Authors: Maya Banks
As if sensing her dour thoughts, Zane leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. “Just give him time, honey. That’s all you can do.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jasmine’s wait for Seth to return bordered on a sick vigil. She paced the living room and haunted the window overlooking the driveway. Zane had gone out to do some work, a fact she was grateful for, because she didn’t want to have the confrontation with Seth when Zane was present.
Supper was a subdued affair. Jasmine sat and picked at her food while Zane wolfed down his. Even Carmen didn’t have much to say. After they’d eaten, Zane dropped a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m going to go up and grab a shower and head to bed. I’ll see you…later,” he said.
Jasmine nodded and smiled, though it was a strain to do so. The longer she waited for Seth to come home, the more worried and anxious she became.
She stood by the window long after darkness fell, staring down the road. Finally around midnight, she saw the headlights of his truck bounce over the hill. She stepped away from the window and rubbed her hands nervously down the back of her jeans.
When she heard the slam of his truck door, she changed her mind about talking to him here, and she headed for the stairs. She raced up and hurried down to his bedroom. She let herself in and sat down on the edge of his bed to wait, her heart thudding in sick worry.
She didn’t have long to wait. He must have come straight to his room because the door opened just a few moments later. He didn’t see her immediately, but when he shut the door and turned his gaze toward her, it hardened, and he frowned.
“What do you want?” he demanded.
She flinched at the harshness of his tone, but she wouldn’t be cowed. This was too important.
“I need to talk to you, Seth. Please.”
His expression wavered. Then he studied her closer, and concern flashed in his eyes. “Are you all right? Is something wrong?”
She sighed. No matter how angry he might be with her, it was obvious he still cared about her on some level. The question was on which one? As a sister? Or a woman?
“I wanted to talk about the other night,” she said hesitantly.
He shut himself off from her, his eyes growing cold and hard. She shivered and nearly lost her courage in that moment.
“You want to talk about the other night, Jasmine?” His voice was quiet, too soft, dangerously so. “Oh, we can talk about it. Right after you tell me why you went straight from my bed into Zane’s.”
She blanched. Surely Zane hadn’t told him. Which only meant one thing. He must have seen them.
“I saw you,” he confirmed. “Saw Zane between your legs. You weren’t acting the innocent virgin then.”
She flushed and ducked her head.
“What game are you playing?” he asked. “I won’t let you come between me and my brother.”
She shook her head sadly. “What have I ever done to make you think so badly of me, Seth? I never want to come between you and Zane. I love you. I love you both.”
Seth’s eyes narrowed in confusion.
She stood and walked toward him. Seth backed away a step, but she didn’t stop.
“I love you, Seth. I’ve always loved you. But I love Zane, too. I love you both with all my heart.”
“What are you saying, Jasmine?” Seth asked in a voice rife with incredulity.
She sighed. “I know it sounds crazy. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. But the fact is, I love you both. I don’t want to be without either of you. It’s why I left and why I came back. Because I decided to fight for you instead of giving up before I ever tried.”
Seth ran a hand through his short black hair, and a whole host of emotions ran through his blue eyes. Some of which she didn’t want to see there. Anger. Pity. Especially pity.
“I don’t even know what to say,” he muttered.
“You’ve shared women before,” she pointed out. “I watched you with Mary Jo,” she said in a lower voice. “I wanted to be her so badly. I was jealous. Still am. And there were other women.”
Seth’s mouth popped open, and then his entire face softened. He put a hand on Jasmine’s shoulder and guided her toward the bed. He sat beside her and touched her on the cheek.
“Jasmine, honey, listen to me. That’s not the same.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t it?”
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Yes, Zane and I have had sex with the same woman. At the same time.” His voice sounded oddly strangled. “But it’s a kink. One we both enjoy. Some women enjoy threesomes. I’ve shared a woman with…with someone other than Zane as well. It’s not the same as what you suggest. I may share a woman during sex, but I will never share a woman I care about with another man. Even my brother.”
