Born of Fire (32 page)

He nipped at her playfully. “Want to try for ecstasy?”

She arched one brow. “You mean it gets better?”

“Just wait.” He stepped away from her and removed his pants.

Shahara’s mouth went dry as desire and panic mixed inside her. He was magnificent. And terrifying. Her heart pounded as she looked at the evidence of his attraction to her.

I’m about to have sex
. . .

Me.

She swallowed and fought the urge to run for the door. This was it. She couldn’t back out now, and deep inside she admitted that leaving was the last thing she really wanted to do.

No, she’d be strong. She wanted this.

She wanted him.

Syn returned to the bed. Hesitantly, he moved his hands to the opening of her shirt. “May I?”

Warmed by his question, she nodded.

He pulled it off and left her bare before him. A chill stole up her spine as the cool air brushed against her naked skin. She felt terribly vulnerable and shy.

And then Syn was there, pulling her into his arms. Once again he rolled over, placing her on top of him.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, running his hands over her.

Heat stole up her cheeks as she leaned forward to claim his lips. She skimmed her hands through his hair, delighting in the silken strands that slid through her fingers as her own hair cascaded forward to drape around them in a dark curtain.

He ran his hands over her back and down her buttocks. Fire coursed through her veins and a painful throb started that erased her memories of Gaelin’s brutality.

Even though a part of her was scared, she knew this was the one man who wouldn’t hurt her.

And she ached for him in a way unimaginable.

Syn closed his eyes as he savored the taste of her body. He’d never made love to a woman who knew anything about him. At least nothing more than the lies he’d told her.

But Shahara had stared into the abyss of his soul and seen the monster that lurked there. And she hadn’t run.

Why?

What made her able to see the man when no one else ever had? In this one moment, he would give her anything.

Even his life.

I’m lost.

Lost in a way he’d never been before. Not even with Mara. Shahara made him want to be something more than a drunken thief and a paid killer.

She made him want to be a hero . . .

Pulling back, he stared at her dilated eyes and saw the ragged pleasure on her face. And as he gazed at her, he realized the truth.

I’m not lost. I’m found.

She’d pulled him out of the darkness of his past and brought him into a light he’d never known existed. Here in this one moment, he understood intimacy in a way he’d never known it before.

Shahara knew him. She knew the horrors of his past. The degradations and humiliations he’d suffered, and still she was with him by choice. Closing his eyes,
he savored the sensation of her fingers laying against his cheek. He covered her hand with his own and marveled at how such a gentle touch could bring him to his knees.

Blows he could take. But it was the gentle hand of a woman that could truly destroy him.

How was that possible?

I’m a fool.

But only for her.

Shahara hesitated as she saw the troubled look on his face. “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “Not at all.”

“Then why do you look so stern?”

Syn gasped as her soft hip brushed against his cock and his body exploded with pleasure. For a moment, he thought he might actually come from it, but he bit his lip hard enough to make sure the pain kept his release at bay.

When he could finally speak again, his voice was raw. “It’s not directed at you, love. I’m just trying not to embarrass myself.”

“How?”

He laughed as he realized that for a woman who knew her way around the universe and could handle the deadliest of criminals, Shahara was terribly naive. “Have you ever heard the expression, ladies first?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it’s truer in bed than it is anywhere else.”

“I don’t understand.”

He kissed her brow that was wrinkled by confusion. “Trust me, sweetness, you’re about to.”

Shahara was completely baffled until he brushed his hand against the part of her that was on fire. She shivered as his fingers stroked her. For a moment, she was
paralyzed by how good it felt. Never had she experienced anything like it.

His gaze held hers as he rolled her over and placed himself between her legs. A wave of embarrassment hit her, but before she could even move, he scooted down in the bed until he was able to dip his head and take her into his mouth.

Throwing her head back, she cried out at the sheer ecstasy of what his tongue was doing to her. “Syn?” she breathed.

