Born Weird (19 page)

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Authors: Andrew Kaufman

BOOK: Born Weird
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Kent had turned right. He looked over his shoulder and saw it coming. It gained on him, quickly. At the end of the hallway he stopped. He turned around and faced it.

“Stay the
fuck
away from me,” Kent screamed. The lightning shot down his throat. His fingers stretched open. He balanced on his toes. Then his body slumped onto the freshly washed floor.

The lightning turned. It moved slowly through the air. Angie stepped into the hallway. The lightning stopped in front of her. Shades of red, from rust to ruby, shimmered from its tail to its tip. Angie raised her hands. She opened her palms.

“Please don’t hurt the baby,” Angie said. It darted into her.

P
AULETTE

S SHOES REMAINED ON
her hands, not her feet, and Angie took a very deep breath. They stayed at opposite ends of the front hallway. Paulette twisted her wrists until the toes of her tiny pink runners were pointed directly at her mother. Angie had planned to be at the daycare by nine. It was now just before ten. The shoe fell from Paulette’s right hand. It bounced on the second-hand carpet. Angie bent her knees until she was eye level with her daughter.

“Okay, baby. It’s time to get your shoes on.”

“No.”

“It’s not a choice. Put your shoes on.”

“No!”

“Paulette Annie Weird-Waterfield! You put your shoes on now!”

“No!”

“Now!” Angie yelled. She instantly regretted doing this.

“B … ut … you said … we’d get … new shoes!”

“We will. I promise. Tomorrow. Today we’re already late. We just need to get to daycare.”

“I … want … to … stay … w … ith youuuuuuu.”

“Come on, baby. Just get your shoes on. Please?”

“No!” Paulette yelled. She threw the other shoe off her hand. It landed on the carpet. The lights embedded in the soles began to flash.

“All right,” Angie said. “Then I will help you.”

Standing up Angie plucked a shoe from the floor. She sat down and held Paulette in her lap and tried to wedge the small shoe on her daughter’s small foot. But Paulette pointed her toes, making it impossible to get her foot all the way inside.

“New shoes! New shoes! New shoes!” Paulette yelled.

“Fine!” Angie yelled. She threw the shoe. She did this in exactly the same way her daughter had. It landed on the carpet. The coloured lights started blinking again.

For Angie, the challenges of motherhood were many. The worst of which wasn’t the whining, or the lack of sleep, or the constant colds, or the twenty pounds on her frame that wouldn’t go away. It was that her daughter daily demonstrated the worst characteristics of herself. This, Angie had been unable to forgive.

Paulette wasn’t alone in being out of her mother’s good graces. Just this morning Angie had been unable to forgive Paul for leaving his cereal bowl on the table. She still hadn’t forgiven him for losing their daughter’s health card. Or for making so little money that they had to live in a basement
apartment. Nor had she had forgiven her siblings for doing nothing but sleep—oh, call it a coma if you want, but that’s what they were doing. She couldn’t forgive them for making her live with a man she was no longer sure that she loved. Or forcing her to raise her daughter in a city she didn’t particularly like. Angie could not forgive them for taking her life and making it all about them.

It had been almost three years since Angie had forgiven anyone for anything.

“You … said … we ’d g … et … new … shoes!”

“Don’t be a crybaby,” Angie said.

“But … you p … romised,” Paulette said, snuffling. “You promised.”

“I know. We will. Honest.”

As Angie tried to control her breathing, the phone rang.

“Thank God,” Angie muttered.

She found the phone in the kitchen. It was not on the charger. She did not forgive Paul for this. The caller ID said that it was the Vancouver and District Hospital. “Hello?” Angie asked. She listened. She held the phone tighter. “Yes, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She rushed back into the front hallway. She found Paulette humming to herself. Her shoes were on her feet. But Angie couldn’t forgive her for not putting them on when she’d asked the first time.

L
UCY OPENED HER EYES
. Thinking that the hospital ceiling was the hospital floor, she automatically reached out her hands, squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face away. A full second passed before Lucy realized that she wasn’t moving. She reopened her eyes. Her arms remained outstretched and she saw the intravenous needle that was taped to the inside of her elbow.

