Breaking The Drought (16 page)

The decision to stop this going any further rested with her. Self-control was her forte, the quality she prided herself on, but right now its merit seemed elusive. He wanted her, damn it. And she wanted him. To hell with being sensible. To hell with self-denial. For the first time ever she would trust her body's judgement.

She leaned back against the car as he pushed against her, his hands in her hair as his lips moved from her mouth to her neck and back again. She kissed him back, matching his intensity, and slid her hand up under his T-shirt. His heart was hammering beneath his smooth, muscular chest. A tug of his shirt exposed his taut, tanned stomach. Her nipples hardened against his chest as his hands moved greedily over her body. In one swift movement he pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside.

She put her hand against his chest and pushed him backwards, creating a space between them. His forehead momentarily creased in confusion, but as she slowly began to peel off her singlet top an appreciative smile settled on his face.

For a moment they stood apart, not touching.

‘My God you are beautiful. I want you so much.' Luke's voice was raspy, thick with desire.

Her response took her by surprise. ‘Take me, then. I'm yours.' The words were true. Despite all her attempts to remain impassive, Luke had stolen her heart. Relinquishing control felt surprisingly good.

Her hands reached behind her and released the clasp of her bra. She let it fall to the ground and stood still for a moment as she basked in Luke's appreciative gaze, before stepping forward and pressing herself against him once again.

‘Wait,' he said, his voice coming out thick and raw. ‘Not here. Let me get the picnic rug and put it under the trees.'

She nodded her approval. ‘Hurry.'

He didn't need to be told twice. Moments later the rug was spread beneath an ancient gum tree and the two of them lay entwined upon it. He covered one breast with his hand, gently grazing her taut nipple with his palm as his mouth sought out her other breast. Her breath caught in her throat as he took her in his mouth, sucking gently at first, then more insistently. As he began to flick her rock-hard nipple with his tongue she cried out with pleasure.

Jenna's hand went to his zipper. In seconds she'd undone his jeans and slipped her hand beneath the elastic of his boxer shorts to release him. As her hand encased him and moved slowly down his rock-hard shaft he let out a low groan. He tugged his jeans and underwear off and rolled Jenna onto her back. She parted her legs and wrapped them around his hips, drawing him towards her.

‘Hey beautiful, not so fast.' He moved onto his side and trailed his fingers gently along the inside of her thigh before sliding his hand between her legs on his way to the waistband of her shorts. He yanked at the clasp clumsily, Jenna laughing at his awkward attempt to free her from her clothes.

‘Let me,' she said, and he momentarily lifted his hand to allow her to remove them. Now all that lay between them was a pair of pink lace panties. He placed his hand on her again and she gasped at his touch, pressing herself against his fingers through the damp satin. The smooth fabric moving over her mound made her quiver with desire. She parted her legs and thrust herself against his hand as she reached for his cock. His low moan signalled his pleasure.

She could feel her breath coming quickly as the heat between her legs increased. The familiar feelings of her imminent orgasm began to intensify. ‘I think I'm going to — '

Luke's hand stopped stroking and he kissed her softly. ‘Not yet,' he whispered.

As her hands moved over his hard torso, she fought the desire to wrap her legs around his waist and draw him to her. She wanted him inside her, filling her, completing her. But Luke was right to slow things down. She too wanted this feeling to last as long as possible.

His mouth began to move slowly down her body, trailing soft kisses from her neck to her breasts and down onto her stomach.

A knot of panic formed in her belly. Surely he wasn't going to…

His lips moved down to her pubic bone.

No!

‘Luke, stop. I can't… I've never…'

He raised his head. ‘You've never let a man go down on you?'

She shook her head. ‘I can't. It just seems so…intimate.'

He smiled. ‘Do you trust me, Jenna?'

Did she? How could she answer that question? In truth she barely knew him, but her gut instincts told her he was a good man. All the evidence pointed to it, too. His dedication to Maggie, his desire to always do the honourable thing even when it was difficult, showed he was a man who was true to his word.

