Breach (14 page)

I sh
ould have grabbed him the second the doors closed, but I lacked the courage. Odd how his emotions ebbed and flowed like the tide, constantly changing the dynamics of whatever it was we were to each other. His moods always set our tone. At that moment he was rebelling against us, trying to ignore the pull we both felt. Did he feel guilty for giving in at the office?

The air around us changed the second his stomach let it be known it wanted food, the grumble echoing around the elev
ator.

A giggle escaped before I turned to grin at him. “Hungry are we?” I watched his body rela
x, a sheepish grin forming. It was new, and I couldn’t help but think how cute he looked.

“Maybe just a little
.”

The elevator pinged, signaling we had reached my floor. I stepped off and extended my hand to him. “Come.”

He stared at me like he was contemplating what I meant. “Lila, I…”

“Have dinner with me. Come.”

“You don’t have to cook for me,” he said.

“Well, I
have to do it for me, and it’s usually enough to feed four. So, come.” I beckoned him with my hand.

After a moment of deliberation and
great reluctance, along with an argument from his stomach, he took my hand. He stared at me with his brow knitted together while we walked down the hall to my condo. I didn’t know what was going through his mind, but from the outside it looked as if he was guarding himself from my sexual assault. The thought made me laugh as it was he who attacked me in the most spectacular way against a wall in our office. And he was frightened of little me?

“So,
how long have you lived in Indianapolis?” I asked while I moved to the bedroom and changed into something more comfortable. We knew few details about one another, and I was going to get to the bottom of Nathan Thorne.

“M
y whole life, with the exception of college. What about you?” he asked.

H
e removed his tie and I licked my lips in memory of how he’d used it earlier. He also rid himself of his suit jacket and unbuttoned his dress shirt.

“
Indiana native, born and bred,” I admitted. “I moved to Indy just before college and stayed. No reason to return anyway. Not much demand for lawyers in the middle of nowhere.”

He sounded surprised by my admission.
“You didn’t go out of state for law school?”

I moved past him and walked to the kitchen.

I sighed and shook my head. “No. Too much to pay out of state tuition. I’ll be paying off my school debts for another few years as it is. Even with my grants.”

He smirked before admitting
his parents had paid for college, including his stint at Harvard Law. I stared at him as he spoke of the East Coast school and his time there. He was smiling as he recounted his first year at the elite establishment.

I had always known he was more than just
a transactional attorney. You didn’t go to Harvard Law for such a technical position. Another piece.

I admi
red his smile before commenting, “You know, that mask of yours is slipping a lot lately.”

He shrugged his shoulders, his smile faltering.
“There’s no point in the pretense around you.”

My heart fluttered in my chest.
“But I still don’t know your secrets,” I pointed out as I opened the fridge door, and dipped down to find some vegetables for a salad.

“No, but you know there
are
secrets. That’s much more than anyone else. It’s nice not to have to always pretend everything’s perfect.”

I
, better than anyone, knew what he meant. Even his voice had lost its pretense and was low with little inflection.

“So, why pretend then?”

“It makes things easier.” He rubbed the back of his neck. It seemed a nervous gesture to me; he didn’t like the subject matter. “It didn’t take long to learn that after… People don’t really want to know that your knee and wrist ache every day, your body hurts in ways you can’t describe, that you’re plagued by migraines and nightmares, or your depression and anxiety continue years later.”

I stood staring at him after
his impromptu confession. He hadn’t given much detail, but at least I knew why. It was easier than the truth by far. It kept looks of pity at bay. It kept the memories away.

“What about you?” he asked.

I pulled away from the open door, bringing with me a variety of vegetables and a can of pasta sauce. Pasta was quick, which was good due to how late it was, according to the wall clock.

“What
about
me?”

He qui
rked an eyebrow at me. “You really want to play that game? Do you want me to say it?”

“No.”

“Why then?”

“
The same. It’s easier to say I’m fine then go into detail about how I put out a confident front, but inside I’m holding the darkness at bay and one word can send it crashing down.”

“You confound me,” he said
.

My brow scrunched as I stared back at him in confusi
on.

“You hav
e such a poor view of yourself.” He frowned, deep in thought, and his voice was full of concern. “How did you get this way?”

“Doesn’t matter.
Damage done, and I’m working to get past it.” I swallowed hard, turning away from him as I located a cutting board and knife.

He settled his h
ip into the side of the counter, keeping out of my way as I worked. His position meant he could continue to talk to me and also watch my every move. “Hiding it doesn’t help you get past it.”

“No, it doesn’t, you know
that all too well. The thing is: I’ve at least gotten a little better over the years. Have you?” I asked as I filled a pot with water and set it on the burner, turning it on high to get it boiling.

“Your
eyes say differently,” he said, diverting away from my question yet again.

“I said I’ve gotten b
etter, not that I was healed. Downers don’t help, that’s why I don’t go out drinking with people…you’ve seen what happens.”

“Yes
, but that also shows you aren’t better.”

“You make me better,” I whispered i
n a small voice.

He
blinked at me, his face stoic.

“You make me fee
l like I’m all of the things they said I wasn’t. Beautiful, smart, sexy…worth something.”

“Who are
‘they’?” Nathan asked after a moment of silence. “What did ‘they’ do to you?”

