Bound by the Unborn Baby (16 page)

He took the settee, placing a long envelope on the coffee table.

‘I have something to tell you prior to an official announcement. If you don’t approve, that’s hard luck. It’s a done deed.’

They both stiffened. He paused. This was for his sister, his friend.
Their baby.

‘Alina and I were married yesterday evening.’

‘What?’ His father sprang up.

‘Sit down, Martin.’

Sophia’s curt tone had its effect. He obeyed, glaring at his son. She continued, her censure radiating through the air.

‘Is this some sort of warped joke because you took umbrage at our concerns over her background? I know application forms need to be lodged a month before, so...’

‘It was done. We had a quiet wedding, with friends as witnesses.’

His mother went rigid, unusually lost for words. It was his father who spoke.

‘Really, Ethan. We coped with immature dramas from your sister. Never expected any from
you
. You’ve always been practical and reasonable—’

‘Maybe too much so,’ Ethan cut in brusquely. ‘I lost precious time with Louise and Leon because you would not accept they were meant for each other. Time I’ll never get back now they’re gone.’

Dismissing the protests that erupted from both of them, he leant forward, balanced his elbows on his knees and clenched his hands together.

‘I love Alina.’ Not a lie. It wasn’t the same as being
in
love. How could he not love someone who’d given him the most priceless gift he’d ever have? ‘And anyone who upsets or disrespects her will be out of my life. I don’t give a damn what people think or say. Accept it or not—she’s my wife, my priority.’

He waited, quite prepared to walk out. The looks they exchanged didn’t faze him. He didn’t care what explanation they gave their social acquaintances for his hurried secret wedding. Their society image mattered only to
them
. Tragedy had taught him that there were far more important things in life.

His mother finally found her voice. ‘How are we supposed to explain this rushed event to our friends?’

All they cared about was how it would affect their image. He almost laughed out loud—couldn’t remember when he’d last heard genuine amusement from either of them. Alina had a quiet sense of humour, enjoyed quirky comedies, and encouraged him to see the fun in them too.

‘That’s not my concern.’ He flicked the envelope with his finger. ‘This is a copy of the notice that will be placed in the paper on Saturday, plus a list of friends and relatives whom I will inform later this week. I would prefer you to wait until then to tell anyone else. We’ll be away on our honeymoon until Sunday, so I’ll only be answering urgent calls.’

‘What about the Starburst chain?’ His father sounded shell shocked.

‘Under control.’

‘I see. As usual, you’ve covered everything.’

He wasn’t fooled by his mother’s resigned tone.

‘Will we see you when you return?’

He hesitated. Dared he trust them around Alina, especially as her pregnancy would soon be apparent?

‘That depends on your attitude. Our baby’s due in October.’

Ignoring their gasps and aggrieved expressions, he stood up.

‘I’m happier right now than I have ever been in my life, and thrilled that my wife is carrying my baby. Anyone who isn’t can just stay away.’

He said goodbye soon after, breathing a sigh of relief as he went through the gates. He ought to feel guilty for the subterfuge. Instead his head was filled with Alina—her beguiling smile, the way her violet eyes revealed her emotions. Her extraordinary courage.

My wife.
The simple yet profound phrase kept repeating in his brain. As he drove, singing along off-key with the radio, he felt giddy and irrationally happy. He was going home to claim another long kiss, as sweet as the one they’d shared before he left.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

‘T
URN
RIGHT
IN
four hundred metres. Clifftop Lane.’

Ethan obeyed the GPS instruction, grateful for the hassle-free drive. He pulled up in front of a white weatherboard house, switched off the engine and checked the time.

‘Twelve minutes short of the two-hour estimate. You feeling okay, darling?’

‘Apart from needing to stretch. This car rides much smoother than most of the vehicles I’ve travelled in.’ She opened her door.

He was there to help before her foot touched the ground. Arching his back, he drew in a deep breath. ‘Ahh...’

