Breathe (6 page)

I smiled back. That was a relief. I wasn’t ready to share who I really wanted to put on my shirt. After the drama with Lisa, I wasn’t ready to tell anyone how I felt about Easton. The girls had mentioned he wasn’t dating, but for all I knew he could have a crazy ex or something. I refused to allow myself to Facebook-stalk him to find out. I just had to wait and see. Being obvious was not my thing. Most of the time, quiet and unobtrusive is what worked for me. I had been the center of some pretty intense attention at one point in my life, and I could do without it. Being that Easton was a football star and beyond gorgeous, I really wasn’t sure I wanted to be at the center of that.

Who was I kidding? I would probably jump at the chance. Ugh! I was sick of being in my own head. It was going to be good just to go have some fun with my new friends.

We headed off to the school gym for the rally. We found some seats on the bleachers. I hadn’t been to a pep rally before. I wasn’t even sure if my school back home had them. I guess the point was to get everyone excited about the game tonight. Mission accomplished apparently, because everyone in school crammed into these bleachers that normally were packed away against a wall but slid out for basketball or volleyball games. It was ridiculously hot and sticky inside the gym. We were shoved up against each other in a space meant for half the people it was holding. I hoped I didn’t have a desperate need to pee anytime soon because there was no way I was getting out of my seat until it was over.

When the band started playing the school fight song, all the cheerleaders ran out yelling and tumbling. Everyone in the gym stood up and screamed and yelled and caused a ruckus. The football players followed at a more dignified pace. Easton looked amazing in his jersey and jeans. They all took their places in the chairs set up on the basketball floor, and the coaches followed, looking serious.

A pastor of a local church opened in prayer. The coaches spoke about how great the team was going to be this year and how we were going to beat whoever it was we were playing tonight. We were treated to a routine by the cheerleaders and the drill team. Lots of hooting and hollering followed. I barely sat in my seat the whole time. The energy in the room was almost tangible. Everyone was so excited. I had never experienced this kind of hype for a sporting event. My ears were ringing from all the yelling. The band music was loud and echoing in the gym.

I was trying to watch the cheerleaders and the drill team do their routines on the gym floor, but I was distracted by the pull to stare at Easton. I felt a constant tugging to find him where he was sitting with all the other football players. The times I gave in were scary and heart pounding. Once, he seemed to be scanning the crowd, and then the next time he was staring right at me. He smiled. I smiled back and looked away quickly. He filled out his jersey better than the other players. Did he even need to wear football pads? Why was I feeling this way about a guy I had just met? I was so stupid. He probably made every girl feel this way. I needed to hold it together. Passing out a second time wouldn’t help the situation. Holy cats, he was so beautiful I could barely breathe.

The rest of the pep rally passed in a blur of color and bad band music. The whole while, all I could think of was how gorgeous he was. When it was finally over, it was so crowded we were trying to inch our way out, but it was like swimming upstream. People were elbow to elbow and smashed up against each other. Everyone from the school must have been packed in for the rally. Trenton was right—football was like a religion here. We moved along the bleachers slowly. Everyone was talking at once in excited voices, and the sound was echoing in my head. The girls were trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t really hear what they were saying with everyone talking around me. We got separated from each other with all the pushing and shoving to get out.

When I got to the end of the row, I looked up and Easton was standing in front of me. I was instantly a mortified mess. I could feel all the sweat dripping down my back, and I pictured what a disaster I must look like after being squashed in between all these people in the insanely hot gym. He, of course, looked like he just stepped out of an Abercrombie ad. Except he had clothes on.

“Hey,” he said with his killer smile.

“Hey,” I replied. How original.

“I was wondering… are you going to the game?”

I tried to think, but his gorgeousness was making it difficult. “Um, yeah.” Brilliant. I was a brainless idiot. I was sure he wasn’t shocked.

“Well, we all usually go to the diner after the game. Would you like to go with me?” He looked at me through the fringe of his hair.

“I… uh… Sure. That would be fun.”

His smile got bigger. “Good. It’ll take me a little while before I get out of the locker room after the game. Do you mind waiting? I could meet you by the snack shop.” I looked at my friends, who were standing behind him. Their mouths were hanging open. I must have been six shades of red.

“That’s… uh… great. I’ll meet you there.”

“See you then, Miss Jasmine. Ladies.” He nodded to the girls as he headed toward the boys’ locker room. What had just happened? Did he just ask me out? Did I just say yes? I could feel my breath start to come in short, fast gasps. And I’d acted like a dork in front of him again. I couldn’t figure out if I was excited or horrified.

In a heartbeat I was surrounded and dragged away by three squealing girls. Mandy, Julia, and Raquel were hustling me out the door to the car, but before we went through I saw Lisa glaring at me from the corner. Crap. Not good. She must have seen him talking to me. Did she know he asked me out? Could she tell? That would be bad. Like I needed more drama right now. I wondered how crazy this girl really was. Before I could dwell on it too much, the girls started with the inquisition.

“Oh. My. Gosh! Did Easton Ward just ask you to the diner after the game?”

“Um… yes?”

Louder squealing.

“How do you know him?”

“He’s a senior!”

“He’s the quarterback!”

“He doesn’t date anyone at school. Ever.”

“How did this happen?”

“Tell us everything!” Much more squealing.

Somehow we had made our way to the car, but I wasn’t sure how. I was overwhelmed with the rapid-fire questions.

As we got in, Mandy and Julia turned around in the front seats. “This car is not moving until you spill!” Julia demanded.

Ugh. In order for me to tell them what happened, I would have to share my most embarrassing moments. Did I want to do that? I really wanted to have girlfriends again. Maybe it would be all right. I didn’t have to tell them anything else yet. They seemed trustworthy, and I could swear them to secrecy and hope they kept it to themselves.

