Break the Sky (Spiral of Bliss Spin Off) (13 page)

He moved only slightly, his gaze holding mine as our bodies brushed together. Heat zinged through my veins instantly at the light contact, the sensation of his muscular chest against my breasts.

“Tease,” I whispered.

“Takes one to know one.”

I shook my head at him, trying not to smile as I went to answer the door. I pulled the door open. Shock hit me at the sight of Dean standing on the front porch.

CHAPTER TEN

KELSEY

“HEY.” DEAN WAS WEARING TRACK PANTS
and a running jacket, his hands shoved into the pockets. He glanced at my clothes. “I thought you were going running with me this morning.”

“Oh.” I could hardly form a thought, let alone a sentence. “Sorry, I… uh, I guess I forgot.”

He glanced at his watch. “I’m early. I’ll wait for you to change.”

“No, I don’t think I—”

Dean’s gaze shifted past me. Warily, I turned. Archer still stood in the kitchen doorway, except now he was facing us.

Tension seized the air. My stomach knotted. I looked at Dean. I saw every single assessment clicking together in his brain. Archer was wearing his trousers and shirt from the previous night. He’d clearly just woken up. He was holding a cup of coffee. I was standing there looking like I’d just rolled out of bed…

I held up a hand. “Dean, I can explain.”

“You’re not the one who has to explain,” he said.

Archer frowned, his expression darkening. “I don’t have to explain anything to you, man.”

I stepped closer to the middle of the doorway. “Dean, it’s okay.”

He shifted his gaze from Archer to me. More than anger, I saw the concern in his eyes. And I felt Archer’s defenses locking into place like steel gates.

“I had her home by curfew, big brother,” he said, lowering his head to swallow some coffee. “Next time, you want to give me a monitoring bracelet? I’ve worn one before.”

Dean’s mouth tightened. Hostility sparked between them. It was my worst fear coming to life, and Archer and I hadn’t even done anything. Much.

I put my hand on Dean’s chest and shoved. The push caught him off guard, forcing him back. I stepped onto the porch and slammed the door behind me.

“Don’t,” I said. “We’re not in college anymore. I’m a grown woman. I know what I’m doing.”

I didn’t, actually, at least not where Archer was concerned. But I had to figure it out by myself. Not because Dean was launching into guardian angel mode.

“Archer’s had a lot of trouble, Kelsey,” he warned.

“I know.”

“Doesn’t that matter?” Dean paced to the porch railing, his shoulders tense. “Look, I take plenty of blame for his life getting messed up, but at some point, you have to man up and get your shit together. He never has. I doubt he ever will.”

“Wow. Nice show of brotherly support.”

Dean sighed, pulling a hand through his hair. “He’s had chances. Plenty of them. He mooched money off our mother for years. Never had a steady job, as far as I can tell. He’s here because he wants his inheritance money, but he has to actually work to earn it. He’s never lifted a finger to try.”

“It sounds like he is now, if he’s working on the house with you.”

Dean shook his head. “I know him, Kelsey. I know what he—”

“No,” I interrupted, and suddenly I’d never felt so certain of anything since the second I’d encountered Archer West.

“You don’t know him, Dean. You don’t. What you’ve done is just assume he’s been a fuck-up all these years. When was the last time you had a real conversation with him? When was the last time you gave him a chance?”

“I’m giving him one now.”

“Not if you think he’s incapable of change, you’re not.”

Silence fell. Dean crossed his arms, still frowning. I took a deep breath. The sky was starting to lighten to a pale gray. I backed toward the door.

“You don’t know him, Dean, but you know me. You know I don’t have any illusions or expectations. You know how strong my defenses are. And you know better than anyone how much I hate making mistakes.”

He didn’t respond.

“I’m not going to make one now.” I put my hand on the doorknob. “And I can’t change what you think about your brother. But I know you won’t ruin fifteen years of friendship by not trusting me.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he said. “Just be careful. And you come to me if anything happens, okay?”

