Breaking Elle (51 page)

Cane and Tyler left right after catching Tyler and me on the couch doing essentially nothing. From the look on Cane and Jace’s face, they weren’t buying it and at this point, I don’t care. I’m just fed up with it all. Tyler didn’t apologize since he said it didn’t mean anything, just friends he said, and for some reason his words stung. It seems like the timing in my life is off when it comes to my love life. I’m always finding myself in these awkward situations created by others. I wish I could be alone.

“I knew it!” My brother huffs indignantly.

“What?” Startled, I glance across the table at my brother who’s sitting in the living room

“I knew there was something up with Reed,” he pauses, “or should I say Landon?” He shoots me a cocky stare. “I can’t believe I missed it the first time. As soon as I heard the name Landon Hunter, I knew. He’s probably the best wide receiver in Texas A&M history to date. Teams were jumping all over him until that knee injury.” He shakes his head incredulously and stares at me, waiting for some type of reaction.

I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe Tyler told him. Why would he go and tell my brother about this? I can’t remember the last time Tyler did anything like this. He’s always been my confidant, the one person I can trust with anything. I glare at him, wanting to grab the collar of his perfectly ironed t-shirt and shove it in his mouth to shut him up. I’m so tired of people questioning Reed and his motives. Maybe that’s partially my fault, that Tyler and Jace treat me like a porcelain doll.

“What’s up with you and Mr. Tyler Hayes on the couch earlier anyway? I didn’t want to put you on the spot in front of Cane about what was going on when we walked in.” He tilts his head. “I guess Cane was right about Tyler wanting something more with you. I could tell too, but damn Elle, this love triangle shit is getting complicated. Or maybe it’s a square since you got three guys falling in love with you,” he says.

That hits a little too close to the truth. Holding my brother’s mocking gaze, I push back on the chair hard enough that it topples over, and glare at him. “It’s none of your business, Jace.” I fume. I angrily pick up the chair and grab my cell phone, not concerned about what they saw but pissed at Tyler for telling Jace about Reed. I need to know why the hell he would say anything to Jace.
Especially Jace.

Elle: Why’d you tell Jace about Reed?

Tyler: I haven’t talked to Jace. Why what’s up?

Elle: Nothing. Call u later.

Tyler: K.

Closing up the phone, I throw it on the counter and glare at my brother. I want to slap the smirk off his face. I feel awful for doubting Tyler and his allegiance to me. He’s still the only one who has proven over and over again that he’ll never hurt me.

“So, you’re forgiving him for lying to you?” he says, crossing his arms across his massive chest.

I’m listening, but I hear nothing. I turn, staring out the kitchen window, watching the raindrops slide down the glass. I wasn’t going to stand here anymore and take this. All I want to do is leave. I decide I need to take a run to get away from everyone. He didn’t lie to me. It’s not lying if I don’t ask him.
Is your name really Reed? Are you who you say you are? Do you have multiple aliases? Really?

“Why does it matter to everyone?” I mumble, turning away from the kitchen window to face him.

“Oh shit, Elle. You sound like Mom now,” he says, sliding his hands down his thighs before he gets up from the couch and enters the kitchen.

“I’m not Mom!” I try to keep my voice calm, but I can’t. Am I being like Mom and I’m just in denial?

“So, where has he been? He hasn’t been around,” he says, pinning his questioning eyes on me.

“Again, really none of your business. But he’s in Texas visiting his family.”

“Ohh… Hmm.” He chuckles. “Is that what he told you?”

“That’s more than you need to know. I don’t need this shit from you.” I frown looking at him long and hard, wondering how the hell he knows this. “How did you find out anyway? Who told you?”

“You did.” He scratches his forehead not able to meet my gaze. “The other night when Tyler was over. I overhead you guys arguing, and I heard that name and that’s all she wrote. I didn’t need anything else. I knew from day one that
Re...
I mean
Landon
...
Fuck
whatever he goes by these days... looked familiar,” he answers, looking up at me and he sees the shock and pain on my face. His eyes immediately soften. Regret devours him for saying it, but the damage has already been inflicted.

Of course. The fucking human sports encyclopedia knows everything.

“Listen, Elle, I’m not trying to be a dick. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” He takes a step forward and then hesitates.

“I find
that
hard to believe by the way you started this conversation,” I reply, staring back out the window listening to the incessant raindrops. “I can handle this on my own. I don’t need any interference from you or anybody else.” I pause. “We need to focus on Mom and not my love life right now.” I argue, searching for my backpack.
Where the hell did I leave it?
I ‘m really starting to lose my mind. “Don’t you have somewhere to go?” I accuse impatiently.

“No, no plans right now.” He steps towards me unsure of what to do. His arms go limp at his sides, watching me step away from him.

“I want to be alone, so if you’re staying, I’m leaving.” Clearly annoyed, I move towards the door.

“Where are you going? It’s raining, and it’s dark.” He creases his forehead in concern. “It’s late.”

“I don’t care. A little water isn’t going to hurt me, and the dark has never scared me. This shit is hurting and scaring me.” I motion the space between us. I give up looking for my backpack, grab my iPod and cell, and glance at him one last time before I shove open the door. I am thankful for the warm summer that caresses and cools my skin and melts my fear and anger away momentarily. Running holds more meaning to me now. Not just the physical action, but running from all the doubt, pain, and lies. I blast my iPod and head straight to the track, the only place that I can think of that I feel the safest now that Reed’s not here.

