Breaking Through (Book 2 of the SEAL TEAM Heartbreakers) (32 page)

The patient love she’d seen in his face as he looked at his son, the tenderness and humor she’d read in his eyes when he looked at her, suddenly came to mind to chase the nerves away. It was going to be okay. She loved him.

It had been so long since a man had touched her. Russell’s hands running over her skin felt like something new and wonderful. She wanted to laugh with the joy of it and weep for all the barren years she’d waited. Why could she not have found him sooner?

Russell’s fingers tugged the sweater upward, and she pulled it over her head. He guided the strap of her bra down her shoulder and followed it with his lips. “Your breasts are beautiful. I had to keep myself from staring at them that day at the airport.”

She unhooked her bra and nearly groaned aloud when he paused to caress each one before lowering his lips to her nipple. The texture of his tongue, the warmth of his mouth as he sucked, sent ripples of pleasure arrowing down her body and her hips rose in response. Her breathing grew choppy and her hands ran over the width of his shoulders in a caress. The shape and size of him was both familiar and strange, and oh, so dear. When his lips came back to hers, she caressed the sturdy strength of his chest and felt the coarseness of the hair there against her skin. The thrust of his arousal pressed against her hip and she ran her fingertips down the length of him through the briefs. He thrust against her touch and groaned her name, his tone husky.

When he peeled her panties down, she wiggled free without hesitation. He ran his palm over her hip and down her thigh then back up, his exploration slow and thorough. As he stroked and caressed the inside of her legs, need clawed at her and she rolled her hips, encouraging his touch. At the first careful, intimate brush of his fingertips, she caught her breath. He tempted and teased her with the circling movement of his finger until her hips rocked with need. His name broke from her.

He rolled away to strip off his briefs and reached for the drawer. Seconds seemed like eons as he ripped open the condom and covered himself. When he turned back, she opened her arms and her thighs to welcome him.

The careful way he balanced atop her, the easy way he thrust so slowly inside her, gave her heart a squeeze. His eyes swept her features, his expression filled with tender passion. “I’ve wanted you so much, Clara.” She cupped his face and drew his lips back to hers.

And after a small pause, Russell captured a rhythm, edgy with pent-up need. She welcomed the push and drag of his body moving in and out of hers. Her breathing grew ragged as the firm thrust of his erection swept that sweet spot just inside her again and again. At the swelling throb of his release, her pleasure spiked, stealing the strength from her limbs, and she clung to him as the orgasm tumbled through her.

When she opened her eyes, he was smiling down at her, his hazel eyes alight with amusement and satisfaction. “How long has it been?” he asked.

“Almost six years.”

Surprise rocketed across his features. “Dear God!” He kissed her.

CHAPTER 26

Hawk wandered down the hall to physical therapy wing. A plastic smell like the mats in a training room grew stronger the farther down the hall he progressed.

He’d wanted to see Zoe before visiting Brett, but he’d taken pity on a fellow teammate and dropped the news on him as soon as he’d hit town. Captain Morrow had a copy of the transmission between HQ and the security detail. According to the tape, they’d delivered the kid, and then bugged out back to base.

Morrow had sent NCIS a copy of both the transcript and the tape on the first stateside-bound transport. It would arrive in a few days. Knowing NCIS’s reputation, the tape wouldn’t completely clear Brett, but it was a start.

And now he was going to see his girl, even if it was just for a minute between patients. He lengthened his strid,e and excitement brought a surge in his heart rate and his temperature. He’d missed her every day and every night of the three weeks he’d been gone.

A woman passed him the hall and paused. “May I help you?” she asked.

“I’m looking for Zoe Weaver. She’s a physical therapist here.”

The woman’s eyes ran down over his brown t-shirt and desert cammies, all the way to his boots. The come-on registered only long enough for him to frown. Not interested.

“And you are?” she asked

Her boyfriend. Her partner. Her lover. Her man. It was growing more awkward for him each time someone asked. Zoe deserved to be a wife. He wanted to be a husband. So, why wasn’t he remedying that situation? 

“I’m Adam Yazzie, her boyfriend. I’ve been gone three weeks on a training op and just wanted to see her.”

