Brawler (18 page)

I wait for him to yell at me for being stupid, but he doesn’t. Instead, he kisses my forehead, saying, “Most people do, Princess. He was supposed to protect you.”

“I know that now,” I explain. “The first two hospital visits were for patching up, really. It was the third and the fourth that were rough. At that point, he was blown out all the time, and I was the outlet for his anger. It was the fourth visit Venessa found out about; the scars you saw when I attacked you were from that fourth beating. When his fists weren’t enough, I guess he thought a knife was better.”

“Why didn’t you kill him then, Princess?”

“I promised myself that I would, that if he came at me again, I’d end it. I kicked him out, but he wouldn’t leave, and he caught me off guard and he bested me. I didn’t want Venessa to know; he said if I ever told her, he’d kill her. I believed him. Killing him was my right, Jonas, and I don’t regret it. I need you to know I would do it again because —”

“Princess,” he whispers. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“I know,” I whisper back. “So you need to know what happened to you wasn’t your fault, either. They should have protected you, too. We fought back when we could, but we fought back, Jonas. I want to fight for us. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. You’re a big package, and don’t get cocky; I’m just saying we both have shit to work on, and there’s no shame in any of it.”

“Prince —” he starts, but I stop him.

“I love you,” I whisper, looking up at him. “You’re my future, I know it in here.” I place his hand on my heart. “We have things to work through, but I love you Jonas, all of you, especially the damaged places. I want you to let me fight for you, too.”

He pulls me fully into his lap, fists my hair, and takes my mouth. Wrapping my legs around him, I pull back because I have more to say. “Look at
me
now.” He does. “You’re always protecting me, but I get to protect you, too. I want you to know I don’t just love you, Detective. I admire you, too.” That being said, I put my head on his chest, smiling because his heart is beating rapidly, and that’s because of me.

“Princess,” he struggles to say. “I loved you the first time you tazed me.” I can’t help it. I giggle. “Laugh it up; I almost pissed myself, you know.”

“Really?” I asked, laughing louder.

“Mostly, though, it killed me to watch you walk away with another guy.”

“Jonas, I don’t —”

“Shh,” he whispers. “I know that now. Then, though … I wanted you even then.”

“Thank you for waiting for me.”

“I’ve waited my whole life for you, Princess.”

Sitting there in his lap, sun light filling the room, I realize, for once, I am in the right place at the right time, and finally with the right person.

F
eeling light for the first time in a long time, we both kept talking until there were no more words. She told me everything, I did the same, and I’ll be damned, she still loves me. In life, my biggest struggle was always my temper. Through her, though, I’m beginning to think it’s just a matter of getting a hold of my emotions. When I’m happy, I’m so fucking happy, but when I’m pissed …

While she helped Ben through a problem he was stuck on over the phone, I took a shower, and for the first time in my life, I kept my eyes open when I washed my cock. Used my hands, a cloth, and didn’t get sick before, during, or after. She cleansed me, or maybe I finally let most of it go, but however it happened, I’m grateful for it. I’m not foolish enough to think my issues have up and left, but it is a start. Now that I can somewhat bear to look at it, I realized I want it buried deep inside of her where it belongs. I want us to take that next step where we give each other what we need without limits, without me freaking out that I’ll suck at it and with her knowing she’s safe.

Lost in thought about how to make making the next step a reality, I don’t hear her sneak up on me until she has her arms around me. Fuck, she smells good. Good and clean. Honest and beautiful.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks, with her head on my back.

“You,” I answer honestly.

“Yeah? What about me?” she asks, running her hands up and down my stomach.

Turning her to face me I wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight and tell her the god’s honest: “Thinking about how I go about making love to you.” If she’s surprised she doesn’t show it, but in true Macy form she gives it to me straight.

“Here I am,” she whispers. “Tell me.”

“I’d rather show you. I’m not too good with words, Princess.”

“When?” she asks, breathless and excited. “Now?”

“Not now,” I tell her. “But soon. What’s on the agenda?”

“About that,” she says, smiling. “A few months ago, I bought tickets to a show at the Filmore, total metal. Venessa was supposed to go, but being she’s still healing, she can’t. I was wondering how you felt about mosh pits and maybe a crowd surf or two?”

“Oh shit,” I say, excited. “It’s the Kill Switch Engage concert, isn’t it?”

“It is,” she giggles. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a fuck yes,” I tell her. “Been trying to get my partner to go, but you know how he is.”

“Doors open at seven, so how about we grab a bite, then head over, and maybe we can hit Lush after?”

“Princess,” I tell her, kissing her nose. “You read my mind.”

“Oh, and Jonas?”

“Yeah?”

“When we get home tonight?” she starts. “You’re going to show me how you want to make love to me.” Pulling away, she runs her hands over her perfect tits down to her perfect stomach, then levels me with, “In detail.” on her way out of the room.

Challenge accepted.

The rest of the afternoon she studies, fields calls, and prepares her program for the board. There is nothing fucking hotter than a smart female. When she’s focused, she is focused. I’ve had that focus on me. It’s intense, it’s a privilege, and it’s fucking mine because she loves me.

We grab a bite then walk over to the Filmore. She not only scored main floor tickets, she scored side stage main floor tickets. Her excitement is a living thing, my woman loves being out and being social like I do. The concert  hasn’t even started yet and she’s already made friends with the metal heads around us, even helping one guy who fell and bloodied his nose. The scene is electric; the people here can’t wait for shit to start. The vibe reminds me of how the crowd gets before Venessa takes the platform at Lush. 

