Bound by Ivy (17 page)

53

I visit Annabel a few more times during the week, and she has good days and bad days. When I see the forms she has to fill in, I get more and more desperate to talk to Marc. I’ve seen those forms before, and I know it’s really important that Annabel has her own place if she’s going to get her son back. So I need to ask Marc if he can help.

When Friday comes around, I spend most of the day doing internet research
at the cottage. I need to know all the laws and regulations about adoption and custody, so I can tell Marc exactly what Annabel needs. It’s important that I don’t leave out any detail. We have to get everything right if Annabel stands a chance of getting her son back.

By evening time, I’ve got together a long list for Marc and I’m feeling really positive about Annabel’s future.

Rodney cooks us all a delicious lasagne for dinner, and after we’ve eaten I soak in a hot bath while Sammy sleeps. Jen has already driven back to her apartment and Dad is at work, so the house is nice and quiet – except for the sounds of Rodney tidying the kitchen.

I’m just towelling myself dry when I hear the doorbell downstairs.

‘I’ll get it,’ Rodney calls.

I hear the c
lump of heavy feet and Leo’s voice in our hallway.

‘Just coming,’ I call out, running out of the bathroom in my towel, and heading to the guest bedroom.

Typical Leo – he’s standing at the bottom of the staircase as I run past, so he gets a full-length view of me bound up in a white towel, my hair soaking wet.

‘Nice outfit,’ he calls up.
‘I thought you might like some company on the way to the show again.’

‘Wait in the lounge. I’ll be right down.’

After I’ve dressed in leggings, Ugg boots and a huge pink sweater, I head downstairs, still towelling my hair.

Leo is lounging on the sofa wearing ripped jeans and a sweatshirt with a picture of a pastel sunset on it.

‘Ah, my favourite co-star. All dressed up and ready to go,’ says Leo. ‘I thought I’d pick you up tonight. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘No,’ I say, truthfully. ‘It’ll be nice to have the company in the limo.’

‘Hey, what are those yellow flowers in your front garden called? They’re awesome.’

‘Daffodils,’ I say. ‘They al
ways come up early around here. I have no idea why.’

‘Daff-o-dils,’ says Leo. ‘I sho
uld write that down. I want to tell my mom about them. She loves yellow flowers.’

‘They’re really easy
to grow,’ I say. ‘Just put the bulbs in the ground and that’s it. They come up every year. If you like the front garden, you should see the back. It’s covered in them right now.’

‘Wow. Can I see?’

‘Sure.’

Leo follows me outside, an
d I point out the bright daffodils sprouting from every flowerbed. They make a blanket of yellow petals around the lawn.

‘P
retty,’ says Leo.

‘Aren’t they?’

‘You know, I’m sure gonna miss you. When the show finishes.’

‘We’ve got
ages
before the show finishes,’ I protest. ‘We’re only half way through the run.’

‘I guess maybe time is going slower for you than it is for me,’ says Leo, throwing me a wonky grin. ‘But you’re having fun, right? At least some of the time?’

I smile. ‘Yes. It’s fun. Working with you is fun. And performing is fun too. I just wish I didn’t miss Marc so much.’

‘Still miss him, huh?’ says Leo.

I nod. ‘More than ever.’

‘Shame. But if you ever get lonely in the night, you know where I am.’

I laugh.

‘Hey, laugh all you like,
but if it wasn’t for Marc Blackwell you might just have given me a shot by now. We could be living happily ever after.’

‘
You’re not my type. And you’re only interested in
me
because you can’t have me.’

‘
So
untrue,’ says Leo. ‘Well. Maybe a little bit true. But how do you know I’m not your type?’

‘I just know.’

‘I always thought I’d hate frozen yoghurt. And then I tried it. And now I love the stuff.’

‘Trust
me. I don’t need to try you out to know you’re not my type.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ Leo drops his face so our noses are almost touching. He
rests a hand on my shoulder. ‘You could be missing out on something incredible.’

Before I know what’s happening, his lips touch mine and his arms come around my body, pulling me close.

