Break My Fall (No Limits) (15 page)

Several times I had to stop myself from going to the ATM, withdrawing some money from my extremely modest balance, and changing it out for chips. It was difficult to resist, but I managed to fight the urge.

Two hours later—five a.m. local time, but eight a.m. to us—we headed upstairs to the room to crash. We were both exhausted. Some of it from the day before and traveling, but Drew spent a lot of energy concentrating on the cards, and I was coming down from a caffeine high.

On the elevator ride up, he told me he won $
17,900.

.  .  .  .  .

Back in the room, we both collapsed on the bed and I must have been asleep in a matter of seconds because the next thing I knew, I woke up and it was one p.m. As I rose out of the fog of sleep, I realized I was alone on the bed, and then I heard the shower.

Drew came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was slicked straight back, flat against his head, with the exception of a few curls just above his ears.

He saw that I was awake. “About time, Sleeping Gorgeous.”

“How long have you been up?”

He set his bag on the bed and unzipped it. “About fifteen minutes.”

I yawned and stretched. “Oh, sorry you had to wait that long. That’s almost an eternity.”

“I’m starving. You want to take a shower and go eat?”

I sat up. “Yeah, I’m hungry too. I’ll make it fast.”

As I got off the bed, Drew put my bag up there for me.

“Thanks.” I opened it and got out some clothes.

“Did you bring a bathing suit?”

“Sure did.” My preparation for th
is trip was already paying off.

“They have an amazing pool here. I thought we could eat, hang out there for a little while, then maybe do something fun before we hit the tables tonight.”

That sounded like a great day to me. I got the bathing suit, some shorts and a t-shirt out of my bag.

As I made my way to the bathroom, Drew dropped his towel so he could get dressed. I thought about how I was bringing my clothes into the bathroom so I could dress there after my shower. Drew was as comfortable and open with his body as he could possibly be. I wasn’t, and I wondered if I ever would be.

It was silly. We had already had sex. I’d been completely naked with him. But as I showered, I remembered all the eye contact during the sex. At the time, I found it intense, kind of romantic. Now I wondered if he wasn’t looking at my body because of what happened to me. Maybe he was doing it out of respect, not wanting me to feel like I was being stared at.

Or maybe I was reading too much into it.

Once again it came back to my overriding thought: Goddamn Kevin for what he did to me.

We had lunch at the Beach Café, one of the hotel’s several dining spots. We sat outside and enjoyed the sunlight and fresh
air, two things that are easy to forget even exist when you’re inside a hotel and casino all the time.

After
eating, we moved to the pool before spending the rest of the evening in the dim indoors. It was two in the afternoon and we planned to be at the tables by seven.

We found a couple of lounge chairs, spread our towels out,
then stripped down to our bathing suits.

Drew grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the pool, where we jumped in and cooled off for a few minutes before going to lay out.

A waitress came by and asked if we’d like some drinks. Drew ordered a Coke and I said I’d have the same.

“Do you ever drink?
I mean, other than the end of the night drink after playing?” I asked, looking over at him. His golden skin was bathed in sunlight, with droplets of water running down his sides. His hair was curly and wet, and he wore his Ray Ban aviators.

“N
ot much. Only occasionally. I don’t really have any desire to be drunk. I used to drink like any other typical college student, but that was before the plane crash. When I say it changed my life, I mean it changed everything. What about you?”

I looked out over the pool as I answered. “I used to. I haven’t really quit. It’s just more of a case of things changing—li
ke you said—but for me it’s only been a few months since I really drank.”

I asked him if he’d had the beer-shakes at the
RiverDogs game and he said he hadn’t, and probably wouldn’t.

“Do you have a fake ID?” he asked, looking over the tops of his Ray Bans at me.

This was a subject I didn’t want to discuss, but I told him the truth, hoping he wouldn’t press the matter. “I used to, but I got rid of it.”

“
Why?”

I
should have known he would want to know why. I shook my head. “I don’t know, it’s kind of weird. My reason for getting rid of it, I mean.”

“I like weird. Tell me.” He reached over and took my hand, our fingers entwining.

“One day I was looking at it and thinking how it had my face but a different name, address, everything. I wondered what it would be like if Leah Austin disappeared and I became that person on the ID.”

I paused to let him process that, and so I could gauge his reaction.