He answered her by gently scraping his whiskers against her cleft.

A fierce tremor shook her as he licked and teased until her body exploded into the most incredible pleasure she’d ever known.

Syn growled as he felt and tasted her orgasm. He looked up and took pride in the fact that he’d given her something no one else had. His breathing ragged, he slid himself up so that he could lay by her side and stroke her breast.

Shahara was dumbfounded by her body as Syn pulled her on top of him and kissed her lips.

He nibbled and teased. “Did you like that?”

She nipped his chin. “Not even a little. It was completely horrifying.”

He laughed at her sarcasm, then his eyes turned dark while he slid his hand down her back, to her hip. “Are you ready for what comes next?”

Him inside her.

Biting her lip, she was overwhelmed by his kindness.

Because he knows exactly what was taken from you
. His innocence had been stolen from him, too.

“I’m ready.”

His gaze held hers as he lifted his hips and slowly
impaled her. Shahara gasped at the strange thickness of his body filling hers. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable.

“You okay?” he asked, his entire body tense.

She nodded.

He cupped her face in his hands. “All right, love. It’s entirely up to you now. You set our pace and I’ll abide by it.”

“I don’t understand.”

He lifted his hips up, driving himself even deeper inside her. She gasped as a wave of intense pleasure pierced her body. Slowly, he showed her the rhythm.

Syn watched as she took over and found the pace she was most comfortable with. He watched her with hooded eyes, amazed by her spirit and passion.

This was the kind of woman a man dreamed of keeping in his life. The kind of woman who would fight for him and defend him to the end.

If only he could have been someone different. Someone she deserved.

Shahara delighted in his touch as he slid his hand down to stroke her cleft while she moved against him. Leaning her head back, she savored the raw feel of his body inside hers and the sweet satisfaction that pounded with each thrust and stroke.

Suddenly, she forget all the fear that had haunted her most of her life. Syn freed the part of her that had been locked away and she wanted to laugh with the triumph of it. It bubbled up through her with wave after wave of happiness until she was sure she couldn’t keep her laughter inside.

But that would probably not be a good thing to do while he was making love to her. He just might misinterpret the source of her humor.

So instead, she leaned forward and kissed him.

He stopped moving and, before she could withdraw from her kiss, he leaned her back against the mattress.

He left her lips and hovered above her. At his hesitation, she looked up into his eyes and saw that he was waiting to make sure she was all right. She smiled, and again he entered her and took over their play.

Syn’s heart sang as she dug her nails deep into the flesh of his back. Never in his life had he felt like this. She wasn’t some acquaintance he barely knew, this was a woman he cared for, a woman he’d protected. A woman who had fought for him. And the union of their bodies gave him more pleasure than he’d ever thought possible.

For the first time in his life, he felt as if he mattered to someone. That maybe, just maybe people didn’t have to use each other.

Maybe Shahara was right. Maybe life was better than his cynical view.

Shahara saw his eyes change and, if she didn’t know better, she’d almost swear she saw love shining back at her. But that was ridiculous. He didn’t love her. He was only doing what she’d asked him to.

Teaching her that this one act wasn’t something to be feared.

Syn growled in her ear, then buried his head in her neck. Smiling, she wrapped her legs and arms around him as he sped up the pace. A thousand flickering flames danced in her body, each one burning hotter than the last as she arched her back to draw him in deeper to help ease the new ache that had started throbbing deep inside her.

She clenched her teeth, needing release, and when it finally came she screamed out in relief. She tightened
her hold on him and he continued to drive her ecstasy on until she was ready to beg him for mercy.

And just as she finally began drifting back to herself, she felt him shudder.

He held her close until he was completely spent. “I think I just died,” he whispered in her ear.

Brushing his damp hair back from his brow, she laughed. He raised up and kissed her tenderly.

As he started to move away, she jerked and hissed.

“What?” He drew his brows together in concern.