“No, I won’t. I’m an adult. I’m not that college girl who was so messed up she couldn’t think straight. I’ve been thinking clearly for years now. Any decision I make is mine. Now go run it off. I’ll call you later.”

I wasn’t at all sure he’d go, but he started down the front steps, his body still tense.

“Hey,” I called.

He turned. For a second, I couldn’t speak. I had to be straight with him. I approached him, mustering up the courage to tell him the truth even though I was having a hard time admitting it to myself.

“I’ve always been attracted to men like him,” I said. “But I learned a long time ago how to protect myself. And I wouldn’t start anything with him if I didn’t
know
I could handle it.”

Dean shook his head, slanting his gaze to the door again.

“It’s not like you and Liv,” I continued. “There’s no hearts and flowers here. No happy ending.”

“Then why, Kelsey?” Dean spread his hands out in frustration. “What’s the point?”

To feel alive. Exhilarated. To stand in the middle of the storm, breathless, your heart beating hard and your blood streaming hot.

I knew Archer would understand that. I knew we both wanted it.

Dean and I looked at each other for a long minute before he appeared to realize I wasn’t going to answer that question. I couldn’t.

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he finally said.

“I won’t.” I tapped my chest. “Armor of steel, right?”

A faint resignation appeared in his eyes that made my stomach twist. Dean was never resigned, and I didn’t like that he was with me.

At the same time, I would hold my ground because everything I’d told him was the truth. And I would keep my promise to Archer by not using Dean as an excuse. This was about me, not him.

“You’re my best friend, Dean,” I said, disliking the anxiety constricting my chest. “You and Liv. If anything… I mean, if it would cause problems between us—”

“Kelsey.” Some of the tension eased from his shoulders as he closed his hands around my upper arms. “Archer and I have been estranged for years. I’ve never known how to fix our relationship. But if you think for one second I would ever let him come between you and me, no matter what happens, then I’m telling the university to fire you because you’re a complete bonehead.”

I smiled. The tightness around my heart eased.

“Okay?” Dean said.

“Okay.”

“I’m going to hug you now.”

“Okay.”

He enveloped me in a bear hug, then moved away and pointed to the door. “But you tell him if he hurts you, I’m going medieval on his ass.”

“I don’t think he needs me to tell him that.”

Dean nodded then headed down the street. I went back into the house, my nerves tensing again. Archer no longer stood in the doorway.

I found him sitting at the breakfast nook, coffee mug in hand. He was looking out the window at the garden, but he turned when I entered. I saw his defenses locking into place. Mine were still up.

“How much of that did you hear?” I asked.

“None of it. I want to hear it from you, not him.”

I let out my breath, rubbing my damp palms over my thighs. He eyed me warily. I joined him at the table, sliding into the seat across from him.

“So how is it your brother is Dudley Do-Right and you’re Mad Max?” I asked.

He smiled faintly, but his expression darkened. I sensed it wasn’t so much the question that caused his unease, but the answer.

“Dean never told you?” he asked.

“About what?”

“He and I have different biological fathers.”

“Oh.”

“My mother had an affair.” He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “She got pregnant with me, but stayed married to Richard West. Dean and Paige’s father. He was up for a seat on the California Supreme Court. They needed her family’s money. Didn’t need a bunch of gossip. My paternity was a big secret. I might never have found out the truth if Dean hadn’t told me.”

“Dean told you?”

He nodded. “When I was nine. He was thirteen. I broke his video game console on purpose. We got into a fight, and he told me our father wasn’t
my
father.”

I tried to get my brain around that revelation. I couldn’t imagine Dean doing such a thing. “What happened then?”

“Everything got fucked up after that. But we kept the secret. No one knew.”

“Did you ever find out about your biological father?” I asked.

“My mother told me about him when I was nineteen. He was an old high school boyfriend she hooked up with. The affair lasted six months. She never saw him again.”

“Did you ever try and find him?”