“You
want to know? You’re certain you want me to tell you how every day I was told how insignificant I was?” I set down the knife and turned toward him, my arms crossing over my chest. “You’re not forthcoming with information, and I get that, I do. I hope one day you’ll be able to tell me. As for me… Well, when you’re young, and the people in your life tell you these things
every day,
you begin to believe them. They become ingrained into who you are, and I’ve worked damn hard to push them away. Years of therapy. I’ve seen a psychiatrist from the time I was seventeen. Twelve years later I have more confidence, but everything still haunts me.”

“I’ve done that to you, haven’t I? I’ve said something to trigger you?”
His tone was knowing.

“You didn’t know,” I said with a shrug
, looking away. “Alcohol is a double edged sword for me. It helps me sleep, but my depression spikes.”

“Yet you drink every Friday, letting everything come back,” he noted.

“Stalking me now?” I teased.

“No, just observant.”

“Well, Mr. Observant, can you hand me the bread sitting next to you?”

I placed the vegetables on a cutting board and rinsed my hands. My skin prickled with the familiar humming that passed between us, letting me know he was in very close proximity. I took the bread from him, letting out a breath. The back of his fingers caressed my cheeks as his gaze captured mine.

“You
are so much more than pretty. That was what I wanted to say to you that night. Instead I was inadvertently mean to push you away.” He pressed his body against me, pushing me into the counter. His forehead fell forward, resting against my own. “How do you do this to me?”

With a small tentative move, I
tilted my head, testing him, giving him an out before my lips found his. He didn’t move at first, didn’t breathe, but then his hands were in my hair, his tongue slipping in to find mine, his teeth biting my bottom lip when he gave in.

“Fuck, you taste so good. Could f
ucking eat
you
for dinner,” he said with a growl, his hips rocking forward, pressing his cock into my stomach. He was hard and my eyes closed from the euphoric feeling of what I wanted.

“Please.”

“Please what?” he asked. His hand moved down to my ass, squeezing it, pulling me closer to him as he continued to rock into me.

My fingers clenched around the fabric of his shirt, the heat in my cheeks rising. “Please, Nathan, I need you to fuck me. I need you inside me. I’ve waited all day.”

I received a moan of appreciation as the hand in my hair tilted my head back and his mouth began its journey down my neck. I was panting with need, still so worked up from earlier.

He was unable to take any more, and
lifted me up onto the counter. My legs wrapped around his waist, and the new position had him lined up with my throbbing pussy. He pushed his hips into mine, rubbing the length of his clothed cock against me. I moaned at the sensation, what I’d been dreaming about all day.

“You like that?
Little wanton slut begging for my cock. Is that what you want? Me to shove my cock in you? Make you scream?”

“Yes, fuck yes!” I pulled
him back down to my lips. We shifted again as need took over.

W
e worked to remove our clothing as swiftly as possible. It was difficult, what with our lips crashing together, and hands doing anything we could to get closer, but somehow we managed to remove them.

“Fuck.
” He shuddered as I took his cock in my hand, stroking him. “God, you are so fucking insatiable.”

“Good thing you can ke
ep up,” I managed to say as he lined up and pushed his hips forward, filling me one inch at a time.

“So wet
for me,” he moaned as he pulled out and slid back in, his hips stilling.

His mouth moved down to my nipple, teasing it, the sensation sky rocketing down to my abdom
en. I mewled, my hips trying to get him to move. My scalp cried out as he pulled my head back, exposing my neck, bowing my body and granting him access.

His gaze was commanding as he sneered at me.
“I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready. Until then you will sit there with my cock shoved up your cunt and be happy it’s there.”

A shiver ran down my spine at his words
, and I complied. His hand moved down to where we were joined and his fingers began teasing my clit. I whimpered as the fire grew, my walls clenching around him, every flick of his fingers or tongue making me tighter. After a few minutes, his need to move took over. He started with short strokes that drove me insane. His teeth pulled on my nipple, and it was the final straw. My orgasm ripped through me, leaving me shaking.

“That’s it, baby,
come all over my cock.”

Nathan
released my hair, his hips beginning the punishing pace my body had become accustomed to. He’d given me no time to recover, and I was crying out, screaming; my body still so sensitive. I had no words, just sounds. My vision was blurred, unable to focus, my mind blank. Only my body remained to receive him and the pleasure he gave me.

He was shouting expletives, but I couldn’t understand anything other than his large cock slamming into m
e, his hands gripping me tight, and his mouth marking me. He forced my body over the edge again, and I felt tears running down my cheeks. I was literally crying from the onslaught of sensations.

“Shit, shit, shit!”
His hips stilled; he was grunting and groaning as he came deep inside, sheathed to the hilt.

His body r
elaxed against the cabinets as he came down from the high. Our chests were heaving as our pants died down. My limp arms wrapped around his neck keeping him close. “Lila…fuck, Lila.”

“No. No fuck
Lila. Lila done for tonight. Try back in the morning,” I managed to say. I received a chuckle to my neck in response, and a light kiss against my skin.

“I suppose I could wait a few more hours, maybe fuck you while you’re asleep in the middle of the night. Wouldn’t that be a nice way to wake up? My cock buried inside of you?”

I moaned at the thought. “Oh, God!”

“I’l
l take that as a hell yes, Miss Palmer.”

“I am all for wake up calls l
ike that, Mr. Thorne.”