Breaking Kate: The Acceptance Series (28 page)

I feel such a weight lifted has been off of me; I can’t even begin to describe the feeling, I really feel that he loves me, and it’s been so long since I’ve felt that from him.

“I think I would like that very much. You have no idea how much stress I’ve been under, worrying about how you were going to react when I didn’t join the company. Now we need to discuss a touchy subject. I’ve been planning on paying Claire and Michael out next year for what they lost in the business. I figured five million would probably be enough, but are they financially stable now? The last talk I had with Michael was that he was under the impression they were ruined financially.”
Shit, shit, shit.
In my thoughtless state I just slipped and now he’s going to know about my trust fund.

“First of all, they are fine financially—more than fine—now that we’re getting married, and even if they weren’t they will be now. Secondly, I would never want you to use your mother’s trust money for something that I can easily make right. It’s admirable that you would want to, but you really need to let me fix things sometimes.”

“You knew about the trust?” He gives me a classic Joseph Moore patronizing look but shakes it away quickly.

“Yes, Kate, I knew about the trust. Your mother and I had our differences, but I think she underestimated my perception of her. Lila was one of the smartest, sweetest, caring women I had ever met in my life. Her passion and intelligence is what pulled me to her in the first place. I knew that there was no way she would have given me all of her money. I also knew more than anything that she would make sure you were taken care of. I let your mother slip through my fingers. Before she passed away, I was trying to figure out how to bring her back to me. My greatest regret is that she died thinking I didn’t care. Your mom will always be the one great love of my life. Claire knows it, just as I know Grant is her one true love and we accept that of each other. In our lifetimes, I believe we can love often with many people but nothing will replace the epic great love of our life. I hope that deep down your mother knew she was mine.” Before I can respond, there’s a knock at the door. I stand up and open it to see Claire Matthews standing in front of me. This isn’t the woman I remember; she is still beautiful, but her eyes look a little hollow inside. She looks as if she has aged at least ten years. Claire reaches for me and pulls me into a tight hug and starts crying. My dad clears his throat and Claire releases me, now
he’s
hugging me.

“Kate, I’m going to go get some coffee for the road and I’ll be back in a bit to get Claire. You two take your time. I have some calls to make, but I will be outside when you’re ready to leave, darling. We’ve missed too much time, Kate. I don’t want to miss any more. I’ll be in touch soon to set up a dinner for us all.” I nod at him and gesture for Claire to have a seat.

“Can I get you something to drink? Water, soda, perhaps a stiff drink?” Claire smiles up at me.

“Water would be great, Katherine, thank you.” I get us both a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Before I can say anything else, Jess and Connor come downstairs. I knew it wouldn’t be long; she has to be reeling from all of this, too. I know she’s just coming to check on me now that Claire and I are alone.

“Hey, Jess, movie over already?” Claire looks at Jess and smiles but Jess just shakes her head and ignores her.

“No, we just needed something to drink and some snacks. I didn’t realize you still had company. We’ll be quick, I promise.” Jess squeezes my hand as she walks by and Connor grabs me in a hug and spins me around, whispering in my ear, “Are you okay? Just say the word and I will kick this bitch to the curb.” I giggle, I can’t help it. I know Claire can’t hear him, but if she could she would probably pass out from anyone saying they would kick THE Claire Matthews to the curb.

“I’m fine, Connor, thank you. There’s plenty of food if you guys want to take it upstairs and eat.”

Jess grabs two forks and Connor grabs the second bag of food that was untouched and they go back upstairs.

“Sorry for the interruption. Now that they have food we should be able to talk alone. Also, if you could please call me Kate I would appreciate it. I haven’t gone by Katherine in years.” Claire nods, and I notice she’s squeezing her hands together—she’s nervous. If I were her I would be nervous, too. She treated me horribly the last time I saw her; she’s lucky I’m gracious enough to want to forgive her.

“Kate, I owe you a huge apology. I know you have no reason to accept it and forgive me, but I am truly sorry about what happened the night Grant died. I knew deep down that you were too good to have anything to do with any of what went on, but I was devastated and running on pure adrenalin that night. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. I always loved you as one of my own, and I have missed you so very much these past few years. I kept my distance, hoping you and Michael had worked things out, and figured you would contact me when you were ready. Please tell me, was my wishful thinking just that or were you able to work things out?” Closing my eyes, I take a long deep breath and let it out slowly. Part of me feels really bad for her because she has no clue what her son has been doing for the last four years, the other part of me thinks she deserves it. My tone is cool but I can feel myself softening toward her.

“No, Claire, I haven’t spoken to Michael since the morning after Grant died when he showed me the engagement ring then ripped it away from me as he cussed me out. Not for lack of trying, though. I called him often until he finally changed his number.” Claire looks very sad and I can see the tears pooling in her beautiful eyes.

“I’ve been trying to reach him, to get him to call me. I miss him so much and haven’t seen or heard from him since a few weeks after the funeral. Kate, I’m going to somehow make this right, I promise. I will earn both of your trust back and you guys can have the future that I so stupidly stole away from you. I always had a picture of beautiful grandkids in my mind, a little girl that looks like you and a little boy that would take after Michael. It’s not too late for you to have that you know; we can make this right, I swear.” I shake my head vehemently at her as it all pours out.