‘I want to trust you, but…'

‘Would it help if I told you that I haven't been with a woman for a very long time? You're the first since…in a long time. I feel like I've been in a coma for the past six months. I've felt nothing, wanted no one. Then you came along and suddenly I'm alive again.

‘Jenna, I don't want to do anything you are not comfortable with, but I want you to feel how good it can be when two people really…care about each other. I want to give this to you. I promise I'll stop if it's too much, if you don't like it.'

She hesitated. She knew this was supposed to be every woman's fantasy, having a man pleasure her with his tongue. She didn't think of herself as a prude, but somehow the idea of a man burying himself in her most intimate parts felt too revealing, too much like she was giving a part of herself away. She'd never let any of her other lovers pleasure her like that. Not that any of them had ever really seemed to care; in fact Simon had never even bothered to try.

Luke cared about her. His actions as much as his words told her that. When she'd kissed him today she'd made up her mind to abandon herself to him, to this overpowering desire between them. Letting go of her tightly-held control was working out pretty well so far, but what if she repulsed him? Or she didn't like it?

She took a deep breath. Saying yes was giving Luke permission to access her most private self. Suddenly she realised that she wanted him to have that. She gave a tentative nod.

‘Relax,' he said. ‘I'll take it slowly.'

She lay back on the rug, feeling tense and exposed as Luke peeled off her underwear. He gently stroked her with his fingers until she was pulsing with desire once more. He lowered his head and began to trace the top of her pubic hair with kisses, his fingers gently probing and stroking as he did. Slowly he removed his hand and began to move lower with his mouth, soft butterfly kisses tantalising her skin as he edged closer to the peak of her intimate folds. Then she felt the light touch of his tongue gently prising her open.

She could hear herself moaning and yet the noise seemed to come from somewhere else, somewhere far away. He'd found the peak of her desire, his tongue lightly stroking her until she could stand it no more. This time her climax was unstoppable.

Her hands went to his head and she raised herself to him, pushing herself hard against his mouth. His tongue darted inside her and suddenly she was rising and falling, spinning and flying. Her breaths came hard and fast before the world went black and there was nothing and everything all at once.

When her breathing had calmed, he began to gently trail his fingers over her body again. At first his touch made her tremble, it was almost too much to bear. Sated and dreamy, she wanted no more. But soon his tender caresses caused her breath to quicken and her pulse to throb once more. Now there was no question of slowing down. His touch became more urgent, more insistent, until she finally parted her legs and drew him to her.

‘Do you have protection?' she breathed.

‘What?'

‘A condom. We can't…'

Luke pulled back slightly. ‘Oh hell, you have me so turned on I almost forgot.'

‘Well?'

‘Hang on a minute.' He fumbled around for his jeans, eventually pulling his wallet from the back pocket. He grinned as he pulled a foil packet from one of the wallet's compartments. ‘Is this what you're after?'

Jenna snatched the packet from him without answering. She tore it open and slid the condom on expertly, smiling at Luke's moan of approval.

‘I need you, Jenna,' he said as their bodies melded into one.

Each thrust took her higher than she could ever have imagined. She pressed against him, desperate to be fused with him, to be filled entirely. Incredibly she was soaring again, this climax even more intense than the first. How was this even possible? Never before…

Luke's guttural groan brought a smile to her face. He collapsed on top of her and they lay happily meshed together.

Luke was not sorry. This past week he'd done his best to avoid a physical encounter with Jenna and now for the life of him he couldn't think why. How could he regret something so raw and beautiful, so perfect?

He propped himself up on one elbow and traced a finger along her jawline. She opened her eyes and looked up at him with dreamy eyes. ‘Happy?' he asked.

She answered him with a smile. ‘Very,' she said. ‘And you?'

