Borrowed Magic (10 page)

If she didn’t have the magic in her body to
warn her, she would be as blind as everyone else. Teige had helped
save the kingdom. He’d made it possible for Philip to kill
Kern.

Everything he’d done seemed good, and she
wanted to believe he was just an unwitting player in all of this.
But she couldn’t ignore the way he’d looked at her this morning. As
if he’d been trying to hurt her.

And then it struck her,
causing her heart to beat faster, that Teige was a powerful
mage
from the East
, perhaps a distant relative of a ruling lord there – and
that Kern was also from the East. She hugged the book to her chest.
Maybe Teige didn’t avoid his past because it was too painful. Maybe
he avoided it because he didn’t want anyone to know. Not just that
he was a mage, but that he was related to Kern. A cousin. A nephew.
A— Her breath caught. A son. Maybe Philip had a brother. It would
explain the bond between him and Teige. And if Teige had loved his
father, it might also explain the look she saw him give Daric that
day in the square – as if he hated him.

No. She shook her head. No!
He helped
kill
Kern. There must be something else, something she hadn’t
thought of.

And she had to find out what.

Nine

Maren slipped her dress over her
shoulders. Even that small movement hurt. Her shoulder, back, and
chest all felt bruised. More slowly, she raised her arms and looked
in the mirror. Tired. Pale. That was what stared back at her. The
image of someone who was slowly dying.

She had debated whether to tell Daric and
Adare. For now, she’d decided not to, unwilling to see the sorrow
in their eyes and know she was the cause. Besides, they’d never let
her out of their sight, and right now she needed the freedom to
discover the truth and figure out what to do about Teige.

Him being a mage was
another thing she decided to keep from the king and queen.
Based on what she saw that day in town, Teige
already suspected more than was good. And for reasons she couldn’t
even put into words, she didn’t want those suspicions to become
more. If she told Adare, or anyone else, she was afraid that’s
exactly what would happen. Adare would tell Daric. Daric would tell
Teige – even if it wasn’t because he believed it was true. What
would happen then, she didn’t know, but she didn’t want to find out
until she discovered what his intentions were.

Which wasn’t going to be right now. Adare
was waiting. She was sure to notice something was wrong, but
hopefully Maren could convince her she’d just had a bad night,
or…something.

She closed her bedroom door a little too
hard and had to lean her head against the doorframe as the
now-all-too-familiar pain raced down her arm.

“Are you all right?”

A hand was under her elbow, supporting her.
Philip. She didn’t even know he’d returned, but here he was, eyes
boring into her, full of concern. And seeing things she didn’t want
him to see.

“Yes, I’m fine.” She took a step further
down the hall, hoping he’d leave her alone, that he wouldn’t ask
the questions he’d been desperate to ask before he left, but he
grabbed her arm – the right one this time.

“You’re not all right.” His eyes scanned her
face. “I’ve only been gone a few weeks, and I can see a
difference.”

“Philip.” She tried to pull away, but he
didn’t let go.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Kern hurting
you?”

Her eyes flew to his. “The queen is
waiting.”

“I’ve been waiting longer.”

She tried to pull away again but he held
firm. “I’ll make sure to tell her you said that.”

His mouth clenched in
annoyance, but he still didn’t let go. “Fine. Now answer my
question. Why didn’t you tell me that Kern,
my father
, attacked you, leaving an
injury that won’t ever heal? Why didn’t you tell me you went to the
other kingdoms and asked for their help, despite the danger,
despite the fact that Kern’s spies were already watching the
city?”

Daric really had told him everything.

Philip ran a hand over his face. “Why,
Maren? Why did you do it?”

She felt tears of anger and hurt sting her
eyes. “Because Kern had sworn his revenge on Daric, you had left,
and Kern had murdered my father. I didn’t have anything to
lose.”

“You had your life, your future.”

“You
were my future and you left me. I had nothing!”

His face creased in pain. “I’m sorry. Again.
I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

He took a step towards her and raised a hand
to brush her cheek.