Watching her work the crowd has me hard for her. She straightened her hair, put very little makeup on because she doesn’t need it, but put on the tightest fucking pants I have ever seen, along with a strappy top which I’m positive she went braless to wear. Did I mention she’s wearing combat boots? Fuck, that’s hot. Boots plus tits has my cock pulsing.  Macy has tits, as in full, heavy tits. They aren’t huge, but they are full as fuck. The fact she can go braless gets me even harder. Add to that the thought of having her in only those boots has me turning away to rub my cock. When I turn back, she’s talking to a stagehand; he leans in to ask her something, but she laughs shaking, her head no. I ask what he said that was so funny, and she said she was asked to join the band backstage. She thought it was hilarious; I thought of snapping the guys neck. Taking my hand she pulls me to her, puts her hands in my hair and pulls my head down to hers, and fucks my mouth hard. The crowd cheers, assholes are patting my back, but still she fucks
my
mouth.

Suddenly the lights go dim and all hell breaks loose. Macy starts jumping up and down. The crowd becomes a living, breathing hurricane getting both of us caught up in it. Macy is grabbed, pulled, and pretty much fondled, but doesn’t seem to notice or care. Fuck that, I notice and I care. Her back is still sore even though she swears it isn’t. I watch her flinch sometimes. When the lead singer finds her in the crowd and connects with her, my entire body tightens up. She’s thrashing, enjoying the music, not even getting the vibe from the dick on stage. He crooks his finger at her and confused, she turns in a circle to look at who has his attention but when she realizes it’s her, she grabs my hand moving away from the stage and his eyes.

The track changes to one I don’t know, but she does, and then the night goes from bad to worse. She’s pulled away from me into a pit and I can’t fucking get to her. Trying to remember most of these guys are kids I make an effort not to kill anyone until I see a giant trying to pick her up. Putting her hands up in an act of submission the giant smiles, charging her, greedy to get his hands on her. Pushing through the final cluster to grab her she looks over, sees me, turns back to the giant and smiles. Oh shit, shit, shit …

The giant lifts her up under her arms and tosses her on top of an equally greedy crowd, and that’s when I lose sight of her and lose my shit. Stalking the giant, I double-tap him, and down he goes. The crowd loves it, secretly even I love it, but I love her more and can’t find her. I’m a tall guy, but it’s fucking dark and small in here, and it’s impossible to locate her. Glancing toward the stage I notice the lead singers eyes following something, no, fuck that, someone. He’s watching my woman. When I lock onto her she’s handed over the rail into the arms of security and I lose her again.

That’s when it hits me, a full on panic attack. I can’t breathe, the crowd is too close, and my ears are ringing. Grabbing my chest, it feels like my heart is going to explode until I feel her latch on to me. Turning around, I secure her to me. I take her mouth, fuse it to mine, and proceed to claim her on the main floor of the Filmore in front of a screaming crowd of thousands. We’re pushed and stepped on, but we never stop. When we break apart we’re both struggling to breathe. Having her close to me now the panic lessens some, but not completely. I need to get out of here.

Looking into her eyes I ask her, “Had enough?” Then she smiles, letting me know it’s safe to go. As she takes my hand to lead me out, I glance back at the stage to see the lead singer still watching her. When his eyes meet mine I give him a nod, showing him who’s got the girl, then proceed to flip the fucker off and follow my woman out the door.

Clearing the doors we step outside and it’s cold, though neither of us notices or cares. She jumps up on me, wrapping her legs around me, attacking my mouth again. Moaning, pulling my hair, and sucking my tongue has my cock ready to explode. She breaks away first. I ease her down and she whispers, “Let’s go to Lush so you can get me home.”

“Thank fuck,” I growl grabbing her ass.

“Jonas,” she says, turning my face to hers. “Is it better now?”

“Is what better?”

“You had a panic attack, didn’t you?”

Embarrassed, I mutter, “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I should have known better.”

“Wasn’t your fault,” I tell her. “Sometimes it just happens. When you found me, it got better.”

“I made it better?”

“Yeah.”

“So I’m better than medicine?”

“Princess,” I say, pulling her to me. “You’re the only medicine I’ll ever need; I’m hooked on your kind of medicine.”

Opening her door, I help her into my truck, then once I’m seated, she leans over and undoes me.

“When we get home, I’m yours. Any way you want me,
I am yours.
” Then she sits back and smiles, satisfied with herself.

I make it to Lush in under three minutes.

T
here have been very few times in my life that I’ve felt content. Oddly enough, riding high on adrenaline and aching for Jonas, this is one of those times. Losing me in the crowd was hard for him, I could feel it. He handled it well, in my opinion. I was, too, until the lead singer kept staring at me. That I didn’t like, so I grabbed ahold of Jonas to anchor me, and it did. Crowd surfing is a riot, it’s unpredictable, and should you get dropped on your head, fairly stupid. The second I cleared the rail I ran around to the door to get back to him. Pushing my way through, I almost tripped over the big guy who lifted me up and sacrificed me to the crowd. Seeing him unconscious had me wanting to get him help even at the risk of being trampled. Instead of helping as I’m prone to do, I jumped over him to get back to where I belong.