Bound by Blood and Sand (9 page)

“Well, I can't bring them all!” Maybe he could bring a few more, but no one would understand why. Jae had magic, but there was no
reason
to bring anyone else. Their deaths were what would save the rest of the world, bringing the population back down far enough that the Well could serve everyone. It was a grim thought, and he could understand Jae's anger, but there was no other choice.

Or there hadn't been. But maybe now there was. Elan had been sure there was something at Aredann that would help him find the Well, and that would be the key to saving lives. And now there was magic. In traitorous hands, yes, but still magic.

“The power you found…could you use it to find the Well?” Elan asked.

“I don't know,” Jae said.

He glanced at the flower again. It was impossible, growing out of the dust, surrounded by bone-dry ground. Surely if Jae could bring it to life, create flowers out of nothing, she could do plenty of other things. He'd have to find out what, learn more about it, but all the stories about the War were of mages who did incredible, impossible things. Surely finding the Well would be easy enough.

And magic appearing like this, even if it was in the hands of a Closest girl, had to be a sign. It wasn't what his father and the other Highest had planned for Aredann—but they hadn't known the estate held magic. Elan would have to bring his father here, show him what Jae could do, convince him.

But he'd have to be very, very careful. Convincing his father of anything was next to impossible. A flower and a palmful of water wouldn't do it. Elan would need Jae to know precisely where the Well was first, and be able to prove it, somehow. Once Elan had that ready, he'd send for his father. Until then, he'd keep this secret. If Desinn or even Shirrad found out, they'd send for his father immediately—and Desinn, at least, would try to take the credit for it. But this discovery was all Elan's, and if he handled it right, waited until he was certain he was ready, it would get him back into his father's favor.

“I believe the Well has been hidden for too long,” Elan said finally, watching Jae carefully. “I think it's time to find it, and I hope that once we do, we might be able to increase its magic, make it serve more people—including the people here. With your magic, Aredann can be saved. No one has to die.”

He smiled at her, a little relieved. He hadn't given much thought to what would happen to the Closest after Aredann was abandoned, and dwelling on their deaths didn't sit well with him. If it was necessary, then so be it—and the longer he spent at Aredann, the more he understood that it was. Just as his father had said, the drought made people desperate and scared, and Elan could see it all around him. There
had
to be enough water for everyone, and if there were too many people, there would have to be sacrifices. It was a nasty thought, but the Closest might have to die. But not if there was any other way, and now there was.

Jae still didn't smile back at him. Her angry expression didn't waver, didn't lighten.

“What?” he finally demanded when he couldn't stand her silent seething for another moment.

“I was going to save Aredann—from the drought, and from
you.
That's why I hid those flowers. I don't want to help you. I want you gone from here. Forever.”

Elan shook his head. Closest could
never
be left alone alive, with no Avowed guardian to keep watch over them. An enclave of uncontrolled Closest was dangerous. Surely Jae realized that much.

“Aredann will be saved either way. You'll just have to live with that.”

She made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat.

“What?”
Elan demanded again. Having to converse like this, to demand or ask a question instead of just talking, was maddening.

“I already know I have to live with it,
Highest,
” she spat, her voice still quiet but no less nasty for it. “I have no choice in the matter. I never did.”

Elan faltered again. No, she had no choice—but that didn't matter. He was right about the Closest, and he
would
save Aredann. She wasn't going to die, and neither was anyone else, as long as his plan worked. There was no reason for her to be so furious about it, and no point in arguing with her about it, either.

“I'm not ready to tell everyone what you can do, yet,” he said instead. “I want to know as much about your power as I can before I tell anyone. Does anyone else know about this?”

“My brother,” she said.

“Another Closest,” he said. “That's good. You will not speak of this to anyone else—and make sure he doesn't, either. Do you understand that?”

“Yes.” She glowered for a moment before adding, “Highest.”

He ignored the disrespect as he continued, “And there's too much at risk here for me to let you wander about this estate alone. From now on, you'll serve as my personal attendant, so I can keep an eye on you. Your brother can tend the grounds, or someone else. It doesn't matter.”

That finally seemed to break through Jae's wall of rage. Her gaze dropped, her shoulders hunched a little, and she nodded.

“And finally, you will
not
use magic unless I'm there to supervise you. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Highest,” she said.

“Make sure you remember—and that your brother knows, too.”

Again she nodded.

“Good.” But as he spoke, the hair at the back of his neck pricked up as if it were caught in a breeze, and his skin went oddly chilly. He shuddered, glancing around, sure someone was watching him from a window or—or
something.
But Jae was the only one there.

Jae, who still stood rigidly, again lifted her head to glare at him. She would obey him, though he had no doubt that she hated every single order he'd given her. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the magic.

He turned and swept back inside, knowing she'd follow.

