Brave (Healer) (21 page)

             
‘From what we’ve seen and heard, there could be about fifteen but you knocked out three yesterday so that leaves us twelve but there’s nothing stopping them from telling all their vampire friends.’

             
I gulp and there is a scared silence until Oliver’s gravelly voice breaks the quietness. Typically he is lightening the mood and easing my fear, ‘But why would they tell other vampires? They’ll want Cassie’s blood all to themselves so they won’t want unnecessary competition. We just need to kill Maurice then any vampire who tries to hurt her.’

             
He makes it sound simple but I saw how exhausting killing those vampires was for Rose. The way her eyes were rolling back to her head and her body was pulsating was terrifying. I couldn’t ask her to do that any time someone tries to hurt me. She could die like her parents did. Magic can be dangerous and I don’t want Rose to risk her life again.

             
‘You’re right, Oliver,’ Arrow says with a small smile. ‘But until then, Cassie should stay here with us where we can be sure to protect her. It was lucky Rose survived yesterday because killing a vampire is a strenuous spell to cast and even more so with three vampires.’

             
My suspicions have been confirmed and I am certain that I won’t let Rose do any more vampire murdering spells for the rest of her life.

             
Oliver is agitated. I guess he doesn’t like having his ability to protect me questioned. After all he has done a pretty good job so far. In fact he has saved me in more ways than one. ‘But that could take months! Years! Not all the vampires will be stupid enough to pounce at once and they’re immortal. They have plenty of time to wait it out until nobody is watching her and then they’ll take her.’

             
‘We won’t let that happen, Oliver. I understand your concern but if it takes years than that’s what we’ll have to do. There is plenty of room in this building for you all to live a comfortable life.’

             
‘But that’s not fair! Cassie deserves to have a real life! She doesn’t want to be cooped up in a strange city without her family.’

             
Rose shoots Oliver an angry look and Arrow just looks pitying, ‘I know it’s not ideal but it’s better than death, isn’t it’

             
They are juggling my fragile life around in their hands and at some point somebody is going to drop the ball. Oliver is right. I don’t want to spend years here. Yes, I want to travel and see the world but not in this way. I want to see my family again. I want to be in a functional relationship with Oliver but none of that can happen if I am kept guarded away from the world. I’m starting to think I will never get the chance to live my own life without other people pulling the strings.

             
‘I understand how you feel, Oliver,’ Arrow says. ‘Maybe we should all get some sleep and revise this in the morning.’

             
Everyone agrees that that’s a good idea except me. I stay quiet but no one seems to notice that I haven’t said anything until I am lying in bed beside Oliver. ‘You’re awful quiet,’ he says lying on his side so he is facing me.

             
‘It’s just everyone was talking about me in there like I was invisible. For my whole life people have made decisions for me and I know you are all trying to protect me and do the right thing by me but I just can’t wait until the day I can do what I want,’ I say sadly.

             
Oliver sighs and I expect him to say something profound that will make me feel better but he just kisses my nose and closes his eyes. He falls asleep with his arms locked firmly around me but I can’t sleep at all. I slowly remove his arm and go to the bathroom but splashing cool water on my face can’t help. I just need to get out of this world for a while. I am being suffocated by my own life and I need fresh air so, in my cotton pyjamas and wooly housecoat, I sneak out of Arrow’s apartment and down the staircase.

             
I open the door of the building and feel the cool air hit me and it feels like heaven. I am rarely ever alone anymore and I forgot how it feels to have my own thoughts. Then the fresh air is tainted by the smell of smoke. I turn around and I feel the wind knocked out of me. Where there’s smoke, there’s a fire and this fire happens to have burned me pretty bad in the past.

             
‘Gabe.’

             
‘Hey Bullet.’

SEVENTEEN

             
When I don’t say anything, he shrugs and blows smoke in my face before saying, ‘How’s it going?’

             
I can’t believe he’s acting nonchalantly about this when my head feels like it’s about to implode. He looks different. Not in a bad way, in a good way, but he looks different. He has cut his hair short. I am used to his hair being shaggy and unkempt but it’s almost an inch long so I can really see his face. He looks healthier like he’s drinking less and sleeping more. There are no purple circles under his eyes or oily patches on his skin. Yet he is still the Gabe I fell in love with. His lips are just as full, his nose and jaw just as sculpted and his eyes...

             
‘I... I...’ I can’t think of anything to say. It’s been seven months now but his face has never been far out of my conscience. If I had seen him a month ago I would have been crying with joy and smothering him in my love but after my month staying with Oliver I just feel numb. I feel speechless. I wish he didn’t look so good but he does. He looks healthy and happy. All the things I wished for him to be.

             
‘Long time, no see,’ he says dropping his cigarette and smashing it with his shoe.

             
His noncommittal attitude is plain infuriating and I just feel angry looking at him smile confidently after the Hell he put me through. He never called. He never wrote. He never made the effort. He just moved on and left me with a broken, bloody heart to take care of. He never cared and he still doesn’t care. He still doesn’t know what he has done to me. ‘Why are you down here so late?’

             
For months I felt sorry for him because I thought he had lost all his memories. I believed he lost everything he was and he was a lost soul floating through the world unable to make sense of their life but in reality he was fine. He was better than fine.

             
I finally find words, ‘You never called.’