Sitting up caused her shoulder-length hair to fall over her face, but Lucy didn’t think much about this. She tucked it behind her ears. She picked at the clear plastic tape on the inside of her elbow. She tore it off her skin. She pulled the needle from her arm. Then she looked up. There were three other beds in the room. Abba was to her right. Richard and Kent were across from them. They all seemed to be sleeping, so her immediate concern became how thirsty she was.

Sliding out of bed made every muscle in her body ache. Her legs were stiff. She took tiny steps across the room. The door that she hoped was the bathroom was locked. She knocked as hard as she could, which wasn’t very hard.

“Hello?” Lucy asked. Her vocal chords produced almost no sound. No response. She shuffled out of the room. The hallway was empty. At the end of it she turned right. Then she saw an orderly.

“I need to get a drink,” Lucy said.

“Pardon?” the orderly asked. He took a step closer to her.

“Water!”

“There’s a kitchenette right around the corner, on the left.”

Lucy moved as fast as she could. The orderly followed her. Without asking, she opened a cupboard, took out a coffee mug and turned on the tap. She did not let the water run so it could get cold. She filled the mug. She drank it, quickly. Water spilled down her chin. She refilled the mug: she drank it, too. She filled it again. It was only as she started to drink her fifth mug of water that she realized she’d had to ask for directions.

Richard sat up in bed and looked at the needle in his arm. He ran his index finger over the tape that held it in place. His eyes followed the translucent tube that ran from the needle to a clear plastic bag hanging from a tall steel cart. He followed the tube back down. His shoulder-length hair fell over his face. He pushed it out of his eyes without giving it much thought. He looked at the inside of his elbow. He stared at the needle. He stared at it for some time. He could not decide whether it was safe to remove it or not.

This caused him to emit a laugh larger than he ever had.

The second Abba’s eyes opened she felt the absence of an incredible weight. She looked around the room and she was only slightly surprised to see Richard in the bed directly across from her. He said nothing, but he leaned towards her, expectantly waiting to hear what she was going to say.

Abba remained silent. She hoped that she wasn’t about to disappoint her eldest sibling. This hope, almost immediately, vanished. Abba had never experienced this before. She realized that the incredibly heavy thing she no longer felt was the collected mass of a thousand hopes she’d never been able to let go of.

“Hope is worry’s twin,” Abba said, her voice thin and weak, “and both are useless.”

Kent opened his eyes. He saw Abba and Richard dancing and singing in the middle of the room. He heard a door unlocking and then he saw a nurse rush out of the bathroom. It was at this moment that Lucy skipped into the hospital room, closely followed by an orderly. The orderly stood by the door as if on guard. The nurse ran into the hallway to find the doctor. Lucy joined the circle of Abba and Richard. Kent stayed in his bed. He looked down at his hands. They were in fists. He stared at them for some time. Then he relaxed his grip, spread his palms flat against the bedsheet and looked up at the orderly’s massive face.

“Thank you for coming,” Kent said.

“Okay?”

“I’m sure that taking care of us has been a chore. On behalf of all of us, let me thank you for your efforts.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I feel unbelievably good. Stiff, for sure. But overall, well, how can I put this?” Kent stopped. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and began to pick off the clear plastic tape.

“Don’t do that …”

“It’s okay. Thank you for your concern. I have to tell you that I find myself, how
do
I put this? Perhaps for the first time in my life I find myself with nothing to prove,” Kent said. He removed the tape and pulled the needle out of his arm. Getting out of bed he took tiny steps towards his dancing siblings. Lucy and Richard let go of each other’s hand and Kent joined the circle.

“I think the Shark really did it!”

“I’m free!”

“We’re all free!”

“We’re
fucking
free!”

“We’re fucking free,” they began to sing, their voices rusty and off-key. “We’re all
fucking
free!”

A
NGIE STEPPED INTO THEIR
hospital room and her siblings did not stop doing their awful dance or singing their awful song, and she was unable to forgive them. Their green gowns had come undone at the back, so at least one bare ass was always pointing directly at her as they danced. She remained by the door and she didn’t join them. Some time passed.

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