Born of Defiance (34 page)

“Because of my history of write-ups and disciplinary problems. The fact that I've been disrespectful to my superiors and my blatant disregard for check-ins and military protocol.”

“Can't you appeal it?”

“To whom, Felicia? Eriadne herself busted my rank. Who's going to believe the word of a worthless bastard against the tadara? I can't even apply to regain a captain's rank for three years.”

“I'm so sorry, Talyn.”

“I should have just let them kill me.”

“Don't say that!”

“Why not? It's true. What am I fighting for? Really? No matter what I do, it all comes down to the fact that I have no paternal lineage. Even when I'm ten times better than anyone else, I'm seen as only half as good.” He touched his bald head and cursed at the reminder of what they'd done to him. “A lieutenant, a fucking lieutenant. Do you know what kind of shit assignments they're going to stick me with? I can't even fly with a rank that low. It relegates me back to flight deck prep. Cleaning toilets.” He could hear the mockery already. Gah, he was so sick of the abuse.

“Tizirah Tylie said that your mother would be your CO. She won't—”

“I'm a lieutenant, Felicia. I'm no longer qualified for palace duty. I have to go back to reg-staff.” Disgusted, he stared at the wall as bitter resentment and hatred filled him.

Felicia swallowed against the wave of tears she felt for him. There was so much raw agony in his eyes that it made her ache. “Did Anatole say why they did this to you?”

He let out an acrimonious snort. “Because they hate my parents.”

“What?”

He nodded. “My father pissed them off in school and I look enough like him that it chafes the tahrs's ass.” He met her gaze. “But most of it is because my mother refused to pledge with Anatole when she was younger. They can't attack her. She's a high-lineaged female, and as such, she has rights through the courts.”

Rights that were denied to him.

“Is there nothing your mother can do?”

“No. And you can't breathe a word of this to her. It would kill her to know they attacked me because of her past with them.”

No wonder he'd refused to look at his mother in the hospital. It made total sense now.

“Why hasn't he used you to blackmail her?”

“Anatole can't. Her family is equal in status to your father's. For that threat, she could have him arrested. He's hoping if he abuses me enough, I'll say something to my mother and her guilt will force her to negotiate with him.”

“He doesn't know you very well, does he?”

Talyn shook his head. “They spanked my ass the moment I was brought into this world. Why the hell should anything change after that? I'm not his pampered, pansy ass. Beatings I can take. Even being a lieutenant. I survived it once. I can survive it again.”

But there was more to it than that. He was sugarcoating it for her and she knew it. She'd heard her half brothers laughing about the hazing that was done to low-ranking officers. Hazing that was mitigated depending on the families the officer was tied to. She could only imagine how horrific it would be for someone like Talyn, who had no lineage protection at all.

“Who is your father, Talyn?”

“What difference does it make?”

He was right. But …

“Can't you go to his family? His mother could adopt you as hers.”

“She won't. My mother tried that when I was an infant, and she threw my mother out of her house, insulting her the entire time. The only one who was willing to do it was his grandmother, but his grandfather refused to allow me their name. He said I wasn't worthy of carrying their lineage. If my father was such a disappointing son, he could only imagine how much worse
I'd
be.”

“Your mother told you that?”

He shook his head. “She would never hurt me that way. I was in school when my mother was wounded and couldn't come get me. My gre yaya showed up, and just as I got into her transport, my gre paran arrived, yanked me out of my seat, and threw me to the ground with my things. He told her to leave me in the gutter where I belonged. The rest, he sneered in my direction while they screamed at each other in the parking lot.”

She was aghast at the horror he emotionlessly described. “He did that at your school? How old were you?”

“Eight.”

Appalled, she stared at him. “Your great-grandfather told your great-grandmother to leave you at school, alone, with no one to care for you, while your mother was in the hospital?”

He nodded.

“Please tell me your great-grandmother didn't do that.”

“She had no choice.”

Oh dear gods … “What happened to you?”

“My teacher took me home with her and kept me until my mother was released.”

Felicia ground her teeth as fury seethed deep inside. How could anyone do that to a child? How? It made her feel selfish and bitchy for everything mean she'd ever said to her father for his actions that were nowhere near on par with this.

“So, no, Felicia. My father's family despises him for shaming them, and me because I come from him. As far as they're concerned, whatever happens to me is no concern of theirs. All I have in this entire universe is you and my mother.”

And Galene had no idea how bad things were for her son. For the love of his mother, he said nothing to hurt Galene's feelings.

Never had she loved Talyn more than she did right now. Rising up on her knees, Felicia pulled him against her and held him tight. “I think you're wonderful, Talyn. You're more Andarion than anyone I've ever known or met. Or even heard of. You have the heart of a mighty War Hauk.”

Talyn flinched at her choice of words. In her mind, she thought she was complimenting him. After all, his father's bloodline went straight back to the most heroic legend of their people. What it really did was slap him in the face and remind him of the heritage that should have been his.

But right now, none of that mattered while Felicia held him. She didn't see a worthless bastard. She didn't see a victim or a mongrel. The one they'd all thrown away.

In her beautiful eyes, he was still honorable.

Taking her hand, he led it to his cheek and closed his eyes so that he could savor the softness of her flesh on his. “You are and will always be
munatara a la frah
.”

Felicia choked on a sob as he called her the most precious lady of his life. In Andarion, it was the highest avowal of love. Something no male said lightly.

Tears filled her eyes as fear tore through her. As much as she loved him, she couldn't tell him the news she'd been given earlier that day from her agency, that they were refusing to allow her to contract with Talyn when their probationary period ended. Even though she was no longer a virgin, they had a new patron for her.