“If I tell you the story, you have to swear not to tell another living soul. The events I am about to share with you are the most embarrassing of my life.” I narrowed my eyes at them. “I also expect you all to share equally embarrassing stories with me at some point this evening to make it even. If a word gets out about any of the details of these stories, I’ll know where it came from, and I will make it my mission to destroy you.” I stared each one of them in the eye. They all stared back solemnly and nodded. “Pinky swear.” I stuck out my pinky, and we all linked together and shook.

“Nobody better spit in my car!” Julia shouted.

“No, no spitting! Unnecessary!” I exclaimed. Spitting made me nauseated.

I told them the Wal-Mart story. I explained about my “condition” and why I faint so easily. When I got to the part about Easton catching me, all three girls squealed again and then sighed.

“That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard of happening in real life.” Julia sighed again.

“Is that all that happened?” Mandy asked.

“Well, I sort of ran away after he put me down.” I smiled sheepishly.

“What? Why?” she demanded.

“I was so embarrassed! I hate fainting. I felt like an idiot!”

“Okay, okay. Go on. Then what?” Raquel asked.

“Well, I saw Trenton the next day at lunch. I think he felt bad, so he walked me to class.”

Julia shook her head. “That is so not why he walked you to class!”

I gave her the stink eye. “He’s just a kid.”

“Uh-huh.”

Mandy and Raquel were bouncing in their seats. “Go on, go on!”

I filled them in on the other day in the hallway, but left out that I had been spooked. I didn’t want to explain it yet. I was just not ready to see the pity on their faces when I told them who I am. So I just said I knocked him down running for the bus. I was getting good at half-truths. I told them about the run in the rain and the ride home.

I think Mandy was ready to swoon.

“That is amazing! Do you know what this means?” Her eyes were like saucers.

“No, what?” I asked warily. What did I miss?

“You’re dating Easton Ward!”

“No, no, no. He asked me to the diner. That doesn’t mean we’re dating. That’s one date. That’s it.”

Raquel and Mandy exchanged looks.

“What?” I demanded.

“Wellll…” Raquel dragged out. “The diner is where you go when you want to make your relationship public. You don’t go there with someone you are just seeing. Guys only take girls there when they are serious. When you go there, everyone will see you together and assume you are dating exclusively.” Raquel gave me a sly look. “I think it’s interesting that he’s taking you there when he has never, ever, taken a girl there before… and there is really no way you would know what it means, but everyone else will,” she informed me, all in one breath.

Mandy was nodding, and Julia stared at me wide-eyed. ”Wow,” she muttered.

I was officially panic-stricken. I was already scared out of my tree about going anywhere alone with him again. I had made an idiot of myself so many times already, I couldn’t believe he didn’t think I was a complete loser. I also had to figure out a way to go to the diner with him and not have my mom find out. All this added pressure was not helping.

“I think you all are overreacting. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it like that. It’s probably just because all his friends are going.”

They laughed. “Uh, no,” Raquel responded. “No way.”

Julia finally started the car, and we made our way to her house. She lived in an upscale neighborhood. Even though her house was definitely on the fancy side, it had a very lived-in feel. Cozy and homey. It was one of those houses that had a great room that opened to the kitchen, where everyone hung out and ate popcorn and watched movies together. It was so different from mine. Not because it was fancier and nicer but because it had a lightness that I recognized. I remembered the lightness. There was nothing weighing it down. There was no burden of grief here. My house used to feel like this. It had been gone a long time. I wanted it back, but I wasn’t sure if it was possible or how to go about making it happen.

Her mom was really nice. She was bustling around the kitchen fixing dinner for us: Chicken Caesar Salad, homemade crusty bread, and sweet tea. It was wonderful not to have to think about cooking. My mom had been working so much this week, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen at home. I do the majority of the cooking for our family and have since Daisy’s murder. I don’t mind cooking. I actually like it sometimes, but I was always happy when someone else took care of it. I felt like I was being spoiled.

After dinner, we helped clean up and went upstairs to freshen our look. Quick showers were in order. I hadn’t known, but the girls made two sets of rally shirts. Apparently being seen in the same shirts from the rally was bad. Curling and straightening hair, and makeup, needed to be done and we only had a short time. As there was never enough time for four teenage girls to get ready, of course we were late.

Waiting in line to get in, I couldn’t believe the crowd. By the time we got through the gate, I felt like I needed another shower. It had not cooled off much from earlier, and the air was still thick with humidity. The lights in the stadium were so bright, it was lit up almost like daytime. It was immense and loud. I could hear the band playing and smell the popcorn. I hadn’t gone to many of my high school football games at home. Daisy’s murder had happened, and I just never got involved or even cared, so I really couldn’t wait to be a part of it all now.

The game hadn’t started, but we had to hurry to get to our seats before it began. The other juniors were all in a section together, and we just smushed in with the rest of them. There was more jumping, yelling, and shouting, similar to the pep rally but much louder. I didn’t know all the rules, but I could keep up with the game well enough. I spent most of the time following number four, anyway.

We were ahead at halftime. After watching the cheerleaders’ halftime routine, we all needed to run to the bathroom. Of course the line for the girls’ bathroom was ridiculously long. We spent the time in line talking about the game and what everyone was wearing. The boys all seemed to smirk at us when they came out of their side and saw we were still waiting. So unfair. When I finally got into the stall, my phone vibrated. It was a text. I figured my mom wanted me to introduce her to Julia’s mom. When I opened the text, my stomach felt like it hit the ground.

Did you like your flowers? You and I were meant to be together…