Bound (21 page)

She wanted to swear. She had been hoping he would help her sort out her feelings, but was now even more confused by the idea that she might not have a clear handle even on the question. She felt her head begin to ache from trying to make sense of it all. To distract herself, she asked him, "Why did you bond with Lydia? Doesn't that increase the risk you'll be discovered? Surely people will notice that she acts like your partner."

"So I once thought as well," he said, laughing softly. "Often we are wrong where we assume we can see all the possibilities. Did you know that Eliar was my tutor and mentor in my youth, as Ganson has been for you these past few years?" She shook her head. "That's how Lydia and I first met. We've known each other since I was nine. That was when my father found out that I was capable of magic and brought Eliar in to teach me, though what he was teaching me was a secret. As Eliar had long been a renowned scholar, my father was able to make it seem entirely natural. Eliar moved into the palace with his family, including Lydia.

"I remember the first time I saw her. I was peeking around the door of their new apartments. She was with her mother, who was directing workmen with their belongings. Lydia was only a year younger than I was and I had a burning curiosity to know children my own age. Then she turned around and saw me. I knew immediately that she was special. But when Eliar saw us together, saw the way we were looking at each other, he got angry and ordered Lydia's mother to keep us apart. It didn't work, but they did try." He smiled fondly at the memory. Then he became sad.

"When I was nineteen, Lydia disappeared from the palace. When I asked Eliar where she had gone, he refused to speak of it or her. I- found out later what happened. Eliar tried to marry Lydia to someone from Fioselto. I'm sure it was in order to get her out of the palace and away from me before we could bond to each other. She refused him, because she loved me as much I loved her. The law gave her grandfather the right to marry her to whomever he chose though, so she fled. I tried to find her, but I didn't know where to start looking and had no time. My father had begun to lay some of the burdens of ruling on me, to prepare me for the day when I will become Emperor.

"I didn't see her again until she returned to Rianza two years ago. You can imagine that it was a shock, but I believed she had come back to me. She hadn't though." His tone was rueful as he said this. "Lydia was there to warn me of Calder when she saw that his intention was to move fully into my father's court. She planned to leave right away, but I couldn't bear the thought. From the moment I laid eyes on her again, I found that the pull to be with her had only intensified over the years we were apart. We argued. I convinced her to stay, and we bound ourselves that night. She now lives as part of my household, publicly known as one of my advisers, though some know that there is more to our relationship.

"The surprising part has been that it's now easier for me to conceal what I am around the palace. You see, everyone knows Lydia is a Magicia, so they attribute any magic that occurs in her presence to her. I still have to be cautious, if only to avoid inadvertently doing anything when she's not around, but it's more freedom to exercise magic than I've had my whole life."

Keari paused and studied her for a while before continuing. "I understand what it is to be afraid of the bond, Faylanna, of the consequences it will have for you, but let my story show you that they are not always the ones you expect. One day, when you find the right person, I hope you will recognize it and grasp the opportunity. You won't want to lose them when you find them, I'm sure of that. Trust yourself, your feelings and theirs as well. You won't regret it."

Fay's head was swimming with all he had told her and she had forgotten what she had started out asking when he said, "Now that we have gone rather far afield, I'd like to give you the advice you asked for. Among the many subjects I studied growing up was the history of our realm, so I'm no stranger to the story of Marcius. I am also aware of Eliar's doubts regarding his guilt. But now that we know he is involved with your father, I am more concerned about him and the intentions both of them harbor for you than I am about his past.”

