Breach (25 page)

“Ye
s. I couldn’t tell you because…well…what we have is complicated.”

Caroline nodded in underst
anding. “Yeah, you said ‘Christopher’ was broken. Jesus…Nathan doesn’t seem to be like that. I don’t see it.”

“He has a better act
than I do.”

Caroline stood there, her arms folded across her chest, a contemplative look etched on her face. A moment later
, she made an abrupt turn and walked back into the kitchen. I followed, wondering what was going on.

Thus far,
I found his response more disturbing than Caroline’s. I had no idea what was going on inside his head. As soon as he saw Caroline, he began the mindless task of putting groceries away and prepping for dinner.

I watched
on with a wary eye as Caroline approached Nathan’s back. He turned at the sound of her footsteps against the tile. She stopped about a foot in front of him, invading his personal space. His act was perfectly in place, and he seemed as cool as ever.

“
You
.” She pointed her finger at him, in an accusing way. “Hurt her and I’ll fuck you up. Understood?”

I let out a little giggle from the expression that formed on his face;
his eyes were wide in fear of the woman in front of him. She was over half a foot shorter than him, and about half his weight, yet she was standing there intimidating a former federal prosecutor.

“Understood.”

“Are you being safe with my girl? I’ve seen you with some floozies.”

“I’m clean.
Promise.”

“Better fucking
be, bucko.”

And wi
th that, she was smiling again.

W
armth spread in my heart, the love for my friend growing. This was something new, something I had never experienced but had read about and seen in movies. The best friend warning the guy. Caroline was already friends with both Andrew and I when our relationship began, so I had missed this experience then.

“So,
you two…” Caroline began, diving in, now that her brain was working again. “When did all of this start up? Did it happen one day here, or was it an office tryst one night type of thing?” Caroline smiled and waggled her eyebrows.

I could feel
the blood flooding to my face, and my eyes widened. Nathan froze mid slice, clearing his throat before continuing.

Her expression
returned to the one of shock that had frozen on her face before “Seriously? In the office? In
your
office?”

I nodded, swallowing hard, too embarrassed to speak.

“Wow, you’re my kinky idol now, Lila.” She leaned back against the counter with a smile.

“What? I…
he…” I stammered in protest.

“I bet it was hot.”

“Of course it was hot,” Nathan answered, turning to look at Caroline, and speaking freely for the first time. “Look at her. She is fucking gorgeous and sexy as hell. Sin should be her middle name.”

Caroline stared as he spoke, the grin spreading on her face. “So, have words of love been shared?”

At the mention of love between us, Nathan stopped what he was doing. My eyes were glued to his back, watching the muscles in his shoulders and back tense.

“What did I say?” Caroline asked, her head moving between the two of us, startled by his sudden shift.

I was used to his mood swings, but Caroline was used to the mask. He turned from his spot against the counter and his eyes found mine, holding my stare for a moment before he moved to the sink and washed his hands.

“I think it’s about time you took over. I’m going to go change,” he declared as he dried his hands.

“All right. Thank you.” I hated that his mood had soured.

As he walked past me
, he stopped and leaned down, placing a quick kiss to the top of my head, surprising me, before heading up to his condo.

Caroline stared after him.
“What the hell was that?”

I let out a sigh as I headed
to the sink and washed my hands before moving to finish cutting the chicken Nathan had started. I tried to explain to her as best I could. “Nathan is…complicated…and damaged. What you see on the outside, at the office, is just a façade. Like pretty new siding over an old dilapidated house.”

Caroline considered this for a moment, mulling over everything. “But, you consider yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, right?
Dating?”

I bit my lip, trying to find the best way to describe our status, or lack thereof. “No, our relationship is…undefined.
The only word we use is ‘mine.’”

“Well…
it may not be a declaration of a relationship, but it is a claim, I suppose. You only see each other?”

“Yes.
Every day, actually.”

“Every day?
Do you sleep in the same bed?”

“Yes.”

“Every night?”

“Yes.”
My hand slowed down as I continued to cut into the food, realizing just how pathetic it all must sound to her.

“Wow…just…
I don’t know, Lila. I see now why your insomnia has gone away if you’re sleeping with him every night.” Her brow scrunched in concern. I could see the sadness in her eyes. “This is not what I was expecting you to tell me tonight.”

“I didn’t want to keep it from you, but the way
things happened between us was unconventional.”

“So, that night at the
bar, that was after the office romp?” she asked, and I nodded. “I wondered why he was acting so weird. He didn’t like Andrew near his girl.”

I rolled my eyes. “He
doesn’t like Andrew at all, and the feeling is mutual. I don’t get it.”

“Men.
I know you don’t understand them – who does? – but, let’s put it this way…you used to be Andrew’s and now your Nathan’s. I
know
Andrew still has a thing for you and Nathan clearly does. Neither of them likes the thought of you with the other.”

Her inquisition was hitting so many nerves, I had to concentrate on cutting,
otherwise I was going to lose a finger. I squinted, trying to focus on every little movement I made. “But Andrew doesn’t know about us.”

“Doesn’t matter.
He’s a guy and therefore all other guys are possibilities of taking you. Something Nathan seems to do very well.” She said with a wink.

