Branded (4 page)

I returned to my apartment and sat back at the table.

Knowing I was only trying to pass the time until dinner, I pulled my laptop out and pulled my email up. There wasn’t much in there as I didn’t keep in touch with the very few friends I had in high school. I didn’t belong to any social networking sites, for the same reason. Most of the messages in my inbox were junk but one caught my attention. The monthly newsletter from Stanford that I still continued to get, despite the fact that I had never actually made it to the university.

Having nothing else to do, I clicked on the message. I skimmed it quickly, my eyes freezing on a short announcement half way through it. The notice that one Jason Walker would begin teaching psychology in the summer. I knew that name all too well.

I had run away from home when I was sixteen and found myself in central California. I lied about my age to get an apartment, found a job, and learned to grow up very fast. Somehow I managed to stay in school too. Soon after I turned eighteen, my senior year of high school, I met Jason.

He was handsome and charming. He was older than I was, 24 and already almost finished with his masters. But neither of us seemed to care about the age difference. He looked younger than he really was; I looked slightly older so people never really asked questions.

Jason was attentive and did not seem to mind my strange idioms. He was a great listener and I told him
everything
about myself. He told me he loved me often and I did the same. I had even allowed myself to think of the possibility we might end up being married at the end of the year.

After six months of the happiest days of my life the world exploded.

“Hey,” I said with a smile as I placed a quick kiss on
Jason’s cheek. He only gave me a stiff smile and set his
backpack on the grass. I tried not to worry about the crease
in his forehead that only made an appearance when he was
worked up or the way he kept his distance from me.

The California air was warm, perfect for this time of
year. I had survived graduation three weeks earlier. I was
proud of myself for making it through all four years.

Working a full time job to support myself wasn’t easy, add to
that the pressure of finals and keeping up a perfect 4.0, it
had been hard. But I had done it. Jason had been in the
stands cheering me on as I received my diploma.

“Do you want to go to the club tonight?” I asked,
trying to lighten the mood that was already darkening,
despite the fact that he hadn’t said anything yet.

Jason looked at the ground, his lips pursed together in
a tight line. His jaw was set hard as he seemed to be
considering his words.

“I can’t do this anymore Jessica,” he finally said. He
couldn’t even meet my eyes. “I can’t handle it anymore. It’s
just not normal. They aren’t real.”

“Jason,” I whispered, my brow furrowing with the
hurt that was only going to get ten times worse over the next
few minutes.

“This is what I’m going to be doing, Jess,” he said as
he finally turned hard eyes on me. “I’m a psychology major
for crying out loud, I should be able to spot when someone
can’t handle reality when I see it. I can’t do this anymore.

Good-bye, Jessica.”

And with that he picked up his backpack and walked
out of my life forever.

It was as harsh and dry as that.

I would never attend Stanford despite my acceptance.

Without even really realizing what I was doing, I had packed my few things and driven aimlessly north and ended up in Washington, almost to Canada. I spotted the lake to the west of the freeway and thought it was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. It looked so peaceful, a feeling I was desperate for. After driving to the west side of it I saw the sign in front of the house advertising the need for a house sitter. I secured the job the next day and had been there ever since.

With a deep sigh I deleted the message. I had gotten over Jason long ago. It had been difficult but I realized that someone who was going to throw me away like that wasn’t worth pining away after.

I pulled open the search engine and typed Jasper Wood’s name again. The obituary popped up in less than a second. There wasn’t much there. He was forty-eight, had worked at a mill for years and did not seem to be leaving any family behind. I retrieved my leather bound notebook and transcribed his name as well as Crystal Daniel’s onto the page. I did not have a reason for doing so but I had done it since I realized the names I stood trial for were real people.

I suppose it seemed barbaric to simply forget them, no matter how the deeds of their lives haunted me.

The rest of the day passed by in one slow swirl of anticipation and nerves. There wasn’t much to do around the house and so there was little to fill the time with till I went upstairs to see if there was anything I could do to assist Alex.

