Bound by Decency (32 page)

Pushing past
Alex
,
India
beat a hasty retreat from the poop deck. The laughter that rang out behind her fueled the fury that boiled in her veins. With a heavy shove, she set the door to Cain’s private hall shuddering on its hinges. She swept down the corridor and barged into his cabin.

Inside the dimly lit confines, her unspent anger had her feet wearing a hole in the planks. Back and forth she made the short trek between the bed and his desk. How dare that pathetic excuse for a woman insinuate Cain’s charms and good looks swayed her out of impending wedlock. True, she’d fallen for his handsome face, but her decision to refuse her vows had nothing to do with something so childish. A fact Cain could attest to, if he’d felt so inclined.

Another thought stopped
India
in her tracks.
Had
Cain set out to sway her with seduction? A shiver gripped her. Had she somehow become an even greater pawn than what she’d originally believed? Alex greeted Cain intimately. Their names circulated together. Could it be possible that the both of them enjoyed something more intimate than friendship? Did Alex’s unpleasant greeting come from the fact Cain had another woman aboard his ship?

India
dropped her head into her hands and massaged her temples.
Don’t be absurd.
Cain’s desire for her was real enough. Last night proved that beyond all argument. Moreover, he lacked the cold disregard necessary to execute such a plan. If Alex and he were involved,
she
would have come to his aid, not Drake.

But why had he said so very little in her defense?

Lifting her head,
India
took a deep breath. She would not let Alex unravel her.
The Kraken
was her home, at least for now. Cain hadn’t leapt at the suggestion she stay, but he hadn’t refused either. She still inhabited his bed, and unless that changed, she had no cause to suspect his strange behavior came from anything other than the fact he was focused on putting his ship to sea.

351

Bound By Decency

31

I
ndia
drank slowly from the tankard someone had passed her an hour or so ago and welcomed the harsh burn that scalded her throat. When she’d calmed down enough to return to the deck and found Cain absent, she’d braved the mess. Now she questioned the wisdom of her decision. The drunken sailors whose hands occasionally strayed beneath the heavy table to rest upon her knee grated on her nerves. Those, however, she’d quickly learned how to evade. With a handful of
Nassau
’s whores still aboard, the seamen were easily diverted by a casual suggestion their hands would be better warmed by covering a nearly naked breast. The way they fled their seats in pursuit almost made her laugh.

She might have, if Alex weren’t sitting in Cain’s lap. Where she’d perched more than once since their meal of pork and grits concluded.

No, the seamen were not so troublesome. The woman who found both Drake and Cain’s thighs more inviting than the empty seats had
India
wanting to rip out her wild curls by the fistfuls. Cain’s lack of protest made
India
wish she knew how to pack ball and powder into the muzzle of a pistol.

Draped across his lap, Alex wrapped her hands around Cain’s tankard and pushed it to his mouth. “Come now, Cain, ye be as borin’ as a clam. Drink up. It’ll make yer conscious easier to face.”

What conscious? As far as
India
could tell, he had none. He certainly felt no compulsion to relieve his legs of the newfound weight.

“Aye, relieve you of your infernal decency,” Drake joined in from across the crowded room. “If you’ve come so far you cannot drink, doomed you be.”

Cain’s mouth twisted with amusement. He set one hand on Alex’s waist. With the other, he pushed her hands aside and reclaimed his mug. Tossing his head back, he drank deeply. As he lowered the mug, his gaze lifted over Alex’s shoulder and settled on
India
. He watched her intently, the humor in his eyes fading. He gave Alex’s bottom a pat and pushed his mug into her hands. “Find me another.”

Doomed indeed. Doomed to sleep on the hard cold planks of his cabin. God’s teeth! How could she have come to care for such a lout? She’d deluded herself, allowed his charm to convince her into thinking he felt something for her. Perhaps he did, but clearly nothing more than he might feel for any random bit of skirt. He was a lout and a knave. A pirate of the truest sort. And though he’d tried to convince her to see him as he truly was,
India
had blinded herself to the truth. She was nothing to him. His avoidance of her deliberate suggestion, his refusal to speak on her behalf, and now this, all pointed to the obvious fact she was a pawn. A trifle. Something to be forgotten once Richard lay in a watery grave.

Fury, longing, and sorrow waged war in her heart. Cain’s debauchery shouldn’t bother her, and yet it did. More than she cared to admit.

