Breakaway (16 page)

“Nearly ran me over on my bike,” said Aislinn.

“Well, I’m fed up to here”—Erin made a slashing gesture across her throat—“with my mam thinking that if she keeps me at the B and B long enough, I’ll want to stay for good. I put an ad in the paper for domestic help, and I got a heap of responses. I’m starting to interview people this week in Crosshaven to take my place. Rory’s going to drive me there and back.”

Liam stared at her. “You have got to be shitting me.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Erin countered defensively. “He said he’ll do anything to make my life easier. That makes my life easier.”

“And that’s it, then?” Aislinn snapped a finger. “He’s forgiven?”

“He’s not forgiven. He’s nowhere near forgiven.”

“Then what are the two of you going to talk about in the car?” Aislinn asked. “Football scores?”

“I’ll listen to my iPod.”

“Oh, that’ll be comfortable,” Liam mocked. “And what’s he going to do while you interview people?”

“He can sit in the car and pick his nose for all I care. And before you say it, I don’t care if it gets around town.”

“Yes, you do,” Liam retorted.

“Old Erin did. New Erin doesn’t give a damn.”

Liam looked worried. “This doesn’t sound like you, Er.”

Aislinn nodded approvingly. “Good for you, Erin, getting your own back. Playing the chauffeur is the least that wanker can do.”

“Except that wanker wants her back,” Liam said sharply.

“Like she said, she’s not some dozy fool. She knows what she’s doing.”

Erin smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, Aislinn.”

“However…”

Erin tensed. “However what?”

“I’ve never understood why you didn’t want to give Jake a chance.”

“Why didn’t you want to give Alec a chance?” Erin shot back.

“Easy: because he’s as boring as a bar of soap. Just because they’re brothers doesn’t mean they’re alike. Jake isn’t boring. I know that for a fact.”

“I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for Jake. Not only that, but he wants to live in Ballycraig forever. One day he’ll take over his family’s farm. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not for me. Everyone has always thought that the only reason I was going to leave town was because I was marrying Rory, but they’re wrong. I’ve always wanted to go out and see the world. And I’m going to.” She hesitated. Should she tell them? They were both
looking at her expectantly. “I’m finishing up that art history degree at Open University.”

Aislinn looked intrigued. “What, the one you were taking on and off when you and Rory were together?”

“Yeah. I’m going to get my degree, and then I’m going to pick a city to live in and go.”

Liam looked wounded. “Why didn’t you tell me all this?”

“Oh, right. So you could tell your folks and it would get back to my folks? Not a chance!”

“I wouldn’t have said anything!”

Aislinn gave her husband a withering look. “You have a mouth as big as a horse’s.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yes, it is, Liam,” Erin concurred.

“How are you paying for it?” he asked.

“How do you think? With the money I saved for the wedding.”

Liam sat back in his chair, impressed. “Wow.”

“Now you’ll see why I’ve got to get my replacement up and going. Mam is going to curse me up and down, I know it. She’ll accuse me of abandoning her when I finally leave town.”

“Why?” Aislinn halted mid-chew. “She’s not even fifty-five yet.”

“I know. But sometimes she harps on about me marrying Jake and handing the B and B over to us when she’s old.”

“Talk about planning ahead,” said Liam.

“No kidding. I think she’s got the dress she wants to be buried in picked out already. It’s at the back of her closet with a note pinned to it.”

Liam sighed. “That’s something my mother would do.”

“That’s what happens when you marry an O’Brien man,” Aislinn needled Liam. “Stay married long enough, and before you know it, you start dreaming about shedding this mortal coil.”

“It’s a relief to tell you about school,” Erin admitted. “I feel like I’ve been carrying a big secret.”

“You have been,” said Liam.

“And you’re going to keep it, right?” Erin warned.

“Of course I will.”

“Don’t worry,” Aislinn promised. “He knows he’ll have to deal with me if he doesn’t.”

They all smiled.

“How was the rest of your weekend?”

Erin wasn’t in Rory’s car ten seconds before he started with the chitchat. It was a simple question. No harm in a simple answer, as long as he didn’t interrogate her all the way to Crosshaven.

“Fine.” She knew she was supposed to say, “And you?” but didn’t. Her reticence didn’t deter him.

“Do anything special?”

Erin knew he was fishing, despite his casual tone.

“Ate dinner with Liam and Aislinn. Jake was there.” She wasn’t lying: technically Jake had been there; he just wasn’t present at dinner.

“That’s nice,” Rory replied evenly. “I stayed in with Gran and suffered through watching Mass on TV.”

“Oh, God.”

“Exactly. She was asking about you,” he continued. “Said she hadn’t seen you in ages. Not for a proper chat, anyway.”

Erin battled guilt. “It’s true.”

“You should stop over sometime. If you give her fair warning, I can make sure I’m not there.”

“Thanks.” She pulled out her iPod. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Rory’s eyes were steady on the road. “Of course not.”

As it turned out, Erin was the one who minded. What an idiot she was, thinking she could ignore him sitting right beside her. The longer she tried pretending to gaze out with interest on the passing scenery and enjoy the music, the larger his presence loomed. She wondered if he knew how unnerving his proximity was to her. It was different from being at the fair with him; there she could distract herself with sights, sounds, the smell of food. But now it was just her and Rory. Alone. She stole a surreptitious glance at him. Relaxed as always, just motoring along.