He grinned, unable to contain his exuberance. ‘I can't remember the last time I felt so good.' He looked around for his boxer shorts. Despite having just done the most intimate things possible, being naked together in the midday sun felt kind of awkward. He gathered up his clothes and began to dress. Jenna followed suit, shimmying into her shorts. God, she was even sexy putting her clothes back on.

He nodded towards the Volkswagen. ‘I think your top's over near the car. I'll grab it and get the picnic basket at the same time. I don't know about you but I'm famished.'

Jenna laughed. ‘I guess I could eat.'

By the time Jenna was fully dressed he'd laid the full feast out on the picnic rug, including the napkins Maggie had so thoughtfully provided. Jenna sat beside him on the rug and for a while neither of them spoke. After he'd eaten his fill, Luke lay back on the rug, one hand behind his head, the other outstretched towards her.

This.

This was the memory he would go to when things got tough. Right at this moment things were perfect. He was completely satisfied.

It was more than he deserved.

Jenna lay down beside Luke, resting her head on his shoulder. His arm encircled her and she felt perfectly at ease, like there was nowhere else on earth she should be.

Now she understood. This was why Brooke and the girls in the office laughed at her list. Love couldn't be tamed, whipped into shape with a set of criteria. She'd been a fool to think otherwise. Luke had asked her before if she was happy. The word seemed inadequate to describe how she felt. She felt elated, joyous and every other word the thesaurus cared to throw at her. It was as if she'd only half lived until this moment, as if she'd been missing some of the senses essential for a full life.

‘I love you, Luke.' The words tumbled out before she could stop them.

He retracted his hand and sat up, disengaging his body from hers. ‘Jenna, you knew what this was. It was amazing, beautiful even, but it doesn't change things.'

Her heart began to palpitate. What was he saying? That this was just sex? He'd told her intimate things about himself. Asked her to trust him. And she had. Surely that meant something? She sat up and looked him in the eyes. ‘I don't understand.'

Luke held her gaze. ‘You're beautiful, Jenna. The most amazing woman I've ever met. From the minute you stepped out of the car wearing those ridiculous shoes I've felt drawn to you. When I'm with you I forget everything that's happened and I feel alive again.' He paused and gently took her hand. ‘I'm sorry but there's no way this can be anything more than what it is right now. You know I'm not free to leave here. I could never ask you to move here, it wouldn't be fair. Let's just savour what we have right now.'

‘Don't you see? I've been wrong all along. Being here with you like this has made me see what's important. It's not my job, not where I live or any of that. It's you, Luke. Us. We make sense together and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make that happen.'

He shook his head. ‘It can't happen. I'm sorry if I led you to believe otherwise but it's not possible.'

She snatched her hand away and folded her arms across her chest, suddenly feeling very exposed. ‘Anything is possible if you want it badly enough.'

‘Not this. I have the farm and Maggie and I can't…'

‘I don't understand. I thought you cared about me. I thought it was just your situation that was preventing you from taking this further. I don't care if I have to live here. I don't care about sharing you with Maggie. I want to be with you, Luke. It's as simple as that.'

He leaned over and took her hand. ‘If only it was. Jenna, I — '

‘What? You'll always care about me? You'll treasure this moment forever? Save it, Luke. I don't need your crappy platitudes. You got what you wanted from me and now it's over. I get it.'

‘It's not like that at all. I wish it could be different. If you only knew… I'm no good for you, Jenna. I can't give you what you need.'

Jenna knew one thing. She'd just made the biggest mistake of her life. He was just like all the rest of them. How could she have been so stupid?

She'd convinced herself that this time it would be different, that Luke cared enough about her to make her the centre of his life. But of course, she was wrong. She should've known from experience not to trust her instincts where love was concerned. Every time she weakened, and gave into her heart, disaster followed.

What was wrong with her?

Was she completely unlovable?

Fighting back tears she retrieved her shoes and slipped them on. She ran to the car only remembering Maggie's basket once she was already inside. It was too bad. There was no way she was getting back out of the car to face Luke again.