“Are you saying I have to make a choice between you and Zane?” she asked, her horror growing with each second. Her heart pounded so hard, she could feel each beat, each sickening pulse.
Seth shook his head. “No, honey, I wouldn’t make you make that choice. I’m making it for you. A relationship between us, you and me, is impossible. The other night…was a mistake. I should have never touched you.”
Her face felt frozen. The tears she wanted to shed were locked under ice. She stared at him, her hopes and dreams cracking under the weight of her despair.
“It could work,” she whispered. “Maybe I misunderstood the times you had sex with the same woman, but there is no reason it couldn’t work on a permanent basis. I don’t want a threesome. I could get that anywhere. I’m not looking for some sexual kink or thrill. I love you. I love you both, and I want a life with both of you. How is that so wrong?”
“Because you’re asking me to do something I can’t do,” Seth said hoarsely.
She stared at him, completely numb. “And maybe you just don’t love me enough,” she whispered. She rose from the bed, unable to keep looking at him, not when she wanted so much to be in his arms. She wanted him to erase the hurt and rejection of the other night, and instead she’d been handed another rejection.
“I love you, Seth. I’ll always love you. I can’t accept a life here with Zane if you aren’t a part of it.”
She turned and walked away from him. He never made a sound as she walked into the hallway and shut his door behind her.
Chapter Twenty
Zane was awake when his door eased open. He hadn’t been able to sleep despite telling Jaz he was beat. How could he have slept when she was down the hall with Seth?
And now she was standing in his doorway. Even in the darkness he could tell she was upset, unsure of herself.
“Come here, baby,” he murmured.
She hurried to his bed, and when he held his arms up to her, she climbed in and threw herself against his chest. He held her close as he felt her tremble against him.
His insides twisted and his feelings were a mass of confusion. He should be happy. Jaz was his, or at least partly his. She loved him, and he loved her. He hated that her happiness was not entirely in his hands, but at the same time he understood her need for both him and Seth. It was a damn helpless feeling and one he didn’t like at all.
What kind of a sick fuck did it make him to stand by while she went to his brother? Strangely, that didn’t bother him. What bothered him was the fact that Jaz was crying in his arms, and he was powerless to make her stop.
He rolled until she was nestled against his side. Then he cupped her cheek with his palm and lowered his lips to kiss her.
“Let me love you,” he whispered.
He didn’t know what else to do, how else to show her that things would work out. He couldn’t make that promise, anyway. All he could do was make her believe that no matter what happened with Seth, he wouldn’t leave her.
She reached for him, hot, needy, her mouth claiming his. This was Jaz, his Jaz. In some ways she’d always belonged to him just as she’d always belonged to Seth. Perhaps that was why he was okay with the idea of Seth holding a part of her heart. She’d been theirs ever since they’d brought her home six years ago. She’d filled a hole in their hearts left barren by their parents’ deaths. She brought sunshine and warmth to a ranch that had been cold for so many years. And he’d waited for her to grow up. Had even let her go, but somehow he’d always known she’d return.
He slid her jeans down her legs, touching her silken skin on the way, his hands caressing, loving. After he tossed the jeans aside, his hands traveled back up until his thumbs hooked into the thin strap of her panties. His other hand tugged her shirt higher as he pushed his palm up her spine, his fingers splayed across her back.
She kissed his neck, and he shivered as chills chased each other down his back. Her small tongue flicked out to lick at the skin just below his ear, and then she sucked his earring into her mouth.
He pushed impatiently at her panties then moved his hand from her back to the curve of her ass. She had a perfect behind. Firm, well-rounded, with all the right curves.
He scooted down in the bed until his mouth was even with her side. As he pulled her underwear the rest of the way down her legs, he kissed the rounded swell of her hip.
He pushed her over until she lay on her back. He looked up at her to see her staring at him, her eyes full of need and desire. Whatever had gone on with Seth, Zane knew that in this moment she wasn’t thinking of his brother. All he could see in her eyes was himself.