Alina followed suit. ‘Eucalyptus. Invigorating! True Australian aroma.’

His heart sang. Could she look any more beautiful, any happier? ‘Shall we take a look inside?’ He jingled the keys he’d picked up on the way through Katoomba.

‘Can we go for a walk first? I’d like to see the sun set on the mountains.’

They walked along the path behind the house. Through the trees they saw glimpses of brown, green and gold against a darkening blue sky, dotted with pink-tinged clouds.

‘Picture-perfect.’ Alina sighed, stopping to implant it into her memory.

‘I agree,’ Ethan replied, ignoring the scenery and embracing her from behind. He trailed soft kisses over her neck, revelling in the way she quivered with each one. Trembled himself when she twisted round, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.

He inhaled the spring essence that was Alina. Fought the craving to show her how much he wanted her. His heart pounded into his ribs. And darn near exploded when her lips parted, inviting more intimate contact.

Without hesitation he accepted, loving her with his tongue, aligning their bodies with pleasurable strokes of his hands, letting her know how blatantly he was aroused. His world shrank to the two of them. It was all he needed, all he desired.

Alina arched into him, letting his heat simmer through her, returning his kiss with a passion that shook her. Her anticipation had been building since they’d arrived, diminished by the expectation of guilt. When it hadn’t come, she’d pushed the boundary by kissing him.

Danger signals abated to an almost inaudible buzz. Painful consequences were a long way in the future. For the moment she was caught in the
now
. Yearning overrode everything, holding the darkness at bay.

Necessity for air broke them apart. The transparent desire in Alina’s eyes told Ethan all he wanted to know.

He swung her up, cradling her close to his chest. ‘Mine.’ Hoarse with emotion.

‘Yours...’ Hot. Breathless. Murmured into the skin above his polo shirt.

He strode back to the house, king of his universe.

* * *

The sun’s rays teased Alina’s eyelids open. She blinked, snuggled further under the cover, trying to recapture the magic of her dream. Reached out for...

Her eyes flew open.

She was cradled by a solid wall of naked muscle, moving to a gentle rhythm. Warm breath tickled her earlobe. Firm fingers lay on her hip. A delicious glow spread from her core to every extremity at the memory of Ethan’s ardent lovemaking. She turned over to look at him.

Ethan. Her husband. Her lover. Her lips curled as she recalled the tension in his muscles as he’d held his own need in check, caressing and soothing her until her barriers had finally exploded in a fiery burst of passion.

A wave of shyness engulfed her. He was a mature man who’d made love to many women. She’d only known the gentleness of first love before. Ethan had awakened the woman in her, freed her heart. But did he want it? Swearing to care for her and protect her was an abyss away from loving her.

He made a low contented sound in his throat, rolled onto his back and arched. Lazy cobalt eyes opened, widened. His lips curled in a slow, satisfied smile that held such tenderness it tugged at her heart.

‘This is the perfect way to wake in the morning.’

He reached out for her, covering her mouth with his, his tongue tempting her lips to open for him. How could they not when she’d hardly recovered from the dizzy heights he’d taken her to during the night? In this big bed that she’d never forget.

‘Ethan, I...’ Where were coherent words when she needed them? ‘Last night I...’

‘Last night was more than I’d dreamt it would be...so much more than I’d fantasised.’ He stroked her tousled hair, tangled his fingers through her curls. ‘Promise me you won’t regret what we shared. I sure as hell won’t. Never. Not for a second as long as I live.’

Alina yearned to drown in the dark blue pools of his eyes, longed to share it all again now. Couldn’t say the words.

Ethan ached to make love to her again, but saw the confusion in her bemused violet eyes. Knew he’d have to wait. Knew he’d have to find the right moment to tell her he wanted to make this marriage real in every way. Wanted her to always be his wife.

‘Go shower.’ Sometime soon he’d share one with her. ‘I’ll get breakfast, then we’ll go sightseeing.’