             
This catches him off guard and the frown which I am so accustomed to seeing on his face returns. He sighs and lights up another cigarette. I don’t think he wants one, he just needs something to do with his mouth so he doesn’t say something stupid - something typically Gabe.

             
He holds the cigarette with his teeth and speaks out of the side of his mouth, ‘Was I supposed to?’

             
My lips quavers but I refuse to cry in front of him. After everything he has put me through I refuse to give him the satisfaction of making my cry yet again. I bite my bottom lip so harshly that if I could wound then I think it might bleed but at least it stops the tears coming.

             
I’m having a bad reaction to seeing him for the first time in months. I’m sweating, my eyes are stinging and my limbs are trembling. Not to mention the memories that are playing in my mind at lightning speed. It’s as if whenever you reunite with somebody important you see your relationship flash before your eyes. I feel every emotion I’ve ever felt for Gabe running through my body and I feel them intensely.

             
‘Have you lost your voice since I last saw you?’ he seems so relaxed as if time has never passed. Same old obnoxious Gabe.

             
‘I... I didn’t expect to see you,’ my voice is trembling and I have to stare at my knees to avoid blushing.

             
‘You didn’t know I was here?’ he raises his thick eyebrows mockingly.

             
‘Well I knew you were
here
, I just didn’t know you were going to be
here
.’

             
He nods and smacks his lips together while eyeing me up, ‘Why don’t we go a walk?’

             
‘I’m in my pyjamas,’ is the only reason for not going I can come up with.

             
‘It’s New York and it’s two in the morning. There will be stranger sights,’ he smiles devilishly.

             
‘What about the vampires? I’m pretty sure there are... uh... twelve vampires who want me dead.’

             
Most people would tiptoe around me delicately. Most people would be afraid to frighten me or upset me in my current circumstance but all Gabe can say is, ‘Hey, they don’t want you dead, they just want your blood. Anyway one of the witches sorted me out with one of these bad boys...’

             
He pulls a wooden stake out of his back pocket and grins at me. The sharp point is so close to my face that it makes me feel nauseous. I don’t think Gabe should be allowed to conceal any dangerous weapons but at least I don’t have to worry about him getting hurt. I may think he is arrogant, I may not love him in the same way anymore but I would fall apart if anything happened to him.

             
‘Look if it bothers you that much...’ he pulls his thick black duffel coat off his body and puts it over my shoulders. ‘Better? Let’s go.’

             
He starts to walk and I know that I should turn on me heels, go back into the building and climb back into bed with Oliver. I should press my head against his big, bare chest and hear his steady heartbeat and feel at ease but I feel compelled to follow him. There’s nothing wrong with it, is there?

             
For the first ten minutes, we don’t talk. Mostly I just struggle to keep up with his quick steps and I stare at the back of his head. I’m not used to his hair being clean-cut like this but it really suits him. It makes him look younger, fresher, and it’s the way I would have picked his hair to be.

             
Oliver would kill me if he knew I was wandering the streets. If he wakes up he will be so worried about me; he’ll go crazy! I pray that he doesn’t wake up and realise I’m gone.

             
I follow Gabe into a twenty-four hour coffee and bagel shop where he picks up a black coffee and doesn’t offer to buy me anything. I don’t expect him to. It’s Gabe. He’ll never change that much. It’s only once he has his coffee that he starts to talk, ‘I heard you’ve got a new squeeze.’

             
‘Who told you?’ I ask defensively.

             
‘Rose calls me every other day,’ he says and stares into the distance. In typical Gabe fashion he is wearing a plain black top, it’s long sleeved so I can’t see his illustrious tattoos, but it’s tight enough to see his lithe, muscular body. I’ve become so used to Oliver’s titanic body that I forgot how attractive Gabe’s smaller but equally strong frame could be.

             
‘I didn’t know that,’ I say simperingly. I knew Rose stayed in touch but I got the impression that while she was staying with Oliver. there had been no communication with this side of the ocean. ‘Anyway, yes, I’ve met a great guy.’

             
‘Except you didn’t really meet him, did you? Rose sort of handpicked him for you, didn’t she?’ he says cynically and I can feel my fingers curl into a fist as I hear is bruising words. Is he jealous?

             
‘I don’t want...’ I dig my nails into the palms of my hands. ‘I don’t want to be mad at you, Gabe, so stop being so...’

             
‘So what?’ he says and takes a loud slurp of his coffee. ‘So me?’

             
‘If you’re trying to make me hate you...’

             
‘I don’t need to do that,’ he says softly. He stops dead and takes a seat on a wall. He sits his coffee cup on the ground and looks at me, he really looks at me, and he reaches his hand out to me but in usual Gabe fashion he doesn’t touch me. His hand hovers beside my face before he shoves it back into his jean pocket.

             
There is an awkward silence as we both observe what just happened and wonder what to say next. Sometimes when there is too much to say, you can’t say anything at all. ‘Can’t you just be nice for once?’ I smirk. Even when he thought he was going to die he couldn’t give me anything more heartfelt than ‘take care of yourself.’ He is so incapable of expressing how he really feels and right now I wish I could put my arms around him and shake something real out of him. If I could shake him hard enough maybe the arrogance would fall away and he could say something honest for once in his life.

             
‘I...’ he starts and for a second I convince myself that he is capable of saying something nice to me.