“No, that won’t ever happen,
can’t
ever happen. I don’t want Michael. Regardless of what you thought and said, he was his own person and he made his choice to believe I was capable of things that were completely outside of my character. Ultimately, he proved that he didn’t trust me and trust is the core of any relationship.  I’m in love with someone else that has my whole heart and then some. Daniel is my lifeline, he’s my happily ever after. I am promised to him and have no intention of ever breaking that promise.” I lift up my hand and show her my ring. She looks shocked and maybe a little defeated. I feel pity for her and I’m sad because I can tell she had an image in her head that isn’t going to be. “Look, Claire, there are only five people who know what I am about to tell you, besides myself and my physicians. I’m not telling you this story to hurt you, but maybe you can get some closure with it. Someday if you talk to Michael, I would appreciate you sending him my way so I can tell him, too. He doesn’t know and I would really appreciate being the one to tell him.” 

I proceed to tell her the story of Lila Hope, and by the time I’m done she is sobbing uncontrollably and so am I. “It’s taken me a long time to be able to finally talk to people about the accident and the things that have happened since Grant died. I’ve just recently come to accept that things happened this way for a reason, the life that I was on track to have derailed for a reason, Lila Hope died for a reason. I am finally in a place in my life with a man who loves me heart and soul. I can only hope that the reason all of this happened is because I was meant to end up with him and have a life with him.”

“Do you love him more than Michael?” Of course she would ask me that.

“I don’t love him more than
Michael, I love him
differently
than Michael. I loved Michael, and still do; we were each other’s everything for many years. Michael was my best friend and my first love. Our love was a comfortable and protective love and it’s something I will never forget as long as I live. I still want Michael in my life as a friend, and now as a brother so maybe things will be okay after all. But Claire, Daniel is my one true love. It is a passionate, all consuming, light my heart and soul on fire kind of love. I never had that with Michael, and after experiencing it I would never be able to settle for less. I need you to understand this, so I’m going to be blunt. I can honestly say had I met Daniel while I was still with Michael, I would have left Michael for Daniel. The pull between us was instant and all encompassing, and for that reason alone I’m glad I didn’t have to break Michael’s heart.”

Claire pulls me into another hug and she is still crying, but nodding all at the same time.

“Sweetheart, I have loved you since you were a girl and I have only ever wanted you to be happy. I know I lost my mind there for a while and I’m sorry. I am beyond sorry that you had to bury your precious little girl all alone; no one should ever lose a child. I hope you and Michael can find a way to be friends again but if I talk to him I won’t tell him about Lila. I don’t think I could bear it and it’s your story to tell. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to tell your father.” Claire looks so sad and defeated, but she also seems a little bit lighter than she did when she first walked into this room tonight. I take her hand in mine

“Of course, Claire.
I wouldn’t expect you to keep this from your soon-to-be husband. I’m happy for the two of you; it’s nice to see my dad happy. You of all people know how he treated me growing up and because of that you became my second family. This whole mess has caused us all to lose so much. I hope Tom Beringer burns in Hell for all that he put us through. I already promised Daniel that I would find Michael because he deserves to know about Lila and so I can get closure. If you leave me his number I can reach out to him next week.”

“Daniel wants you to contact Michael? That seems like an odd request.” Claire looks confused which is understandable. I smile at her.

“He’s one of the good guys, Claire, he really is. Daniel feels that no matter what has happened with us, Michael deserves to know about Lila. He feels it will give me the last push to finally feel okay with moving on. Daniel is also fully aware that I want Michael in my life because I truly miss our friendship. I know he’s not really happy about that part, but he knows he has nothing to worry about because my heart belongs to him.” Claire pushes back from the table and stands.

“Sounds like you found one of the good guys, indeed. Whether you are with my son or not, that is all I have ever wanted for you. I hope, with time, you and I can rekindle our bond and you can forgive me. I have really missed having you in my life. I know it’s my own fault that we missed so much time together, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give us a second chance I promise you won’t regret it.” I take in a deep breath and exhale it slowly before speaking.

“Consider yourself forgiven, Claire. Tonight has been an eye-opening night in many ways. I have never been one to hold a grudge and the timing for this reconciliation couldn’t be better. The past few weeks have been all about change and new beginnings. I am trying to get over the past and leave it there where it belongs. I’ll let you know if I talk to Michael, and I guess Daniel and I will be seeing you both soon for dinner. Have a good night and tell my dad to please drive safe.” 

“Goodnight, Kate. Thank you for seeing me. I’ll text you Michael’s number and look forward to talking to you soon. I can’t wait to meet the young man who has stolen your heart. I love you, have a good night.” With a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, she leaves looking both happy and sad.

“The coast is clear,” I say to the invisible baby monitor, letting Jess and Connor know it’s okay to come down.

“Oh my god, are you okay? What the hell just happened in here tonight? Is someone playing a joke on you? Seriously, that was some crazy-ass intense fucking shit storm that just ran through here. First, your dad being all loving? What the hell? And then the fucking ice queen herself apologizing? It
has
to be a sign of the apocalypse. Oh, and you should probably check your cell phone because we just stuck Connor’s phone up to the monitor so that Daniel could listen to everything we were. Hope you don’t mind.” Jess says that last part sheepishly, and I start digging though my purse for my phone.

“No, I don’t mind; it’s actually better that way. I’m exhausted, and if I would have had to explain that all over again to Daniel I might have actually cried. I don’t know
what
I’m thinking right now. Honestly, my head is spinning with all sorts of crazy things. Can you believe my dad and Claire are getting married and now Michael, ex love of my life, is going to be my step-brother? I bet Daniel is freaking out, oh god.” I open up my phone to a slew of messages, all from Daniel.

*It will be okay. I love you*

*Take a deep breath, it will all work out*

*I don’t know if I am happy he is going to be your brother or upset he’s going to be back in your life, but we will figure it out. I love you. *

*Baby, I’m so sorry you are going through all this without me*

*Dinner with the parents sounds interesting*

*I’m so proud of you for staying strong. I love you, gumdrop.*

*You obviously don’t have your phone, call me when you can*