Breathe Again (30 page)

“When have you ever considered my privacy, Jack?” I replied nervously, chugging back more of my beer. His eyes narrowed in on mine as they flashed with excitement and intrigue.
Oh shit.

“Have you had sex since you left LA?”

What the hell?
I knew my eyes shot open in shock and my hand holding the bottle lingered just near my mouth as I took in his words. The sound of Tate choking on his beer caused a nervous laugh to escape my throat. Jack certainly had no qualms about getting right to the nitty gritty details.

“No, Jack. I haven’t had sex since I left.”

Jack’s eyes widened and darted to Tate and then back to me. Did he honestly think I’d have fucked myself around Sydney? “Has anyone touched you since you left LA?” His voice was lower this time.

“Nope. The only hands that have been on my body are mine.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, woman. What about you, Tate?”

“You know the answer to that, Jack,” Tate growled. His eyes glaring at me, penetrating deep in my soul in only the way Tate Connors could. “I haven’t touched or kissed anyone since Savannah and I certainly haven’t had sex.”

“Well fuck me sideways! How the hell are you two not ripping each other’s clothes off right now? You aren’t even eye-fucking! You two are notorious for that.”

The intensity of Tate’s glare and the directness of his words offered the kind of promise I needed. I didn’t want to eye-fuck him—I wanted him. I needed to show him that he still owned me in every sense of the world. My heart was still his, my body was still his, and I would always be his.

“So, ahh, the little guy settled, okay?” Tanzi asked with a comforting smile, thankfully breaking my addiction to Tate. I turned my attention to her and smiled brightly at the talk of Max.

“Yeah, he went down without a fight. I think he was too excited about being in his new room to worry about fighting me about going to bed.”

Silence fell among the four of us and the sound of the ocean roared in the distance. I felt eyes on me and finally looked up from the neck of the bottle. “Why are you crying, Tanzi?” I asked softly, finding tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked at me with a smile plastered on her face.

“I still can’t believe I have my best friend back. You don’t realize how much I missed you. Do not ever leave again. I will hunt you down,” she warned with a short laugh.

Watching tears fall from my best friend’s eyes made my stomach twist. I had missed her so freaking much. The calls, the mass of emails and text messages daily weren’t the same as sitting here with her.

“It was the scariest time of my life. I thought I’d lost him, Tanzi,” I admitted, deciding then and there to put my cards on the table. It was true. My life had only functioned for Max and Mr. Davenport over the past three months. Everything I had done I’d done for them, and I knew people thought I was selfish because of it. I loved Tate with my whole heart, but the fear of my past, the fear of loss, and the feeling that I was indebted to Mr. Davenport had taken control of my life. “I never wanted to leave you, but I owe Mr. Davenport my life and I had to be there for him. I didn’t know what else to do.” The familiar feeling of tension burned in my chest. My eyes moistened as a threat of tears appeared. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to keep Max from you all.” I looked at Tate, knowing that I was saying these words to him, begging for him to listen to my words. His eyes blazed at me, showing regret and confusion.

“It wasn’t just Max we missed,” Tate spat in my direction. He was now completely facing me, watching me, taunting me.

“Well you aren’t making that very clear, Tate. I know I fucked up, I know that I took your son away from you and I will regret that for the rest of my life, but I didn’t know what else to do. What the fuck could I possibly have done? I tried to do what I thought was right and it’s blown up in my face. I don’t know what I have to do to make you see.”

“Make me see what, Savannah?” He shifted in his seat, leaning over the table in my direction, allowing his eyes to penetrate me so brutally. I completely forgot that we had company, but right at this moment I couldn’t give a shit.

“That I love you more than anything, Tate. Yes I screwed up, yes I know you will never fully understand why I supposedly ran, and I don’t expect you to. But I want nothing more than to be wrapped up in you completely. That’s what I want you to see.” I was breathless and spent.

Without another word, he pushed back his seat, the screech of the legs scraping on the pavers below making me cringe. His eyes never found me again. He stormed through the glass door and into the house, leaving me in a puddle of emotions.

After sitting under the stars for another hour with no sign of Tate returning, I slurred that I was going to bed. Three beers had rocked me and the craziness of the past three days suddenly rushed through me in brutal force. With a mumbled goodnight from Tanzi and Jack, I walked through the house, the lights on low creating a harmonious atmosphere in the air when in reality this house was far from harmonious at the moment.

As I walked down the hall, I hesitated at Tate’s closed door before shaking the thoughts of bursting into his room and demanding that we talk out of my head. I took off towards my room with my tail between my legs and headed straight for the safety of my bathroom.

“Can I speak to you for a second?”

“Shit!” I shrieked, clutching my heart as shock filled me. I looked into the reflection of the mirror and found Tate standing by the door. “You scared the bloody daylights out of me.”

He didn’t say a word. He just moved into the bathroom like a vision of want and need. I dropped my eyes from his and fumbled with my cleanser on the sink, desperate for anything to distract me.

“What are you doing?” I breathed out as the feeling of his body close to mine took the air from my lungs.

He didn’t touch me, but his breath caressed me delicately on the sensitive flesh of the back of my neck. He didn’t move an inch. He just hovered dangerously close. Like a moth to a flame, my body flickered alight. He took a step closer, the curves of his chest now sculpted against my back. With feather-like fingertips, he swept over my bare shoulder blades and neck, pushing away the hair that covered the skin near my ear.

“I need to stay away from you, Sav, because I’m scared that you’ll run again, but every part of me is begging me to be near you.” He ground his hips into me. “My mind is screaming at me to let myself go to you but my heart is questioning everything.” His eyes flickered to mine in the mirror. “I need you to tell me what you want, Sav. What should I do?” he asked as one hand skimmed across my stomach, coming to rest on the bare skin peeking out from the top of my jeans.