I felt the blush creep over my skin. “Yes, he does.”

“I wonder what happened to him.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “All I know is
he used to be a federal prosecutor and that something bad happened, scaring him.”

“Oh, I know.
We can Google him!”

She bounced with excitement
and ran to her purse. As soon as she had her phone in her hand, she began searching for him. My hand reached out and covered the screen, causing her gaze to snap up to mine, confusion swirling in her eyes.

I stared
at her. “You can do that, but don’t tell me. I tried once, but when the search came up I closed it. I want to hear it from him when he’s ready.” Caroline studied me for a few moments, and all I could do was blink back at her. “What?”

“Oh my God, you’re
in love with him.”

“Is that what this feeling is?” I asked, re
flecting on all the emotions that swirled around inside me.

My hand rested on my chest
, right over my heart. Love? Could it really be? I’d never been in love before, not even with Andrew…in fact, the only love I had was my platonic love for Caroline and my foster family. The idea both thrilled and frightened me.

She smiled at me, her hand moving to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yes, sweetie, that’s what that feeling is.”

After that, her attention was drawn back to the shiny piece of technology in her hand. I watched Caroline as she surfed for Nathan, looking for the information to quench her curiosity. I knew the moment she found what she was looking for. Her expression said it all.

As I feared, her smile
of excitement fell from her face, sadness replacing it. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, her body sagging against the counter for support.

Her body language answered
all my unspoken questions. Again, I felt the pang in my chest. Would I be enough to keep him with me?

I heard the sound of a key in the lock followed by the door cl
osing; Nathan had returned.

“How’s dinner coming?” he asked
, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips at the sight of him when he rounded the corner.

Nathan was sin in a suit and equally as sinful in jeans and
a t-shirt. To be honest, anything or nothing on Nathan, it didn’t matter, he always looked delicious.

Caroline walked up to stand a few feet right in fro
nt of him. “I’m sorry. I Googled you. Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to anyone, even Lila. She wants to hear it from you when you’re ready,” Caroline blurted, speaking fast, and wide-eyed.

Nathan’s eyes round
ed in what looked like fear and he swallowed hard. He leaned down toward her and lowered his tone. “I need to request that you please make sure you do. Only a few trusted people in the office know. I stress this because what you learned isn’t the whole story, nor wholly true, and I don’t want rumors spreading.”

“I promise. I won’t say a word. It’s not my place anyway,” she assured
him.

Her reaction flared my curiosity again. In one search he’d gained her trust and devotion, a hard feat.

“Thank you, Caroline.”

The rest of dinner went
off without a hitch. There was no more talk about Nathan’s past, and only a few times did Caroline bring up Andrew’s name. She did it just to watch Nathan’s reaction to it, of that I was certain. Her eyes lit up every time, and she smiled when his eyes narrowed. She’d then look to me with a knowing smile. We talked about work, the office, and Nathan’s fan club.

It was then that Nathan found out w
hat I called his admirers; I’d never ever told him. He also vowed he would forever refer to them as “B.S.” so that we could be discreet when talking about them in the office. He also assured Caroline that he didn’t buy any of the B.S.’s BS.

When he laughed at his little joke
, I couldn’t help but stare in wonder at the smile that formed. It was new. It wasn’t forced, nor a small one. I’d never seen him smile like that, and I was awestruck at the beauty of it, and the light feeling coming off Nathan at that moment. I etched it into my memory; there was a chance I would never see him like that again.

Around nine, Carol
ine said her goodnights and that she’d see us in the morning, promising to act normal.

I turned to
him as we cleaned up the mess from dinner. “Did your phone really die?” I had to admit, I loved that we were able to spend time with someone else knowing about us. It was liberating.

He smirked and my suspicion flared up. Had he known and come anyway?

“Yes, it died after lunch.”

“How l
ong after lunch?” I asked.

A devilish grin spread across his lips.
“Sometime around when you got coffee. I was surprised to find she followed you home. I thought she would come over later.”

“Oh, God, you did read it and came over anyway?”

“Technically, I read half of it…then my phone died.”

“Unbelievable!”

“I thought it was a good idea. One of your friends should know, in case…” He trailed off. I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I’d learned that sometimes it was best to let certain things go. He would tell me in his own time.

“You couldn’t have give
n me a heads up? I was freaking out!”

He placed a kiss on my neck.
“I’ll make it up to you.”

“How?”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I think I have a few tricks up my sleeves…and down my pants.”

I shook my head and chuckled. “Do you
, now? I’m not sure I’m convinced of your professed prowess.”

A complete lie.
He had shown me again and again his skills in the bedroom – or wall, living room, elevator, shower, just about anywhere and everywhere.

“Are you challenging my ability to make you come and come often?” he questioned in mock incredulity.

He was being playful. Just what had gotten into him that evening, I didn’t know. Maybe he had taken his meds when he was upstairs. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to complain. I liked this side of him, a lot.

After the dishes were dry and put away, he leaned over and picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder.

I cried out in protest. “Nathan!”

“Time for bed, Number O
ne.”

“Number O
ne?” I questioned.

“
Yes, you’re number one in the Boob-Squad.”