His thumb lightly brushed the back of my hand. “That’s not weird.”

I looked over at him. “No?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Sounds like a natural thought. You were hurt and scared and you wanted to go somewhere else, so wondering what it would be like to be someone else…no, doesn’t sound weird at all.”

I was glad he wasn’t judging me as harshly as I’d judged myself.

The waitress brought our Cokes. Drew handed her some cash, told her to keep the change, then picked up his drink without releasing his hold on my hand.

“I’m glad you’re still Leah Austin.”

My stomach fluttered when he said it. “Me too.”

“Just out of curiosity, what was your fake ID name?”

“Penelope Shaker.”

Drew threw his head back with a hearty laugh. “Jesus. That righ
t there is enough reason to remain Leah Austin.”

“Hey,” I said. “I didn’t pick it.
A friend of a friend got them for us. That was actually my senior year in high school.” I laughed at a memory. “One time I couldn’t find it, and I freaked out, then found it in the washer. God, if my parents had seen it before me, I would have been grounded from prom.”

Drew asked about my parents, and after I told him
a little about them, I mentioned that they had called last night. “About school, registration, all that.”

He asked about the dates and when I told him he said, “So you’re going back.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I have to. It’s my senior year, so I’m close to graduation. And when you think about it, September is the first full month, plus I’ll have about a month off around Christmas, and finals are in May. So it’s really only like eight months. I’ll just have to tough it out and get through it.”

Drew finished the last of his Coke and set the glass down on the table on the other side of his lounge chair.
“I think you’ll be fine. Actually, I’m sure of it.”

“It’s not going to be easy. It’s just something I have to do.” I didn’t want him to give me any more pep talks, like he’d done on the boat that morning, telling me I was scared and I should know that I had more power than I was giving myself credit for. It was
all true, but I didn’t want to hear it again.

What I wanted to hear was
at least a little regret in his words, letting me know that he was not looking forward to our time together coming to an end soon.

Drew sat up in the lounge chair and turned to face me. I was sure he was going to say something, anything, about the exchange we just had. “It’s getting hot. Want to get in the pool again?”

Chapter Fifteen

We had dinner at
Bacio, an Italian restaurant in the Tropicana. The longer we were in the hotel and casino, the more I realized the place had everything. There was almost no need at all to leave the grounds once you got there, which surely was a part of the business model.

Bacio
was one of the nicest places I’d ever eaten, and while I had no idea how it rated on the scale, it was a definite five-star restaurant in my book. Thankfully, we were dressed for it. I wore the black dress purchased on our first trip to Vegas. Drew wore black slacks, a white shirt, and a black sport coat, no tie.

We talked about blackjack as we ate, and Drew had me recall everything I could about my horrible run at the tables the night before. He examined each scenario I remembered, and gave me pointers for how to play better and smarter in the coming hours.

He was a patient teacher, eager to impart his knowledge. I never detected even a minor trace of frustration or condescension as he walked me through what he thought I needed to know.

I paid attention as best I could, and tried to burn all the information into my brain permanently, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t drift away from time to time, even if just for a moment or so. I couldn’t help it. The
end of the conversation at the pool weighed heavily on my mind and my heart.

I was going to miss him. Probably more than I should, but when you get to that point there’
s no undoing it. I wasn’t about to try, either. The way I saw it, I’d have way more pressing issues I had to face upon returning to Tampa. Maybe enough to forget about ever seeing Drew again.

I had to stop myself several times
from getting lost in the impossible thoughts of him coming to Tampa with me. There was no way he was leaving Charleston and his grandparents.

He was
a person in search of a new path in life after a tragedy, much like I was. The difference was that Drew had a better handle on the situation than I had, and seemed to have found his way. Most likely because he was more willing than I to take those risks he talked so much about.

I
was trying to find the most comfortable way to navigate the next year or so along the path I’d designed before Kevin’s betrayal of me. Clearly I was going about it in a less risky way than Drew. I was taking the more conservative route, hoping it would work out, even though that hope was diminishing.

While he wouldn’t move to Tampa, Drew traveled a lot, so there was always the possibility that he’d come see me. But that would be more like a friendship, or worse, a “friends with benefits” situation.
And even if it was more than that, I’d never been a believer in long-distance relationships.