I stopped in my tracks for just a moment when I saw him in the kitchen. He was barefoot, wearing jeans and a red polo shirt. His entire front was covered with a faded white and pink checkered apron. Despite the ridiculous covering, he looked absolutely stunning. I often heard women talk about the attractiveness of a man who cooks but I had never been witness to that till just then.

“Oh, hey!” he said cheerily as he looked up from his work.

“Uh, hi,” I said stupidly as I just stood at the top of the stairs.

“Everything is almost done,” he said as he turned back to the steaming pots. “Just give me a few minutes.”

“Could you use any help?” I asked as my senses started to come back to me.

“You could set the table if you’d like,” he said as he wiped his hands on the feminine apron.

I just nodded my head before walking to the cabinet where I knew the dinnerware was and grabbed two plates and two bowls. I grabbed silverware and glasses as well and got the large oak dining table ready.

“That smells
really
good,” I said as I laid napkins down.

“I hope you’ll like it,” he said with a grin as he poured something into a serving dish.

I stood to the side of the table and twisted my hands.

After my year and a half of almost complete solitude, I could tell I had lost a lot of social skills. I wasn’t sure of what to say or how to act. Being around Sal was one thing but being around Alex was completely another.

“You want to grab this?” he said as he took the apron off and held out a large silver bowl. I lurched forward just a little too quick to take it from his grasp and that little smile tugged at the corner of his mouth again. As I set the bowl of rice on the table I hoped I wasn’t blushing horribly but had the sinking feeling I was.

Alex followed me and set two dishes down. One contained strange, triangle shaped noodles and the other a steaming, spicy smelling bowl of vegetables and beef.

“It’s not got a lot to it but trust me, it’s going to taste great,” Alex said as he pulled out a chair. It took me a second to realize he was holding it out for me.

“Thanks,” I said as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and sat.

Alex took his seat and reached for my plate. “Do you care?”

“No, go ahead,” I said shaking my head, feeling silly that he was dishing up my food.

He scooped a large pile of the noodles and the rice onto the plate and topped the noodles with the vegetable and beef mixture.

“Oh, hang on,” he said as he set the plate in front of me and stood up. “Forgot something.”

He went to the fridge and came back a moment later carrying a bottle of soy sauce.

“Oh, thanks,” I said stupidly, nearly dying from how awkward I felt. I hadn’t had dinner with a man in a
very
long time, much less a man who looked like Alex did. That was never.

“I’m glad you agreed to eat with me,” he said as he piled food onto his own plate. “I hate eating by myself. I find it depressing.”

I silently agreed with him despite the fact that I did it every day. I hesitantly scooped some of the food onto my fork and shoved it into my mouth.

“Wow!” I said as I chewed. “This is amazing!” He chuckled as he took his own bite. “Glad you like it.”

“Where did you learn to cook like this?”

He finished swallowing. “I studied in England for a few years and one of my roommates was from Thailand.

His mother owned a restaurant and he had worked in it pretty much all his life. So, he taught me.”

“England?” I questioned after swallowing another amazing bite. “You’ve done a lot of traveling it sounds like.”

He wiped the corner of his mouth with his napkin. “I haven’t been back in the states for more than a month since I was eighteen. I’m twenty-three now.”

“Where were you studying in England?” I asked, realizing there was a lot more to his man than I had first realized.

“Oxford,” he said softly before taking a long drink of water.

“Oxford?” I repeated and couldn’t help but feel totally insignificant. I still had yet to attend
any
form of college.

“Ya,” he said, looking slightly embarrassed. “I somehow managed to get an international business degree.

Pretty boring sounding, right?” he said with a chuckle. “It’s kind of a miracle that I actually did get the degree. I kind of like to wander.”

“Sounds like it,” I said.

There was a moment of silence as we both ate but it was comfortable and easy. That was a quality I liked in people. There didn’t need to be constant chatter and mindless talk. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit in silence.

