Breath of Heaven (21 page)

“That was desire,” he whispered. As her senses returned, she heard Llyr barking, but she did not care why. Something much more important pulled at her.

“More,” she gasped. She was empty and needed to be filled. She felt his hardness beneath her. He still wore his chausses and she pushed them down, freeing him. His breath caught and she took him in her hand. His head fell against hers. “Fill me, Rhys. Fill me with desire.”

She was boneless as he pushed her back, yet she managed to twist her legs around his hips when he raised himself on his arms over her. “This time will be different,” he said. “There will be pleasure.”

She knew it as surely as she breathed. He slid inside her, so very slowly, until he was buried deep inside. She felt her passage mold around him.
Yes…this is…Rhys
…Felt the size of him and the power that he held back because he still feared hurting her or the babe.
This is desire. This filling of one’s body and soul.
He propped his upper body on his elbows, put his hands in her hair, and gazed down at her with his soul plainly showing on his face.

“This is what I wanted to give you on our wedding night. This pleasure.”

She moved her hips, adjusting her body to the feel of him, to his weight, to the fullness, and he closed his eyes, every muscle of his body drawn taut.

“Show me, Rhys,” she said. “Show me before I die of want.”

He smiled and opened his eyes. “You are greedy, wife.” He pulled out, teasing her, and she gripped him tighter with her legs, showing him the strength born from years of riding.

“Only for my husband, who has been most selfish.”

He plunged back into her once more and she gasped, her eyes widening as he filled her even more. He moved and she found his rhythm. Once more she felt the pressure she’d known before, the reaching, and the wanting. She arched toward it, seeing it, feeling it build with each thrust as he moved against her, faster and faster. She kept her eyes on his face, marveling at the intensity of his gaze, and at the fire that burned in his dark eyes. Then his focus went beyond her, to a point far away, and she saw what he saw, joined him in reaching for it. She felt her bones turn to ash once more as he carried her into the sky.

R
hys put both hands on her stomach and held his breath. Eliane said the babe moved when she was still and he wanted to feel it. He still could not wrap his mind around the truth. Their first time together he’d put a babe inside her. He wished the child was a result of today’s union, but he was not one to question God’s handiwork. The fact that she was breeding would surely be enough for the king to give his blessing to their union. Renauld would be gone from their lives forever.

How did Eliane feel about the babe? Did she welcome it? Or would she feel as his mother had, that she was trapped? He would need to watch her carefully for any sign of sadness or anger, anything that would indicate she was the same as his mother. He could only pray she would not seek death as his mother had. He would do everything in his power to stop such a thing.

This would worry him every day he was gone. It would gnaw at his insides in the same way Edward’s illness had gnawed at him. Killing him on the inside. Rhys de Remy, who gave not a thought to anything outside of his control, would be in constant agony over his wife’s pregnancy.

He looked at her face, so beautiful, and saw peace within her emerald eyes. She glowed. His conceit said it was because of the hour just past but he knew better. She glowed because the babe grew inside her. He felt
it then…a flutter, as if a butterfly had landed on his palm. He looked at her stomach, then back at Eliane and the smile that lit her face.

“How did you know that we would not hurt her?” It had to be a girl that grew inside her womb. It was the way of the women of Aubregate to breed only daughters.
My daughter
…

“Lydia assured me it would be safe.”

He was surprised. “You talked to Lydia about this?”

“Lydia is the one who told me I was breeding.” Her skin turned as fiery as her hair. Rhys laughed when she began worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. She cuffed his head. “Do not laugh at me. I wanted to know…how to please you…since the first time was…” She turned away. The shame he’d felt at his actions on their wedding night came flooding back. He should have found another way and waited until she was ready. Yet if he had, it would have been easy for Henry to put aside their vows. The fact that she was bearing his child was the only reason the king would allow them to remain together.

He placed a hand on her chin and turned her face back to him. “You have done nothing but please me Eliane.” Her emerald eyes stared up at him, but he was not sure of their expression. Was it hope? “Since the first time I saw you in the forest, I wanted you. I hate that I caused you so much pain when you were grieving for your father, but it was the only way.”

“You put me aside because of your guilt over our wedding night?” She sat up and pulled the sheet around her naked body, once more becoming the warrior woman of the forest. Her anger flashed in her eyes.

“Eliane…” He pulled her into his arms, yet she remained stiff and unyielding. “I never put you aside.” He kissed the top of her tousled hair. “Do not think such thoughts.” It was hard being a husband, treading carefully lest you close off the very thing you sought to open. “I have ached for you every single moment since we met. I did not want to frighten you or force you again.”

She softened and leaned her head back against his arm to see him better. “Is that why you have not shared my bed?”