I didn’t want to think about it anymore
. There would come a time for that very soon, and right now I just wanted to enjoy what we were doing while we still had time together.

.  .  .  .  .

“Take it.” He held out a handful of chips.

“No, I’ll get my own.”

“Leah, it’s just a thousand.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “And remember how I got it. I’ll get more.”

I laughed. “Yeah, just like the other thousand I lost. I think I need to play with a smaller amount of money.” I looked around as we stood outside the entrance to the casino. I felt guilty about losing all that money last night. Money he had won. Money he could have held onto, or more likely, turned into more money. That, combined with my desire to remain independent of anyone, is why I was refusing to take more of his chips.

“Okay,” he said. “Here’s five hundred.”

“I’ll play with my own money.”

He rolled his eyes. “You have so much to learn.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I crossed my arms, an involuntary defensive pose that I wish I’d had control over.

Drew lowered his head next to mine. I felt his lips graze the outer edge of my ear and a chill radiated throughout my body.

“When someone offers you money,” he said, “take it.” My eyes were fixed
on the view over his shoulder, the flashing lights of the electronic slot machines. I felt his hand grab my wrist and lift it, palm up, where he placed the chips. “Yours.”

He stepped around me and disappeared into the crowd.

.  .  .  .  .

It turned
out he didn’t put five hundred dollars in chips in my hand. He had given me the entire thousand.

As I made my way to the tables, making sure I didn’t sit at the same one as Drew, I promised myself I’d play smarter and follow as much of his advice as I could remember.

I lost the first five hands in a row, and decided to change tables. I walked around the floor for several minutes, taking a break, checking out some other games, enjoying the energy and excitement of the place.

Heading back to the blackjack area,
I emerged from a row of slot machines and saw a girl in a butter-yellow evening dress that looked more like a slip standing next to Drew. Her hand was on his shoulder, lightly massaging it.

I felt the muscles in my face fall slack and I froze, standing there feeling stupid. Was this some girl he knew from all of his trips to Vegas? Or was she a hooker? I’d heard about that aspect of Las Vegas, and Drew had mentioned what a distraction it was, theorizing that the casinos encouraged it to
throw players off their game.

Regardless of which it was, my visceral response to the sight sent an alert to my brain:
You’re jealous…

I didn’t like the feeling. I was becoming too attached, definitely too quickly, and my departure date from Charleston was rapidly approaching, anyway, so I had no business allowing myself to feel the way I did.

I had to remove myself from the area, get it out of sight, out of mind.

Fifteen minutes later, I was down to five hundred dollars. Just like that, half of it gone, even after betting only the minimum each time.

The guilt was coming on strong and I was thinking I’d probably never attempt to play blackjack again. I
really wasn’t cut out for it.

I put everything I had left on the next hand
, figuring I might as well get rid of it now and watch Drew for the rest of the night. Unless that girl was still with him, in which case, I didn’t know what I’d do—go up to him anyway, or maybe leave the casino, go to the mezzanine and sit in Starbucks or one of the other restaurants? Maybe go back to the room and find something to watch on TV?

I didn’t have t
o answer any of those questions because the dealer dealt me a King. I looked at the card that was facedown and saw an Ace. I got 21, and since the payout for getting blackjack was three to two, I suddenly had $1,250.

I was so stunned
, I hardly reacted. I stared at the cards for a moment, the dealer announced “Blackjack,” swept my cards away and slid my new winnings across the table to me.

I immediately thought to hold on to the
thousand so I could give that back to Drew, and I would play with the $250 that was actually mine.

“A moment, please, ma’am?” The voice came from over my shoulder.

I turned my head and saw a guy in a dark suit. He was tall, fifty-ish, overweight, an imposing figure with a bald head and a short mustache.

“I’m sorry?” I said, confused.

“If you’d come with me, please,” the man said. “I need a word with you.”

I noticed that he held a small walkie-talkie
in one hand. I looked from his hand, back up to his face.

In a more stern tone, he said, “Ma’am,” and raised his eyebrows as if to say:
Now.

I moved off the chair.

“This way,” he said, placing his hand on my back.

I whipped around. “Don’t touch me.”
I wasn’t trying to be tough, it was simply a reflex. I was confused, scared, concerned, and aside from all of that, I just don’t like strangers, especially men, putting their hands on me.

He backed off, I turned around, and walked in the direction he indicated by pointing his radio’s antenna.

