Break You (20 page)

I reached out and scooped one up. “Thanks.”

While Paige painted my toenails, I ate and thought about everything Jason had said last night. I’d been so upset when I returned home that I’d thrown up my entire meal and then some. Paige had been so worried she’d called Lauren, and Lauren had rushed right over to sit with me as well. They’d consoled my endless sobbing and listened to me blubber for hours about what I was going to do now.

I was lost.

Thinking of last night caused tears to pool in my eyes all over again. How could a person cry so much?

“Stop it,” Lauren scolded me. “You’re thinking about everything again and you shouldn’t be. You need to relax and de-stress some. It’s not doing you any good reminding yourself what he said and worrying about what you’re going to do.”

“That’s easier said than done,” I said. I popped another cheese-covered chip in my mouth and wiped my fingertips on the edge of my jean shorts. “I just wish he had reacted differently.”

“Maybe he’ll come around, who knows?” Paige said. She put another coat of silver on my pinky toe and smiled up at me. “You did sort of drop the biggest, earth-shattering news imaginable on him over dinner.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the couch and sucked a tiny piece of tortilla chip from between my teeth. “You’re right. I know I did.”

“He could have chosen to handle the situation better, though. I mean, let’s not forget he said she was
the girl
,” Lauren piped in. “I mean, seriously, what the fuck kind of dickhead thing was that to say?”

I laughed, but truthfully it boiled my blood and brought tears to my eyes to even be reminded of those words. “It’s not like I wanted him to jump for joy or get down on one knee. I would have been okay with him looking shocked and then asking me if I was serious first instead of saying
what are you going to do
like everything was all on me.”

“Okay, that was a dumb thing to say. I’ll give you that, but you have to see it from his point of view… He was shocked shitless,” Paige said.

I cocked my head to the side and glared at her. “Why are you defending him so much?”

“I’m not.”

“You are,” Lauren agreed. She scooped up another chip and took a bite out of it.

“Well, I don’t mean to be,” Paige insisted. She tapped my foot and had me place my other one in front of her. “I guess I can just see both sides.” She shrugged.

Paige was right. There were two sides to this and I was stuck viewing only one of them.

“So, what are you saying—that I should give him some time or call him or something?” I asked.

“I don’t think you should call him,” Lauren butted in. Her mouth was full of chips, but it was easy enough to understand her. “If it were me, I wouldn’t. I’d wait until he called me.”

Waiting for him to call seemed bitchy, but non-clingy. I liked the idea of that.

“I think you should call him if he hasn’t called you in, say…three days. Give both of yourselves time to think rationally about things and decide what you want from each other. I mean, he has to know from the conversation you already had with him that you plan to keep the baby. So now really all there is to decide is whether he’s going to be a part of its life and how,” Paige said.

I pursed my lips together. Paige was right, too.

“You two suck,” I said, dropping my head back against the couch. “You’re not helping me any in deciding what to do.”

Paige capped the nail polish and placed it on the coffee table. She moved to sit beside me, tucking her leg beneath her. Silence bloomed between us, growing more awkward by the second.

“All right, so which movie are we watching first—
Step Brothers
or
Zombieland
?” Lauren asked. She slid off the couch and started across the room.

“
Step Brothers
first and then
Zombieland
,” I said.

We were staying in for the night and instead of watching chick-flick romantic comedies like the three of us loved, we’d decided to forgo anything with sappiness or romance as the main plot.

“Even though this movie is about guys who could be my dad acting like freaking teenagers, it’s still hilarious!” Paige said.

I got up to make some popcorn before the movie started—nachos weren’t doing it for me.

“I know, right?” Lauren laughed. “Cracks me up every time!”

After putting the popcorn into the microwave, I walked over to where my phone was charging. I didn’t know why I cared to check the damn thing and see if Jason had sent me a text. I knew he hadn’t, because I hadn’t heard the thing go off. Also, we’d still never exchanged numbers. So, even if he wanted to call me or text, he couldn’t.