He smiled at her. Took her hand in his and put it between his legs. “Do you feel that? Already it swells from want. It seems that my cock has a mind of its own where you are concerned. Sometimes it does the thinking for both of us. I always wanted you, but I wanted you to enjoy it also.”

Eliane grabbed hold of his cock, and he grunted as she tightened her grip slighty. “Be careful, husband, that this does not lead you astray. I do not mean to share you with anyone.”

He gritted his teeth and took her hand away. She raised an eyebrow, taunting him. “Why would I search elsewhere when everything I desire is right here in my arms?”

“Truly?”

He pushed her back onto the bed once more.
Mine
…“Truly,” he said, and showed her the strength of his desire.

She fell asleep soon after as she did most afternoons. The babe tired her. He watched her sleep, enjoyed the rise and fall of her breasts, her soft sigh as
she turned toward him. He felt the press of her belly against him and held perfectly still at the chance that there would be movement within her womb.

The afternoon sun danced across the bed and turned her hair into molten copper. It was everywhere, twisted about her arm and her waist and spread upon the pillows. He lifted a long tendril, rubbed it between his fingers, and inhaled. As always, the scent took him back to the forest and the first time he saw her. When they returned to Aubregate and the babe was born, he would take her to the forest and make love to her beneath the dancing trees.

Make love…Now I understand why it is considered so. This thing we have, it is more than sex. With the others it was a way to seek a pleasurable release, but with her…with Eliane…

Rhys sat up, quickly, quietly. He moved to the doors that opened onto the balcony. He cared not that he was naked. None could see him. He sucked in the warm air and gripped the balustrade with both hands.

Is this love?
He put a hand over his heart. Surely it would break into a thousand pieces if he lost her. He looked over his shoulder at Eliane. A frown creased her forehead and she turned away from him, giving him a view of her spine and the curve of her buttocks as they disappeared beneath the sheet.

Was this what his father had felt as he watched his mother sleep? Did he wonder about the child and the future and his ability to provide and protect? Did he worry that she did not love him back, because he’d forced her into marriage after he forced his way into her bed? Did his heart shatter that day she jumped from the tower window and left both of
them behind? Was this why he chose death over life with his son?

His hand moved to the tiny silver cross. He held it between his fingers. Prayed.
God, spare us that pain…spare this child…my daughter
…

Eliane wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her cheek against his spine. “You are cold,” she said. “What is it?”

Rhys turned, gathered her into his arms. “ ’Tis nothing,” he said. “The wind…” There was none, but she did not seem to notice.

“I am hungry.” Her face was almost on a level with his. Her eyes were right at his nose, so she leaned back a bit. “Starving actually. Your daughter wants food. And I want a bath. Can you make it so, husband?”

“I can.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “All that you desire and more.”

“My desire is right here. I found it at last.” She went to the bed once more and pulled the sheets over herself. Rhys found his chausses and she studied him as he pulled them on.

“Is something amiss?”

“Nay, husband,” she said. “I was thinking how convenient it would be if you were to give up your chamber and move in here with me.”

It had been his intention, but he loved to tease her. “Convenient for whom?”

“You, milord.” She stretched a long, lissome leg out from beneath the sheet and drew it back as if he were a fish and she held the line. “As this is where your dreams seem to bring you.”

“You knew I watched you at night?”

“I did,” she admitted. “There were times when I
wanted to ask you why, but I was afraid of the anger that stood between us.”

“It stands between us no more. ’Twas a wall that came down with a mighty crash and is gone.”

“Oh…” Her eyes widened in her face and her face turned the color of her hair. “Oh no…” Eliane slid beneath the sheets, turned her back to him, and covered her head.

“What it is?” Rhys went to her side and put a hand on her hip. He could not lose her again. Not when they had just discovered what they could share.

“I screamed.” Her voice was muffled beneath the sheet. “The servants must have heard me. I am certain all of London heard me.” She moaned her despair. “How will I ever be able to look at Cedric or Mathias or even Khati again?”

“I’m fairly certain they knew what we were about when I carried you up the stairs.”

“Rhys…” she moaned again.

“Eliane. They are more than likely celebrating now. Servants know more about things than they let on. And while it is not their place to give us advice, they do what they can to make things better.”

“But I screamed.”

“Which means I pleased you well.” He slapped her hip with the palm of his hand. “I took it as a compliment.”

She flipped the sheets off and bounced upward. She grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “Instead of a compliment, see it as a challenge.” Her emerald eyes dazzled him. “What must you do now to please me better?”

He had thought his body too weary for more after two bouts of lovemaking. Yet his cock jerked upward at
her words. “I am certain I will be able to think of something.”

“Not until I’ve had a bath.”

The former owner of the house was a portly man who’d indulged in many luxuries, one of them being a rather large copper tub for bathing. It was big enough for the two of them. He had never imagined that one of the benefits of marriage would be sharing a bath with one’s wife. Eliane leaned against his chest, her body between his thighs and their long legs propped together on the opposite end.