We each finished our food and sat back in our chairs, feeling stuffed to the limit.

“So what about you?” he asked. “Are you from Bellingham or something?”

“No,” I said feeling instantly uncomfortable. Talking about my past wasn’t exactly easy for me. “I grew up in this really small town called Ucon, in Idaho.”

“Wow, not what I would have guessed. So what happened?”

I was taken aback by how quickly he seemed to have guessed there
was
something that had in fact happened.

“Let’s just say it was time to leave home or both me and my parents were going to regret things that were about to happen.”

I hadn’t meant for the words to come out that way and suddenly wished I had given a more tactful explanation.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he said quietly.

“Thanks,” I whispered as I looked at my hands in my lap. There was a moment of silence again but this time it wasn’t quite so comfortable.

A thought occurred to me and I looked up to his face.

“So now that you’re here and have this house left to you, are you planning to stay or go back to Africa?”

“I think I’m going to stay around here for a while. We were about done in Kenya anyway and by the time I could get back it’d be over. I had been trying to decide what to do when it was over. So, ya, I think I’ll stay around for a while.

I like Washington.”

I felt weird asking the next question but it was important. “I can find somewhere else to live now if you’d like. This is probably weird for you moving back and finding someone living in your house.”

“No!” he sounded almost alarmed. “Not at all.

Please, stay as long as you want. Like I said, there was a pretty good chunk of money left in a fund to continue paying your wages for however long you want to stay. And honestly I’m glad you’re here. I don’t do well being all by myself. I like people.” That small grin was begging to break free again.

“If you’re sure,” I said cautiously.

“Yes,” he said almost too quickly and this time the grin was trying to spread on my face.

As if to save us from any further awkwardness, the phone rang. I almost sighed in relief. Even though I was enjoying Alex’s company and attention I still wasn’t sure how to handle it. Alex rose to his feet just before I could and answered it.

“It’s for you,” he said as he extended the cordless phone.

I grabbed it from him and held it to my ear. “Hello?”

“Jessica! Where are you? I’ve been waiting for forever!”

Guilt instantly washed over me as I heard Sal’s frantic tone.

“I’m so sorry Sal. I got distracted. I’ll be right over.” Sal said a clipped “bye” before she hung up.

“I have to go,” I said as I turned to Alex and hung up the phone. “I can’t believe I forgot it’s Wednesday. I go over to the neighbors every week and watch her show with her.”

“Who?” he asked as he leaned against the counter.

“Sally Thomas,” I said as I started for the stairs to get my things. “Do you know her?”

“Only a little,” he said. “She moved into the house a little while before I graduated but we weren’t always here. I know my grandma was friends with her.” I hurried down the stairs, trying hard to keep the numbers that flowed through my mind from slipping over my lips. Ten…eleven…twelve… Alex followed me.

“I feel horrible I forgot about this. We do it every week. How could I forget?” I said as I opened the door to my apartment and looked around for my jacket.

“Do you mind if I came with you?” he asked as he leaned against the doorframe.

I froze in my tracks, half bent, looking through a few things on the floor. Sal might not notice my strange behavior toward her show but Alex just might. And I wasn’t sure how exactly Sal would react to him.

“Um…” I debated internally. I found my jacket and straightened as I pulled it on. “I’m not sure how Sal will handle it if you come. Did you know her much at all?”

“I know she’s different,” Alex said nonchalantly. “She always seemed to like me whenever I talked to her before though.”

I nodded my head. “I guess it might be ok. She’s been really quiet lately and kind of out of it so she might not really even realize you’re there.”

“That’s alright with me,” he said as he ducked out and I heard him rummage around in his room for a second before he appeared back in the door with a hooded jacket on. “If you don’t mind me tagging along.”

“That’s fine with me,” I said, trying not to smile.

“Let’s go.”

We walked out the door and made our way to Sal’s in silence. I gave a soft knock on the door twice before letting myself in.

