Breaking Free (31 page)

She couldn’t return to Hawk’s house. If he didn’t love her, wouldn’t allow himself to love her, she couldn’t stay there anymore. At least she had some place to go.

She should have seen it coming, had seen it coming that day at the hospital, she just hadn’t wanted to face it.

The elevator door opened and she stepped out into the hall. The florescent lighting overhead appeared dim as she turned left and walked down to apartment three-fourteen. Her hand shook and she shoved the key in with more force than necessary. The door swung inward and the hall light fell in a large rectangle on the floor. It touched the shiny surface of a row of picture frames on a bookcase. The pulled drapes blocked the outside streetlight’s glow. The living room stretched like a black void before her. She ran her fingers along the wall just inside the door, searching for the light switch.

Fingers grasped her wrist and jerked. A high-pitched yelp tore from her as she stumbled forward. The door slammed shut cutting off the light. She breathed in the distinct smell of latex as a gloved palm cut off her scream. Fear rocketed through her. She kicked and squealed beneath the pressure as a muscular arm held her back against a tall male body.

She clawed at the hand covering her mouth. The words
don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me
jetted through her mind in a scream. Her feet struck a piece of furniture. She braced them and pushed. The man grunted as he staggered and hit the wall. His hand dislodged for a second.

Before she could draw breath to scream, he shoved her. Zoe hit the back of a waist high chair or couch, the momentum thrusting her over it in a flip. Her cheek skidded across the fabric of the cushions. She threw up an arm to protect her head as she rolled off into the floor. Her weak leg crashed into something wood. Pain shot through the limb, stealing her breath. White spots swam in her vision. The apartment door was jerked open. The florescent bulbs in the hall speared the room with light then the door slammed shut again.

Running feet pounded in the hall, then retreated into silence.

Nausea rolled over her with a force of a tsunami. A cold sweat misted her skin and she retched, one, two, three times. Nothing came up, her stomach too empty to produce anything but dry heaves. Her leg throbbed like an abscessed tooth making every movement agony. She curled into herself and shivered in reaction.

“Please God, don’t let it be broken,” she moaned as she pushed herself up to a sitting position and leaned back against the chair she had flipped over. She swallowed as a fresh wave of nausea made her stomach pitch.

The door shook as someone pounded on it from outside. “Hello--“ A male voice came through the barrier. “Is everything all right in there?” The knob turned and the door swung open as though in slow motion. The hall lights illuminated a dark silhouette in the opening. A man.

Where was
he
when I needed him?

“Please call 911,” she said, her voice shaky and weak.

“Jesus Christ!” The light flashed on and she blinked at the familiar face. Bracing a hand on the back of the couch Bowie leaped over it and came to kneel beside her.

****

“God damn it!” Hawk flipped his cell phone shut and tossed it on the couch. Zoe’s refusal to answer hers was driving him crazy. It had been hours since she’d left. He needed to know she was all right. Needed in a stomach clenching, head pounding, throat aching bad way. A hollow feeling had settled in his chest that refused to let up. As he slumped on the couch and cradled his head in his hands, he had, for the first time in years, an urge to--no he wasn’t going there. Men didn’t go there.

His phone rang, and he snatched it. Disappointment punched through his system as he read the number on the screen. “Hello.“

“You need to get over here to Scripps Mercy,” Bowie said, his tone terse. “Zoe’s been checked out, and they’re trying to talk her into letting them admit her, but she’s determined to leave.”

Hawk leapt to his feet, every muscle tensing for action. “What’s happened? Is she hurt?”

A beat of silence followed and when Bowie spoke his tone was subdued. “Yeah, she’s hurt.”

“I’m on my way. Keep talking.” Hawk grabbed his keys from the dish in the hall, the phone pressed to his ear. He slammed the door behind him and stalked to the car. His heart beat in his ears so loud he had trouble hearing Bowie as he continued.