For a moment he looked uncomfortable, then said, "I need to apologize for my behavior upstairs. I was angry because I was worried about you. It was perhaps an overreaction, but I am still worried, Faylanna. I have watched over you since we met at that Imperial Ball, more closely than you might believe. Did you know that Calder tried that night to persuade the Emperor to marry you and I, despite my being of an age with him? I didn't think so, but that was why I started to watch over you. I was charmed by you from the beginning and it was clear to me that you needed to have someone's protection, before he arranged something worse. I'd like to think I'm honorable enough to not take advantage of an eleven year old child, but there are men among our nobles who are less than admirable, and I feared what would happen to you. Years later, when Calder's behavior grew more suspicious, it was I who requested the Council Magicia move you to Voleno. Eliar asked Ganson to act as your mentor and protector there at my request. All in hopes that we could keep him from fulfilling whatever bargain he had made, but it's beginning to appear that there is nothing we can do to protect you from it. So we must inform you, that you might make the right choice."

She heard the strange echo of Marcius' words and frowned. "But if Eliar is right and Marcius was innocent of the murder-"

"That was not the only crime he was found guilty of. The other was impossible to doubt. Were it not so, I assure you, I would have insisted on his release already. You must understand, Faylanna, he is not guiltless. And, as with your father, I am concerned by his reported behavior toward you. I remind you that properly, he should not even be able to reach you from the Mirror."

"And Tavis?"

He considered this for a moment. "This is the first time I've met him. Lydia never mentioned that she had a son, in fact." His expression was troubled as he said this, but then it cleared. "I don't know Tavis well, but he seems a sincere, intelligent young man. Education can come at any age, Faylanna, but intelligence and willingness to learn, those must be there from the beginning. And he certainly is concerned about you, even if I don't necessarily agree with his judgment in certain things. Perhaps you should spend more time with him, learn more of him with an open heart before you make any irrevocable decisions."

She supposed she should not have expected the advice would be any different from this, but somehow she had. She remembered how charming the prince had been at the ball, how attentive he had been as they had sat and talked and the serious consideration he had given the opinions of an eleven year old girl. She had expected him to actually consider both options, she supposed, but it seemed that he was determined that she not choose Marcius for any reason. Deciding she would have to form her own opinion, she said, "I have a lot to think about, I guess. Do you have any books here on Marcius or the Mirrors? I've nothing else to do and perhaps I need to read about it for myself, to really understand."

Keari watched her for a minute and she got the impression that she hadn't fooled him at all. At last he rose, selected two books from the shelves that lined half of the study and handed them to her. He sat back at the desk and returned to his papers without any of the arguments she'd half expected.

Chapter 13

Fay settled into one of the two armchairs by the cold fireplace on the other end of the study. She took the thinner of the two books, a treatise on the Mirrors of Bershan, and opened it. Skimming through, she found it contained mostly the same information Eliar had told her and theories on the origins of the Mirrors. The one thing that caught her eye was a small note about the sigils carved across the top of the frame of each Mirror. According to the book, the sigils glowed golden when the Mirror was locked, but turned silver when it was open. She tried to remember what they had looked like in her dream, but couldn't recall them even being there.

She tucked the treatise under the second book and opened that one. A larger tome, it was a record of the major crimes committed by Magicia during the history of the empire. From its size, she began to wonder if she belonged to a group more corrupt than she had ever believed. When she turned to the table of contents though, she discovered it mercifully short. She found the entry for Marcius, which was nearly the final chapter of the book and turned to it. Though it was a detailed account of Marcius' life and his crimes, everything was the same as what she'd been told before. She wondered if there was any chance she could find out more than she already knew. She began to read an account of the discovery of him with the body of his partner and her irritation boiled over. She was about to close the book when a small drawing near the bottom of the page caught her eye. It was the pendant. The drawing was such a perfect replica that her hand crept to press on the pocket in her dress, the ridges of it under her fingers reassuring her that it was still there. She read the description next to the drawing and found out that it was on the floor next to the body after they had taken Marcius away.

His voice, seeming to come out of the air around her, whispered to her.
It wasn't mine, but for some reason it lets me reach out to you more easily. Perhaps you should wear it again, next to your skin. It was so easy to be with you then.