Sal was already cuddled up on one of the couches, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, remote in hand.

“Sorry, Sal,” I said as I took a quick look around to make sure everything looked in order. Everything seemed to be in its proper placement of chaos. “I had a friend show up and got a bit distracted.”

At this Sal’s head popped up from staring at the blank TV screen. Her gaze went immediately to Alex and to my great surprise, a smile spread on her face. “Hello Alex.” Alex didn’t hide his astonishment that not only did she recognize him but she remembered his name. “Hi Sal,” he replied with a broad smile, making a quick recovery.

She didn’t say anything more as she turned her attention back to the TV and pulled up her TIVO menu. I gave Alex a sideways glance before we walked into the living room and sat on the empty couch. After just a second the show started.

Sal did not watch really any television but she had an unfortunate obsession with “Touched by an Angel” and I
had
to watch it with her. Of all the shows she could choose to be obsessed with it had to be
that
show.

As the episode started, I realized it was one that we’d already seen from an early season. I guessed by now we had probably watched all the seasons and every episode to ever air. I tried very hard to focus my attention on the show.

Normally I was able to ignore the show fairly completely, but with Alex there to observe, I thought it best to show some interest. It was not that I did not like the show. I thought the messages in it were good and of worthy origins but why did they have to call them angels? If they were called anything else I probably would have actually enjoyed watching the show. Obviously the creators knew nothing of the true nature of the beings they were trying to portray.

I couldn’t help it as I diverted my attention to anything other than the television screen without taking my eyes from it. I noticed that somehow Alex’s arm had ended up draped across the back of the couch. Trying to be discrete, I glanced at his face, searching for any signs of a sly grin but found his face oddly attentive of the show before him. He wasn’t trying to be sneaky or make a move. I somehow doubted he even realized his arm was there, resting just an inch or so above my shoulders.

I tried to turn my attention back to the television but caught a glimpse of Sal out of the corner of my eye. To my great shock and embarrassment she was staring intently in my direction, a slight smile spread across her face. It almost startled me at first, Sal almost never smiled. And she never lost attention in her show.

A confused expression spread on my face as I shrugged my shoulders just slightly as if to ask her “what?” Her grin only got a little bigger before she turned her attention back to the television.

I didn’t see it; if it was at all possible I just felt it, the small smile that crept onto Alex’s lips.

The rest of the show passed by unbearably slow and I nearly sighed in relief when the credits started rolling.

Feeling ready to snap at any moment from the tension I felt inside, I sprang to my feet and grabbed my jacket. Sal turned the television off and stood to face us, that strange grin still spread on her face.

I tried to ignore it, however impossible it was to do so.

“Do you need anything Sal?” I asked, as I always did before I left her house.

“I’m okay,” she said, her grin still plastered on her face. “Good-night Jessica. Good-night Alex.” Without another word she walked to the stairs and headed down to her bedroom.

This time I did sigh in relief as we turned for the door and walked out.

“What a nice evening,” Alex said as we walked up the stairs that ascended the sloped lawn to the road.

It was freezing. Small puffs of air curled out from our lips and noses and rose into the air in delicate patterns.

“Sal seems like a really wonderful person,” he continued as we took our first steps down the road.

“She is,” I said as I wrapped my arms around my torso. “She’s different but I suppose that’s part of why I care about her so much. She’s so innocent.

Alex nodded his head. “It’s really good of you to take care of her like that. My grandma tried to help her out but we were gone so much it made it difficult.” By this time we reached the stairs that led down to the house and I kept my silent count to ninety-one to myself. As we walked back into the house the smell of our recent meal filled my nose.

“Oh shoot,” I said as I closed the door behind us. “I forgot about all this. I’ll help you clean it up.” He didn’t argue with me and we quickly cleared the table and started to load the dishwasher.

“I really enjoyed tonight,” I said as I put the plates onto the rack, speaking before I thought about what I was going to say. I immediately felt blood rush into my face.