Breathe With Me (The Breathe Series Book 3) (51 page)

She suggested me healing through opening up further, by explaining to you what had happened…

I recite the words silently then repeat them again. A more profound sensation moves through me than I’ve ever felt before; a sense of strength, courage and confidence that barely gives way to light at the end of this dark and lonely tunnel that I’ve been trying to claw my way out of for years.

Can I do this? Can I?

My hand falls to my phone and I rip it up, urgency pulsing through every cell in my body with the need to face it all, to open up, to free fall into a place I’ve never ventured. Evan’s face comes to mind; his laugh, his smile, his voice.
Breathe, Piper, Breathe with me.

I pull up the first name on my phone, the most recent contact and begin to text.

Me: Hey, I know you’re working today, but I need to talk to you. Would you want to come over and hang out here at my house later?

After hitting send, and as always, it takes only seconds to hear a chime.

Abby: Sure! Sounds great. Everything ok?

I sigh, knowing everything will be ok, even though this will be the hardest step I’ve ever had to make in my life.
Can I even do this? Can I finally open up to everyone?
The fear of possibly chickening out once it’s upon me rises within me as I read her text, so I nip it in the bud so that I have no choice.

Me: Everything is fine. I need to talk to you about what went on at the restaurant…about what you brought up in the bathroom. There’s a lot I need to tell you and a lot I should have told you a long time ago. No worries, but I’m just ready to talk. :)

Abby: I’m always here and yes, I will head right over after work. I’ll bring us some greasy cheeseburgers and fries and we can talk all night. Sleep over? ;)

I love you! <3

I smile at her response, braver by the minute.

Me: Ok…see you later. Make mine a double cheeseburger. ;)

Abby: You got it. :)

I don’t stop at that, pulling up Dad’s name and shooting him a quick text as well, knowing I probably won’t hear back from him as fast.

Me: I was hoping we could chit chat when you got home. Love you, Daddy.

Placing the phone in my lap, I know I won’t worm my way out of this. Abby won’t let me forget it after I said I need to talk. She should have been a detective; she’s pretty dang persuasive and has a pretty sick ability to sense when someone is holding back. I’m surprised she didn’t ask me years ago about the blackouts, but if she had any sort of a clue what may have happened, I know Abby has the heart enough to respect my privacy. No more…I’m getting all of this out. First Abby, then I’ll tell Dad that I want to talk to Mom, then whatever comes with speaking to Trent. I can’t hide from this anymore. It’s only fueling the fire and turning my life into a mess.
I can do this; I have to do this.

THE COUCH SHIFTS AND I
look over at the pain in my ass that has the same lack of restraint in opening her yap as I do. I’m six beers into my second week of moping and I really don’t care to stop myself this time.

“Abby, tell me something…do you plan to be in the passenger seat for every major break up moment, or is that just a coincidence?”

All eyes swing to me sitting lazily on the couch; the same place where I planted my ass two hours ago when I showed up at my best friend’s house, hell bent on drinking my sorrows away. Judd’s mouth drops open, Alyssa’s eyes grow heavy with remorse, and Abby, she just flat out looks like she may knock my lights out.

“Evan!” Judd’s eyes spring open and he looks from Abby to Alyssa.

“No…no, no. I’m fine. It’s fine. He’s pissed at me,” Abby snaps, stopping Judd from scolding me like I’m a stupid teenage kid mouthing off to their parents. “Just let him get this out. I’m sure he’s been waiting the last two weeks to say it.”

I snicker, kicking my head back into the plush cushions of the couch. Abby stands up from the arm, pulling her hands up to her hips; I laugh harder, the vibrations moving from my stomach up into my chest and spewing out my mouth in a breathy chuckle.

“You know, you remind me of a cat,” I slur out, pointing my index finger with my thumb and other three fingers wrapped around my half-empty beer bottle. “Like right now…” Abby lowers her chin, glaring at me through her lashes. “I’d imagine if you were a cat, you’d have your fur all raised and be doing one of those high arched back stances right now as a form of intimidation. Like ‘Hey, I’m bigger than you so give it your best shot’.”

“Are you finished?” she snaps, looking unfazed and completely unamused.

“Me?” I yell out dramatically, nudging my chin back sarcastically with a smirk. “Hell, I’m just getting started. I’ve got a huge ass mouth on me, or haven’t you heard? I’m sure you have. I mean with not taking any of my calls or responding to my text messages, Piper had to have plenty of girly gab time on her hands.” I take a couple more gulps of my beer, the hard circular edge of the bottle pressed to my lips as a flood of bitter liquid slides down my throat. “But you know, I think that’s why I like you so much, Abby. You have a ginormous freaking mouth too and neither one of us know how to gauge when we should keep the damn things shut. I mean, you just spout off and…”

“Evan, really?!” Judd tries to shut me down, but Abby once again stops him.

“Oh no, seriously Judd, let him keep going,” she bites out, shifting her hand across her chest and slowly drumming her fingertips against her left bicep.

Alyssa spits out a laugh; Judd and Abby turn her way, causing her to stand up stiff as a board and stop.

“What?!” Her eyes widen as she walks towards me and plops down on the cushions. “I like drunk-Evan. He’s even more entertaining than smartass-sober-Evan.”

I wobble my head to the side and smile, looking at her through hazy eyes. “You’re alright too, Alyssa. Any girl that gets her freak on with my best friend as much as you do, has to be cool…”

“Oh geez, Evan…” Judd starts again, persistent on quieting me, which cracks me up.