She knew she should move away, but she
couldn’t. Something in his eyes, a sort of understanding, stopped
her – even when he leaned closer, and she briefly wondered if he
was going to kiss her.

Instead he dropped his hand, and his eyes
went to her shoulder. “Will you show me?”

She recoiled and some of her anger
resurfaced. “No.”

He stepped towards her, but she backed away
until she was against the wall with nowhere else to go. “Maren,
please. I want to see what he did to you.”

The stubborn look in his eyes told her he
wouldn’t give up. And maybe she didn’t want him to. Maybe he should
see what happened after he left. She reached up and pulled the
shoulder of her dress down over her arm and heard his sharp intake
of breath.

His surprise was understandable. It wasn’t
pretty. Black, burned skin that never changed. Blue streaks that
created patterns all over her shoulder and down onto her arm, like
shattered glass just before it crumbles. The streaks almost glowed
in their intensity, and were now spreading lower on her arm. She
watched as his eyes traced them in horror.

“Seen enough?” He nodded but still didn’t
release her arm as she pulled her dress back over her shoulder.
“What else do you want?”

“I want to help you. I want to be there if
you need anyone.”

“You want to be there for me now?” She
laughed, but it was bitter laughter, full of disbelief and hurt.
“Where were you three years ago when I really needed you? When my
father died, when I was injured? Where were you yesterday when I
realized I was dying—”

“What?” His grip on her arm tightened. “The
king didn’t say anything about dying.”

“He doesn’t know.”

His brows drew together. “What makes you
think you’re dying?”

She shook her head.

“Maren?” He tilted her chin until she was
forced to meet his eyes.

“It’s getting worse.”

“What do you mean?”

She hesitated, but his eyes never wavered
from her face, and she knew he wouldn’t leave without the truth.
“It’s getting more painful. It hurts all the time now, and the
magic is going deeper.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut
him off. “I’m certain. I’ve looked through all my father’s
books.”

He staggered backwards, but even though she
was now free, she didn’t move.

“It’s all right, Philip.” But the worried
crease between his brows didn’t go away. “It’s all right.”

He groaned. “No, it’s not. After all this
time, after everything that’s happened, I can’t lose you.”

She could only stare in shocked silence.
He’d said he wanted to be friends, to start over, but this sounded
like more.

“Maren, I have loved you for as long as I
can remember. Even after I thought you lied to me, when I felt more
betrayed than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, I couldn’t deny it.
For three years I tried to stop loving you. When I came back, I
even convinced myself I could move on, but I can’t. I need you.
Please marry me? Let me take care of you? There must be something
that can be done, some cure, some sorcerer the king hasn’t
considered.”

She shook her head and blinked back tears
that were a mixture of anguish and heartache. “No, Philip. I can’t
marry you.”

He grabbed her by both shoulders and didn’t
let go when she gasped in pain. “I know you still love me.”

“I could love you with all my heart and my
answer would still be no,” she continued. “You can’t have love
without trust. And you don’t trust me—”

“Maren, please.”

She looked him in the eye. “Where did you
go? Where were you all that time? What happened that changed you so
much, that took the laughter from your eyes?”

He drew in a long breath and turned away. “I
can’t talk about it.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

He didn’t say anything, just stood there
with his head bent and eyes closed.

“I think you owe me some kind of
explanation, some reason why I should even consider your
offer.”

He ran a hand through his hair before
turning back to her, anguish written on every line of his face. He
tried to take her hands, but she pulled away.

“I can’t, Maren. Please don’t ask. You don’t
want to know, and I can’t…” Something approaching agony washed over
his features. “I can’t even think about it. I don’t want to
remember.”

Her heart sank. “No, Philip. You still don’t
trust me, and that’s something I can’t live without.” She summoned
all her courage and looked at him, into his eyes, trying to read
what was there, what he wasn’t telling her. It was useless.
Whatever barrier he’d placed over that part of his life was only
going to come down when he let it. And seeing the fear in his eyes,
she felt further away from him than ever. Knowing something had
hurt him, hurt her also. Even though she couldn’t do anything about
it, even though he didn’t trust her, she still loved him.

