Bound to Break: Men of Honor, Book 6 (14 page)

“Next time, I won’t miss on purpose.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Sawyer drove back to base, Jace on his Harley behind Sawyer’s truck. They were early for the meeting, fucked around for a few minutes with their other team members, and Sawyer was grateful none of them mentioned the Josh situation.

Rex looked fucking wrecked when he’d walked into the meeting room that morning. Sawyer sat on his hands, forced to pretend it was all business as usual, had to watch the man he’d fallen in love with go over a SITREP with the team and then delve into their upcoming mission plans.

To Rex’s credit, he looked like hell but he didn’t miss a beat. By this time, the entire team knew about Josh, so they all sat quietly and respectfully, with none of the usual banter that went along with mission planning.

And then, when the meeting ended, it was time for training. Sawyer was surprised that Rex was leading the exercises, but he took it as a good sign. Maybe things with Lucky were looking up.

And Rex was doing his usual yelling, the way he always did before a mission. Except this time, he stepped it up a notch, and Sawyer got it. They’d spent time apart and Rex was freaked and he’d push Sawyer and the rest of the team to hell and back, just to make sure they never actually got that far.

But pushing and riding were two different things, and Sawyer was precariously close to breaking. Jace knew it, tried to deflect some of Rex’s yelling while still keeping Sawyer on track. And Rex seemed to have no problem yelling at Jace either, and more than usual.

Sawyer held out for four hours. And then he couldn’t stand it anymore. Maybe if Rex had called or texted or did anything since fucking and running…

“You can’t let it affect you.”

Jace was right. But Sawyer had gone from getting an amazing write-up from the admiral to this, being yelled at in front of the two new guys and anyone in their general vicinity because he hadn’t been able to shave time from the O-course runs.

“What’ve you been doing since I’ve been gone? Sitting on your ass?” It was a blanket statement to all of them, but he got right in Sawyer’s face when he yelled it. It took everything Sawyer had not to give him a satisfying head-butt and Rex knew it, told him, “What’re you going to do? Take me down? Go ahead and try it.”

Instead, Sawyer did the course again, shaved the time and then did it twice more just to prove he could. When he finished, Rex was gone and Jace was telling him that he was staying with him and Clint until he calmed the fuck down.

Sawyer didn’t argue, because being alone right now wouldn’t have helped anything. And he let Jace do all the bitching on the car ride back to Jace’s. Jace loaded his bike into the back of Sawyer’s truck to make things easier.

“Because there’s no way I can keep my goddamned balance after that shit,” Jace grumbled. “I know he’s always like that to you, but how the hell did I get on Rex’s good side?”

“Clint.”

“Clint talked to him?”

“He called one night.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?”

“My misery likes your company.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.”

Sawyer parked, still in an angry daze. He found himself sitting at Jace’s table, staring at nothing in particular, pushing away Jace’s offers of food.

He wanted to talk about it, but really, what the hell was he supposed to say?

“Hey bud.” Clint’s voice. He sat down next to Sawyer, a look of sympathy on his face.

“Guess the whole goddamned world knows.”

“Yeah, pretty much. POWs are a big deal.”

“Shit. I know. Hell, I’m glad he’s alive, glad they found him. It’s just…it changes everything.”

“Doesn’t have to,” Clint said.

“It already has.” Just then, Sawyer’s phone rang. Rex. He pressed the speaker button and Rex said, “Come to my house, now.”

“You can go fuck yourself,
sir.
I’ll see you on base.”

Clint raised his brows, and he and Jace left the room so Sawyer could talk in privacy.

“You’ll come here and see me now,” Rex said again, calmly.

“Don’t do this, Rex. I won’t.”

“I will spank the shit out of you,” Rex warned him, his voice low.

“Yeah, you try that and you’ll find yourself through the goddamned wall.”

Sawyer could handle a lot of things, but spanking wasn’t one of them. He’d learned that early on with Rex, when even the threat of it made him angry instead of turned on.

“I wasn’t going to do it for pleasure, Sawyer. You don’t think I know you well enough?”

Rex did, and that’s what made this harder. “Try your Dom punishment shit on someone else.”

“I don’t want to try it on anyone but you.”

“I’m not willing. Isn’t that what you always said—that it had to be safe, sane and consensual?”

“Keep pushing, boy.”

Boy
always did it to Sawyer, made the blood rush to his cock faster than anything. He didn’t know why that did it for him, but Rex knew that it did and used it to exploit his weakness.

“Want to let it out?” Rex asked.

“What?”

“You going for sainthood?”

“Fuck you, Rex. Handling this the best way I can.”

“You’re too fucking understanding. And you’re pulling away. Distancing yourself from me. You started the night before I left for South Africa.”

“Because I can see the writing on the wall. Because I don’t want to deal. Because…”

“It’s the thing that’s always bothered you,” Rex said softly.

“Don’t patronize me.”

“You want out?”

Sawyer stared at the table in front of him. He’d been biting back anger and tears for the past couple of weeks and he didn’t think he could anymore.

“Do you want out? Things get a little tough and you want out?”

“Is that what you want me to want?”

“I wanted you to stop acting like a goddamned saint. I know things are bothering you.”

“And pushing me was the way to force me to say it?”

“Only thing that seemed to work.” Rex paused. “I need you to help me.”

“I’m letting you use me as a punching bag. What more do you want?”

“Come to my house. Pull in the garage and wait for me.”

He was about to protest when Rex said, “You’re going to get what you need. But only if you shut your mouth and get here now.”

Rex hung up and Sawyer stared at the phone stupidly.

“Go to him,” Clint said.

“Why?”

“Dom voice,” Jace said with a smile, and Clint put a hand on the back of Jace’s neck. “It’s a good sign.”