54

It feels like
so long since I’ve been held or kissed. So very, very long. And as Leo’s lips press harder against mine and begin moving softly, I don’t pull away. I let it happen, because I’ve missed this – being close to someone. Feeling someone’s hand stroke my hair. Strong arms around my body.

Leo’s
lips work back and forth, opening and exploring. His hand slides around my hair and his chest presses tight against mine. I have to admit, it feels good. But it’s Marc I’ve missed kissing. I don’t want to kiss anyone else.

I pull away, feeling a shame I’ve never known before.
My skin is sticky with guilt.

I step back, shaking my head
. ‘Oh god. Leo I didn’t mean for that to happen -’

Leo runs his fingers through his thick, blond hair. ‘
Actually, I didn’t either. Guess I just had to try it out.’

‘You did that
all right,’ I whisper, feeling guilt, shame and embarrassment tumbling around in one awful sickly spin cycle. ‘God, why did I let that happen? Why? I love Marc.’

I look away from Leo, feeling tears come.

‘Hey.’ Leo puts steadying hands on my shoulders. ‘It wasn’t your fault. I kissed you, remember? And you’ve been away from your boyfriend for over a month. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Be hard on me instead. It was my fault. I should have realised how vulnerable you were.’

Tears slide down
my cheeks. ‘I have to tell Marc what happened.’

Leo shakes his head.
‘No you don’t. It was an accident, that’s all. And it wasn’t your fault. I should have known better. We’re friends and nothing more. I should know that by now. You’ve told me often enough.’

‘I can’t keep it a secret
,’ I say, close to tears.

‘Who would you tell
him for? Him or yourself?’

‘
He’ll find out, Leo. Whether I tell him or not. There are cameras out here.’ I feel sick. ‘I don’t want to risk him finding out second-hand. It has to come from me.’

‘I don’t see why it’s such a big deal,’ says Leo. ‘It was just a friendly kiss, that’s all. We
kiss on stage every night.’

I chew at
my thumbnail. ‘I shouldn’t have let it happen.’

‘
Then at least tell him it was my fault. I mean, it
was
my fault.’

I shake my head. ‘I should have pulled away sooner.’

‘Hey, you’re only human.’

‘Please don’t joke.’

‘Sorry. But seriously, that kiss was nothing. I could tell you weren’t into it. It was a stupid thing to do. I’m an idiot.’

‘You and me both,’ I say, feeling the nausea wrap itself around my waist.
‘I need to find him. Right now.’

‘But what about the show?’

I hesitate.

‘Are you going to just disappear and let down all th
ose people?’ Leo asks.

‘I …’

‘Come on, Sophia. You know as well as I do that your audience can’t wait. They’ve paid to see you tonight.’

I find my eyes drifting to the pink patio stones under my
feet.

‘Don’t you have your weekly phone call with Marc tonight?’
Leo asks.

I nod.

‘So. Call him after the show,’ says Leo. ‘He probably doesn’t even know what just happened. Maybe he won’t care. I mean, it’s no big deal. I kissed you and you pulled away.’

‘
Okay,’ I say, the sinking feeling reaching my toes. ‘Yes, you’re right. The audience can’t wait.’

55

All through the show I feel sick. I perform okay – I’m kind of on automatic pilot, reading my lines and singing my songs like a robot. But the whole time I’m driving myself crazy, wondering what’s going to happen when I tell Marc.

When the curtain falls, I’m just a mess. I don’t know what to feel or think.

What if Marc leaves me?
What if he leaves me
? God, I can’t even bear to think that …

I run
straight to my dressing room and grab my phone. But of course, there’s no reception down there, so I change and head up to the street.

I’m buffeted around by the theatre crowds on the street as I dial Marc’s number again, and to my relief the call connects
first time.

‘
Sophia?’ Marc’s voice is low. ‘Where are you? You’re supposed to get straight in the limo after the show.’

‘I needed to speak to you,’ I blurt out, my voice shaky. ‘Marc, something happened. S
omething bad. I need to see you.’