She nodded, shuffled to the edge of the bed and hesitated. He smiled, loving her shyness even though she’d been married before. Was married
now
. He couldn’t contain his chuckle as she shot from the bed. Paid for it as his body reacted to the sight of her running naked to the en suite. Pulling on his boxers, he headed for the kitchen, planning their day, their evening. Their night.

‘Ethan!’

The panic in her voice froze his blood, sending him racing for the bathroom, his heart pumping. A heart that screeched to a halt at the sight of her huge frightened violet eyes. He dropped to his knees in front of her, hunched forward on the toilet lid, wrapped in a white towel, her arms clasping her stomach. Dragged her to his chest, fighting his own gut-wrenching fear.

‘Alina, darling—tell me. What’s wrong?’

She shuddered. A pain-filled cry jarred against his bare skin. ‘It h-h-hurts. In my stomach—’

Her stuttering stopped with a sharp sound that cut through him.

For a second his mind went blank, refusing to process the horror her words evoked. Then it cleared. Alina needed a practical, take-action man. Lifting her as if she were delicate china, he carried her to the bed, brushing his lips across her forehead. Telling her everything would be all right. Silently cursing the fates for putting her through more torment.

Grabbing his mobile, he opened Alina’s unpacked suitcase, rummaging for underwear and a dress with one hand, thumbing his phone with the other. He wrestled into the jeans and polo top he’d worn on the trip and slid on his sneakers one-handed, holding the phone to his ear with the other.

His answers to the operator’s questions were clear and precise. Details could wait. Alina was frightened. His heart wrenched every time she shuddered and cried out. Their tiny baby might be in danger. He didn’t dare think beyond getting them to the hospital—thankfully not too far away.

With a plan in action, he helped Alina into her clothes. He murmured reassuring phrases he’d never be able to recall, trying to ignore the resurging irrational fear gnawing at his insides. He told them both how cherished they were. He couldn’t,
wouldn’t
lose either of them. They were so close to becoming a family, and he’d fight like hell to keep that prospect attainable.

* * *

True to the operator’s word, a medical team and trolley were waiting at the emergency entrance of the hospital. They whisked her away, leaving him to find a place to park.

Walking through the front doors, he was confronted with corridors, signs, and not a trace of Alina. Now she and their baby were in good care his composure crashed. His life, his future, was somewhere in this building and he wanted to be close to them.

He needed them. They needed him.

* * *

There’d be a path from his prowling back and forth worn into the waiting area if they didn’t come for him soon. How far away was she? Had she asked for him?

He repeatedly checked his watch, matched it with the clock on the wall, tensed when anyone in hospital garb walked in.

The guilt gnawing at him now was worse than he’d felt after Louise and Leon had died. This time he’d been actively to blame. Last night when Alina had welcomed him with kisses and caresses he’d loved her with a passion that had shaken him to his core. Emotions he’d have claimed not to be any part of him had surfaced, taking them both soaring to the edge of ecstasy and tipping them over.

This was
his
fault. That book said sex was safe after the first trimester as long as there were no problems. He hadn’t considered that there might be. He slammed a fist into his other palm. Prayed to all the gods that anyone believed in not to let Alina suffer another loss.

‘Mr James?’

He swung round and locked eyes with a man who hardly looked old enough to be an intern.

‘I’m sending your wife for an ultrasound and she’s asked for you to be with her. This way.’

They fell into step and he continued. ‘The physical examination shows nothing wrong. There’s no bleeding, and your child’s vital signs are strong.’

Ethan’s brain filtered out whatever came next. Tension whooshed out of him, leaving him loose and vulnerable.
Nothing wrong. Strong vital signs.
Their baby was a fighter. It didn’t lessen his culpability.

‘Doctor, last night we made love. Could that have been the cause?’

‘Alina told me. It might have some bearing, maybe not. Even if the ultrasound shows all’s well I’d like to keep her in at least overnight, so we can monitor them both.’