He circled her with his arms and placed his hands on her stomach, where he traced lazy circles with his thumbs. Her hair had been braided and pinned up by a grinning Khati and it cushioned her head upon his shoulder.

Eliane placed her hands over his. “Does it bother you overmuch that you are to be a father so soon?”

He laughed. “ ’Twas to be expected, although it was the last thing on my mind that night.” He stretched his hands over her stomach.
What will it be like when your belly swells with our child?
“My ego is large enough to be flattered that I put a child in you the first time we were together.”

Eliane squeezed his thumbs. “Methinks it will take most of my waking hours to keep your head from swelling beyond the size of your helm.”

“What of the other part of me that swells?” He nipped at her ear.

“Is that the only thought that fills your swollen head?” She teased him mercilessly but he found that he enjoyed it.

“I am a man with the most beautiful wife in the
kingdom. What else should I think on?” He nuzzled her neck and thrilled at the shiver that rippled down her spine.

“Think on this, husband. Do you believe the king will be tempted to put aside our marriage now that I am breeding?”

Rhys moved his hands up and circled his arms around her breasts. “I think the king plays a game of chess and we are his pawns.”

“You said that before. I don’t understand why we are of such importance to him. Our estates combined are still minor compared to others. We have no connections save Peter and no enemies save Renauld.”

“I believe that Renauld has something on the king. Something that Henry does not want revealed.”

“What could it be?”

“It would have to be something that would affect his standing with the Church. He and Becket are battling for control of England. The king would willingly sacrifice us to gain what he wants.”

“In the time we’ve been here, it seems as if he’s given no thought to us at all.”

“Henry did not win his power by being foolish. He’s a patient man. He’s waiting for someone else to make a move. To set aside our marriage, especially when it is most obvious you carry my child, would risk excommunication. So he waits for one of us to make a move.”

Eliane turned to him and took his hand. “That is why he sends you and Renauld to Ireland. He hopes that one of you will die there.”

“I have thought the same thing many times.”

“Be careful, Rhys. Renauld is not above sticking a knife in your back or paying someone to do it for him.
Think of how easily it could be done, especially during a battle.”

“Peter and I have talked of the same thing. And Mathias has been instructed on what to do. Renauld tried to kill me once; I will not let him try again.”

“What happens if you both come back safe and sound? What then? Can you challenge Renauld? Could we not just go home once you’ve fulfilled your obligation?”

“Nay, if we were to leave without the king’s blessing, we would forfeit our lands and possibly our lives. Mine most certainly. If I attack Renauld and lose, then Renauld will get you, Aubregate, and Myrddin by default. If Renauld attacks me and I lose, then you will go into the king’s custody along with the daughter you carry in your womb.”

Eliane sat up and turned in the tub. She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her chin upon her knees and studied him with her emerald eyes. Llyr, who lay beside the bed, sat up at her movement and watched to see what she would do. The fire, just large enough to take the chill off the evening, lit her profile. “Then do not lose,” she said carefully.

“As much as I appreciate your confidence, winning is not something I can guarantee.”

“Things would be much simpler if we were at Aubregate and he could simply disappear. Could we not make the same thing happen here?” Eliane suggested.

Rhys leaned forward to face her. “Eliane. I will not do anything without honor. When I face Renauld, it will be face-to-face and with honor. I will not lower myself to loiter in some dark place where a knife could be slipped into his back.” He took her hands in his. “Do you understand?”

She smiled. “I do.” She reached for a towel. “I regret that I did not kill him years ago. I could have spared us this trouble.”

“When could you have killed him? And why?”

She rose from the tub, wrapped herself in a towel, and handed him one. “Should I summon Mathias and Khati?”

He wrapped the towel round his waist. “Tell me of Renauld first.”

“It was right after Peter left. Right before his knighting. And Renauld’s too. He was at Chasmore for some reason. He had not been there in years. It was the first and only time I saw him. Han and I were in the forest and I wanted to see what was on the other side. So he took me to the edge that borders Chasmore lands. There was a field, and a crofter’s hut that had a wall caved in. We heard the most pitiful cries, and Han and I both went because we knew some creature was in pain. Renauld was there and he had a puppy with him. A tiny thing, like one of the lapdogs that Lady Longsmere carries about. He had his knife and he…” Eliane covered her mouth with her hand and a tear coursed down her cheek. Her emerald eyes were full of pain as she recalled the events long past. He could not bear it. He pulled her into his arms. “He was torturing it…cutting it…I killed it with my bow.” She cried into his chest. “If only I had killed him too. But Han would not let me. Renauld chased us, threatening us. He called me an ugly freak because of my ears.”