“My hair,” she gasped. “You’re . . . on . . . my hair.”

“Sorry.” He gently pulled strands out from under his body, then he moved off the bed and into the bathroom.

Shahara rubbed at the sore spot on her head while she waited for him to return.

After a few minutes, he came back with a warm washcloth. “Are you sore?” He climbed back in bed.

“No.” And that fact amazed her as she remembered how badly she’d been physically hurt after Gaelin’s attack. She’d barely been able to walk and her body had ached for a full week.

But there was no pain now. All she felt was an indescribable pleasure.

He smiled and pulled back the covers. Gently, he rubbed the washcloth between her legs, cleaning away all evidence of his claiming her.

While his hand stroked her, he pulled her to him for another kiss. Shahara closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his tongue while he continued to tease her. Why had she ever been afraid of this?

But then she knew. Other men weren’t this kind or understanding. Sighing in contentment, she decided it wasn’t so bad after all.

Until he moved away again.

“You’ve got to quit doing that,” she groused. The bed felt terribly cold without him.

He returned a few minutes later with his wine. “Want some?”

She took the glass and drank a quick sip while he rejoined her. The sweet, dry flavor rolled across her tongue and she enjoyed the luxury. Normally she didn’t imbibe.

One, she didn’t want her senses numbed in case she needed to go to work unexpectedly and two, she couldn’t afford it.

But this . . . this was really good.

Syn stacked up pillows behind him, then laid back. Handing him the wine, Shahara leaned her cheek against his chest so that she could hear the beating of his heart while he gently stroked her hair. She toyed with his bandage. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

He laughed at her question. “Definitely no. But now that we’re finished . . . I remember why I got drunk.”

“Do you need any pain meds?”

He shook his head. “I’ve had too much alcohol for that.”

She was baffled by his choice. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to take meds than get drunk?”

“Yes, but I function better on the bottle. Meds mess with reflexes and make my ass drag. I’m so used to being drunk that all it does is numb the pain.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “You’re so full of shit.”

He looked offended. “I know it defies logic, but I promise you, alcohol has no effect on my response time. It didn’t effect my father either. Some weird genetic defect.”

Yes, it was weird. Unwilling to think about that, she laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, by the way.”

“I’m the one who should do the thanking.”

She nipped the flesh of his arm before looking up. “Yes, you should, now that I think about it.”

He smiled and the happiness in his eyes brought a sudden wave of guilt and pain to her chest.

What would he do when he found out about her mission?

Kill you dead
.

Her throat suddenly dry, she pushed that thought away. What she was doing to him was wrong, but she couldn’t begin to pull out now. It would mean her life and those of her siblings if she did.

Yet as she lay here, she was beginning to believe that anything could happen and maybe, just maybe, she could get through all this without hurting him anymore.

Maybe I can help him
. . .

After all, he was innocent and, as a seax, she owed it to him to help set him free.
You make that sound so easy
. She knew it wouldn’t be. But she had to find some way to help him. He deserved it.

She didn’t know how. Yet. But someway, somehow, she would figure it out.

She hoped.

He frowned at her. “What are you thinking?”

“What do you mean?” she answered evasively.

“You just looked so serious all of a sudden. I was wondering why.”

“Oh.” She laid her head back on his shoulder while she prepared the lie she needed. “I was just thinking about my brother and sisters. I’ve never gone this long without talking to them before.” Well, it was only a partial lie. She really was worried about them.

He finished off the wine before he spoke again. “It must be nice.”

“What? Worrying about my lunatic siblings and the trouble they might get into without me?” She’d never thought of
that
as being particularly pleasant.

He set the empty glass on the bedside table. “Having someone worry about you when you’re gone. Knowing that if something happened to you, they’d actually grieve and not be waiting on the will to be read.”

A lump settled in her throat as she thought about the loneliness that made up his life. Then again, she was usually lonely even with her family crowded around because they didn’t see the real her. They only saw their older sister.