Rex hadn’t used it in a while. Not since they were together a lot of the time.

They’d been together, but not
together
. And before he could ruminate on how stupid that sounded, he said goodnight to Jace and Clint and he was in his car, driving to see Rex. His heart was beating fast, fingers drumming the wheel, not knowing what lay beyond the garage doors.

But he pulled into the opened side and he waited. The door came down behind the car and he cracked his door and started to get out.

“Can’t follow simple directions?”

Rex’s voice. Sawyer stilled, not wanting to get yelled at again. But Rex’s voice was different, almost playful, and Sawyer wanted to hate him.

In reality, he probably did. He pulled back into the car and shut the door and stared straight ahead.

After what seemed like hours, Rex opened his door and said, “Come with me.”

“Rex…I don’t need you to pretend.”

Rex’s expression softened for a second. “I’ve never had to pretend with you. I don’t intend to start now.”

Sawyer followed him, out of the car, into the house and into the bedroom.

“Strip.” Rex told him.

“Rex—”

“Didn’t ask for talking. Clothes off. Or leave.”

Sawyer looked at the floor and wondered why the hell he was putting up with this shit. Until Rex put a hand on the back of his neck and said, “Please.”

He drew in a breath and he stripped. Looked at Rex and the heat in the man’s eyes, and things became clearer. He’d known why Rex was ultra-freaked, but knowing and dealing with it were two different things.

This was Rex’s apology. And, like the man said, all Sawyer needed to do was accept it.

“Still thinking,” Rex grunted. “Get on the bed. On your belly.”

Sawyer complied, feeling strangely vulnerable and completely, undeniably turned on at the same time. Rex took his time winding the soft ropes around Sawyer’s wrists, tight enough to hold him in place but still comfortable enough that his circulation wouldn’t be compromised.

“I’m keeping you here like this for a while. Until you stop thinking. Until you calm the fuck down. And I’m going to help you, babe. Trust me,” Rex told him.

Sawyer nodded, then turned his cheek to the pillow and watched Rex surveying him, spread-eagled, unable, and at this point very willing to remain unable, to move.

“You could escape if you really wanted to. I know that. But you won’t, because you like the way you feel. Don’t you?”

“Yes.” God, he did. His body finally relaxed and his mind actually followed. It happened during sex, but this was a whole other thing. And Rex’s voice was making him calmer and hornier, all at once.

He’d refused spankings. He liked the commands in theory and on the phone, but when they were together, he just wanted Rex. But Rex wanted to give him something more—needed to—and Sawyer obviously needed it just as much.

Rex ran a hand along Sawyer’s back, and he shuddered under the contact. “Did you like what we Skyped about last month?”

“Yes.”

“This is exactly how I pictured you, tied in your bunk. Naked. Spread. And your bunkmates could come back in at any second and find you.”

“Rex…”

Rex’s hands separated his ass, and Sawyer felt him blow warm breath. His hole twitched, and he buried his head into the pillow as embarrassment fought the fantasy.

“You’re blushing. But you want it, don’t you, baby?”

Sawyer’s “Yes” came out muffled. Rex grabbed him by the hair and lifted his head up.

“I want to hear it louder.”

“Yes.”

“More detailed.”

“Fuck.”

“That’s for me to decide. Answer my question.”

“Yes, Rex, I want it, want you eating my ass.”

“Then you better beg for it. Because we don’t have much time before we’re caught.”

Just like that, Rex brought him into the fantasy. Completely. He was in the bunk, in the dark, and instead of jacking off quietly, Rex had buried his face in his ass.

He bit the pillow to keep back the groans, the way he’d have to if they were really in the bunk. Rex didn’t let up on him, and Sawyer was tied tightly enough that it was hard for him to buck against the bed to give himself relief.

“Please,” he whimpered.

“I think I hear them coming back. You’d better make it quick. Although, I’m going to need you to come twice before I even consider letting you up.”

Sawyer buried his face into the pillow as Rex spread his ass and buried his face, tonguing him with hard strokes, alternating with spearing his tongue to enter him. He jerked hard against the mattress, unable to stop himself from coming immediately, but Rex didn’t stop. Not when Sawyer yanked against the ropes, not when he begged, because even he didn’t know what he was begging for.

The second orgasm surprised him as much as the first.

“You want me to fuck you, boy?”

“Please…”

“The only way I’m going to let you up is if you tell me that’s what you want. Or maybe you’d rather me invite the others in here to watch.”

Holy good shit. Rex entered him as he spoke, and Sawyer could almost feel the strangers crowding in around them, watching.

“Yeah, they’d come in and watch you getting the fucking of your life. Wondering if I’ll let them take a turn next. Think I should?” he asked as he thrust several times in a row, fast and hard enough to make Sawyer’s prostate sing.

“Please,” was all Sawyer could manage, because he was there, but he wasn’t. He was off someplace, his body a maze of pleasure, and he couldn’t find his way to the root of it. But he didn’t care.

The next orgasm was a dry one, but it didn’t matter. He felt Rex coming inside him, then the man pulled out in order to finish spurting along Sawyer’s back.

And then Sawyer was completely, one hundred and fifty percent satiated. Flying but somehow not needing to move at all. He was boneless. And he couldn’t remember being happier.

Sawyer was vaguely aware of Rex untying him. He might’ve passed out or fallen asleep or any combination of the two, and Rex didn’t seem to mind. He massaged Sawyer’s shoulders and arms and legs, getting rid of the pins and needles. He made Sawyer drink some soda. He cleaned him up.

And Sawyer, who’d normally be jumping out of bed, just lay there, enjoying the hell out of all of it.