Serving as Lord Elan's personal attendant should have been an easy job, but Jae couldn't stop seething. The work wasn't physically demanding—just running errands for him, serving meals, and pouring drinks as she had during lunch recently. The rest of the time, instead of working outside, she waited nearby, silently mending a basketful of old clothing. Sewing wasn't her strongest skill, but her mother had taught her along with Tal and Gali before she'd died. She'd explained that they had to be useful, prepared for any task at all, because they were so lucky. The rest of the Closest—dozens, maybe hundreds, from the way Gali described them—worked in the sun all day, tending the fields that kept Aredann alive. It was grueling, difficult labor, and the sun had even less mercy than the Avowed. Jae's mother had always reminded her, no matter how much she hated the jobs she was given, she was still lucky.

She didn't
feel
lucky. Not if all being lucky meant was suffering less than the others, with just as little choice in the matter. Not if being lucky meant sitting in a room with Avowed who didn't care that the Closest were all going to die, who saw her as nothing but a set of hands to put to work, or worse, a body to use. Not if being lucky meant being near Rannith.

Lord Elan barely even glanced at her, caught up in the Avowed who were fawning over him. They acted as if they were grateful that he was going to force them to leave Aredann—as if it were a kindness he was doing for them, pulling them away from the only home they'd ever known. But maybe they did see it that way, because
they
were going to survive.

It didn't help her any to think about what Lord Elan had said, that he'd use her power as a way to save Aredann and the Closest's lives. Saving Aredann his way would mean the Avowed would stay, and the Closest would be ruled over by Lady Shirrad and the others forever. Nothing would ever change, and even though Jae had only been learning how to use her magic, she'd felt as if she'd been so close.

Now, ordered not to use magic without his supervision, her power wasn't even her own. She'd only had it for a few days, and already it had been stolen from her.

She served the Avowed lunch and dinner. After dinner ended, Shirrad finally glanced at her, and stared for a moment. Even cleaned up, Jae knew she didn't look like much: a stick figure in a plain tan shift, bare feet showing under the frayed hem. Shirrad frowned at her and then looked at Lord Elan. “I'm sorry I couldn't provide you with a proper attendant, Highest. But are you certain that girl is…I'm sure I could find
someone
more suitable.”

Jae went still, waiting by the kitchen door, but he gestured for her to keep moving, clearing dishes. “She's fine, Lady.”

As Jae walked into the kitchen, her grip on the dishes so tight that her hand almost ached, she heard Shirrad mention Tal. Lord Elan laughed in response. Lady Shirrad didn't say anything more about Jae after that, and no one else seemed to notice her at all.

The last of her duties was to help Lord Elan prepare for the night. She followed him to his room silently and poured him a mug of water while he stripped off his robe, shirt, and pants, leaving him in just his underclothes. She was careful not to look too closely at him as she handed him the mug, nerves suddenly outweighing her simmering anger.

He watched her, though, as he drank his water and she put his discarded clothing away. Her skin crawled when she sensed his gaze, but all he said was “Drink, if you want to.”

His tone somehow made it a peace offering, and she took it even though she had no interest in making peace. For all she'd been inside all day, it was still cursed hot and she'd only had a few gulps of water with lunch and dinner.

As she drank, he added, “We'll make time to see what you can do tomorrow. I'll tell Shirrad…I'll think of something. They can't keep me busy constantly.”

Jae glanced at him, nodding just slightly in acknowledgment so he'd know she heard, while she put the mug away.

He gestured again. “And that—there's no point in you doing that, nodding instead of talking when there's no one else around. I hate the silence, and you certainly had plenty to say yesterday. You may speak, when it's just the two of us.”

At his expectant look, she said, “Very well, Highest.”

“Good. You may go.”

She nodded again out of habit but didn't have anything to say to him. He watched her for another long moment but didn't say anything to her, either, so she let herself out.

Tal wasn't in the Closest's quarters, though Gali was, trying to smooth her hair back into a braid. She was muddy and sweaty, and groaned, “I don't know how you do it, Jae. Every day outside like that.”

“You're the one Firran assigned to the grounds,” Jae realized. All Jae had told Firran was that Lord Elan had asked for her as his attendant—Lord Elan hadn't cared who handled the grounds.

Gali nodded miserably. “I'm no good at it. I wish Lord Elan had asked for
me
as his attendant.”

Jae thought about the water Lord Elan had given her, and it only made her angrier. She should be using her magic to help Gali, not him. But she'd been forbidden to talk about any of it, so all she said was “I hate being inside, surrounded by all of
them.
”

“I'd switch back with you, if I could,” Gali said. “I'm used to them. And when Lady Shirrad sees what a mess I've made of the grounds…”

“I'll help you,” Jae offered. “If I have the time.”

“Thank you,” Gali said, finally tying off the twine at the end of her braid. “I don't know what I'd do without you and Tal. He's been helping me, too, when he can. This is
awful.
”

Jae nodded again, glancing over at the mat Gali and Tal shared. Tal still wasn't back by the time she fell asleep.

She dreamed of flowers in a ring again. Not around the fountain this time but around an oasis— No, it was too big for that, more water than even the largest reservoir. Perfectly calm, a bright blue reflection of the sky, with barely a ripple across the surface. A rainbow of flowers ran the whole way around it, a circle broken only by patches of trees and bushes, plants too large to grow anywhere without so much water.