The woman’s attitude changed from scoping him out to being helpful. “She’s with a patient, but I’ll slip into the room and tell her you’re here. You can go down to the lounge and get a cup of coffee while you wait. It’s just three doors down and to the right.”

“Thanks.” A patient with an artificial arm fitted at the elbow walked by and saluted him with his hook. Their eyes met for a moment and Hawk returned the salute.
By the grace of God.
Hawk was reminded every day how lucky he was. He wandered down the hall to a room with a kitchen, a small table and chairs, and a television mounted high on the wall in one corner. The smell of fresh coffee permeated the room He leaned against the counter uninterested. All he wanted was to see Zoe and hold her.

Five minutes passed and he was reading the same poster about the stages of grief for the tenth time when Zoe rushed in. For a split second they just looked at one another, and then they were in each other’s arms. Zoe’s head pressed against his chest and her arms clung tight around his waist, her breasts pushing into his ribs. He breathed in her vanilla scent. Vanilla and her. God knew what he smelled like after riding from Miramar to base in the back of a truck. Maybe he should have stopped to shower. He ran his hand down her back to her waist with one hand while he cupped her head with the other and tangled his fingers in her ponytail.

When she finally leaned back to look up at him and smiled, his mouth found hers. Her lips parted and their tongues tangled. The kiss went on and on as they tried to make up for three weeks of separation.

When he finally raised his head, her voice came wispy with emotion. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Hawk cupped her face with both of his hands and just studied each feature. He’d never known he was capable of loving anyone as completely as he loved her. “The words ‘me, too’ don’t even scratch the surface.”

Her dark blue eyes looked even darker since the kiss. He took her lips again, this time with all the tenderness that rose inside him.

“You can’t keep looking at me like that, kissing me like that. You’re either going to make me cry or we’re going to have to find a storage closet somewhere,” she said, her laugh shaky.

“There’s an idea. What time do you get off?”

A grin curved her lips. “As soon as I get home, I hope.” 

The erection he’d tried to control was instantly at full mast. “That’s a promise, sweetheart.” He kissed her again, then grew serious. “I need to know what time to be back here so I can ride home with you.”

He hated watching the teasing light go out of her eyes.

“It’s just a precaution, Zoe.” A well-founded precaution. Did the asshole who’d shot Brett know about Zoe. Where she lived? Where she worked? Did he know where Clara was staying?

“Have you been home yet?” she asked.

“No.”

“There’s a policeman standing guard at the house. He’ll want to see your ID. Mom’s there with the alarm on.”

“Good.”

“So, you think the man may know where she is?” she asked, her voice rising with alarm.

Hawk kept his voice moderate. “We don’t know that, Zoe. But it doesn’t hurt to take precautions.” He sighed inwardly. “I want to stick around and have lunch with you.”

“I’d love it. But I don’t get a break for an hour. And I’d feel better if you were home with Mom. If you don’t mind.”

“No problem.”

“Do you really think this guy may be after Brett?”

“Brett believes he was targeted, and he and your mother were the only two the shooter went after.”

“But why Brett?”

Shit.
He hated keeping Zoe in the dark. But it wasn’t his secret to tell, and even if it were, he was bound by his oath and couldn’t say. “I don’t know, Zoe. We were in Iraq for seven months and dealt with a lot of bad guys while we were there. This one may or may not have a tie to a mission. We don’t know for sure.” And now that NCIS and all the other agencies were involved, they probably wouldn’t know if this guy was tied to one of their missions, until somebody was on a slab. That possibility had him and all the other guys in the team on high alert.

She glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed. “I have to go.” She pressed close against him again.

Hawk tightened his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head. “What time do you finish up here? I’ll have one of the guys drop me by and I’ll ride home with you.”

“Five o’clock.” 

He kissed her again, and despite the tension their discussion had triggered, the taste and feel of her lips beneath his sparked a desire for more. He released her reluctantly. “It’s going to be okay, Zoe.”

 She nodded. “But it sure would be nice to go more than a few months without some kind of crisis.”

Amen to that.

He walked her down the hall to the PT room she was using. “I’ll be back at five. Wait here for me. I don’t want you walking to the car alone.”

“Okay.”