‘Do whatever’s necessary to keep them both safe.’

* * *

Ethan sank into a chair in the private room, his eyes glued to the monitor recording their baby’s heartbeat. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he watched that life-affirming pulse—faster than his, normal for an unborn child.

He hadn’t let go of Alina’s hand the whole time, needing the contact more than he needed air to breathe. His fingers caressed her knuckles. His free hand brushed strands of hair from her forehead. It tore him apart to see her so pale, so still, with a drip inserted in her wrist. He didn’t know what it was—didn’t care as long as it helped. Her breathing was steady; his was as erratic as leaves in a windstorm.

‘If you’d like a break I can sit with her while you go for coffee.’ A nurse laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

‘No, I have to be here. I have to be with them.’ He wasn’t going anywhere.

* * *

Ethan wasn’t going anywhere. He’d even walked alongside the trolley, his hand wrapped around hers, but for the first time his warmth hadn’t been able dispel Alina’s icy chills. Everything had been a blur since he’d carried her from the en suite, his soft words unintelligible through the fog in her mind.

Her barricades had crashed back up with the first stab of pain, sucking her into the dark void of bereavement and despair. Resisting the impulse to cling to him, she’d lain passive in his arms as he’d carried her to the bed and the car, desperately trying to close down her nightmare.

During the ultrasound she kept her eyes closed, blanked out the technician’s voice and Ethan’s replies. Didn’t comprehend what he said to her, only realised by the squeeze of her fingers and his kiss on her forehead that the baby was okay. For now.

Then something deep inside her shifted, shimmied through her, releasing a long-denied emotion. She gasped at the overwhelming surge of love for the tiny child fighting for survival inside her.

‘Alina, does it hurt?’

The anguish in his voice focused her thoughts. She looked up, saw the furrows in his brow, the clench of his jaw, and stared into anguished eyes. Cobalt blue eyes in a captivating face that, without her realising, had become as dear to her as Colin’s. She loved him—loved him
and
the baby.

No!
To love was to risk everything. Mind-numbing. Terrifying. She’d fought her way back once. If she lost again she’d
never
recover.

Scrunching her eyes shut, she forced her mind to think of the remote places she’d escaped to before. Anything but him, his eyes, his touch, the way he’d loved her last night. She forced herself back to the emotionless detachment that had kept her heart safe for seven years.

* * *

Two days later Ethan took her back to the holiday house.

The next morning they returned to Sydney.

* * *

She’d done it again. Slipped away while he still slept. In the four weeks since her stay in hospital Alina had drifted into an abstract world Ethan wasn’t privy to. She lay apathetic in his arms at night, rarely initiated conversation and almost never smiled. He’d built an empire with persuasion and action—now nothing he said or did helped.

He’d ensured she had time with Jean and with Dr Conlan, hoping she’d open up to one of them, or both. Giving her time and space, he hadn’t pressed her, had kept their daily life as normal as possible while letting her know he’d change his schedule any time she needed him. He’d encouraged her to use her computer, knew she didn’t, tried to be reassuring without crowding her.

At night he cradled her and caressed her until she fell asleep in his arms. Every day he let her know how precious she was to him in words and actions. He was determined that she’d understand how much he cared for and wanted her, even though he made no attempt to make love to her. For her sake and their baby’s.

More than anything he ached for what might have become a special part of his day: waking with Alina nestled against him, her hand over his heart, her breath soft on his chest. He longed to start each morning by kissing her awake, his heart soaring as she reacted sleepily, returning his ardour as her senses awoke.

This morning he found her in the kitchen, making herbal tea. His pulse raced even as his heart twisted at the sight of her slumped posture. He lifted her chin, dipped his head, watching for a flicker in her sorrowful eyes. The same flicker that had raised his hopes time after time, only to dash them as it quickly died.

He stepped away, ran agitated fingers through his hair. He’d been patient, willing to try anything to reach her, knowing she wasn’t to blame. Today he’d run out of ideas.