Borrowed (Embracing Series) (15 page)

“Are you okay, darlin’?” I asked, knowing I didn’t want to hear her answer.

“I’m fine, love. We need to get some sleep. Good night, Evan. I love you.” She whispered as she turned over. I knew she was crying, I could feel her body moving.

“I love you, more than you will ever know.” I whispered. I laid there and held her all night.

Once we landed in Utah, I had no clue how I would handle everything. My father looked so sad and I knew he would be lost without my mom. This had changed all of our lives. Lila and I stayed with him after we made the funeral arrangements. I didn’t know what would happen with Lila and me. I knew that she had regrets about what we experienced and probably would act very different towards me. My dad really liked her. He thought she was my girlfriend, I didn’t let him think any different. The funeral was tomorrow and this is one thing that I never imagined I would have to do. I thought my parents would be here forever. It goes to show that not every day is a guarantee.

Lila and I slept in my room, she hadn’t kissed me or hugged me since we left NYC. I wanted to ask her questions, but I thought I should wait. As we lay there sleeping next to one another, all I wanted to do is wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. I didn’t though. I hadn’t got much sleep and I still couldn’t fall asleep. I looked at my phone and realized it was after six in the morning. I got up and showered and Lila was still sleeping so I didn’t disturb her. I went down stairs to find my dad having coffee and starting to make breakfast.

“Morning Pop. How are you doing?”

“I’m okay son, just really tired. I’ve so many unanswered questions. She was fine one minute then the next she was gone. After thirty years with her, how the hell am I supposed to live without her?” he said as I saw unshed tears in his eyes.

“Dad, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. It’s crazy how life happens. Hell, I thought you two would outlive me. I was devastated when Brody told me. Mom was a wonderful person. She left a footprint on all of our hearts, that’s for sure. Do you remember that Easter when I didn’t want to wear my tie? She told me that the Easter bunny would take all of my candy and toys away if I didn’t. Then she wore a tie so I would. Then there was that time that she made Brody and I volunteer at the soup kitchen for Christmas. She always had a kind heart and would do anything for anyone.” I said as the tears fell down my cheeks.

“I know son, that was the type of person she is…was. She was always like that, and one of the many reasons I love her so much.”

We started cooking breakfast then Lila came strolling in the kitchen, she loved bacon so I made sure I made her some. “Good morning, darlin’.” I said as I kiss her forehead.

“Good morning it smells great in here.” She said as she poured a cup of coffee. I would love making her breakfast every morning but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. We all ate and talked, and then it was time, time to say good bye to my wonderful mother. My grandparents flew out and my Aunt Frances was going to stay with my dad for a while. I knew she would make sure he was taken care of.

I was going to sing at the funeral, I had no clue where I would get the strength to but my mother loved my voice, and I had to do that for her. I started singing the lyrics of “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley. I could feel my voice cracking, but I knew I had to do this for my mom. She loved this song and loved hearing me play my guitar. As I sang this last song for my beautiful mother, I could feel her presence. I could see her smiling at me, and telling me how much she loved me.

Lila stood by my side the whole time. She never left me, and she was as emotional as I was. Every time I felt like I would lose it, I felt Lila squeeze my shoulder. She helped me through everything. I really appreciated her for that. After the service we all went back to the house and ate and told stories. I didn’t want to leave my Pop’s but I knew I had to get back to my life and he needed to live his. I was hoping maybe he would move to Alabama with my grandparents but his life was here and he was a stubborn man. We said our goodbyes and left to go back to New York.

It’s been two months since my mother’s death. Lila has been my friend through it all, we have never talked about that night at all. She still hasn’t heard anything from Liam. I felt really bad for her, I really hoped he wasn’t dead. I know she loves him very much. Her friend Addison was coming to visit and we were all having dinner together. I had no clue how but Alyssa knows about Lila and me sleeping together. I tried denying it but she knew, I hadn’t even told the guys. It wasn’t any of their business. I also didn’t want them to think differently of Lila either.

Brody was still trying to figure out what was going on with Nikki, but of course none of the girls was saying anything about it. After Addison arrived I could see how happy Lila was, she acted a lot different around her. Addison was full of spunk, she is also Lila’s brother’s girlfriend. I had never met him but had heard lots of great things about him. I made dinner, we had BLT’s and onion rings. Yeah, Lila’s choice. They all laughed when they see what we were having.

“Evan, can I talk to you for a sec?” Addison asked

“Of course, sweetheart.” I said as we walked outside.