Aware of people in the hall around them, he bent his head and kissed her hand instead of her lips. “I’m really glad to be home, Zoe.”

Her smile was something special, and her voice softened so only he could hear her reply. “I’ll show you how glad I am to have you home later.”

“I’m up for that, sweetheart.” He gave her hand one last squeeze and strode down the hall.

***

She sighed as Hawk disappeared around a bend in the hall. As much as she liked her job, there was something to be said for not working. Like not having to postpone their intimate homecoming celebration. Until now, they’d only been separated a few days at a time since she’d moved into his house permanently, and each of the other homecomings had been memorable.

In fact, the last celebration had probably been when she’d conceived. And just when was she going to surprise him with that bit of news? She’d hoped he’d pop the question before she had to, but with his training rotations coming with shorter periods in between, there had been little time for them to focus on anything so serious. She’d hoped he’d want to ask her without the push of a pregnancy forcing his timing.

And time was flying biologically speaking. By her, and her doctor’s, estimation she was eight weeks and sprinting toward her first trimester. The only change she’d noticed other than morning sickness was her breasts were tender and her nipples were turning a darker color. Would Hawk notice that one small thing? God, he noticed everything. She had to tell him.

Seeing Corporal Crowes waiting for her in the room, she shut her thoughts away. She had to focus on his problems right now.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Crowes asked from his seat on the four-inch thick platform they used as an exercise bed for patients with more than one amputation.

“Yes.”

“He’s Native American?”

“Yes, Navaho. His grandfather was a code talker in World War II.”

“Cool. You said he’s in the Navy, but he was dressed in desert cammies.”

Zoe remained silent. Special Ops girlfriends and wives didn’t spread the word about what their guys did. She’d learned that from watching Trish, not anything Hawk or Brett had said.

“How’s your stump feeling?” she asked. “Not tender or sore anywhere is it?”

“It’s good. I keep a close check on it like you and the doc said.”

“Good. You want to stay as mobile as possible and keeping your leg healthy is a major part of that.

“He’s a SEAL, isn’t he?”

“I’d rather not talk about what he does.” She attempted to change the subject by throwing attention onto him. “Are you growing a beard?” She studied the whiskers on his chin.

“Okay.” He paused for a moment. “I understand. You’re just trying to protect your guy.”

The tension in Zoe’s body relaxed. “Thank you.” She offered him a smile.

He rubbed his hand over the unshaven spot on his chin. “I thought I might grow a goatee. No one’s going to bust my chops about facial hair now. Hell, I might even get a tattoo and a motorcycle.” There was an edge to his voice, a recklessness. He suddenly switched topics. “Anyone can tell. Those guys have a way of moving, a kind of aura that just sets them apart. We had a SEAL sniper that worked with our platoon. He never missed.”

Zoe hated to dampen his enthusiasm, but she wasn’t talking about Hawk to him. Something had happened to set Cal off. “Cal, we need to concentrate on you. As for the bike, I’d take it one step at a time,” Zoe said. “There’s no reason why you can’t do those things, but a tattoo is a very permanent thing, and I’d give it a great deal of thought before I marked my body with something that can’t be removed.”

His expression darkened. “Like this.” He raised his leg thrusting the prosthetic out.

If he’d hoped to shock her, he’d missed the mark. She’d seen and heard far worse. “Why don’t you tell me what’s happened? You’re angry as hell, and I promise not to spout that stuff counselors and psychologists say about the stages of grief. You’ve probably already heard all of it. Did you just get up angry today, or did something happen to set you off? ”

“It’s my mom. She treats me like a fu-freakin’ invalid. She’s constantly doing things for me. Telling me to sit down and rest my leg. I don’t want to rest my leg. I freakin’ want to just —hell I want to go out trollin’ for girls. And party with my buds.”

“There’s no reason why you can’t do that.”

“I think the guys think this—” he gestured at his leg, “will put off the girls.”

“Or maybe they’re afraid it will give you an unfair advantage. You’re a hero, Cal. You sacrificed your leg for your country. You were prepared to sacrifice your life. Women admire warriors. And just because your girlfriend couldn’t handle it, doesn’t mean other women will feel the same way. You need to cut yourself some slack and stop cutting your
buds
any.”