Born Into Trouble (Occupy Yourself Book 1) (16 page)

“Beautiful, Andy.” Benny’s whisper was quiet, soft in the hallway outside Ruby’s hospital room. The heel of Andy’s boot held the door propped open; Ruby lay asleep in bed with two bassinettes full of babies next to her. “Twins? That’s crazy.” He knew his grin was crazy, too. Seeing how happy his brother was had bent something inside him clear over, making him grin like a loon at everyone.

“I know.” Andy’s answering whisper was just as soft. “I had no idea. Her belly was big, but I’ve never been around a pregnant woman before. How was I to know she was eatin’ for three? She wasn’t talking to me about it. And with her determined to keep the secret?” He sighed heavily, exhaustion and a deep joy playing across on his face. “Freaked me right the fuck out, I’ll tell you. Glad they all came through okay.” Shaking his head, he lowered his already soft voice more, barely even a whisper when he said, “If anything happened to her again, Benny? I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Nothing bad’s ever going to happen to her,” Benny spoke the words he most wanted to be true. Ruby had more than grown on him; she had quickly become a stable factor in his life, and like his brother, he couldn’t imagine life without her around.
Sister-in-truth
. “Your brothers will all see to that.” Andy turned to look at him when he spoke and Benny grinned. “Even me,” he hesitated only a second before continuing, “Slate.” It was past time to acknowledge the change in his brother, the depth of loyalty he’d found, building on the foundation he had with the Rebels.

Grinning widely, Slate tipped his chin down, staring at the floor for a minute. When he spoke, his voice was still quiet, but now thick with intensity, giving Benny a glimpse of the emotion he had deep inside.
Like my music
. “Proud as fuck of you, shrimp. You’ve done a hard thing and stuck with it.”
Shit
. He hadn’t lied to his brother about slipping yet, and his insides quivered as he came to a decision, unwilling to utter that lie now. Especially now, standing in the open doorway to Slate’s entire future.

“You were in Colorado.” He kept his voice quiet, and took a step back and to the side, trying to ensure his words wouldn’t carry in to taint the air where Ruby and her two babies were sleeping. “I fucked up. Only the once, I
swear
it was just once. But, big brother, I won’t lie to you. Not even by omission.” He swallowed hard. “I fucked-up.”

“I know.” At his brother’s flat tone, Benny lifted his head to see Slate staring steadily at him. “It was the night I called about Mom. I knew it. Had a feeling. Then your sponsor called Ruby, and I
knew
.” Slate’s voice rose, anger taking over as he said, “First taking Ruby away from you, and then talking about Mom? Knew I’d tipped you right the fuck over the edge.
Knew it
.” The expression on his face was twisting away from the joy infusing it only moments ago, rage beginning to spin inside Slate. Not at Benny, but at himself.
Shit. I need to make him understand.

“Stop it.” Benny’s words were firm and drew his brother’s gaze to him. “Just stop it.” He stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans to hide the shaking. “Not your fault, brother. Not yours. Don’t do that. Doc taught me people have to let me take responsibility for what I do. GeeMa always blamed Mom. I blamed Mom, too. Blamed you. But it’s not right, and you know it. It’s on me. I took a step back down the ladder, only a couple of steps. Then I caught myself, set my feet on the rungs, and climbed again. That is
mine
. If you let me own those wins, then you can’t take responsibilities for the losses from me, brother.” Slate stared at him, his eyes still tortured.

More was needed. “I had a chat with Mason a few months ago.” It felt odd to characterize the nearly one-sided conversation as a chat, but he still couldn’t pass Mason’s words on to his brother. Not now, not ever. Or at least not the entirety of the conversation. “He said something that stuck with me. Blood makes me a relative.” Slate grinned, apparently he knew the other end of the statement, but Benny forged on anyway. “Loyalty makes me family. Your brother. I haven’t earned that. Not yet. But I’m trying. I am. Swear, I am. Every day. Every meeting. Every breath I take sober, I do it for me. For you. For everyone I love.” He gestured towards the hospital room. “Everyone. Even the little peanuts I haven’t yet met. Every day. One step at a time.”