As Alex eased out of Cain’s lap, she pressed her lips to his cheek. She set his mug on the table and barked out a husky laugh. “I do not do yer biddin’, handsome. Get yer own.” She moved to the empty chair beside Drake, and for the briefest moment of time, her expression softened. The bawdy woman disappeared, replaced by almost likeable tenderness. She ran her fingers through Drake’s untamed waves and pushed his hair away from his face. His hand caught hers, pulled it gently free, and brought the flesh of her palm to his mouth.

Alex’s lips parted, but she jerked away from Drake. She caught his mug from between his knees and lifted it high. “A toast, I say! To findin’ the scurvy lot who took
Triton’s Jewel
and washin’ the decks with their blood!” Unconcerned about putting her mouth where Drake’s had been, she drank from the pewter tankard.

Deafening cheers erupted. The women giggled. Cain’s gaze locked on
India
, and she flushed beneath the heat in his stare. Her blood warmed, and moisture gathered between her legs. For heaven’s sake, she was no better than the rest of the harlots surrounding her.

She ground her teeth together. Yes she was. Cain might have introduced her to the pleasures of being a woman, but she had not become a slave, nor would she leap at the first bone he threw her.

Alex sauntered back to Cain, once more placing herself astride his lap. “Now ye bein’ a good captain, an all the like, show us a bit of yer spirit.” She squeezed his biceps, her lips twisting with a wry smirk. “Show me, mighty Cain, that ye’ve not forgotten what it be like to sail with me.”

Jealousy ripped through
India
, a bitter pill to swallow. She shoved out of her chair, knocking it over in the process. Silence descended on the hall, and the weight of the sailors’ stares bore into her back. Refusing to look behind her and witness Cain’s response to Alex’s challenge,
India
stalked from the room.

****

I
n the wake of
India
’s abrupt departure, thick tension descended on the mess. Cain’s men looked to him, anticipating his reaction. The weeks of sailing in her company instilled in them a great respect for her. Though he’d been keenly aware of each roving hand that strayed her way, he knew their intent held no true threat. He’d have stopped them, had she not proved so adequate at defending herself.

Even Drake, who sat unmoving, grey eyes watching intently, expected his temper. Alex remained the only one who seemingly could not grasp the sincerity behind his warning that he would not abide by mistreating
India
.

He looked up at her expectant face, the humor dancing in her eyes, and knew she had pushed
India
purposefully. Placing herself in his lap—she’d never perched atop him before, and this was no product of displaced attraction. Calculating and sharp, she’d used him as a means to inflict the blows he’d forbidden.

Rage reared its head, but he couldn’t fault her alone. Determined
India
should learn the cold reality of the life she found so fascinating, he’d done nothing to stop the invisible knives Alex threw. She might be female, but she embodied the meaning of
pirate.
Cain’s crew spared
India
their true natures out of loyalty to him. Few others would exhibit the courtesy, and he wouldn’t always be present to protect her. But this, he’d let go too far. He hadn’t taught
India
anything. All he’d done was wound her.

Cain met Alex’s laughing eyes. In a voice meant only for her ears, he warned, “Get off me.”

Sobriety cleared Alex’s expression. Violet eyes widened a fraction, and in a manner that contrasted with her headstrong nature, she complacently slid off his lap. Once again at Drake’s side, her amusement found courage. “Poor Cain. Marked by a slip of girl who plays at sea-born life. Ye’ve turned so bloody soft.”

Cain rose from his chair with deliberate slowness. The men closest to him gave him a wide berth. He observed even the whores’ smiles dimmed.

“Enough, Alex,” Drake murmured. “
India
is no threat to you.”

Giving Alex one last glower, Cain marched to the main hatch ladder. He climbed as if his life depended on it. Perhaps it did. The seizing of his chest suggested it might.

On the main deck, he ordered himself to walk, not run, to his hall and the cabin beyond. His footsteps echoed ominous, but the silence beyond his door brought even darker foreboding. He debated knocking, then chastised himself for the foolishness. This was his cabin. He had no need to knock.

He thrust the door open and entered.
India
stood beside the bed, arms crossed over her chest, gaze fastened on the water. “
India
—”

“Not a word, I won’t hear it!” She spun around, the fury in her eyes burning bright. “If it’s Alex you want to carry on with, then deposit me on the nearest shore. I’ll find my way to
Brighthelmstone and my father’s estate.
”

He stiffened like a schoolboy taken to task by the master. Annoyed with his absurd reaction, he scowled. “You’re mistaken.”