Jae rose well before dawn to get ready for the day. She glanced out at the garden and took a quick walk around the grounds so she could give Gali a better idea of what needed to be done, ducked into the kitchen for a few mouthfuls of breakfast, then hurried upstairs to wake the rest of the household. The cook and kitchen attendants were already up, and the Closest never slept in, but most of the Avowed needed to be woken for the meal. It was one of the few times Closest had been granted permission to speak.

Most of the Avowed woke easily, with relatively little coaxing. Jae's heart thudded in her chest as she knocked on Lord Rannith's door, but he yelled that he was awake before she let herself in, thankfully, so she moved on without having to see him.

Lord Desinn, sleeping in the guest quarters, woke grudgingly as Jae repeated his name. Then he waved her away. She padded out of his room quickly, grateful he hadn't needed anything else. She was still anxious after being so near Lord Rannith, and she didn't know Lord Desinn or his habits at all. Some Avowed were always unhappy to get up in the morning.

Next was Lady Shirrad, also in a set of guest rooms, as she'd given up her quarters to Lord Elan. At least Jae knew what to expect when she opened the door, the Lady's name on the tip of her tongue.

Tal was lying on the mat next to her. Lady Shirrad was on her side, eyes still shut, but Tal was studying the ceiling, perfectly still except for his blinking eyes and the rise and fall of his chest. Jae swallowed hard, shuddering as she realized they were both undressed.

Tal pushed himself up to his elbows and waved silently. He wasn't allowed to speak, or to wake Lady Shirrad; that was Jae's duty this morning, and the Curse would allow only her to do it. Jae swallowed again, her stomach churning, and managed to say “Lady Shirrad.
Lady,
please, it's time to wake.”

Shirrad stirred, rolling over on the mat, and then sat up. Tal echoed the gesture, silent and graceful, and Shirrad placed a possessive hand on his arm. “Yes, yes, I'm awake. Tal, bring me something to drink before you help me dress.”

Tal nodded, standing up from the mat. Jae padded back out of the room and waited in the hallway for a few moments until Tal came out, still tying his braided belt. He touched his hand to her elbow, smiling, but she could tell it was forced, an expression he hoped would put her at ease. As if she didn't know him well enough to recognize what he was doing.

“I'm all right,” he breathed, barely a murmur, and led the way toward the kitchen. Only Lord Elan's room had water kept in it for convenience.

“Tal—” Jae started.

He shook his head. “I really am, Jae. You know she treats me better than you or Gali.”

“But—”

“It's
fine,
” he interrupted. Then, his voice softening, “She's going to give me Firran's position soon. Everything will be easier then, for both of us.”

Something dark and hard formed in Jae's chest as Tal walked into the kitchen and she continued down the hall toward Lord Elan's quarters. The Curse had let Tal say all of that, so maybe he'd convinced himself it was true, that what Lady Shirrad did was fine because he'd get something out of it. But just because he believed that didn't make it right. Gali had spent the night alone and miserable, and whether Shirrad treated Tal well or not, he still had no choice in the matter. It wasn't fair. What Shirrad did to Tal was no better than what Rannith had done to
her—

The world around her went bright, even though there were no windows in the stone corridor. She fell backward against the wall, letting it hold her weight as she gasped in breaths. Her fingers scrabbled at the smooth stone, and she tried to focus on that, to let the sensation ground her. All she could think about was Tal, lying awake on Shirrad's mat, what had happened to him, to her, to Gali, to every other Closest in the household.

Energy sang around her, bright and pure, begging her to reach out for it. Her head pounded as the Curse reminded her: she wasn't allowed. Lord Elan had forbidden it, and even though all she wanted was to pull that energy into herself, to find a way to use it to take revenge, she couldn't.

She took a deep breath, then another, pressed her palms flat against the stone and leaned on it, the wall cool against the back of her neck. She shut her eyes and waited until the sense of power receded, the light dimming, the need to do something with her magic fading away.

She woke Lord Elan and helped him dress. He regarded himself critically in the mirror, rubbing his palm against the stubble on his chin, then ran his hand through his curls. “Help me pull this into some kind of order,” he said. “I can go a few more days without shaving, but I'm starting to look like a mess.”

Maybe she was allowed to speak, but holding her tongue seemed like the better idea, especially when she was so close to him. His hair was finer than hers, his curls falling in loose ringlets instead of tight spirals, and it was just long enough for her to pull back at the nape of his neck. She tied it with a piece of bright green cord, fingers brushing his neck accidentally. His skin was warm where she grazed it, and he smelled like sweat and perfume. Her chest tightened, and it was all she could do to keep her hands steady. Gali would have been much better at this; Gali, or Tal, or anyone else.

She took several long steps back the moment she finished, while Lord Elan looked in the mirror and frowned. Even Jae could see he wasn't as polished as when he'd arrived at Aredann, but he was still handsome, with sharp cheekbones and a strong jawline despite its current stubble, and warm, dark eyes. Jae turned away quickly, not wanting him to notice her looking and get the wrong idea. Or get any idea at all.