Born of Shadows (11 page)

Those were real horrors. Not being able to buy the painting you “loved” because someone beat you to it wasn’t. But to the people around him, the latter was a tragedy of epic proportions.

I don’t belong here.

Honestly, he didn’t want to.

Feeling sick to his stomach, he cleared his throat to get his father’s attention.

His father looked at him expectantly and it hit him like a fist in his abdomen. Even though he’d only known his father a few months, he’d learned to love and respect him in spite of the worldhe lived in. The man cared about him and he didn’t want to disappoint him.

But this…

He just needed a break. “I’m not feeling well—”

“Are you all right?” The concern in his father’s eyes tightened his stomach even more.

“I will be. May I be excused?” He hated sounding like that. In his world, the exchange would have been completely different… “
Hey, Dad, think I’m gonna puke. Gonna hit the head and snatch a nap, ’kay?”

But both his father and Boggi would faint dead if he said that out loud around this group.

His father waved a bodyguard over. “Take your time. Please let me know if you won’t be able to make dinner so that I can inform the others.”

“Yes, sir.” Caillen turned and headed away from the crowd with that annoying guard behind him. Like he needed anyone’s help protecting himself.
Want to wipe my chin while you’re at it?

Darling and Maris met up with him in the hallway.

“You okay?” Darling frowned. “You look like you’re about to hurl.”

At least Darling used real speak. “How are you so normal having come from this shit?”

Darling gave him a lopsided grin. “My hellbent friends. I owe all my sanity to you guys.” Yeah, and what Darling failed to mention was the double life he lived. To everyone here he was royal. To their friends, he was a wanted renegade who protected the innocent victims chosen by the League. One who had a staggering price on his head.

Caillen glanced at Maris. “I know you’re not normal.”

Maris laughed. “I actually like the pomp and decorum. I find it refreshing to have civility in a universe where people routinely kill each other for profit.”

“Yeah, but in case you haven’t noticed, all this civility is fake.”

Maris arched a haughty brow. “Fake is pretending to deliver flowers to someone and then shooting them in the face when they answer the door. It’s smiling at someone while listening sympathetically to their problems and pretending to be their best friend and then doing everything behind their back to ruin them. Taking that gleaned confidential information and turning it against them. Exposing their personal secrets to others for no other reason than sheer meanness and cruelty. Or even worse, lying about them after they’ve done nothing but try to help you because you’re jealous and know you can never accomplish what they have.”

Maris indicated the people they’d left with a thumb over his shoulder. “Everyone knows the aristos are out for themselves and are ruthless. They don’t pretend to care about you and you know not to tell them anything you don’t want made public. We make no bones about it. Yet we still respect each other and all the political machinations that go on. It’s honest treachery in my opinion. No one is ever surprised when one senator ns another. Or one emperor orders the death of his rival. Yet people are always stunned when their best friend talks about them behind their back or tries to ruin them for no real reason other than petty jealousy or just sheer meanness.”

Now Caillen was actually scared as he realized that Maris was right. “You know in a fucked up way, that makes sense. Only you could put it all into perspective.”

Maris shrugged. “It’s all about perspective, my friend. That and the ability to duck fast when life throws excrement at you.”

Caillen laughed at his unexpected comeback as he entered his room and his guard remained in the hallway. It was extremely out of character for Maris to talk like that. “I think we’ve finally corrupted him, Darling.”

Before Maris could respond, Darling cut him off. “You want us to stay or do you need some downtime?”

“I need some time.”

Darling gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “It will get easier. I swear.”

Caillen didn’t believe it for a minute. But he appreciated the kindness. Then again if anyone knew about leading a double life, Darling was it. “Thanks.”

He waited until they were gone before he jerked the robes off and let them fall into a heap at his feet. He had a childish urge to kick them. Saddest part? Those damn things cost as much as his ship and would have fed him and his sisters for about six years back in the day.

Raking his hands through his hair, he headed for his closet where he had his backpack stashed. Black and worn, it’d been his security blanket for years. A gadget for every occasion. This was his magic sack that had seen him through many a hairy ordeal.

He smiled as he opened it and rifled through the stuff that belonged to his past. Weapons, dehydrated food, garb…

And finally…

“There you are.” He pulled his old link out and cradled it in his palm. This was what he needed…

Exchanging it with the one in his ear, he called his sister. He was still mad at Shahara and the others for never telling him he was adopted, but he understood.

To them he was family. It didn’t matter how it’d happened. The moment their father had shown up with him in his arms, the three of them had welcomed him into their hearts and never looked back.

“Cai?” Shahara had a deep, husky voice for a woman, which had been great as a kid ’cause she hadn’t been able to scream at him in shrill tones—unlike Kasen and Tess. “Is that you, pook? I’ve missed you so much! Why haven’t you called and updated me on what’s going on in your new life?”

He smiled at an endearment only his oldest sister could get away with. “Hey. I’ve been busy as hell with all the… stuff my dad has been strangling me with. So what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.iv heig A clipped response that quickly led to her voice dropping two octaves. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He licked his dry lips as his gut knotted even more over the sound of her sweet voice in his ear. Gods, how he’d missed her. “Who says anything’s wrong?”

“Honey, I know you. I know that tone. You’re sad and hurting. What’s going on, baby? You need me to come and kill someone for you?”

He smiled at his sister’s not-so-empty threat. As a former bounty hunter, she’d probably killed more people than he had. “I don’t need you to fight my battles. I just wanted to hear a friendly voice.”

It sounded like she was opening something up on her end. “You know we’re always here for you.”