“Fuckin’ proud of you.” Intensity back in his voice, Slate reached up and gripped his shoulder, shaking him back and forth in place. Then he blew out a hard breath. “We’re done with this topic. You’re doing good, shrimp. Love you, man. You’re right. Put it behind you, behind us, move forwards.” He reached out, pushed the door open wide, and called out softly, “Baby, got a visitor wants to meet Allen and Dani.”

Benny peered inside to see a sleepy Ruby lifting her head from the pillow, staring at them groggily before looking around. Her face softened when she saw the babies sleeping peacefully. “Don’t wake ‘em.” Her words were slurred from exhaustion, not meds, and Benny knew by her unclouded eyes, barely suppressing a shudder of relief for something he didn’t know had worried him.
Everywhere I look
. “’S tiring stuff, being born.” With awe in her voice, she told Benny, “I’m a mommy, Ben.”

“Yeah, you are, Rubes. A beautiful mommy.” Leaning in, he brushed her cheek with a kiss. “Most beautiful one I’ve ever seen.”

***

Benny was walking towards the elevator when he recognized Eddie in the hallway. She was being escorted by a big biker wearing a Rebel patch, his arm around her waist, hustling her along. Luce had been busy babysitting a lot over the past couple of weeks as Bear took a trip out east, but he hadn’t heard about anyone being hurt or sick, certainly nothing that would give him an inkling of why they were rushing around in the hospital.
Shit
.

“Eddie,” he called, but they turned the corner before he could catch up. Forcing his legs to long strides, he startled when a hand gripped his arm, pulling him to a stop. Swinging around to berate whoever it was, he stopped short when he recognized Mason.
Shit
.

“Bear’s out of surgery,” Mason said, walking fast and pulling him up the hallway in the same direction Eddie had gone. “He was bad when we left Cali.”

Surgery? Cali? California? What the hell, he was out east, not on the west coast
. Benny held his tongue, instinctively letting Mason say what he needed to, impatiently waiting until the end to voice his questions. Trusting he would tell him. After what Mason had said to him, the loyalty he’d witnessed time and again, he did trust Mason.

Benny had found out just what kind of man Mason was in a conversation with Slate before the wedding. Learned how fate had brought his brother to a bar in Chicago at a time when he needed something to believe in, someone in whom he could place his trust and faith. Found out in a way that cut deeply how Mason had been the only person in his life that Slate could lean on with full knowledge that the support would always be there. Unwavering. Love so deep, Mason would take it on himself to tear away a parasite like Benny when Mason saw the pain being inflicted on a man he called brother.
Loyalty makes you family
.

“Worse when we landed. Doc rushed him out of the ER and into surgery about three hours ago.” They turned the corner, and he saw a large cluster of black leather in the hallway outside what looked like a waiting room ahead.

“Luce…she’s holdin’ it together. Barely. Needs a strong shoulder right now.”
Why didn’t she call me?
Mason pulled him to a halt, looking down into Benny’s face, seeming to search for something. Finally, he found it and pulled in a deep breath. “Trusting you to do this right, brother.” At
that
word from Mason, he froze in place. Instinctively he knew it meant something, even if he wasn’t sure he fully understood Mason’s use of it now.
Loyalty
. “Trusting you to do her right. You take care of her, Ben. She needs you.”

Stepping back, Mason gave him a shove towards the room. “I need to go back, be there for Slate. For Ruby.” Shaking his head, Mason closed his eyes for a moment. “Fucking lies. I need to be there for me, see the promise of goodness born today. See the joy in our brother’s eyes. Need that.” Pointing up the hallway, he gave Benny’s shoulder a push. “Go find what you need, Ben.”

Quick steps taking him the rest of the way, he paused in the doorway, seeing Maggie holding Eddie, both women crying, but in what seemed like relief rather than sorrow. Taking a swift look around the room, he caught sight of Luce at the same time she saw him, and he stood stock-still because the moment she laid eyes on him, she was on the move, running to him. Long legs eating up the short distance, still she gained speed with every stride until suddenly she was there, right there, in his arms, hers wrapped around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder. Folding herself around him, even as he wrapped her up, feeling the sobs shaking her frame. “I got you, honey. I got you.”