The little dude left without a trace. Gone. I should have kept a close eye on him, but what’s done is done. I’m not going to stress the inevitable anymore. I kind of want to get it over with, walk my ass to wherever so I can just turn myself in, and pay the consequence for not keeping my end of the bargain. Only problem is I don’t have a clue where to go, and I don’t know where or when it’s going to happen. All I have is that phone call from a month ago, and since then, I’ve heard nothing and seen nothing. I need to be solo and having Tommy right here with me puts him at risk, and I can’t have that. He can’t be seen with me. He needs to be here for Juju and Momma. If something happens to me, he is all they have.

Then there’s Elle. God, I fucking miss her. One thing has become crystal fucking clear. I’m not good enough for her. I need to protect her from
me.
I knew that from day one, but I couldn’t stay away from her and that was unbelievably fucking selfish of me. I had to be with her no matter what; there was something drawing me to her from the moment I saw her in the bar that first time. What the hell am I going to tell her when I get back? I can’t even think about what this is going to do to her. One of the reasons why I haven’t told her is so she didn’t have to worry. Who says that they can’t find me in Boston and then she gets caught in the middle? I can’t put her at risk either with my shit. It’s taking over every damn waking minute of my life.

“Yo, what’s with that look?” Tommy comes back shoving a large wad of cash in his faded blue jeans, grinning from ear to ear.

“Nothin’ man. Nothing.” I mutter, taking a long pull of my beer. “So, who owed you? That looks like a month’s worth of pay in your pocket.” I laugh, pushing my exchange with the tattooed ranch hand to the back of my mind. Who knows if he’s still lurking around, and if he is, he’s small enough that I can take him if I have to.

“Ahh... you remember Troy?” he says, stepping to the bar. I grin, nodding my head as Tommy starts telling me his story. “We had us a poker game about a week ago and well... ya know how poker is my bread and butter?” He grins patting the pocket of his jeans. “And, yep, this is about a month’s worth of pay. He should know better than to sit at the table with me.”

“I’m glad one of us is lucky.” I laugh at my friend, thankful that he’s not deep in shit like I am with money. I wish it were only a month’s worth of pay that I owe to people. “You want to have one more before we head out?” I ask, already waving down the bartender.

“I’m good. I’m driving tonight, so you can go ahead and drink.” He pauses and rests his elbows on the bar. “So, you met with Doc today, right?”

“Yeah,” I reply nonchalantly, grabbing the beer the bartender puts in front of me. I take a long drink. I fight back a smile knowing that I can try out and maybe play again.

“And?” He looks over at me. “Good news?” I don’t respond right away, keeping him in suspense. “Come on, man! Stop holding out on me like this!” He punches my arm,
hard
. “What did he say?”

“Damn! All right, all right!” I rub my arm, turning to him with my best poker face, trying to play it off like I got bad news, but I can’t fight the shit-eating grin anymore. “Yeah, man. I’m good to go! Doc said my knee is good as new as long as I keep on working out. Dude, I’m
gonna
play!” I breathe. Tommy is the first one to find out the great news. I finish off my beer and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’m finally gonna play,” I say and the realization hits me right when I say those words.
I’m gonna play.

“No, shit!” He pipes, slapping the bar with his hand. “We need to celebrate!” He pulls the large wad of money out of his pocket and slams a couple hundred dollar bills on the bar. “Line up some shots, bartender. My boy here is gonna be playing football!”

Too many drinks later, Tommy is helping me to his truck. All I remember are the shots of whiskey lined up on the bar, everyone patting me on the back, shaking my hand, and offering more drinks that I had to decline. My cover was blown. Tommy had to tell everyone, like the fucking president or the queen was in town. I’m too drunk to stop him. To tell the truth, I don’t give a shit anymore. Yeah, that’s probably the alcohol talking, but whatever. More than one lady approached me with their offers of some of their own celebrating, which I happily turned down, thinking of Elle. Then there was a chick wearing something that looked like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader outfit. Once Tommy saw me hitting on her, he knew I was done and was smart enough to pull me away. My night was over. I needed to sleep off this hangover.

“Dude, you need to lose some weight.” Tommy laughs as he leans me up against his truck to unlock the door. The humid Texas air blows over my sweaty skin. The collar of my shirt is strangling me, and as I pull at it, I try to catch my breath from consuming all of the alcohol and having been cooped up in the crowded bar for so long.

“Yeah,” I mumble. I still have some of my faculties left and scan the empty parking lot for that little shit at the bar.
Nobody. Nothing. Good.
Tommy pushes me into the front seat of his truck and mumbles for me to put my seatbelt on. It takes me a good minute to get it, and then I throw my head back on the seat and close my eyes to stop my head from spinning. Tommy hops in, slams the door, and guns the engine of his black Toyota 4X4 and we head out.

I’m in and out, catching flashes of light from oncoming cars as we drive to the lonely hotel that I have to endure for just one more night before going home to Elle. The pain of missing Elle slams me head on. I realize that everything else looming in front of me won’t just disappear. I know what the right thing to do is, and it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt like a bitch.

“Dude, are you all set then?” Tommy asks before he closes the door to my room.

“Yeah, man. I shouldn’t have said anything to you about playin’ again. I’m hurtin’.” I stagger to the bed, cupping my pounding head in my hands.