“Same.” It was so wonderful to know that even though she was on the other side of the universe, she would fight to the bitter death for him. He could see a perfect image of what she must look like in his mind. Her long red hair and gold eyes that were always filled with motherly love whenever she looked at him. She most likely would have one side of her hair pulled back from her ear while she talked to him and she’d keep one hand up near her link. No reason for it, just a strange quirk she had. And she was probably wearing a flowing floral dress that would make her appear soft and gentle. A total contradiction for a woman who could take down the nastiest scum the universe had ever spat out of hell.

“Are you going to talk to me or just keep breathing in my ear?” she asked.

“I like breathing in your ear.”

“You’re a sick man, Cai. I thought I raised you better.”

Normally he’d find that humorous, but not at this moment. Right now, those words cut him. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Fault find with me. I know you’re joking. I just don’t want to hear you bitching at me, okay?”

“That’s it. I’m officially worried. Do I need to come get you?”

Would he ever grow up in her eyes? “I’m not a kid, Shay.”

“I know you’re not. You’re the only human being in my life, other than my husband I’ve ever been able to rely on. And I can’t stand to hear you upset. It makes me want to hurt someone for you. I love you, Caillen. I want you to know that.”

He held those words like a lifeline. “I love you, too.”

Then he heard Syn in the background. “I have his coordinates. I could get us there within two hours. You want me to fuel my ship?”

That succeeded in making him laugh. “Tell your crazy-ass husband that I definitely don’t need his help. If I so much as see his shadow, I’ll shoot him myself.” It was so nice to have a conversation without pretense or worrying about vocabulary, syntax or enunciation. “Here, I won’t keep you guys. I only wanted to check in.

“All right.” Her tone was reserved and by that he knew she was still concerned about him. “Stay safe and remember I’m only a call away when you need me. And if you change your mind, my crazy-ass husband can get me to you in two hours.”

He shook his head as he reached for the shut off button on the link. “Thanks.” He hung up and sighed even while a smile continued to tease the edges of his lips over her last words.

How had his life become so complicated? He’d had many times in the past when he’d wanted to lie down in the gutter and let the universe take his soul back. Times when the crap he had to deal with had rained down on him with a fury so foul it’d left him temporarily bitter.

This was nothing like those times and yet he felt so defeated. Lost.

Hurt.

He couldn’t explain the emotions that shredded him. They were there, tearing at his confidence. Making him wish his father had never found him.

Enough whining. Damn, Cai, you are turning into an aristos. Gah. What is wrong with me?

This was absolutely not him. He had money and power. There was nothing wrong with him other than stupidity.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, he closed his backpack, then lay down on the couch so that he could stare out the portal window at the stars that had guided, protected and soothed him every day of his adulthood. What he wouldn’t give to be back on his ship, making a deadly run through a hostile sector…

But as he stared at them, his thoughts turning blank, an image jumped into his mind from some place he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

It was the sight of a dark-haired Qill with a sassy walk that said she’d rather kick his ass than kiss his lips. Actually he wouldn’t mind the former if he could get the latter.

Yeah.

I am a seriously sick bastard
. He had no idea why she appealed to him, but in the end, he knew one thing.

He was going to be stupid for her and she was definitely going to get him into a world of hurt.

Some temptations were just more than a mere mortal could deny and she was one of the biggest ones he’d ever come across. Yeah, next time they met, he was definitely going to allow her to lead him astray.

Desideria entered the large suite of rooms to find her mother’s migraine meds. A migraine her mother swore was brought on by being surrounded by men who possessed what she called manginas.

She reached the nightstand and searched through several bottles until she found the right one. As she closed the drawer, the small bottle slipped from her hand.

“Great,” she breathed. She’d had a bad case of dropsies since she’d awakened. No doubt it was from her nerves and the fac>

Worse, the bottle rolled beneath the bed to the far side, out of easy reach. She bent down to pick it up, then froze the moment her head was near the vent that ran under the bed. She heard a faint voice saying the most shocking thing she’d ever heard in her life.

“Sarra will be dead before she leaves that ship. If you can get Desideria in the process, all the better. I’m even willing to have her become a state hero who died valiantly while trying to save her mother if you can deliver both their heads to me.”

“It’s harder than you thought. There are cameras and security everywhere.”

“Are you telling me you’re too incompetent to bypass them?”

“Never.”

“Then I suggest you get started. The sooner this is over with, the better for all of us.”

“It will be done.”

“Good because if the next transmission isn’t a newsfeed saying they’re dead, there will be one about how a certain someone had a mishap of her own and was flushed out an air lock.”

Desideria pulled back, her heart hammering. Someone was going to kill her mother…

Her own life didn’t matter to her. Well, not entirely true. She didn’t want to die, but her life was insignificant compared to her mother’s. As part of the High Guard, she’d taken an oath to lay down her life to protect her queen. Should she fail to keep her mother safe, her own life would be forfeit too.

All members of the Guard would be executed should the queen die by assassination during their watch.

She had to warn her mother before it was too late. Leaning in closer, she tried to hear more of their plotting, but the voices were too faint. Muffled as if they realized someone might be listening.

Desideria moved closer to the vent…

Now the voices were gone entirely.

Damn.

Grabbing the medicine, she quickly made her way back to the ship’s forward deck where her mother was talking to Pleba while the other aristos drifted near them. She didn’t know why, but the bright clothing reminded her of birds preening around each other.

Except for her mother who was dressed in dark brown and black. The Qillaqs believed the body was a work of art and that it should be displayed and appreciated—why work to perfect something only to hide it beneath layers of fabric? Which was why her mother’s dress was made up of leather straps that barely covered the parts of her body other races found vulgar when exposed.

Even so, Desideria was very conservative compared to the rest of her group. While she was proud of her body, she was still shy about flaunting it. She was extremely muscula, but compared to the other women in her family, she was rather heavyset and too many years of her mother and sisters insulting her weight had made her very self-conscious over showing too much of it lest they start in on her again.