Breach (The Blood Bargain) (10 page)

“So you don’t regret...” I trailed off.

“I have no regrets.  I’m glad I went with you guys.  I’m glad I’m still around.  I am what I am.  There’s no changing the past so why focus on it?  There’s no worrying for the future what will be will be.  We only have now.”

“I think I like Zen Adam.”

“Heh.”

“Snow lockdown is starting.”  I desperately wanted to change the topic to something lighthearted.  After all, it had always been so easy to talk to Adam.

That brown bob of his nodded.  “Figured.  Can I come visit, you know, over the winter?”

“Always.  I’d love to borrow some books if you have recommendations.”  His face lit up, he bounced on the bed.

“Yeah!  I can hit libraries now too.  So like, you want something lemme know I’ll go find it.”

“Okay.”  I yawned, my lids drooping without apology.

“Shit I’m sorry.  I’ll go so you can rest.”

“Thanks Adam...” I fought the sleep that pulled me, there was one last thing to make clear, “hey.”

“What?”

“Knock next time, okay?”  I drawled.  Much as I thought of him like a brother, I didn’t need him just wandering up in here while I was changing or something.

“Sure.  Sorry.”  He blushed and gave me a light laugh.  A sound that echoed in my mind as I faded into sleep’s embrace.

I woke to wind battering the house in steady rhythmic gusts, snow fluttered outside my window blanketing the
landscape in a lovely pure white.  Without  street plows, snow blowers, sand and ice melt, the landscape remained undisturbed for the majority of the season making for a serene-almost otherworldly-view.  If it didn’t bring with it illness and frigid temperatures, I probably would have still enjoyed winter.

I noticed a pair of boot prints had corrupted the
snowscape along the far sidewalk.  Had to have been winter ordinance patrol.

Once the snow was coming down there were volunteers that went house to house, making sure everyone knew the seasonal lockdown was starting.  They also verified all houses were in working order and well stocked with supplies.  They had always kind of reminded me of a town
cryer, ringing a bell running down the street shouting the latest.  Thankfully there was no running in the snow and no bells because they were loud and obnoxious.  Just a polite pair checking in with all and sundry.

With the lockdown beginning effectively tomorrow, I was out of work till the spring thaw.  Even the council minded the lockdown.  The only fuzzy line were those in blood service, although I had heard this time of year the vamps were known to make house calls rather than opt for delivery service.

That brought my mind back around to Caius, with his statements could I expect a visit from the dark puppeteer this winter?

A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about last night.  While the punctures on my neck were healing, there was no scab on the memories.  I could vividly remember every detail of what put them there, and every inappropriate thought that came with it.  I felt like a cheat, like a double cheat actually, even though he had done nothing but steal from me.  Stomach churning I forced myself to admit that truth.  I hadn’t asked to be his evening snack, or even agreed.  It just happened.  Why I was so okay with it at the time had to have been some sort
of mind voodoo I didn’t understand.  It had to be.  I shouldn’t feel guilty.  It wasn’t my fault.  It wasn’t.

Despite ordering my mind to just be cool with what had occurred last night with
Ciaus, every time I turned my head the skin by those twin scabs pulled, bringing with it pangs of guilt and bile in my throat.  Maybe I just needed time.  Time and something to do.

I eyed my closet, thinking I’d just get dressed then go find a way to be useful, knowing this would be the last day I saw Cole for a good while I tried to pick some nicer looking stuff that was also warm.  I didn’t have much luck.  Our decade old super store raid selections had left me with sweats, bulky sweaters, shapeless fleeces and a few character tee-shirts.  There was nothing ‘
ooo-lala’ about winter.  Settling on a pair of black sweats over thermals, I wiggled into two pairs of socks, a tee shirt and a gray fleece.  Funny, I had set out to look nice, and ended up throwing half my clothes on the floor and wearing what I always wear.

I guess now at least the floor was
stylin.

With a disappointed hiss at myself I left my little haven, wandering down to join the rest of my family.

Candice was in the kitchen hovering over a giant cooking pot with a wooden spoon. From the smell it seemed like we were having soup.  Her blonde hair was tied back in a messy ponytail giving me a clear view of her face.  Let’s just say I’d never seen someone so ecstatic to be stirring a vat of soup.  The way her expression seemed so eerily pleased with her liquid concoction reminded me of a witch who had successfully used her last eye of newt.

She didn’t acknowledge my presence in the room the first time I said hello.  The second greeting pulled her back from whatever crazy day dream she was having.

“Oh sorry Liv.”

“Smells good.”

“Thanks!  I think this should be enough for lunch and dinner don’t you?”

I nodded, knowing it would probably cover lunch and dinner tomorrow as well.  The whole making it last game.

“Why do you look smiley?”

“Oh nothing...I was just thinking.”

“About?”  She took a deep breath and turned from the soup vat to face me.

“All this snow. The lockdown is the perfect time to move in with Ben!  Gives us a few solid months together, then we can get a wedding arranged in the spring.”

“He proposed?”  To her my surprised expression was probably seen as an omen of excitement, too bad I was feeling more horrified than happy at this news.

“Not yet, but as much as we’re together, I’m sure it’s right around the corner.  He’s so nice to me, always opens doors, and gets my drinks first.  You know, he makes me feel taken care of.  With his job, you know I’d always be protected.”

“So everything’s going great?”  She had to have some doubt, some idea that all the nights he wasn’t around her he was with Sammie.  I searched her face for anything that would give me a sign; a flicker of her mouth, a glimmer in her eye, instead all I got was a radiance like she had just been crowned Miss Post Apocalypse 2022.

“You know it girlie!”

“Maybe winter is a better time to chill it, you know absence makes the heart grow fonder.”  I hoped I could insinuate a giant stop sign on this idea.