“Once, when I was in my early twenties. He worked some office job in Sacramento. I never bothered contacting him. Didn’t see the point. My mother always told me Richard West was the man who raised me, fed me, et cetera, which made him my father. I finally figured out she was right.”

“But you weren’t close to him.”

“No. And when I figured out it was easier to be a troublemaker than to compete with Dean…” He shrugged.

I understood it, the pull toward rebellion. I’d rebelled for a whole host of very different reasons—to armor myself against other kids, to prove my independence from my parents, even sometimes just to clash with my father. And then I’d been hit hard by the realization of how badly such behavior could hurt other people.

I rubbed my finger over a crack in the table. I didn’t want to push this, didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know. But the question mushroomed in the back of my mind like a noxious cloud.

“Are you doing this to fuck with him?” I asked.

Archer lifted his head. “What?”

“Me.” I couldn’t look at him. “You know Dean and I are close. Are you…”
shit shit shit
“…pushing things with me because you want to get to him? Because you know it’ll piss him off?”

If I’d expected an instant denial, I didn’t get it. Instead Archer looked out the window again, almost as if he was actually wondering how to answer that. My chest constricted.

“I did that with Liv once,” he finally said.

“What?”

“The first time I met her,” he said. “Dean had brought her home for Thanksgiving one year. I knew they were getting serious. I figured out pretty fast I could get to him through her. So I did. I insulted her, and he beat the crap out of me.”

I wasn’t surprised. Not by Archer’s hostility or Dean’s rage. Archer would needle Dean every chance he got. And of course Dean would never let an insult go unpunished, especially one directed at Liv.

“He messed me up pretty bad,” Archer continued. “Broke my nose. But it felt good to light his fuse. To make the perfect Dean West lose his shit. It wasn’t the first time I’d done that.”

Pain and sorrow stabbed through me. I hated knowing that Dean and Archer’s troubles had lasted for so many years, breaking apart two brothers who might have otherwise been friends.

I studied Archer’s face, seeing the slight bump on the bridge of his nose that was apparently evidence of this epic beating. The imperfection only added to his rugged beauty, and I found my gaze sliding down to the wide sensuality of his mouth, the prickle of whiskers darkening his jaw.

“That…” My ridiculously active heart had increased in pace again. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“No.” He turned, a sudden and intense light in his eyes. “I’m not using you to get to Dean. Yeah, I’ve done stuff like that before. A lot. But I’m not doing it with you.”

With everything I had, I wanted to believe him. And with everything I knew, I wasn’t at all certain I could.

He knew it, too. I felt his gaze like the most potent of touches.

“Hey.” His voice was soft.

I looked up at him. I wanted to drown in the midnight dark of his eyes.

“I’m not using you.” He made an X over his heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“You’re still leaving in a couple of weeks, right?”

He nodded. “As soon as I’m done working on the house.”

“Okay.” I exhaled a slow breath. “I have rules.”

“I figured you would.”

“I don’t want to get into any more personal stuff.” I held his gaze, keeping my voice steady in spite of my wild, racing heart. “We only do it at my house and only at night. No motels or anything creepy like that. You can stay the night if you want to, but when I leave in the morning, you leave too. No calling me when I’m at work. If you want to reach me, use email. And I’m in charge of the remote.”

For what seemed like a very long time, he didn’t respond. He only looked at me with the morning sunlight sparking in his eyes and his arms folded loosely across his chest. When he finally spoke, his voice was smoke and honey sliding over my skin.

“No.”

I blinked. “No?”

“You don’t make the rules,” he said.

“Of course I make the rules.”

“No.”

“Archer!” I put up my hands in frustration. “I am
this close
to caving and finally agreeing to sleep with you after a week of you sniffing around me like a dog digging for a bone, and now you’re going to argue with me when I try to establish some boundaries?”

He nodded.

“Well.” I slammed my palms on the table and pushed to my feet. “If that’s the way you’re going to be, then I—”