One with more money and a much stronger lineage that Talyn wouldn't be able to fight against. Because of her contract with the agency, she was going to have to leave Talyn forever.

But how could she tell him that after this blow? It would devastate him. He had no way of fighting their decision. No way of keeping her contracted to him.

You could buy out your contract and live with Talyn without one.

If she were human, it would be easy. On Andaria, that would make her a whore. Lower than even a prostitute. No male would ever consider her fit for dating or pledging, and marriage would be out of the question. Forever.

All relationships on Andaria were done through legal contract negotiations, with a third party overseeing them. With all parties, and their families, signing off on it.

While the life of a companion wasn't the most perfect way to exist, it was legally acceptable. Socially acceptable. But with it, she was forced to bend to agency rules.

What do I do?

She couldn't decide right now. There was no way. And whatever decision she made, she wasn't going to discuss it with him. Especially not while he was hurting like this.

Talyn kissed her hand. “It's okay if you don't love me, Felicia. I'm just glad I have you with me. And now that I've lost my rank, I fully expect you to leave when our contract expires. You're too decent a female to stay with someone you know has no future of any kind. You should be with a male who can give you a lineage and children you can be proud of. Someone who can protect you.”

“Tay—”

“Shh,” he said, cutting her off. “There's nothing more to say. Just because I get hit in the head a lot doesn't mean I'm stupid or delusional. You're planning to be a great doctor one day, and while your parents aren't married, you have both lineages. Once you have your degree, you'll have your choice of husbands. That's how it should be.”

“And you should have your choice of females.”

Talyn sighed. She had no idea how right she was. His paternal grandfather had been pledged to Tizirah Cairistiona at one time. The Baturs had practically beaten down the door of his grandparents to pledge their daughter to his father. Had his parents married, he would have been Talyn of the Warring Blood Clan of Hauk—the only male of his entire generation who could legally use that prestigious name. To the Andarion race, that was even more impressive than Jullien of the Most Sovereign Blood Clan of eton Anatole.

But that was a title that would never be his.

Not as long as the royal family was in power, and not as long as the old traditions stood.

You could change that.

All he had to do was call her brother and help WAR overthrow their government.

Closing his eyes, Talyn wanted to play by the rules. He wanted to believe that hard work was rewarded. Yet the one thing he'd learned in the Ring was that sometimes you had to take that cheap shot. Even when it was repugnant. Even when you didn't want to. Sometimes, just sometimes, you had no choice. No one could win a fair fight when your opponent didn't respect the rules.

Fight fire with fire.

He'd spent his entire life doing what he was supposed to. And they'd figuratively gelded him for it. It was time to leave the gloves in the dressing room. Time to meet them on the terms they'd set when they bound his hands behind his back.

Degradation was a bitch and it was time he acquainted her with Jullien and the entire Anatole family.

 

C
HAPTER
18

Felicia sat outside her broker's office with a sick lump in her stomach. For three days, she'd wrestled with what to do about leaving Talyn.

She still had no answer.

The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. That alone told her what she
needed
to do. But it was much easier said than done. Especially since he seemed to want her out of his life.

“Felicia? The director will see you now.”

Swallowing hard, she got up and went into the elegant office where her broker, the director of her agency, sat behind his ebony wood desk. He smiled as he saw her.

“Come in, Felicia.” He gestured to the padded chair in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”

Her limbs trembling, she obeyed.

“I'm assuming you want to talk about the new contract?”

“Yes. Very much so. I don't understand how I ended up being offered to someone.”

“Actually, you weren't. They called and asked for you by name. Apparently, the secretary who contacted us had been calling all the agencies, looking for you, but all they had was your first name and your patron's name. The female I spoke to was elated to have finally located the right agency that held your contract.”

“Female?”

“Mmmm, yes.” He pulled up a file on his computer. “The terms are incredible. While your condo won't be so grandiose or that close to your school, your new patron is willing to buy out the current contract, plus pay a staggering fee to the agency to convert you before your probation ends.”

Felicia gaped. One of the items she'd been firm on was the location of her condo. While Talyn had graciously provided her with a transport, most patrons didn't, and Eris was too congested to rely strictly on public transportation for her classes.

“I know!” her broker said, mistaking her stunned facial expression for approval. “It's incredible that he'd be so generous. But he said that he wants your services immediately … within a standard Andarion week.”

“May I ask who this patron is?”

He pushed a folder toward her. “Commander Merrell Anatole.”

Bile rose in her throat as anger ripped through her. She gently pushed the folder back toward her broker. “The answer's no.”

He arched a brow. “You don't have a say in this. Especially given the amount he's offering to pay.”

Aghast, she stared at him. “I believe I do.”

Now anger darkened his eyes as he glared at her. “If you turn this down, we won't offer a contract to your current patron. Period. You'll have to start the process over again. Only this time, you're no longer a virgin and you won't have the same bargaining power you had before.”

Rising to her feet, she tapped the folder with her fingertip. “This isn't about me. This is the commander trying to hurt Talyn, and I refuse to be a part of that. The only reason
he's
doing it is because we have a ban on his brother contracting with the agency after he killed a companion. No offense, I'd sooner walk the streets as a prostitute. If you force me to do this, I will leave this agency.”

He scoffed at her bold words. “You can't. You owe us ten years of fees at your current contracted rate. That's what you agreed to when we took you on and trained you.”

“Fine. I'll buy my contract back.”

“And do you have a half million credits? Those are the buyout terms and fees.”

Her vision dimmed at the amount. Dear gods, if she had that kind of money, she'd never have had to sell her virginity. “That wasn't what I signed on for.”