She snorted. “Seriously wait till the spring?”

“It will be over before you know it.”

“Sure says the girl whose guy practically lives here.”  She waved at me dismissively and went back to tending her soup.

“We’re not like that.”

“Yeah you are.”  I put that in my mental pin board to evaluate my feelings on that one.

Had things really become so serious in everyone else’s eyes?  I knew the answer, his Mom wanted to meet me and my Dad was whining about wedding bells.  Still I found myself pining for the vampire who basically told me he didn’t want me in his life and skipped town on some weird peace errand.  How could I settle down with Cole with all that yearning floating around my skull, but was that yearning truly my own or a remnant of vampire trickery?  I shook my head to clear it.  This current conversation was not about me, it was about Candice.

“So have you and Ben had talked about it?”  I asked casually.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, being a solid couple, and all that.”

“We’re not a solid couple?”  She raised an eyebrow, pausing mid stir.

“No no I didn’t mean that. I meant like, your plans for the future, you’ve confirmed he’s all on board with them and stuff.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”  Her voice showing the beginnings of irritation.

I bit my lip.  This wasn’t going well.

“Liv. What are you trying to say to me, you don’t get this awkward unless it's seriously bad.  Come on you’re starting to freak me out.”

“I’m just
saying you should talk to him about the whole thing, make sure he’s on the same page.”  Her eyes widened, skin paling like someone who had ridden the tilt-a-whirl too many times.

“Oh...oh no...He’s seeing someone else isn’t he.”  She asked quietly, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I didn’t say that.”  I didn’t have to, she wasn’t stupid.  As much as this wasn’t the way I wanted to tell her, I was kind of well, screwed at this point.  She knew me too well.  By not showing any over enthusiastic signs or well wishes for her plans I had shown I had a reason to not like the guy.  Candice wasn’t stupid, she knew me well enough to know my feelings on most issues.  Ben wasn’t a jerk and he wasn’t bad to look at, which left only a few conclusions.  Be it fortunate or not, she had picked the right one.

“Yes you did.  And you know who it is!”  She pointed at me.  I just stared at her like a deer in headlights.  Silly me, you can’t play dead with Candice, especially not when she’s upset like that.  My silence just caused a barrage of questions at increasing volume.

“Does she come to the garage?”

“No.”

“Is it that blonde who works in the cornfield?”

“No.”

“Have I seen her before?  I bet she’s one of-”

“It’s Sammie okay?”  I cut her off, noticing our voices had raised to the point of yelling.

Candice took a step back, trying to process what I told her.

“Your nurse?!  And here the whole time I thought she was here to help you get better not to be going around stealing my man.  I am
going to have words with that girl before the snow lock.”

“It’s not her fault.”  I’d stepped into it enough, might as well finish digging my grave. “He was seeing her first, you’re the other woman.”  Blood rushed to her face, her eyes wide as that little tidbit sunk in.

“You knew....you knew and you didn’t tell me.  What the hell! You are supposed to be my best friend!”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”  I pleaded quietly under her screaming.

“Didn’t want to hurt me!  Well nice fricken job!”

“I thought maybe he was leaving her for you, but I saw Sammie and she said he’d been by recently.  I just couldn’t have you hitch your wagon to a guy who kept a plan B in his pocket.”

“Cole knew too didn’t he?” I didn’t have to answer, it was rhetorical.  The anger Candice had been showing cracked and peeled, an odd calm surfacing from underneath it.  Her face showing the tired lines of someone who had lived through too much for her years, her cheeks seemed to sag, her eyes showing crow lines and circles that were usually hidden under her perky smile. She looked ruined, utterly and completely. “You all make me sick.” Her voice was flat, the anger giving way to an obscure calm state.

“Candice...”

“No you leave me alone.”  Tears poured from her eyes, her voice quivering slightly.  “I have always been there for you.  Defended you when others whispered behind your back about that stupid vampire, when they called you a slut and a traitor and when they wanted to run you outta here.  I’ve never judged you.  Ever.  How could you do this to me?  You are a horrible friend, no you’re not my friend.”

I tried to stop her from leaving, blocking her path. “Of course I am.”  I countered.

The object flying at my face was backed with so much force that I saw stars.  The familiar taste of blood filled my mouth. 

“Bullshit.  You keep secrets, always too busy running around with those boys and vamps or whatever else it is you do.
”   It took me a moment to register what it was.  “Never ask about my life, only offering to help us out or hang out if you’re bored.” Knuckles.  Candice had hit me.   “That’s not-” Hit me.  In the face. “-even a decent roommate not to mention a friend.  You’re just a self-serving...asshole!”  Candice stormed out of the kitchen, banking the corner up the stairs.  I stood there in shock, listening to her stomp down the hall to her room, the opening and shutting of the old oak door and the muffled sobs that followed. I slumped back against the cabinets and put my face in my hands.  The warm wet drip from my lip smearing on my palm.  How I hated the smell.   With a sigh, I wiped my bloody hand on my jeans. 

I had never meant to hurt her ever.  I didn’t think she was all that serious about him; Candice had jumped from guy to guy to guy since she had been old enough to go out and about.  I had figured he was just another phase on her
quest to find Mr. Right, that she’d move on and normal would resume.

That was the problem. I
I I.

It had all been what I thought.  She was right, I was a self-serving asshole.  I had been preoccupied only with my own world at the time.  Granted my world was filled with vampires and conspiracies but that didn’t mean I threw my best friend to the side when I knew something foul was a foot.

Grabbing a floral embroidered dish rag from the side of the sink, I held it to the cut on my lip with a wince.  For being a girly girl she sure hit like a man.

I was going to have to find a way to make things right with Candice, when she cooled down.