‘Sophia, calm down. Tell me what’s wrong. Are you okay? Are you hurt.’

‘No, nothing like that.’

‘Good
.’ I hear the relief in Marc’s voice. ‘Get in the limo. Keith will drive you to Ivy College. I’ll meet you there.’

*****

As Keith and I drive through London, it begins to rain. Lightly at first, and then in big heavy drops that splatter on the windscreen and cover the glass with water. By the time we reach Ivy College, a full on storm is underway. The sky tumbles with grey clouds, and sparks of lightning flash around the college turrets.

I run through the grounds of Ivy College in the rain, and by the time I reach my bedroom I’m soaked. I sit on my bed, shivering and dialling Marc’s number.

‘Sophia.’

‘
It’s me.’

‘
Have you changed out of your wet clothes?’

‘How did
you know my clothes were wet?’

‘The college security cameras filmed you running across the grounds, covering your head with your coat. When you reached the accommodation block, you were soaked through.’

‘Marc, there’s something I need to tell you.’

‘Promise me you’re not hurt.’

‘I’m not hurt.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘It’s about Leo.’

Silence.

‘Marc?’

‘I’m listening.’

‘We … Leo and I kissed.’

More silence.

‘It didn’t mean anything,’ I say, my words garbled and fast. ‘Truly it didn’t. We were just joking around and he kissed me, and then I pulled away. It meant absolutely nothing to me. I was just missing you, missing being near you, and I think it made me all confused. I should have pulled away sooner, but … I didn’t. I feel so awful about it. So terrible. Marc, I love you. I love you so much.’

‘Leo kissed you?’ says Marc, his words slow.

‘And I let him.’

Marc let’s out a long sigh. ‘Sophia, I understand.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes. This was … my plan, in a way. When your father suggested time apart,
I wanted you to spend time with Leo. To see if he was the right man for you after all. The better man. The man who can give you a better life – no press controversy, no dark sides. So I understand. And I love you enough to let you go.’

I shake my head at the phone. ‘Please Marc …
please
. Listen to me. I love you. I don’t love Leo. I don’t feel that way about him at all. I didn’t need to kiss him to know that – I knew before. Forgive me Marc, please. I love you so much.’

‘I forgive you,’ says Marc. ‘Forgiveness isn’t the issue. The issue is who the right man is
for you. And the right man could be Leo.’

‘No. He isn’t. Leo’s my friend. Nothing more.’

A long pause.

‘
You have to believe me,’ I say. ‘Please. It’s you. It’s only ever been you.’

‘
I’m coming to see you.’

My throat goes
tight. ‘Marc?’

But the line has already gone dead.

I call
Marc straight back and he picks up after two rings. That’s two rings slower than usual.

‘Marc
—’

‘Sophia, I told you. I’m coming over. You don’t need to know any more
than that.’

‘
Marc, please don’t break up with me.’

‘
Sophia, calm down,’ Marc replies softly. ‘I’ll be there soon.’

The line clicks off again, and I’m left staring at my phone
.

I sit on my bed and wait, watching the door and jumping like a crazy woman at t
he slightest sound. When half an hour has passed, I hear a knock.

I know it’s Marc – not just because of the sharpnes
s of the knock, but also because whoever is outside climbed the stairs so stealthily that I didn’t hear them.

I climb off the b
ed.

‘
Wait. Don’t open the door.’ It’s Marc’s voice.

I hesitate
. ‘Wait here?’

‘Yes.’

I hear something – a slight skidding s
ound like a t-shirt being taken off – and see a dark, thin object slide under the door.

I lean forwards.

‘What’s that?’ I ask.

‘A blindfol
d. Get off the bed and put it on.’

I’m totally confused now. ‘A blindfold? But … why?’

‘Because we have an agreement with your father. You’re not allowed to see me. And I intend to stick to that agreement.’

‘
Oh.’

Sliding off the bed, I pick up
the blindfold, feeling its silky fabric stroke my fingers.

‘
Put on the blindfold. Then open the door.’