Breaking Sin (7 page)

“What up Sin? Finally settle down?” He joked, nodding in John’s direction. I smiled and nodded my head.

“He’s a good guy.” I yelled over the music. Jake made a sour face.

“Sounds boring!” I smacked his arm and rolled my eyes.

“Come on guys! I thought you wanted me to get with someone?” I looked back and forth between them and they just stared at each other.

“I’m going to get us some shots. You aren’t laughing nearly hard enough at Beef.” He smiled and made his way to the bar next to John. I could see them talking and I became worried he would make John feel out of place. Jake had always been overprotective of me like a brother.

After another song had finished Jake and Beef came over carrying shots for all of us. I glanced over at John who was busy typing away on his phone.

“He didn’t want one. Fucking lightweight.” Beef said, rolling his eyes. I smacked him on the arm causing some alcohol to spill out of one of the shots. “Woah! Party foul!” He teased. Collin walked up behind me and reached around my waist, grabbing a shot and slamming it back. He looked at me, his face inches from mine and I looked ahead. The smell of his soap took me back to the nights I used to cuddle with him in his bed. His hard chest rubbed against my back and I stiffened, not wanting to relax against him. I grabbed a shot from Beef’s hands and slammed it back without blinking an eye.

“How have you been?” Collin’s breath blew warmly against my neck.

“Good” I said quietly, biting my lip.

“Good” He replied and backed away from me. I let out a deep breath and turned around to face him.

“Where’s Sam?” I asked, glancing around.

“She had to go home. Classes tomorrow” He explained. “I’m going to get another shot. You want one?” He asked, taking the shot glass from my hand. When his fingers brushed against mine, I could feel the electricity between us.

“Sure” I nodded and he headed over to the bar next to John. I watched them chat for a moment, wondering what Collin could possibly be saying to him.

“Why don’t you guys just knock this shit off already? We miss hanging out with you,” Taylor yelled in my ear. “It’s obvious you guys fucking like each other.” My cheeks burnt red.

“He doesn’t fucking like me, Tay. He fucks everything that walks but when it came to me he couldn’t even go through with it.” I stared at her hard, wishing I had not brought up the past.

“He thinks you deserve better.” She said seriously.

“That’s ridiculous.” I turned around to look over at Collin and John. Collin had his back against the bar and was looking in my direction. I smiled nervously and he grinned back.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to fight John to the death for you.” Taylor laughed. I rolled my eyes at her.

“John’s not that kind of guy.”

“He wouldn’t fight for you?” She asked and I did not have an answer. Collin patted John on the back and made his way back across the room.

“Here” he held out a shot for me and one for Taylor. “John said he needs to get home and study.” I pouted, not ready to leave just yet. “I told him I would make sure you got home safe.” He smiled in that devilish way that gave me butterflies. I shot him a dirty look as John walked over to us.

“I have to get some studying in before it gets too late.” He frowned and I nodded. “Have fun with your friends. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

“Bye John.” I smiled as he walked away.

“Bye John” My friends yelled and waved after him, making fun of me.

“He kisses you like you’re his fucking Grandma, Sin. That’s fucking hot.” Collin laughed and I jammed my elbow into his ribs causing him to choke on his shot.

“Yes, make fun of him for not fucking everything that walks.” I clenched my jaw before slamming back my drink.

“I don’t fuck everything that walks!” Collin replied, insulted. I narrowed my eyes at him. He leaned in to speak directly into my ear. “I didn’t fuck you.” I felt all of the blood leave my face at the coldness of his words.

“Not like I would have let you!” I shot back. He grinned and I could tell he had drunk away his filter.

“Please. I could have had you the first night I brought you back to my place.” His eyes were glazed and I could tell he must have started drinking long before they had gotten to the bar.

“Yea, well, you didn’t and now that’s John’s job.” My eyes burned into his and he looked livid. He moved his face practically against mine until we were breathing each other’s air. He did not say anything. He pushed passed me and I let out the breath I had not realize I had been holding. I stood in the middle of the dance floor fighting back tears as I tried to figure out what had just happened.

“Are you okay?” Taylor asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip and shook my head no.

“I’ll take you home.” She said and I followed her out of the club. Collin sat on the curb just outside the front door and he jumped up when he saw me.

“Sin!” He called after me and I walked faster after Taylor. “Sin!” He grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him.

“Oww!” I yelled, trying to pry his fingers off me.

“I didn’t mean it.” His eyes were sad and full of regret.

“Doesn’t matter” I pulled at his fingers but he did not let up.

“Hey! Let’s not do this here.” Taylor stepped in between us, staring at Collin. He nodded and his hand slowly released me. I rubbed my arm.

“Can we talk?” He looked passed Taylor at me. A tear escaped my eye and I wiped it away quickly, hoping he had not noticed.

“Maybe some other time” I said, my voice shaking. He nodded but did not say anything else.

Taylor and I rode back to the dorms in silence. When we finally pulled up, she spoke.

“So…not exactly how I saw it going.” She laughed nervously.