“Some asshole broke into Brett’s apartment. She walked in on him. He flipped her over a chair, and she hit her leg, the one that’s---you know. They’ve x-rayed it, and it’s not broken, but they still want her to stay overnight, just to be sure there’s no further damage.”

“Did she get a look at the guy?”

“No. He’d pulled all the drapes, and it was a total blackout in the apartment. The cops were there when she left in the ambulance.”

“Fuck!” Hawk backed out of the driveway. “Keep her there, I’m on my way.”

****

“You need to stay, Zoe,” Bowie said.

It was the tenth time he’d said it. Now that the pain in her leg had settled down to a dull throb, Zoe wasn’t buying it. She’d had enough of hospitals to last her a lifetime. “I hit my leg, and it’s not broken. I’ll do fine with the crutches. I’ll follow up with the doctor the ER guy recommended, and I’ll be fine.” Please God let the leg be fine.

She wiggled off the edge of the hospital bed and balanced on one foot while she looped her purse over her head to hang across her body to her hip. The strap hit the fabric burn on her cheek and she flinched. She touched it gingerly, checking the ointment the nurse had applied. “I need to get back and see what’s happening at Brett’s apartment.” She adjusted the crutches beneath her arms.

Bowie frowned. “We’re supposed to wait for you to ride down in a wheelchair.”

“I’m good to go, and I’m not waiting.”

Bowie threw up a hand in supplication. “I’m seeing a new side of you that reminds me of Cutter.”

“Is that so surprising?”

He grinned. “No.” The smile faded quickly. “Aren’t you going to call Hawk, and let him know what’s happened?”

She concentrated on putting the paperwork and pain medication the nurse had given her into her purse. “That would be redundant, since you’ve already done it.”

He rested a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I don’t know what’s gone wrong between you, but he deserved to know you were here.”

Zoe drew a deep breath as all the things she could say whipped through her mind. What happened is he stomped all over my heart. He didn’t want my love. He’s gone from wanting to let my family know we’re a couple, to telling me it was all a mistake.

“It isn’t important to anyone but me, Bowie. I don’t intend to put you in the middle. What happened between Hawk and me stays between us.” It hurt to draw breath, but her voice sounded only a little---strangled. “Now, I’d appreciate a ride to the apartment, and if that’s inconvenient, I can call a cab.”

Bowie sighed. “That won’t be necessary. I’ve got it covered.”

In her peripheral vision, she saw his hand hovering just within reach of her arm the first few swings she took with the crutches. “I’ve had years of practice with these. The only thing I don’t like to do is go down stairs.”

“Good thing they only have elevators here,” Bowie said.

“Yeah.”

They stood in front of the elevator.

Bowie snagged her arm when the door opened. “Look, Hawk is on his way. Stay just long enough for him to see for himself you’re ambulatory.”

All the things Hawk had said to her, all the pain he’d dealt her because of it, rose up to give her heart a painful squeeze. Tears blurred her vision. She concentrated on the tile beneath her feet instead. “I can’t do that, Bowie. I’m not ready to see him again, yet. Please call him and tell him not to bother coming.”

She caught the edge of the elevator door with the end of her crutch before it closed. It slid back open. She propelled herself inside.

Bowie breathed an expletive and stepped inside. “If you want him called, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”

Then he’d make an unnecessary trip. She wasn’t calling him.

When she didn’t make a move to get her cell phone from her purse, Bowie swore again. A half dozen people filtered into the conveyance from the next floor keeping him from making any comment.

The doors opened on the lobby level and they waited for the others to exit. “You at least owe him a phone call, Zoe.”

“I’m not getting into who owes who. Stay out of it, Bowie.”

She swung forward.

They caught another elevator to the parking structure attached to the hospital. “Stay here and I’ll get the car,” Bowie said. He strode up the paved incline.

Zoe’s hands gripped the crutches. The air, moist and cool enveloped her. Standing alone, an exaggerated vulnerability swept over her. The distance between the floor and ceiling appeared to narrow. Her chest constricted, and it grew difficult to breathe. Her good leg struggled to hold her weight. Delayed reaction. Anxiety. That’s all it was. She’d be okay.