She jumped, and the book about the Mirrors slipped from her lap, landing on the floor with a loud thump. As she bent over to pick it up, the sound of quill on parchment ceased and Keari asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. It slipped, that's all." Fay was amazed that her voice was steady. She waited until she heard the sound of the prince's quill before looking around, trying to turn her head as little as possible, but she saw nothing. Returning to the book, she saw a record of the trial came next and began reading through that, hoping to discover what connection the pendant might have with Marcius, if it wasn't his.

As she read, he whispered again.
Faylanna, please, tell me you can hear me. I didn't do this thing that you're reading about.

She didn't respond. She wasn't sure if she could, or if she should. Instead, she read that no one else was found in the vicinity, that only he had the opportunity to kill the victim. Marcius tried again, his words tugging at her concentration.
Please, you have to listen to me. I was innocent, I told you this. I didn't kill Landra, I couldn't have. I loved her. The pendant they found, it should have been proof I didn't do it because it wasn't mine.

Though she could hear his increasing desperation, she remained silent. She focused instead on the transcript as it laid out a pattern of gradually worsening jealousy from Marcius, but his ceaseless words made it very difficult for her to grasp what he had been jealous of.
Faylanna, I'm not evil, I swear it to you. I believed it for a while, as I believed that I must have killed her when they put me in this terrible place. But I don't think I could have. I loved my partner. Landra was everything to me, as I want to be to you. Please, don't hate me!

It was the misery and desperate need in his last words that made her stop reading and reflexively respond in her thoughts.
I don't hate you, Marcius.

His delight at her response was palpable. His words wrapped around her in an almost physical sensation.
Thank you. Oh, my sweet, thank you. You have no idea what it is to be trapped in this place, to reach someone after so long, so alone and...
She could feel his hesitation, then he said,
Don't tell the others about this, mustn't tell them, they won't understand. I can feel that they already don't understand what exists between us. Don't let them come between us.

His request surprised her, but she could see the logic in it. None of them would listen, none would be willing to admit they might be wrong about Marcius, not even Keari who seemed to listen to everyone before deciding. Before she could reply though, she heard Eliar in the front hall, obviously returned and yelling for everyone to come downstairs. She set the books on the table beside her as she rose, turning to see Keari do the same, but then Eliar walked into the room and motioned for them to sit.

"I see you finally let the girl know who you really are. About time," was Eliar's only comment on seeing Keari undisguised. He settled into the chair next to Fay.

They waited for several minutes before Lydia came in with Tavis behind her. Fay noticed that he wouldn't look at her as he found a place to sit and a strange satisfaction that she instantly recognized as not her own filled her mind. She realized that Marcius was still with her thoughts and seemed aware of the things she perceived. It was odd to her, and she thought it was something new, which made her wonder what it could mean. Once they had settled into chairs, Eliar looked around at them and began, "This might be the worst news, really. The ninth Mirror, the one they used to imprisoned Marcius, is missing from its vault in the Hall of Mirrors. No one had the slightest idea it was gone or when it could have disappeared. When I checked the records, the last visit was several years ago, by your uncle." He nodded to Keari, who was leaning against the front of his desk. "In fact, he's been visiting the vaults regularly in recent years."

Keari shrugged, but looked uncomfortable. "That's not necessarily significant. He is the Minister of Justice. Those vaults and the Mirrors are among his responsibilities."

Eliar frowned. "If he had been visiting all of the vaults, I would agree, but in the years since his last recorded visit to the ninth Mirror, he has continued to visit the others on a yearly basis. He only stopped visiting the one that is missing."

Keari looked even more troubled now, but a servant entered the room at that moment and offered him a sealed letter. He took it and the dismissed the servant absently. The seal on the letter focused his attention as he turned it over. Breaking it and unfolding the letter, he read it quickly and then looked up at Fay. "We must leave at once for the Imperial Palace, Faylanna. The Emperor wishes to see you. I think I have a spare robe you can borrow."