It was hours later when Eddie finally walked out of ICU. Lips curled in a small smile, arms wrapped around herself. She was bruised and battered, looking like she’d been days without sleep. Through listening in on the conversations swirling around him as they waited for word, Ben had found out she’d been kidnapped and taken to California. Bear, Mason, and a bunch of the Rebels flew out and organized what sounded like a recovery mission coordinated with the Navy
and
local cops. Benny shook his head again, thinking about how absurd it was to imagine the bikers being avenging angels.
Black leather riding to the rescue. And how bizarre, Ruby and Eddie, how many people know
two
individuals who have been kidnapped?

Arm around Luce’s shoulders, he pulled her to her feet, steadying her as she swayed in place facing Eddie. The boys had headed home with Maggie a couple hours ago; even Rafe so tired he hadn’t argued.

“Doc says he’s out of the woods. They’re going to keep him sedated for a while, so he can get past what will be the worst of the pain. They want to make sure his lung stays inflated.” She held a hand out, palm up, and one of the bikers gripped it, holding on tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Luce turned and buried her face against Benny’s chest, shoulders shaking as she wept. Benny felt muscles all over her body beginning to loosen and relax as she leaned into him. He waited until her tears slowed before asking, “Ready to go home, honey?” She nodded, and he turned her, pointing her first towards Eddie where she got a long, close hug, the easy affection between the two women a clear indication of how deeply they had bonded.

Benny reached across once they were in the car, gathering up Luce’s hand and pulling it over to rest on top of his leg. “You okay, honey?” From the corner of his eye, he caught the movement as she shook her head. “He’s gonna be okay, right?” A nod, her hair rustling across the collar of her shirt. “Wanna talk about it?” Back-and-forth her head went—a definite no. “Okay. We can be quiet if you’d like.” In response, her hand squeezed his tightly, silently conveying her thanks.

He pulled off to the side of the road in front of Bear’s new house, seeing there were a few lights still on in the bottom level of the house. The location meant the living room, so it was probably Maggie. He held Luce’s hand while they moved up the walk, and opened the door as she called a soft greeting to the silent house. Maggie appeared in the doorway to the large living room, a smile on her face. “Eddie called,” she said right away, letting Luce know she didn’t have to do a debrief, and he smiled his thanks at her. She asked, “Want something to eat before you hit the hay?”

Luce shook her head, letting go of Benny’s hand to move forward and embrace the woman. Resting her cheek against Maggie’s, she stayed there a moment, both women holding tightly. When they released each other, Benny slipped his palm around Luce’s hip, tugging her backwards so she could lean against him. “Let’s get you to bed,” he said softly, and she nodded. Trudging up the stairs, he let her lead the way. The Crews hadn’t lived there long, and he’d never had occasion to see her bedroom, so other than it being upstairs, wasn’t sure where they were headed.

She passed three closed doors before opening the next one on the left, not pausing as she pulled him inside. He froze when she shut the door firmly behind him, but she didn’t even glance at him, moving to put her purse down. Using her toes to push off her sneakers, she gently kicked the discarded footwear to the side and then, with a huge sigh, dropped to the end of the bed, falling to her back, hair swirling around her head. Arms outstretched, she was staring up at the ceiling, and Benny was left standing awkwardly by the door.

“He’s a good man.” These were the first words she’d spoken since before leaving the hospital, and the sound of her voice startled him. There was sorrow and sadness weighing down every word. “A genuinely good man. Honorable. Kind. Decent. Everything a father should be. Look at all the things he’s done for the boys and me.” Her head rolled on the light-colored comforter, and she looked at him. “You don’t know what it was like before he came into our lives.
Papa
wasn’t home a lot, and he…well, his focus wasn’t on us, most of the time. We lived in a cockroach-infested apartment complex where we had to sleep on the floor if the weather was good.” He must have looked confused because she laughed and rolled up to one elbow, curling her legs up onto the bed.