched.

“What
is
your mission?” Ella asked, taking a step toward him.

One of the men moved forward but Dave gestured for him to stay. “My directive is to stop the Gates from opening and protect this world from an invasion by the
Ljosaelfar
.”

“So your directive isn’t to kill John Grey.”

Still frowning, Dave shook his head. “No. Not specifically.”

“If there’s a way to control his magic so that no more Gates open, wouldn’t that fulfill your directive?”

Dave hesitated, his gaze shifting to Finn who was staring at them, his eyes wide. “Yes, it would. Am I to understand you found the way to control it?”

“I have.” Her nails bit into her palms. “I’m not just the strongest Stabilizer. I’m bound to Finn and with my help he can take control of his magic. But I’ll need your support.”

 “You’re asking me to take a tremendous risk. What if you fail? What if he opens a Gate that lets the elves through in spite of your efforts?”

“Minimize the risk, Dave.” God, for a moment it was as if she was back at HQ, arguing with him over a mission. “You saw that the Gates open close to where he is. Give us a safe place with plenty of empty space around for this... experiment. Post the army, get the missiles ready, whatever’s needed. Think about it. It’s your only chance to get a John Grey who’s on your side.”

Dave’s eyes narrowed. 

A hush fell on the room. The air vibrated with tension. And Dave was humming, which meant he was mulling over her words.

Please, dear god. Please
.

Nobody shifted for what felt like years, the only movement the slight wavering of the guns. Dave’s gaze seemed turned inward, and Ella hoped those cogs and spiral wheels were turning in the right direction.

Come on, Dave. One chance
.

“What do you need?” he eventually asked.

Air rushed into her lungs, and she couldn’t take it all in. The world sparkled, black blossoming in the spaces between, and her knees buckled.

Distantly she thought she heard Finn call her name, but couldn’t answer.
Oh no
, she had the time to think,
who will stop him from falling asleep now?

And then it all went black.

***

Voices argued over her head in urgent tones, and somewhere in the warm, soft darkness, Ella knew there was something she should be doing.

She clawed her way back to the light and it stabbed into her eyeballs. Squinting, she assessed the situation.

She lay on a narrow bed, feet raised, a cold pack on her brow. Mike and Dave were discussing right by her side, but when she shifted, thinking to sit up, the room swayed. Gritting her teeth, she shut her eyes, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

“No,” Mike was saying, “you don’t need to stick them in the middle of a desert. You’re exaggerating.”

“Exaggerating?” Dave choked. “Have you seen what comes through the Gates? And that’s just the scouting animals. I need a place I can control one hundred per cent.”

“How about a military base? Or a ghost town? I think there’s one nearby. Shavertown, something like that.”

“What’s wrong with a desert?”

“You want Finn to feel safe. Sleeping quarters and a kitchen to cook will go a long way toward giving him a feeling of normalcy.”

Ella reached out and grabbed the first thing she could. Mike’s belt. She tugged until Mike turned, brows lifting in surprise.

“You’re awake,” he said.

Why did people always feel the need to state the obvious? Ella dragged him closer. “Finn,” she said, wishing the room would stop spinning. “Where?”