“Okay listen, I know what happen with you and Lila. I’m okay with it, but she needs you right now. If you hurt her in any way, I will cut your balls off and shove them up your ass. Got it?” she said pointing her finger in my face.

“Uh, yeah. No problem, I would never hurt her.” I said with a lump in my throat.

“Okay good, we never had this conversation.” She said laughing. I just gave her a wink and we went back inside. I could tell Lila wanted to know what was said but I didn’t tell her. We had a great time then we had to take Addison to the airport, I could tell Lila was sad. I was glad I had my two best friend’s right here with me.

It was November and time for me to lose Lila, her dude was coming home this week. She was so excited. I was taking her to the airport and I knew that our friendship would change once he came home, especially if she told him we slept together.

“Evan, I love you very much but my heart is Liam’s. I’m so sorry all this happened.” She said wiping her tears.

“I know babe, Liam is one lucky bastard that’s for sure.” I said as I kissed her goodbye. I started walking away and she came running back to me. I could hear her yelling but as she got closer I heard her words.

“Evan, I love you so much and can’t lose you. I need you in my life too.” She said as she kissed me hard and passionate. She grabbed her mouth with both hands and took off running I could see she was still crying. Fuck why the hell is she with him? I hope that we can remain friends, once she tells Liam about us he is going to make her stop seeing me. I know I would if she was mine, I would be so jealous.

I walked out of the airport and headed to the bar. I needed to drink all my sorrows away. Of course, fucking Alyssa was there. I sat and talked to her, she was seeing a new guy, don’t know where he was tonight. She begged me to go home with her but hell I couldn’t and wouldn’t. I drank until I couldn’t drink anymore and went home. Audrey saw me walking in the building and started talking a mile a fucking minute, sometimes I had no clue what she was saying. She was babbling something about me and Hayden.

“Audrey, I’m really tired and I don’t feel like company.” I said.

She looked at me and said, “Well I wasn’t coming to visit you anyways dickprick! I was just curious why you fucked everything with Hayden up. All she wanted to do was bang your fine ass, but you turned her down. She wanted no strings attached, you dumbass.”

Then she stormed off. Damn someone needs to buy that girl some soap for her fucking mouth. I walk in the door and see Brody pacing back and forth and he looked pissed off. Jesus what the hell now?

“Everything okay man?” I asked as I closed the door.

“Dude, Nikki has a boyfriend! That’s the whole reason she moved home.” Brody said as he looked at me. I knew it that’s why they hadn’t said anything.

“Damn, bro that sucks, I’m sorry that she did that to you.” I said as I grabbed a beer and sat on the couch. I flipped on the TV and just kept flipping through the channels. I couldn’t sit still though, I knew that Lila was probably with Liam already and it was driving me crazy. I knew she is his and was never mine.

“Hey lets go to a party, I heard there is one that Miles’s and his crew is throwing.” Brody said as he looked at his phone. “Zander text me and said he is going also.”

“Fuck yeah! I’m in, let’s go.” I needed this I thought. I shower and get ready for the party. We rode together, I wasn’t planning on hooking up with anyone anyways. Miles always throws bad ass parties. The only thing is there are always so many girls, but none of them was my type. They all were basically whores. They sleep with every man at the party. Perfect for Brody and Zander.

I noticed Audrey was there and she had Hayden with her. I really tried to avoid them, but hell I was drunk and wanted to dance. I started dancing with them. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden I hear Zander yelling and blood flying. Audrey was crying and trying to pull Zander off some dude.

“Zan, come on bro, whatever it is it’s not worth it! Let’s go now.” I said pulling his arm. He let me drag him out and Brody was right behind us along with Audrey and Hayden. I had no fucking clue what the hell happened.

“Okay somebody want to tell me that was all about?” I yelled once we got around the corner. Audrey was still crying and shaking and holding on to Brody. Zander had a busted lip and a swollen eye, and Hayden was just tagging along.

“That guy was grinding on me and I asked him to stop, but then he pushed me against the wall and wouldn’t keep his hands off of me. I tried kicking him in his balls, but I couldn’t get my fucking leg from his. That mother fucking cock sucker had my damn legs and my arms pinned against the wall with his raunchy pussy breath all in my face.” Audrey said as she was now clinging to Zan.

“He had no right to fucking touch her like that, that’s why I beat the shit out of him. She asked him to stop and he didn’t. I could see her out the corner of my eye. I walked over and he makes like she wanted to be shoved up against the goddamn wall. So he got what he deserved.” Zander said as he sat down on a bench.