The doors behind her opened and she bit back a yelp, startled by the sudden sound.

Hawk stepped out of the elevator, along with a man and woman. The couple hustled past and moved up the incline.

Relief drained Zoe’s fear away, and for a moment she continued to stare at Hawk. The need to feel his arms around her struck her with such physical longing she began to shake.

Hawk’s stare pinned her as his long strides closed the distance between them. As he crowded close, heat radiated from his body. “Come back to the house with me, Zoe.”

She turned away from the look of grave concern on his face. Her hands tightened on the crutch handles. “No thanks.” She looked up the row of cars to where Bowie had disappeared. Where was he?

“Please, Zoe. Your safety is more important than what’s happened between us.”

Nothing was more important than what had happened between them. Nothing. Every touch, every look, every word they had shared was everything. That’s what he didn’t get. “I don’t need you to protect me. I can buy locks, and guns for that. I don’t need you to provide a roof over my head. I have that covered. The one thing I needed from you, you say you can’t give me, so please--just leave.”

Hawk rested a hand on her shoulder and she jerked away.

“Zoe--I have to know you’re safe,“ Hawk said in a tone, nearly hoarse with emotion.

Pain and anger gave her the courage to look up at him. “Why would that matter to you? If you go wheels up, and you’re seven thousand miles away, will you know if I’m sick, or hurt? Will I know if you are?”

Hawk’s expression blanked for a second, then he flinched. “I promised your mom--“

“To hell with that and to hell with you!” Had her hands been free, she’d have slapped him. “And to hell with Bowie for deserting me, just so you’d have time to ambush me.” She swung around and clomped her way back to the elevator.

Bowie’s breaks squeaked as he pulled up in the car. The elevator door opened before Zoe. She got on and hit the close door button with the heel of her hand.
            

****

Hawk rubbed a hand over his forehead where a dull ache throbbed just above his eyes. He had never told Zoe about his mother’s death. But she couldn’t have hit him with anything that hurt worse. He should have been there for his mother during her illness. He should have been with her when she died. He would have been, had he known she was so ill. Why hadn’t she sent for him? Because he’d been unreachable. She had died alone. Emotions sliced and diced his insides like a bloodthirsty sushi chef.

Bowie approached him. He pulled his thoughts back to the current situation with an effort. “I’m parked out front of the hospital. She’ll catch a cab. I’ll follow her to the apartment. Can you give me a quick rundown of what happened?”

“You know Cutter’s apartment is next to mine. My date and I had just finished dinner, when we heard a crash from inside there and some strange muffled noises. When the door slammed hard enough to shake the walls, and there was the sound of running in the hallway, so I thought I’d better check it out. That’s when I found Zoe. She was down, and hurt. I was afraid to move her. Sheila, my date, called nine-one-one from the hall, and we stayed with her until the police and the ambulance came. Sheila’s still at my apartment waiting for me to get back. I asked her to stick around. I asked her to listen in on the cops and see if she could pick up on anything.”

So at least this time Bowie had an alibi. Some of the tension eased from Hawk’s shoulders. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to come up and see what she has to say myself,” he said.

“Sure.” Bowie searched his face. “Zoe has a mad on that doesn’t quit, and a stubborn streak a mile wide. The ER doctor wanted to give her a shot, but she refused it. They gave her some oral pain meds, and she’s supposed to follow up with a doctor tomorrow.”

Hawk nodded. The adrenaline rush he’d experienced after Bowie’s call had passed and his hands shook. He clenched them into fists. “I’ll see you back at the apartment building.”

Bowie nodded. “I don’t suppose she’ll give me a pass on trying to give the two of you time to work things out, will she?”

Now that he’d ended things with her, would Bowie try and make his move? And if he did, what right did Hawk have to say anything about it?