“Am I?” She took a step forward and squeezed his arms as Alex had done. Affecting Alex’s brogue,
India
cocked her head and mocked, “Show me what it’s like to sail with me.”

Possessed by feeling he could not explain, Cain caught her to him. His mouth crashed into hers, hard and demanding. She pushed at his shoulders, and he ignored the bite of her nails. Slowly, deliberately, he kissed her until the rage that burned within him quieted to tolerable limits. When he let her go, she shoved away with so much force, she stumbled.

“That’s what it’s like to sail with you,
India
,” he confessed on a haggard breath.

For one moment, he thought she might believe him, and what had happened in the mess would vanish into the unmentionable past. Her expression clouded with something he couldn’t define. The hand she brushed against her mouth trembled in the dim light. But in the next heartbeat, whatever moved her disappeared with her sharp, disbelieving snort. “Me, and Alex, and whomever takes your fancy. I was just the naïve fool who thought it meant something.”

“No,” he whispered. The tightness in his lungs felt as if someone had set boulders on his chest. He struggled for a breath. Managed only a shallow gasp. “
India
, stop.” He reached for her, his fingers grazing her arm as she turned away. Desperate to stop this nonsense he caught her with his other hand and wrestled her into his arms. “No. You have everything wrong.”

She twisted, her fingers prying at his. He held fast, determined not to let her go.

“I see no reason to argue this, Cain. Alex and you have a history, it’s plain to see. I refuse to be part of it.” She shoved again at his chest. “Let me go!” Her voice caught on the sob she tried to hide by ducking her head.

“Perhaps once,” Cain answered quietly. He tried to stop the words, knowing whatever he said would only make things worse. For her. For him. The words would only bind them further. Bring them straight into the formidable place where they had no future and what time they might claim would end all too soon. But his throat refused to obey, and the battle that warred within him broke free. “Alex and I had one night, years ago. It was a product of nothing more than two persons who had been at sea too long.” He smoothed one hand down the long silken length of
India
’s hair. “Nothing like what you provoke inside of me. There are times I feel like I am dreaming. That at any moment I might wake and find my cabin empty, your presence nothing but a product of my imagination.”

She trembled in his arms. The rigidness of her spine relaxed, and she leaned her weight against his chest. “I don’t understand,” she whispered into his shoulder. “The way you’ve behaved today…”

“Ah, sweet
India
.” He ran his hands down the length of her arms and captured her hands. His fingers wound through hers, and as he brought their hands between their bodies, she lifted watery eyes to his. The glimmer in those wide blue pools clawed at Cain’s heart. He’d kidnapped her, threatened her, and
only
once had he seen her cry
—when she had been in physical pain
. Not
like
now, when
he held sole responsibility for her tears.  All because he’d foolishly tried
to push her away out of a desperate desire to keep her at his side.

He kissed her eyelids before the tears could slip down her cheeks. Wordlessly, he led her to the edge of the bed and took a seat at her side. “You give me hope I dare not believe in. Once I dreamed of a life free from this. A home on the bluffs, overlooking the sea, where I could always be close to the water, but free of its chains. A family...A wife.” His gaze searched hers, begging her to believe. One solitary tear trickled down her cheek. It fueled his resolve. Gave him courage to admit what he would have never confessed. He leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. Softly. Reverently. “In your kiss,” he whispered against her mouth, “I know that place.” He brought one unsteady hand up to cup the side of her face. “In your eyes, I see it clearly.” With his other hand, he settled her palm over his heart and flattened it with the press of his. “In your fingertips, I feel the breeze in my hair.”

She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, then swallowed as if it required great effort. “What are you saying?” she whispered.

“Alex is so far removed from that paradise,
India
, she could never take me there. Even if she weren’t brash and crude, she and Drake are lovers. Suited to each other with their wild ways. But I wanted you to see the truth behind this life. The way it is, even amongst the women.”

Her delicate eyebrows pulled together. “Why?”

Cain closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. His insides shook as if he had just outmaneuvered a hurricane.
Because I love you.
But though he had given all the other secrets of his heart freedom, he could not release those words. She would never understand how he could confess them and walk away when he must inevitably return her. He looked at her again, choosing the half-truth, “To convince you out of this notion to stay.”