“Things are just too different now.” I shrugged and she nodded in agreement. “I’ll see you around.” I smiled at her as I got out of the car.

“Yea” Her voice trailed off.

I could not wait to crawl under my covers. As soon as I made it inside my room, I slid down the door, pulling my knees tight against my chest and cried. I did not even know why. I knew now that I had made the right decision to stay away from Collin. He was too much of a wild card. I thought about what he had said and the words stung all over again. I was the one who had ruined our friendship. He never wanted anything more.

Chapter Nine

The next day I was late for my first class and had forgotten my notes. When class was over I walked towards the large glass doors and I could see Collin staring back at me. I took a deep breath and walked outside, continuing past him.

“You’re up early.” I said as he walked a step behind.

“Yea, I wanted to talk to you about last night.” I turned to face him and he was running his hands though his hair.

“Don’t. I do not know what I was thinking. I guess I had a little too much to drink.” I replied, biting my lip.

“I shouldn’t have said…” His voice trailed off and he took a step closer to me. I took a step back.

“Water under the bridge” I smiled. He nodded, searching me with his bright green eyes. John walked up behind me and placed his arm around my waist, oblivious to the tension in the air.

“Hey, Collin! Fun night last night.” He grinned, looking back and forth between us.

“Yea. It was a real hoot.” Collin replied and I choked on my own laughter at his words. He grinned out of the side of his mouth. “We were thinking of going out again tonight, if you’re up for it?”

“Yea, sure.” He wrapped his arm unnaturally around my neck. “My girl and I will be there.” Collin glanced my way when John called me ‘his girl’. “Got to get to class.” John kissed me on the cheek and waved to Collin who nodded his head once.

“We’re going out again?” My stomach was doing summersaults.

“Yea, why not? John seems like a nice guy.” He stared at me, no expression on his face.

“Yea, he is.” The silence between us grew awkward for a moment. “I should get going.” He nodded again.

As soon as Collin had turned his back, I pulled out my cell phone and called Taylor.

“You’re fucking kidding me. He invited you both out?” Taylor sounded as shocked as I was. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” For once, she agreed with me. “I mean…John’s kind of boring.” I could not help but let my mouth fall open.

“He’s not boring!” I argued but I understood what she meant. He was nothing like the rest of us. He liked to stay home, he did not get in trouble, and most of all he would never hurt me. She laughed into the receiver.

“Okay, Sin. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Whatever” I hung up the phone and stalked off to my room. I decided to skip the rest of my classes and focus on what I would wear for the night. After tearing all of the clothes from my closet, I could not find a single thing to wear. I cursed myself for leaving most of my ‘clubbing’ clothes at Collin’s house. After hanging everything back up, I called a cab and made my way across town to find the perfect outfit. Shopping was one of my least favorite past times but I wanted to make sure everyone knew I still knew how to have fun. I tried on countless clothes in at least half a dozen stores before coming up with the perfect dress. A bright blue strapless dress that could barely be considered anything more than a shirt. I matched it with a new pair of black heels that I had found for half off.

I made it back to my dorm with enough time to shower and curl my hair so it hung in large soft layers around my face. I spent the little bit of time I had left doing my makeup and convincing myself that I could summon the courage to actually go out in public.

John knocked on the door a little while later. I pulled it open slowly, biting my lip as he took in my ensemble.

“Wow” he said with a nervous laugh.

“You like it?”

“Well…It is a little revealing.” I tugged at the bottom of my skirt and frowned.

“It is a little short, but the color is really beautiful, don’t you think?” He cleared his throat and thought of how to respond. “You don’t like it?” I felt my heart sink. In a matter of seconds, I went from feeling like a princess to a piece of trash. I threw my little black clutch on my bed and stalked over to my closet. I began ripping out all of my clothing onto the floor below my feet.

“Sinthia, it is fine, really. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I rolled my eyes and continued digging. He was being too nice. It made the entire situation worse.

“If you don’t like it than you don’t like it. Don’t say what you think I want to hear.” I do not know why I was being so mean to him, but at that moment I could not stand how polite and calm he was when I was about to explode.

“Sin, stop.” He placed his hand on my arm.

“Don’t call me that.” I whipped around, pulling back from his touch.

“What?” He looked genuinely offended and I immediately regretted what I had said. I wiped a stray tear from my cheek and took a deep breath.

“I just…I like it when you call me Sinthia.”

Chapter 10

By the time we made it to the club, I had smoothed things over with John. I felt incredibly guilty for being so short with him and I was not even sure why I was so upset. I had wanted a conservative and trustworthy boyfriend and that was exactly who he was. I could not blame him for not wanting me out wearing next to nothing. I glanced down at my blue dress and back to him. I should have changed. I should have not made him agree to go out like this if he was uncomfortable and I had no idea why I felt so conflicted. We ordered a round of drinks and waited by the bar for everyone else to arrive.

“You want to dance?” I asked as ‘Wild Ones’ played over the speakers. He shook his head.

“You know I don’t really like to dance.” He was practically blushing as he glanced around at the couples grinding their hips into one another on the dance floor.