Bound Together (27 page)

“Okay.”
I stood up and pulled my keys from my pocket.

A few minutes later, she’d gotten her mom dressed and into her coat,
and le
f
t a note for the kids, who would be home from school any minute.
I drove them to the doctor’
s office and waited in the truck while they went inside.

Whatever happened with me and
Zoey
, I was glad she kn
ew my secret and I just hoped this would work for her mom.
With the ghost of John’s past haunting me, I
knew that was no way to live and I didn’t want
Zoey
living
with just a shadow of her mother
, when i
t didn’t have to be that way.
I didn’t want her to have regrets like I did over what I should have done.

Chapter
Thirty-one

Zoey

My mom was getting better every day. The shine in her eyes was back, and the last few days, she’d been up to get the kids breakfast and off to school. And when we got home from school, she was up and showered, making
snickerdoodle
cookies or hot chocolate for a snack.

I had my mom back, t
hough I could
n’t
help feeling like I had been rendered virtually useless.
I used to think my family was keeping me from being a normal teen,
but if what Matt said was true
—
it was
me
keeping m
yself
from what I wanted. And now that I didn’t have endless chores, meals to prepare or kids to take care of, I was forced to face
that reality
.
I hadn’t been
who I wanted to be. I pushed people away and lied to myself about what I really wanted.

I knew what I needed to do.
I picked up my phone and waited for the ringing to stop and the familiar voice I needed to hear come through on the other end. “Hey
—
can you come over?”

A few minutes later, I was pulling open the front door and inviting Morgan inside. She pressed her palm to my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

I didn’t even push her hand away. “I am feeling better than I have in a long time.
And this is long over
due.” I took her hand and pulled her up the stairs to my room.

We sat on my bed and I came clean to my best friend about all the th
ings
I’d kept hidden
.
Matt telling me his secret had given me
the
courage to tell mine. I told Morgan about my mom, and all the pressures of taking care of my siblings, and how I never mailed my college applications
in
because I was afraid of being away from
home
, and how I
’d
accidentally
fallen
for Matt along the way. She just waited, listening quietly and pulled me into a hug when I finished.
I let her hold me, making up
for all the hugs I’d wiggled my
way out of over the years
. Maybe I was getting better at this hugging thing too
.

“It’s not too late, you know
.
” Morgan pulled back and sat cross
-
legged on my bed.

I didn’t know if she meant it wasn’t too late for me to go after Matt and tell him how I really felt or that I still had time to get my college applications in, or maybe both. I didn’t think things could go back to the way they were between Matt and
me
—
he knew way too much about me and my family life. Though I had a sincere appreciation for him and always would, it would never again be fun and carefree between us and I didn’t know how to handle that.
I had spent so much time telling myself I didn’t want something serious and that high school relationships were stupid, I had truly started to believe it.
He had helped me save my mom
, an
d it was good to have
her back, so I had n
o regrets about our little arran
g
e
ment.

I walked Morgan out a little while later and when I came back inside, my mom called me from the kitchen. “You got a letter.” She motioned to the table, where the mail sat in a neat stack. I flipped through until I saw it. An envelope from the university I had never applied to. I walked, numb up to my room, holding the unopened letter in front of me. I rummaged through the waste basket under my desk, where I expected to find the co
llege application I’d tossed aside
a few weeks ago. It was no lon
ger there. I sat down on my bed and
tore open the envelope, and slid the crisp letter out.

*****

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was running. My arms and legs pumped hard, propelling me towards the school. I reached the practice field out of breath, not even noticing the chill in the air warning that winter was nearing. I hadn’t bothered to put on a jacket, but right now, with the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I didn’t need one. I spotted Matt on the field and watched the play the team was in the middle of.
He tackled one of his teammates, then when the play was over, reached a hand out and pulled the guy up to his feet. A few of the guys spotted me standing on the sidelines and stopped to look over at me, obviously wondering what I was doing here. I saw Justin slug Matt in the shoulder to get his attention. Matt turned towards me
. He
pulled his helmet off. Their coach blew his whistle and let them grab a water break
and
Matt jogged over toward me. He stopped in front me, looking better than he had in a while,
eye’s sparkling and clear
.

“Hey,” I said, looking down at my feet. 

“Hi.” He looked straight at me, making the nerves in my stomach dance around.

He was quiet. I pulled the letter from my back pocket and showed it to him.
“I got into State.”  A corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile. “
Which is weird, because I never sent in my application.
”

“I saw it in your trash and mailed it in for you.” He shrugged, then took it from my hands and looked at it more closely. “You
just
got your letter?”

I nodded, trying to decipher what he meant.

“I got mine last week
,
”
he said.
  My mouth opened, and I looked at him, confused. “I’ll take over the store eventually, but I talked to my parents and told them I want to study creative writing.”

In that moment I felt proud
that he’d taken control of his destiny, and partly, he’d taken control of mine too when I needed it.
I could see the guys lining back up out on the field and his coach pacing from side to side, waiting for his star player to get back out on the field. “Well, I just wanted to thank you –for everything.” I took a mental image of his chiseled features, his bright blue eyes and his hair, which he seemed to be growing out, and then turned to let him go.

“Hey
Zoey
,” he called. “I never got to use my last pass
.” I turned around and faced him once again.
It took a second to register what he meant.
“Only this time, we’re going to do things my way.”

“Oh yeah?”
I challenged.

“Yes.” He took a step towards me and closed the gap between u
s. He leaned down and kissed me, b
rushing his lips softly against mine at first, then bringing his hands to my jaw and tilting
it
to meet his mouth
and the kiss deepened
. I felt his tongue push past mine with
an urgency
only our time apart could have brought. I was only vaguely aware of the cheers of the football team as they watched us.

When we broke apart, Matt
grinned
his cocky smile at me. “Be ready at seven for dinner on Saturday night.”

I nodded, not trusting that my voice wouldn’t waver.

“Oh, and
Zoey
.”
He reached back and took
the
elastic band from my hair, freeing it to fall around my shoulders. “Wear your hair down.”

He jogged back to the field to the cheers of his team and I didn’t even try to suppress my smile as I
turned to walk
home.

*****