Erin removed her earbuds.

“That was fast.”

“We’re nearly there, anyway.”

Rory gave her a strange look. “Look, I haven’t been here in ages and even I know that’s rubbish.”

“I’m nervous about these interviews,” Erin admitted.

“Why? They’re the ones in the hot seat, not you.”

“Yeah, but I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Do you want help?”

Erin looked at him blankly. “I’m not understanding you here.”

“I’ll help you. I can be writing down all the answers while you fire away. Then you can look at your notes later.”

“I’m not completely incompetent, you know.”

“It’s nothing to do with incompetence,” Rory interjected patiently. “It’s to do with making your life easier.”

Listen to you,
she thought,
Mr. Helpful
. But nothing about his expression or inflection rang untrue. He really was trying to do all he could for her, really was trying to atone in the hope of repairing the damage he’d done.

“How many are you interviewing?”

“Three today. I haven’t set a day for the rest yet.”

“Too bad you don’t drive. I’d let you borrow the car—after I bought you a crash helmet.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Erin said under her breath, looking out the passenger window.

“Yes, it was,” said Rory, sounding amused. “Every time you got behind the wheel, you tensed up.”

“That was because you were barking commands at me!”

“I didn’t want to die!”

Erin glowered at him. “Think what you want, but you were a terrible driving teacher.”

“I might have been a little impatient,” Rory admitted.

“A little? You snapped at me when I turned on the radio.”

Rory frowned. “Now you’re just exaggerating.”

“I most certainly am not.”

He glanced at her sideways. “Your father still won’t let you behind the wheel of his precious car, eh?”

“No. He alone is allowed to pilot his Rolls-Royce.”

Rory laughed, then casually continued, “And Jake never offered to teach you?”

“He did, but I was still recovering from the trauma of being taught by you.”

“And are you recovered?” Rory inquired.

“Maybe.”

It bugged her as Rory laughed again. She’d meant it as a dig, not a joke. Time to put her armor back on and show him that just because they’d bantered a bit, it didn’t mean they were back on any sort of road to romance. To her mind, they weren’t even pals.

Rory must have felt her coolness.

“So, after you do these interviews and hire the right one, what then?”

“Then my mother raises holy hell, talks about betrayal, and says she’s not going to employ the person. I tell her that if she doesn’t, or if she tries to make that person’s life so hellish they quit, I will leave Ballycraig immediately.”

Rory wasn’t buying it.

“You would never do that. You haven’t even told her you’re doing these interviews.”

“Because she’d make my life hell with the guilt. Better to ambush her.”

“You’ll still cave in. Admit it, love. Better to tell her all the facts, cut down on the stress. Your Achilles heel is your family. You’re always the one that has to do the right thing. They’ve drummed it into you for so long, you’ve only now just gotten a grip on it.”

“Then how do you explain the fact they were quite willing for me to move to America with you?”

“No, they weren’t. Your mother hated the prospect of me taking you away. But she wanted you to be happy, so she backed off.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m still not moving.”

“Erin, I was your ticket out of here,” Rory said, slightly smug.

“Oh, saving the life of your country girlfriend, were you?” Erin snarled. “Assuming that without you, I’d have never left. You didn’t think twice about dumping me, though, did you? So much for saving me. And PS—I didn’t need you to be my ticket out of here, you bloody jackass. Once you broke things off, I realized I didn’t need you to make my dreams come true. I actually should thank you for cutting me loose, because, in the end, it’s been a gift. Now I do what I want to do for myself, without worrying about how to please or accommodate anyone else.”

“Except your mother.”

“I’m working on that, I told you. Some of us aren’t hard-hearted: we don’t just pull the plug on those we love and walk away.”

Rory winced. “Touché.” He was quiet for a long time. “You finishing up your course?”

“Yes. That’s how I’m getting out of here. On my own.”

“Then I can’t see why your mother is putting up such a hullabaloo.”

“Because she doesn’t know. No one does except Sandra, Aislinn, Liam—and now you.”

Rory smirked. “The wonderful Jake doesn’t know?”

“I’m not discussing Jake with you, remember?”

Rory looked irritated as Erin turned to look out the passenger window, suppressing a smile.

“What’re you thinking?” he eventually asked. “About how you might be able to forgive me?”

“Dream on.”

“You’ve already started.”

Erin turned to look at him. “You’re maddening! You’re truly maddening! You always have been, with your big mouth and your ego and—”

“That’s why you hate yourself so much,” Rory cut in confidently. “Because despite my being the biggest idiot on earth, you still have real feelings for me. It’s there in the way you let down your guard so quick and chat with me. You want to hate me, but you can’t.”

“
Hate
is a strong word. I don’t
hate
anyone. Not even you.”

“Well, I do hate some things. I hate having these snatches of conversation. We need to sit down and just put it all out there. Clear the air between us.”

Erin ignored him. “We’re here. That’s the caf up there. I’ll ring you when I’m done.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any help?”

The look she gave him said it all.

“Right. Loud and clear. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

*   *   *

Erin soon overcame her nervousness. The first applicant, a Mrs. Doyle, was lovely and soft-spoken, with loads of experience. There was just one problem: she was roughly the same age as her mother, who would feel threatened despite being the boss. There was no need to ask her, “Why do you want this job?” The Irish economy was in the toilet. Jobs were hard to come by.