“Put the phone down,” Lauren shouted at me in a fake police tone. “Step away slowly.”

“I was just checking to see if it was fully charged yet,” I lied.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re about to get our laugh on, you don’t need your phone for nothing right now,” Lauren insisted.

“She’s right. Take a mental break with us,” Paige insisted. The microwave beeped. “Your popcorn is done; get your butt over here. The movie is starting.”

I rolled my eyes and let go of my phone. I’d have to check my Facebook later to see if Jason had tried to contact me there. Or maybe I’d leave him my number finally, that way when/if he wanted to call or text he could. Grabbing the bag of popcorn from the microwave, I headed back to my spot on the couch. Halfway through the movie my phone went off. I jumped up to answer it while Paige paused the movie. My sister’s name and number lit up my screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked. My voice was controlled and normal. It had to be when I talked with her or else she’d know something was wrong.

Bonnie sighed into the phone. “Hey. Nothing. I know it’s late to be calling, but I really need a favor from you.”

I glanced at the clock on the microwave. It was only a little after nine. “Okay.”

“You know that summer festival in town they always have?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s coming up soon. Brice was supposed to watch Tinley for me, but now he’s saying he’s going to go golfing with some guys from work that weekend instead. Mom can’t watch her. She’s got something with those ladies in that book club she’s part of going on the same day and I don’t have anyone else. Are you doing anything?”

“You signed up to get a table at the town festival?”

“Yeah,” she said. There was pride in her voice.

I loved that she was branching out, regardless if she didn’t have her husband’s full support. My sister was so strong. “Sure, I can watch her for you.”

“Oh my God, Blaire, you’re a lifesaver. Seriously,” Bonnie gushed. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem.” I popped another piece of popcorn in my mouth. “What is Brice’s problem? I really hope you set him straight.”

“I did.” She sighed. “We’ve been having it out all day. Honestly I’m hoping he realizes how much this means to me and decides to forgo the stupid golfing trip. If so then you’re off the hook, but I needed a backup plan.”

“Well, I’ll do it if he doesn’t. Maybe it’s time you make him though.” My blood was boiling. I hated how he treated her sometimes. He could be such an ass.

“Blaire, it’s not that simple. Maybe if you were in a relationship with kids you’d understand,” she insisted.

I bit my lip. It took everything I had to not tell her I was pregnant. “Maybe.”

“Listen, I have to go. Tinley was supposed to be in bed an hour ago, but Brice gave her chocolate ice cream and now she’s bouncing off the freaking walls.”

I laughed. “Give her a kiss for me. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.” I clicked “end call” and unplugged my phone from its charger.

“What was that about?” Paige asked.

“Nothing much. I’m watching Tinley for a Saturday while Bonnie does her table in the summer festival, because Brice decided golfing was more important than supporting his wife.” I walked back to where I’d been sitting and kicked my feet up on the coffee table.

“I have yet to meet Brice, but from what I’ve heard of him, he sounds like an ass,” Lauren said. Her words were laced with disgust.

“Yeah, you’re not missing much,” Paige muttered.

“He’s just selfish and he doesn’t treat my sister the way he should sometimes,” I said.

“If you and Jason get married and raise this kid together, you’d better make sure you train him right and don’t let him get away with selfish shit like that,” Lauren insisted.

Images of Bonnie and Brice’s relationship flashed through my mind. Dear God, I hoped we wouldn’t end up being like them. I crammed a handful of popcorn in my mouth as Paige unpaused the movie.

No, there was no way Jason and I would end up like that if we chose to raise this baby together. No way.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

JASON

It was Sunday night. My hangover from fishbowl margaritas last night was long gone and even though I’d sworn to myself when I’d woken up this morning I wouldn’t drink for a few days, I found myself craving an ice-cold beer. I’d spent my day puttering around Gramps’ house, making shit up to do. I hadn’t wanted to be around anyone all day. There was peace in solitude. Some might say I’d been brooding all day, and those people might be right, but I didn’t like to think of it that way. I was merely trying to decide what my next step in life should be now.