“I love you,” he said, knowing she needed his reassurance, and the truth was, he couldn’t get enough of telling her. Maybe it reassured him as well, reminded him that she was here in his arms.
“Make me yours,” she whispered, an emotional catch to her voice. It was husky, the sound turning his heart over and clenching his chest tight.
He slid his hand between her thighs and gently parted them. He leaned down and brushed his lips across the tiny curls covering her pussy.
He couldn’t get enough of her taste, her smell. He wanted to dive into her sweetness and never come up for air. Wanted to lose himself in her liquid heat.
With two fingers, he parted her folds and licked at her entrance then up to her clit. She jerked beneath him, and he could feel spasms work through her legs.
He eased one finger inside her and moaned as her pussy sucked and clenched around it. She was so tight just around one finger. He stifled a groan as he remembered how that tightness had felt around his cock. His groin ached with the need to thrust into her. Impatience cut through him, slick like a razor blade and every bit as sharp.
She was wet, but not enough yet, and he didn’t want to hurt her. Never.
He eased another finger inside and gently worked in and out as he sucked at her clit. He withdrew his fingers and slid his body up hers until his mouth was at her breasts. His fingers, still damp with her moisture, rubbed over one nipple and then the other, leaving a sweet trail around the buds.
Then he sucked one of his fingers into his mouth while she watched. Her eyes widened and flared in arousal. He held out the second finger to her, brushing it across her lips.
“Taste,” he invited.
She hesitated as if unsure then slowly opened her mouth for his finger. He swiped it across her tongue then pulled against the suction of her lips until it popped free.
He bent and licked one nipple, tasting her arousal. He sucked it into his mouth, working it up and down with the force of his lips. Then he turned his attention to the other, giving it equal treatment.
“Please, I need you,” she begged. “I want you inside me.”
He lowered a hand to her pussy and eased a finger inside once more, wanting to see if she was prepared for him. Satisfied that she was, he spread her wider and positioned himself at her entrance.
She shifted impatiently underneath him but he held back, determined to set the pace. Slowly, torturously, he pushed inside her. A shudder worked over his body as she enveloped him, welcomed him, grasped him with her warmth.
He inched forward even though his body screamed at him to plunge deep, to ride her long and hard, make her his in the most primitive way a man could own a woman. But in fact, she owned him. Every piece of his heart and soul.
Finally she took matters into her own hands. She wrapped her legs around his hips and arched forward, taking him the rest of the way home.
He lowered himself, allowing her to take some of his weight but not all. He loved the feeling of her pressed to every inch of his skin. The contrast between her softness and the hardness of his body fascinated him. It gave him a sense of her trust. He could so easily crush her. Hurt her.
Her hands slipped over his shoulders, her fingers digging into him as he thrust into her. He could feel her quivering around him, her pussy gripping him, fluttering softly as her body tensed. She was close, and he was determined she’d get there first.
“My Jaz,” he murmured. “My sweet Jaz.”
She fused her lips to his, and he was swamped by the heady mixture of sweet and hot, love and lust.
She began to shake, and her legs and arms tightened around him. He thrust harder and reached down between them to stroke at her clit. She gasped and then latched onto his neck, burying her face in his shoulder.
He clenched his teeth and held himself still for a moment until he was sure she’d experienced her release. Then he let go, burying himself as deeply as he could go. He withdrew then thrust forward once, twice and finally again.
His balls tightened unbearably. Every muscle in his body clenched until he erupted deep inside her, the relief making him weak. He lay wedged within her, content to remain still as he jerked and finished inside her.
He gathered her to him and shifted until he was beside her. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “I love you,” he said one more time.
She kissed his chest and snuggled deeper into his embrace. “I love you too, Zane. So much. And never less than Seth. I need you to know that.”
Her words touched a worry that he didn’t even know he’d had, but as she uttered them, he felt some of his anxiety lift. He squeezed her and let his hands wander over her, content to touch her.
“I know,” he finally said. “I know, Jaz.”