He didn’t take me to a darkened room and put me in a chair with a bright spotlight pointed at me, like you might see in the movies. He didn’t even take me to an office. We ended up near the entrance of the casino, at a bar table, where he told me to take a seat. I sat, and he stood, leaning on the table.

He didn’t get close to my face, thankfully, but he did fix his eyes on me, an intense expression on his face that was obviously meant to intimidate.
“I know what you’re doing.”

“What?”

He shook his head. “Is he training you?”

“Who?”

I knew exactly what the guy was talking about, but I was going to deny everything and play dumb.

“Your…companion.
Boyfriend, teammate, whatever he is. Mr. Collins. He’s counting cards, and so are you. Granted, you’re a small-time player.”

I couldn’t see the blackjack tables from where we were. I wondered
if they had approached Drew and were talking to him somewhere else.

People streamed by, almost all of them gawking at the girl who was detained by the pit boss.

I looked back at the guy. “I don’t even know how to count cards.”

He laughed the kind of laugh someone gives you when they don’t believe you. “Ms. Austin, I watched you place small bets until there weren’t many cards left in the shoe. Then you put
five hundred down—a bet way out of your usual range—and you won. You want me to believe that’s luck?”

“It
was
lucky.” I raised my voice at him. “I lost twice that much here last night.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and figured it was another casino employee, probably security, about to take me somewhere for a more thorough interrogation.

But as I turned my head, I heard Drew’s voice before I saw his face. “Let’s go.”

The pit boss must not have seen Drew approaching because he was just as surprised as I was.
Though not as relieved, for sure. “Mr. Collins, I’m going to have to ask you and Ms. Austin to leave.”

Drew
smirked at the guy. “I just said we were going.” He looked back at me. “Come on, Leah.” He took my hand forcefully. Not rough. Just firm and reassuringly. As we walked away, Drew turned to the pit boss and said, “We’re getting our stuff out of the room and we’ll be gone in fifteen minutes.”

I didn’t look back to see the guy’s reaction, but I heard him as he raised his voice. “I don’t want to see you in here again.”

My heart hammered against my ribs as we got on the elevator. Drew held onto my hand.

A couple joined us on the elevator. The man wore a tux, the woman a white dress. She was holding a bouquet.

Drew whispered to me, “Got any chips left?”

“Yeah.”

“How much?”

I looked up at him. “Twelve-hundred and fifty.”

Drew did a double-take before settling his gaze on me. “You won. You’re up two-fifty.”

I nodded and managed a little smile.

“Congratulations,” he said. “Too bad you can’t keep it.” He held his hand out and I gave him the chips. He got his own chips out of his pocket, then to the couple, he said, “Did you two just get married?”

The woman gave us a big smile and said, “About thirty minutes ago.”

The man said, “Best vacation ever.”

“Yeah,” Drew said, “well, it’s about to get even better. Today’s your lucky day.”

The elevator bell dinged. We had reached our floor.

“Congratulations,” Drew said, and handed the man his chips.

We were off the elevator before either one of them had a chance to respond.

Walking briskly down the hallway, I said, “Why did you do that?”

“The hotel’s not going to cash in our chips after what happened. But they’ll do it for that couple.”

We reached our room. Drew slipped the electronic keycard out of his pocket.

I grabbed his arm. “How much did you give them?”

He
swung the door open. “Just over six grand. Let’s hurry.”

.  .  .  .  .

Twenty minutes later, we were checked into Bally’s hotel and casino, and went straight to the room. Drew got some Cokes out of the mini fridge in the room and called down to room service to have them send up a bottle of rum. “Let’s stay in tonight.”

“
Sounds good to me. So that’s never happened before?” I said.

“Nope.” Drew was changing clothes, out of his black suit and into a pair of cotton workout shorts and a white t-shirt.
“That’s definitely one to put in my journal.”

“It must have been me.”

“Not really. They were on to me. They just went to you because they thought you were a rookie and you’d crack after a few questions.”

I opened my bag and took out a t-shirt. Drew had just changed in front of me again, comfortable as could be. I would have felt stupid goi
ng into the bathroom to change, hiding my body from him again. I also thought again about the way he hadn’t looked at my body when we had sex. I wasn’t quite sure how to bring that up, but I was going to have to at some point.