I was going to be a freaking dad.

The realization of what I needed to do sank in with heavy force. Now all I needed to figure out was how to tell Blaire what I wanted without sounding like a dickhead or like I felt forced into being with her because of the baby. I’d pondered all the possible angles all day until I was one-hundred percent sober and hangover free.

I imagined tone would be the first place to start. I needed to make sure my tone when talking with her was normal. Blaire wasn’t the type to be sugarcoated or sweet-talked into believing things. Then I’d have to focus on the words I chose to say. There could be no space left in the conversation for her to doubt that I wanted to do the right thing on my own accord. She couldn’t think that, because of the circumstances, I felt forced into being with her. I needed to make her believe the truth—that I’d wanted to be with her before all of this.

Running my fingers through my hair, I looked out at the lake in my grandfather’s backyard. This was the most peaceful place to think. All I could see was lush grass, tall cattails, trees, and water. There was no loud music or people screaming at each other like at my apartment.

I would hate to see this place go when it finally sold.

My cell rang. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen, knowing it wouldn’t be who I wanted to talk to—it wouldn’t be Blaire.  She was pregnant with my freaking kid and I still didn’t have her number. That was wrong on so many levels. Matt’s name and number was what I saw instead.

“What’s up?” I answered.

“Where have you been this weekend? I thought you said you were in town, dude?”

“I am.” I ran my hand over my face and extended my legs out, crossing them at the ankles. “I’ve just been busy.”

“You busy now?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Where are you? Me and Marla will come get you. You’re coming drinking with us, again.”

I grinned into the phone. “Oh really?”

“Hell yeah. Come on.”

“All right.” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. “I’m at my Gramps’ house. Swing by there.”

“See you in a few,” Matt said. He hung up before I could respond.

Cradling my phone between my palms, I hunched over and rested my elbows against my knees. Partying with Matt and Marla would definitely give me a moment to escape again. Bonus, I wouldn’t be drinking and driving myself home this time. Marla would be the D.D., I was sure. Tomorrow I would be able to think hard and chase my hangover away again while deciding the things I needed to say to put Blaire at ease and allow me to be where I was supposed to be—by her side through all of this.

* * * *

My hands slid around my fourth beer and I leaned back against the bar, feeling the counter dig into my back and press against my spine in an uncomfortable way. I didn’t move though. The fact I was sitting here, enjoying myself with a beer in my hand and Marla making bedroom eyes at me, seemed wrong in more ways than one. I should be fixing things with Blaire, we should be figuring out what we wanted to do next.

“You look like you have a shit-load on your mind, sugar,” Marla said. She twirled the skinny straw in her soda with her fingertips. “Is there anything I could be doing to take your mind off things?”

I didn’t miss the innuendo present in her words. It rang out loud and clear. “After another one of these I’ll be just fine,” I assured her, raising my beer.

Marla slid her stool closer to mine and crossed her mile-long legs slowly, drawing my attention to them. I glanced over at Matt; he was talking with some girl who had a sash around her that said
21st Fucking Birthday
. Obviously he and Marla were not an item tonight. Had it been her idea to ask what I was doing for the night? Was this a setup? If so, I wasn’t interested. In fact, it couldn’t have been worse timing—now I was going to have to reject Marla, and I already knew from previous experience with her that it wouldn’t end well when I did.

“Take another picture with me,” she demanded suddenly. It was the most random thing to come from her lips tonight.

I shook my head and took a long swig of my beer. “Nah, not right now.”

“Please?” Her bottom lip poked out just like it always used to when I’d ever attempted to deny her anything.

It made me grin. “Put that thing away. It doesn’t work on me anymore.”

Her eyes widened as though I’d just given her a challenge she gladly accepted. “Mark my words, Jason Bryant, by the end of this night, you’ll do whatever I say when my bottom lip comes out to beg.”

I stared at her. Her signature red lips had twisted themselves into a perfect little bow of a smile. “We’ll see about that…
sugar
,” I countered, mimicking her.