I never look over at him, keeping my eyes trained on Alyssa and my case of beer on the table behind her. “You hand me another one of those?” Quickly, I raise the one in my hand to my lips and guzzle it down.

She complies, twisting at the waist and grabbing a beer with a subtle pop and fizz sound.

Once I have a new beer in my hand, I carry on, determined to fire Abby up.

“Speaking of the difference in siblings, I ran into one of your admirers, Abby, the same night that you opened your mouth. You know, the one that you so graciously helped out with?” I raise my brows, waiting for a response, maybe even for her to lunge at me. A slow rumble moves up my chest and comes out on a growl type chuckle as I take several more gulps of my beer.

Abby shifts, pushing her lips to the side as she bites the inside of it.

“Ooooo, an admirer? I wanna hear about this.”

I snicker at Alyssa’s enthusiasm, even though Abby’s mood is slowly altering from playful annoyance to a fiery volcano of f-bombs and obscenities that is sure to explode on me at any minute.

“Ooooh yeah,” I holler out, not sure if my words are coming out in one long mass of slurs now or if I’m pausing long enough to separate them. “We had a long chat…”

Judd steps forward, glancing at Abby every other second. He’s more than likely expecting Abby to lose her cool and claw at my face like some rabid animal, but she’s a mountain of restraint tonight.

“Evan, hey, why don’t I take you home and you can pick up your truck tomorrow?”

Abby doesn’t even acknowledge him. “Is that so?” she pauses, genuinely curious. “So who was this admirer?” She pulses her eyes, widening them then quickly drawing them back to a perturbed squint.

“Well, I’ll give you a clue…” I stop before going on, “He said you are a pain in the ass. Ohhhh…ouch. You? A pain in the ass…never.” I mock, snickering to myself, nearly ready to crack another beer open. “Oh hey, did your boyfriend ever settle on getting that tattoo of your name across his bicep? He could always get Abby spelled out creating an ass out of the two B’s…” I put my free hand up in the air, creating a letter ‘C’ with my thumb and index finger, then carefully doing the same with the other while keeping my bottle tightly grasped in my hand. “It’d be perfect and very fitting.”

Abby stands still and the room goes silent, everyone looking over at her.
This is no fun; she’s not even letting me pester her.

“Ok, finish up your beer and I’ll take you home,” Judd suggests again.

“I’m beginning to think you don’t like my company,” I tease, knowing the threat of a woman going ballistic is making him nervous as hell.

Judd shakes his head, but Abby beats him to the punch, once again.

“Oh no, Evan…we are all enjoying watching you make an ass out of yourself.”

Snickering loudly, I point back at her, my grin unable to stretch any further. “Oh no, we can give all the credit of being an ass to you, remember? Come on Abby, I thought we just established this. Tristan clearly pointed out that you are the biggest pain in the ass.”

“Tristan?! Oh well, there’s someone you wanna listen to on saying someone is a pain, not to mention, he was talking to you. I am sure you both could lap me in the ‘ass’ department.”

I crack up, about to slide off the cushion as I lean forward, my arm slung around my torso to keep my stomach from busting in two.

“And if anyone should get a picture of an ass tattooed on their body it’s you or you know, there are more suitable body parts that you could get. I’m sure some of the shops could draw a penis across your forehead…”

“Penis!” I burst out, my abs damn near about to rupture. “Such polite language, Abby. Are you saying I’m a penis head?”

“You’re a d…”

“Ok, let’s go!” Judd intervenes, keys already in hand and leaning down to grab my arm.

Abby switches gears fast, still eyeing me a second before looking at Judd. “I’m leaving too…I thought you two were going to see the late show?” she says, already sounding calm; her voice sounds as if it’s in a tunnel.

With a little help from Judd, I make my way to my feet, the room spinning and my whole body swaying as I try to steady myself from going head first to the ground. I chuckle.
This’ll be fun.

“No big deal…” Judd mumbles, keeping a tight lock on my upper arm as I wobble one foot forward followed by the next.

“You know what? I’ll take him back to his apartment.”

I look up, amused as hell just as Judd and Alyssa snap their heads to look at Abby as well.

“Whoa, you plan on dropping him at the dump or just throwing him out of the car while you’re doing 60 down the highway?” Judd’s voice carries a trace of concern hidden beneath the sarcasm.

Nudging my chin his way as I side step, smile and congratulate him, “Nice…good one.”

Abby sighs, moving in beside me. I look over, watching her face as she draws one brow up with a small smirk.
She’s up to something.

“No, seriously. You guys get to the movie and I’ll take him home,” she pauses, looking around at all three of us staring at her, me trying to hold back my laughter. “I promise. The penis head will arrive home safe and sound.”

No holding back on that one. As I bend forward, I slide out of Judd’s grasp and face plant right into the floor on a gut wrenching laugh.

“Come on…”

“Are you sure? He can barely walk. How do you plan to…?”

“I got it, you go…”

Moving slowly, all chatter merges into one garbled voice, my vision gets hazier and my mind spins. I try to concentrate, hearing a steady rhythm of a vehicle starting up and other background noises, but it all soon blends together. I fall, my ass and back hitting something solid, then a pressure bears down on my left thigh near my knee.

“Well, help me out here…get your feet in the car…”

I snicker again, knowing Abby is having a time with me.
Oh, this will be fun.
A door slams and I jolt to the side, then another click and another door slamming.
I wonder if she has a tarp and shovel in her trunk.