“Don’t ask me that.” I sighed. My head involuntarily fell to the side as his teeth raked over my flesh, nipping and gripping my most sensitive spot just above my collarbone. My body pushed back into his like a magnet, fitting so perfectly against it. This shouldn’t be happening, but my body was in battle with my conscience and my body always seemed to win. My hand rose and wrapped around the back of his neck as his lips danced over my neck, kissing, sucking, stroking, and devouring me.

“I love you, Tate. I truly do.”

My eyes found our reflection in the mirror and the image of him consuming me made my body hum and forget everything. His fingertips skillfully unbuttoned my jeans and his hand slid into the front of my lace panties. He hesitated and his eyes flickered to mine in the mirror.

“Have I told you lately how much I love your accent?” he whispered as his lips grazed my jawline and his fingers slipped between my folds. I gasped loudly as he pushed a finger deep within me. “We shouldn’t be doing this. We have too much to discuss, but I can’t stop. This is what you do to me, Sav. Even when you break my heart, I still love you.”

My head flew back to his shoulder as his pace increased. Adding a second finger, he thrust in and out of me so rhythmically and so intensely. At the first sound of my moan of pleasure, he captured my sounds with his lips on mine. His tongue dove into my mouth, tasting and caressing every inch. I fell headfirst into the kiss. The sensation of being owned by Tate’s body overcame me, possessed me, ignited me.

I rocked fiercely against his hand, begging for more, needing more. Every inhibition I had about this faded the moment his thumb met my aching core. I shuddered around him, a wave of pleasure ripping through me as I came undone around his fingers in the bathroom with Tanzi and Jack barely a room away.

He spun me around, picking me up and sitting me on the bathroom counter. Bringing his fingers to his mouth, his tongue flicking over his fingers, he tasted me and made me completely and utterly fall apart. I grabbed at his belt buckle, pulling him to my body and forcing my lips to his. I could taste myself on his tongue and the lioness roared within me. As we battled each other for ownership of our mouths, his groan against my lips filled the air. Just as quickly as it had started, he pulled away and took a step back. His face froze as he looked me over with my jeans undone and my face flushed with satisfaction.

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

He rushed out of the bathroom without another word. Fuck this! After pulling my jeans up over my hips and buttoning up my fly, I stormed out of the bathroom and down the hall towards his now closed door. I didn’t bother knocking. Opening the door, I took one step in and stopped. Tate sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands with his shoulders slouched. I silently crossed the room and climbed on the bed behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He froze under my touch before allowing his head to fall back against me.

Kissing the side of his neck, I pulled him back, his body falling against the comfort of his mattress. I took a chance. I crawled up beside him and held my breath, expecting him to ask me to leave, but he didn’t. As we lay facing each other, we stared at each other, communicating by our eyes only. He tucked a piece of loose hair behind my ear and his thumb swept over my bottom lip so innocently, so calming.

I lay there for an hour as I watched his heavy eyes succumb to tiredness. My need to wrap myself in him almost overcame me and the thought of touching him, kissing him, feeling him was almost too much. Sliding off his bed, I hesitated before I walked to the door and opened it quietly.

I wouldn’t spend the night unless I was invited.

Tate

T
HE ANNOYING
buzz of my phone vibrating against the glass top of my bedside table ripped me from my slumber. Stretching my arms above my head, I was swamped by an uneasy feeling. Instantly my eyes fell to the empty space beside me and everything came flooding back like a torrent of rain.

Savannah.

My memories flashed to only hours earlier, my body coming alive with an instant heat. I thought of her unforgettable taste as I’d licked my fingers clean and the way she had completely unleashed herself under my touch. My low groan of satisfaction filled the empty space of my bedroom. Her body was once again my kryptonite and it was destroying me in the best possible way. With a heavy sigh, I fumbled for my shirt and slipped it over my head, stretching tall and allowing my bones to crack into comfort.

After I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the empty hall, my ears focused on the soft voice coming from behind the closed door of Max’s room. I hesitated for a moment before slowly opening the door. Peering around the door, my face came alive with a smile as I found him lying on his bed with a Lightning McQueen figurine in one hand and a Thomas figurine in the other. The three of them seemed to be having an in depth conversation about the beach. I stood, leaning against the doorframe with my arms folded across my chest, taking in the miracle before me.

Max’s head shot up and turned towards where I was standing and his face lit up in delight. Lightning McQueen and Thomas were soon forgotten as he jumped off his bed and threw himself at me. “Daddy!” I still couldn’t believe how one simple word could make me so happy. Hearing him call me Daddy made me forget everything.

“Want some breakfast and cartoons?” I asked softly, trying not to wake the rest of the house.

“Pancakes and juice box?” he asked with a smile I couldn’t say no to.

While we walked through the silent house and made our way to the kitchen, Max chatted animatedly about the beach and his new room. My smile said a thousand words. I placed Max on the counter and turned on the small flat screen we had on the far wall near the counter to the first cartoon channel I could find. I busied myself pulling out everything I needed to make my world-famous pancakes. Soon enough, the smell of pancakes filled the air and Max ignored the cartoons. He sat cross-legged on the counter with his juice box and started telling me how he wished he could live in a sand castle that he would make with Gramps, Jack, Lucas, Blake, and me. This kid was a riot and had the imagination of a bestselling author.

“Daddy. Listen!” he barked in frustration. Damn, he had a temper on him. Smirking at the knowledge that he had obviously gained his short fuse from me, I spun around and startled when I found Sav watching as from the living room, a sweet smile covering her face. As soon as her eyes met mine, she blushed.