“When you left, you broke my heart. Ever
since, I’ve been trying to heal, to allow myself some kind of a
life. I’d almost done that – and then you came back. Now everything
is in chaos again, and I’m trapped behind what you won’t tell me
and I can’t explain.” She didn’t even bother to hide the tears she
couldn’t keep back any longer. “You need to trust me or you need to
let me go.”

He pulled his hands away as if she’d burned
him. His expression went from hurt to anger before he stormed down
the hall.

She leaned against the wall before she fell
over. Whatever anyone said, heartache was the worst pain of
all.

Ten

Maren had to discover what Teige’s
motives were. Which meant she had to spend time with him, had to
endure the pain.

So she sat outside in the bitter wind,
waiting for the sword competition to begin. It had been planned as
an award for the soldiers. For saving Tredare – and as
entertainment for everyone else.

There was even a prize: A day spent with
Lady Kira. Daric had wanted Maren instead, but the minute she’d
seen the look on Philip’s face – as if a day spent with her was the
last thing on a very long list of things he didn’t want to do –
she’d refused. At which point Teige had withdrawn, saying there was
no motivation if Maren wasn’t to be the reward, and that he’d keep
her company instead. She should have been flattered. At least it
gave her the opportunity to talk to him in relative privacy.

If she were completely honest with herself,
she hadn’t just come to get information from Teige. She also wanted
to watch Philip. To see how good he really was.

A moment later, she sucked in a quick breath
as Lord Teige approached her. She forced herself not to react as he
bowed over her hand, planting a light kiss on her knuckles. Then
she pulled away, clasping her hands in her lap and out of his
reach. She never touched him if she could help it. And it wasn’t
just because of the pain. She’d gotten better at controlling her
reaction to that. Now it was fear that kept her away – fear of what
she knew about him and fear of all the things she didn’t know but
that bothered her deep down and left her cold with dread.

Teige laughed. “Still not my biggest fan?”
He settled in the chair next to her and stretched his legs out in
front of him. “It is my goal to win you over, Lady Maren. No matter
what it takes or what I have to do. You will not only want my
company, you will seek it.”

Her hands went cold. Despite the tone of
friendly boasting, she sensed a threat behind his words. “I
wouldn’t be so sure, My Lord. I am very discriminating in my
friends.” She didn’t know how she’d managed to sound so calm and
composed, even the slightest bit flirtatious. Her knees were
shaking so hard she was afraid he’d notice.

His eyes sparked. “That only adds excitement
to the game.”

“A game requires two to play.”

“Are you as eager for the competition as
everyone else?” he asked a few minutes later.

She kept her eyes focused on the arena. “Of
course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because when Philip wins, he’ll have Kira
crawling all over him.”

“And why would I care about that?”

He smiled in a knowing way. “I just thought
you might.”

The truth was she did care. For the past
week, ever since she’d refused his proposal, she’d had to watch as
Philip flirted outrageously with every available lady in the room.
He’d sit one night with Kira, the next with Jocelyn, even Surry got
a turn. It reminded her too much of the past, where everyone was
fighting for Philip. Only now he wasn’t choosing her. He was angry,
wouldn’t even look at her. He never acknowledged her existence if
he could avoid it. And he smiled. More than she’d seen since he’d
come back. He even laughed when his dinner companion made an
amusing comment. He’d never once truly laughed for her since his
return. He’d only hurt her all over again.

“Ah,” Teige said, interrupting her thoughts.
“It looks like they’re starting.”

The first two competitors entered the arena.
After the obligatory greeting, a signal was given and swords were
drawn, each man waiting for the other to strike first. Once that
first blow came, the action never stopped until one man claimed
victory. Maren clapped with the rest of the crowd and then held her
breath as Philip entered the arena.